Sunset Shimmer used to be a raging she-demon, and despite her efforts to be a better person now, the students at Canterlot High just aren't cutting her a break.
When an old enemy comes along asking for help, Sunset sees a chance to prove that she's changed for the better. But she ends up getting a lot more than she bargained for.
[Takes place between Rainbow Rocks and Friendship Games. Teen for action violence and occasional language. Not romance, but may contain mild traces of Sunset x Rarity shipping]
Chapters (3)
That was actually a twist for me
You got me interested! please keep up the good work!
6691416 it was pretty much confirmed in the friendship games.
Nice intro; well-paced and nicely characterized,
s6.postimg.org/5ul2jmext/continue_Monkey.jpg
Sunsarity is p much the best
Even if it's only innuendo here
Call me interested.
6691659
What? How?
So, umm, it happens after the BoB but people still don't trust her?
Hey everyone! I've had a crazy week so only just getting round to a comment roundup. I'm not sure the coming weeks are going to be any less insane, so if I do take a while to reply, bear with me
6691416 Ha, it was a surprise for me, too - it kind of happened in the second draft, and I stuck with it. Should be pretty cute to go alongside the main story
6691618 Thanks, I'll do my best!
6691795 Good to hear, thank you. And yes, Continue Monkey, I shall
6692451 I was wondering what to call a Sunset x Rarity ship. Sunsarity - that's appropriately elegant
6693233 I hope I can keep it that way, Interested.
6695069 Yeah, that's the premise behind the story - What if people still didn't cut Sunset a break after RR? It's been a cool one to explore thus far (I'm drafted about ten chapters in thanks to NaNoWriMo), and I'm looking forward to finishing and sharing it.
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Thanks to all. Should hopefully have the next chapter ready for Wednesday!
6704828
Hmm. Yeah, it's fine.
For me, the twist was that it's Rarity instead of Adagio, by the way
They are only 15 years old? You sure this a good idea to make them this young?
Probably worth adding a sonata tag at this point?
Well, at least Flash is reasonable about things.
I wonder if what Adagio found... Seems ominous.
Hope Aria isn't face down in that ditch...
Something tells me tacos aren't quite going to cut it this time around, are they?
My only issue is that the statue in front of canterlot high is a normal horse. Not a unicorn.
artdrum.com/IMAGES/PHOTOSDRUMSINSTRUMENTS/ACCESSORIES/24_Inch_Gong_Hanger.jpg
Eh... Liking it so far. Some of the descriptions are a bit out of place, but I'm not really complaining. Although...
I can see why you had both in there, but I feel that the first was the least necessary. I find the introduction is hooking enough as it is. Still, I feel this is going to be a good fic. I found that the time-gap between EqG:2 and EqG:3 had plenty of opportunity for development, and you grabbed it!
...This can only end well.
Comment roundup #2!
6714761 Hmm, you think I should make them older? I mean Sonata's not actually fifteen, she just looks it. I thought out of the three Sirens she looked youngest.
6714862 Yeah I think so. I just didn't want to overtag it to begin with. I want a Sirens tag!
6714943 Yeah, I kind of enjoyed writing him as somewhat decent and understanding
Never thought much of his character in the films (nothing stood out, I mean), but fanfic is good for exploring things like this.
6715107 But... tacos!
6715259 6715310 Haha, whoops! Both fixed, thanks
6715798 Thanks! I've been experimenting with descriptions in this one, as it's not something I usually focus on - I just assume everyone knows what I'm talking about (which is usually the case for settings and characters in fanfic, but not really good practise for making accessible stories). It's very... different. It's kind of hard to make things accessible to new readers without overloading those who do know what I'm talking about. Practise makes perfect, and I appreciate feedback to help me towards that end...
Like that
I've taken the first one out completely, and now I feel clever because the first line sounds like something she'd say at an AA meeting, which feels appropriate. Cheers for the input! If you do notice anything else while reading, shout it out ;D
Yes! Me too. I've done my best with Sunset's development and I'm hoping it'll be a satisfying ending/lead-in to EQG3.
6721625
Personally, I consider 18 as perfect age for that. You can drink\have sex but still be in school. Though, (Personally) I'm fine with EqG characters even if they are up to 25 years old (Make little AU, where Canterlot High is university and school and the same time)
My guess is that the Sirens could literally completely sustain themselves on nothing but negative emotions. They can eat but got out of the habit so they don't really know how much they need to eat to properly sustain themselves. Sonata's blood sugar levels are probably all over the chart like someone who was trying to crash-fast for some reason.
I want more! Give me more!
I am enjoying the story very much, please do continue.
6751268 Thanks, I needed that nudge
Have a chapter!
I've got the feeling that Aria and Adagio may both be in way out of their newfound depths and in serious trouble.
I'm also expecting, in the next chapter, for Aria to start screaming at Sonata about 'ruining everything' by interfering in her association with Jet's gang. After that, she'll start going into turkey because she'd been using various drugs as well as alcohol for oblivion. The tests for STIs and pregnancy at the doctors will be... distressing but very necessary given how I bet those cheap thugs have doubtlessly been using her.
White Wind's not a bad name; makes me think of the healing spell of the same name from various Final Fantasy games.
If you wanted something that sounded more like an in-universe pony/EQG name, I think the name should depend on what kind of character you're planning him to be. If he's good at what he does and meant to be taken seriously, name him after a somewhat serious-sounding medical term, like 'Pacemaker' or 'Surgical Suture'. If (since he's still a student) you're intending for him to be unsure of himself or inexperienced, maybe something similarly low-key like 'Band Aid' or 'Cough Syrup'.
The other thing you could do, if you're not looking to make it a healing or medicinal pun is the 'Paint Chip' method... go to a hardware or paint store (or look online) for a list of all the colors of paint that a store/company sells, and pick from there. A lot of paint color names sound distinctly 'pony', and even if none of them are good sometimes they can give you inspiration for an idea of your own,
I wonder... Sonata's physical frailty was noted a couple times, and is probably just a result of her malnutrition, but if that malnutrition stems from not having their magic...
They could be dying, and Adagio is desperately trying to figure out how to stop it, while Aria is just trying to hit up as much physical pleasure as she can before she kicks it. Neither one have had the heart to tell Sonata.
If they are actually 15 years old by the look, they should have been sent to orphanage or something. That is why making them at least 18 years old is importantn to have freedom in writing.
Sunset picks up omnivorism. What is your reasoning for this?
Sorry, it's just an itch I always get when someone makes Sunset an omnivore and provides zero explanation.
6757358
that sad truth is people rarely notice this kind of thing in RL so it is perfectly normal for all this to go about as most people do not care
Nice story so far and eager for more!