Wow the feels man the feels so sad

Very well written, I would have cried if I wasn't a heartless bastard XD.

truth hurts like a bitch twilight get use to it in my opinion excalibur should leave Equis and never return just because theres nothing there for him let lotus use her "tenno" to protect it.

This was very saddening... even though I hardly felt anything when I read it. Now I'm even more on edge for the next chapter.

Well.....fuck......ummm......when did she learn to cuss?

By the throne.... You sir are a mistero at this!

Nooooooooo

7194769 let's see how many times does Excalibur cursed now? Uh ever since he got here. You do the math

Havent fought lenphestes yet so i had to check what the hell he looked like and damn thats disturbingly creepy, but quick question why didn't he bring in any of the other bosses like a Alad V and Zanuka or lynx and Jackal and Captain Vor or even stalker? Or the infestead Mesa and infestead chroma. I mean its a dream he can do what ever the hell he wants right? Hell he could have summond a formarian battle crusier if he wanted to.

7196714 Didn't think about the infetsed Mesa, and that chroma wasn't really infested it was just a chroma. Thought about the zanuka and the lynx/ jackel and didnt want them. Saving Stalker for later. Didnt want a famorian and the Lephantis its an interesting fight.

And then a human older than time rocks up and says to celestia "fuck a yooo fuck booyy" in an Asian accent

The end.

7196699 math done.....sleep now

7196859 saving stalker for later huh? Can't wait.

7198405 He will make his appearance, where and when will be a secret.

7198729 I think the alerts are messed up on the website its not showing replies to messages as unread its just making them automatically listed as read.

7198729 because it didn't show me that you replied to my thing about stalker. well it did but it didn't count it as unread for some reason

7200728 I noticed a guy replied to a comment three weeks ago and i didnt get back to him until i checked a few days ago

7200875 and your reply did that to i just checked to see if it had done it again and it had.

7201197 She will be back i just need to figure out where i want to put her

7200780 They are similar, yes. Though that doesn't change the fact they are 2 different species.

7203362 wait isint the orokin just another name for them, i thought they just sorta evolved a little seeing as grenier and corpus are listed as human disendents

7203742 Its the Orokin Empire and the Orokin are just another name yes. The Tenno are humans, the corpus are of human decent, and the grineer are human clones with terrible defects.

7203362 The wiki says that they are either precursor or post human. But since the Tenno are human, along with the corpus and the grineer being human clones they are human. Many of the lore stories in the prime entries of the codex talk about finding children or watching a ravenous beast start to attack, or being saved by an angel it shows that they are pretty much human. AND since the New Loka pray to the Earth in the hope that things will go back to what they once were. Which was a planet ruled by humans. Its ultimately shows that the Orokin were human descendants.

7203802 thank you for clearing that up, i swear lore in games nowadays is harder then a fucking 100 level behemoth and melee only challenge

7203802 Wait was the man the character from dark sector? The game that warframe is the spiritual successor of?

7194033 well if it were up to me loutus would be in more pain than anyone can imagine right now and the only thing keeping her alive would be an infested healer that also infected her.

7204007 Hayden Tenno from Dark Sector

7203933 Well the lore is so full of holes understanding certain things is hard. I always thought what is in my story. The Tenno are people in suits infected with the Tennocyte virus. And then the second dream comes out blows everyone's mind and explains the Ember entry in the codex.

7204028 huh tenno was his last name. convenient

7204047 Excaliburs proto armor and the proto glaive in warframe are based off of Haydens armor and the Nemesis Nyx skin is based off of the Nemesis from Dark Sector

7203802 Ok then, i thought they were just a different Species.

7205219 Yep... YOU WERE WRONG!

I'm sorry

If the chimp is writing and the shepard is reading... Then who comments? Birds?

Fuck reading the story, KILL THEM, IVE READ ENOUGH, YOU DONT IMMEDIATELY ASSAULT SOMEONE WHEN A PROBLEM HAPPENS.
give him some space, for fucks sake

Personally Twilight should have seen that coming. I mean Excalibur ONLY loved Twilight because she reminded him so much of Melanie and Twilight HE ALREADY SAID HIS FUCKING REASON GET OVER IT! Christian x Melanie all the way!!!! Lastly Excalibur whould have said something eariler. Anyways good read! Even though this is my 5th time reading.

I might be two years late to the party but... "Sniff*... sniff* Waaaahhhhh! Rulers of the country, i got dumped! Violate the basic rights of a sentient being so you can forcefully fuck with him when he wants to be alone, Waaaahhhhh! Then I'ma bitch to his face even tho I don't know shit. Waaaahhhhh!." Twilight is now my most disliked character, ever. But the story is pretty neeto.

Love isn't always pretty, in different situations, it brings out every emotion we are capable of and amplifies them. This chapter did an excellent job of portraying that, and adds realism to the struggle a love like this would bring. Well done.

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She could go with Hate, but the corrupt forms of the alicorns isn't their opposite. Just a corrupted form of what they themselves stand for. So Cadence would be Lust at best. Though lust is much better than any alternative. Getting dipped and dodged is a lot easier than being manipulated or emotionally and mentally tortured by someone you love for months or years.

Мне не надо друзей, мне не надо подруг.
Сам себе пиздатый друг

Before you read this I want to start off by saying I mean no offense, the story is good albeit flawed. In my opinion, of course. Everyone is entitled to disagree with me

“Don’t force this Celestia,” I threatened while I slowly reached for my pistol.

They want to talk to him and suddenly he's gonna what, pull a gun on them? I get he's not supposed to be entirely stable, but the way these princesses react to the violence he commits against them is... a bit laughable.

Every time there's a chance at some interesting diologue between characters it gets glazed over with a couple sentences and some exposition of what happened in past tense. I don't want to hear about what happened, I want to see it for myself. There's way too much tell and not enough show.

Back to the dreadful encounter the princesses had with excalibur, after going to draw a weapon on them he then has his weapons removed from his person. Okay, understandable. When he fights back and fires off a round it turns into a restraint match before devolving into a fight where, might I add, excalibur struck first with the headbutt.

To me the pacing of this story is wildly inconsistent and all over the place at times. The build up of Twilight falling for excalibur felt good, but vice versa was a bit lacking. The whole time it felt like excalibur was aware of her feelings but never returned any because of his past and he didn't have any for her. But then all of a sudden he accepted the date and these feeling felt like they came flying out of left field. I've read to this point but the whole exchange between the princesses and excalibur was such a mess I had to say something.

I want to close this off by saying i'm not trying to rip on you as an author, I just wanted to make my concerns heard but I also am keeping in mind this story is years old by now.

Nevertheless, I wish you gl but I think ill be stopping here.

11045585
I do need to go through and redo a lot of writing for sure, after this long, I read some of my earlier chapters and cringe. One thing I want to point out as far as character development is that Cal is a very flawed man. I wanted him to be horribly flawed to the point that he resorts to acts of violence because he doesn't know how to resolve situations in a more peaceful manner. My intention is that over time he would learn how to not be so severely flawed.

11045659
Understandable. I just went through rewriting a ton of my stories and i know how annoying it is to see your past and know you can write better. If you wanted any help i'd be willing to help out as an editor if you'd like.