Domination of Equestria - T-15 - days.
The Battle For Ponyville: 10:45
“I think this side has more sun.”
“Yes Master.”
“No...No...this side. That side is too lumpy.”
“Yes Master.”
“Hold on...The battle is likely to spend more time in the afternoon, so it would be better over here.”
“...Yes Master.”
“Perfect. Now, that pitcher of lemonade?”
“Here Master.”
“Humm...That’s good. This is good.”
“Thank you master.”
“Hmm...I could do with some Chocolate too.”
“Master?”
“Humm? Yes General, how can I help you?”
“I do not intend to question your intentions…”
“But you’re going to anyway?”
“Ahh...Why are you here master?”
“It’s a nice sunny spot with a view of the battlefield. I mean, if I get my binoculars out I could probably see Princess Twilight Sparkle's expression from here.”
“Er...no, I mean surely you wish to lay waste to your enemies?”
“I fully intend to. That’s what the army is for.”
“You don’t wish to do it yourself?”
“I’ll be getting a good number of kills myself. I have the targeting array for the superweapon right here.”
“But surely you wish to taste blood with your blade? See the light fade from the eyes of your enemies!?”
“Surely one would taste with their tongues, not their blades?”
“I don’t understand you sometimes Master.”
“An Evil Megalomaniac needs to maintain an air of mystery.”
“I’ll take your word for it master.”
“Ferrero Rocher?”
“No thank you Master. I’m allergic to Hazelnuts.”
Overlord Rule No:39 If I absolutely must ride into battle, I will certainly not ride at the forefront of my Legions of Terror, nor will I seek out my opposite number among his army.
A very valid point. Not much point in overlording if you're dead.
Although heroes are expected to ride at the front for inspiration, being evil fear is a much better motivator.
Smart overlord is smart.
7103279
Always make sure what is behind your army is scarier than what is in front of it.
Though most effective overlords would ensure they never need to ride into battle in the first place. Aren't there safer ways to supervise?
7103365 Robot clone that you control via remote, robotic minion that you control via remote, and numerous other via remote stuff.
7103465
Soo basically Doctor Doom "Doombots"?
The only time you should ever go into battle at the forefront, is if you are a God or a godlike being. Immortal, invincible, no known weaknesses etc.
This one is just pure logic. I mean, Xiahou Dun lost his eye the same way, so of course staying behind your army is the better choice.
7103365 Observation satellite/doomsday cannon, observe, and win, the battle from the comfort of your couch.
7103465 And if someone jams, or worse overrides, your remote control you no longer have an army. Being dependent on remote controlled forces is a good way to end up without them or them turn against you when you most need them.
7103658 Especially if they have some form of AI.
So, Hazlenuts. I think I see rule 221 over there in the distance...
7103525
Yeah, and you know what he did with that eye? He freakin ate it!!
Should have kept that to yourself, Mr. Overlord, Sir.
Edit: Scratch that statement, I misread this terribly.
Translation: If you're honestly unable to recognize common sense then I'm not going to bother explaining it to you.
7103522 Even then, that's just begging for the heroes to find some way to neutralize you.
7103754 the minion is the one allergic to them.
7103839 As a god it's called, "you have to throw me in mount doom, after being eaten alive by a giant basilisk, when I was soaked in the blood of twenty-two virgins, where I was previously tied up in gold chains quenched in the blood of a demon god offspring," that is how gods die. They're not invincible, just unrealistically hard to kill.
I think this is one of the more hilarious chapters. Looking forward to more.
Keep up the good work. Deus tecum.
7104008 that's right, only the Endless cannot be killed... Wait, I mean only the Endless of Death cannot be killed. She kind of commits suicide.
7103913
My mistake, I read this tired.
Thanks for pointing that out, I wondered why the Overlord would suddenly be so clumsy.
7104405 To be perfectly fair, that rule applies to important underlings as well. After all, while the general might not be as important as the overlord, assassinating him would still be a significant blow to the overlord's command structure.
7104710 Which is why I have redundant, secret generals, ready at a moment's notice.
7104405 Or it could be a fake weakness that everyone is required to devise and act upon at all times. That way, when the heroes get their intel on weaknesses, it's incorrect. A general who acts with a weakness to mirrors could be shown a mirror with the heroes thinking that would work, but then he just comments on how a shave would do some good at the moment.
7103525
Unless your rear flank gets routed. Thine ass would be grass if that should come to pass.
7109107
Of course, you can probably see your army getting flanked from the vantage you've picked out, allowing you to issue retreat orders and bug out yourself.
7103279
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