Domination of Equestria - T+49 days.
This was stupid.
Really, really stupid.
I mean, I’ve heard of hazing rituals, but this just took the celestial cake.
It had started that morning when I arrived to pick up my papers for the first day on the job.
“Let's see, Pegasus, messy computer terminal for a cutie mark...Miss Dusty Breeze?”
“That’s me!”
“You’re expected. Here are your papers and your access pass. Do I need to explain what will happen if you lose that pass?”
“You’ll tear my wings off?”
“Oh good. You have read the prep manual already.”
Oh Celestia I was joking!
“It’ll say on the bottom of your papers there where you’re going.”
“Ok, thank you.”
Now, where is it I’m supposed to go? He said the bottom of my papers. Let’s see here…
“Sewage overflow!?”
“Hahahahaa! You must be new here.”
“Oh, um, yes, but there seems to be some mistake, I’m supposed to be the new computer analyst, why would I be assigned to sewage?”
“Hehehe, must have pissed someone off. Here, we keep some rain coats in the cupboard here. You can borrow one.”
“A raincoat!? What happens in there?”
“Let’s just say Discord would be proud of the ‘Chocolate Rain’.”
I think I’d nearly passed out right around then.
Well, here I am, Sewage Overflow Containment Chamber.
Yuck.
At least I’d met some kind ponies on the way.
Along with my coat, I now have a bucket, an extra large splash hat, and thick boots.
Hurrrnnngggg. I was looking forward to doing computer analytics too! This isn’t fair!
This isn’t what I signed up for!
Oh well, I can’t afford to back out now. I need the work. Any work I guess.
Even if it is dealing with…..ewwww…
Ok, breath in...breath out. Let’s go!
“Ah, you must be Dusty Breeze.”
“I...um...Yes Sir!”
“Good attitude. I need to ask though, why are you dressed like that? Computer Analytics is a rather dry, and dare I say it, dusty post.”
Wait what?
This is….It’s huge! And all the terminals, and...do I smell mint?
“This...isn’t Sewage Containment?”
“No, you’re in the right place, but here Sewage is a pseudonym for important information.
In other words, welcome to the Master Control room.”
wat.
“Never follow any signs to the control room though. That should be in your pack somewhere. Very important to keep in mind in your first few days. Now, why don’t you take off your coat?”
Overlord Rule No:65 If I must have computer systems with publically available terminals, the maps they display of my complex will have a room clearly marked as the Main Control Room. That room will be the Execution Chamber. The actual main control room will be marked as Sewage Overflow Containment.
That was just in bad taste.
()
It really does feel like this guy is wrapping himself up in all his rules. It's probably gonna end up like Tyler Durden in Fight Club.
Well, I hope so anyway.
Making key aspects of your facilities have deceiving names it's the same principle as using a big red button as a tramp for whoever is looking for the self-destruction mechanism.
It helps to hinder your enemies in getting the information required for defeating you and ideally lead them to their own demise.
It's important to remember that information could still be attained even when it's well hidden, so this precaution it's not infallible and will only help at best.
~Leonzilla
PS: Pretty funny chapter.
6504717 Yup, he is following the letter of the rules rather than the spirit of them, which might still work unless the rebels smarten up, but also adds a strong pressure on the rebels to smarten up and learn to exploit his rule bound nature.
For example the fact that "Sewage Overflow Containment" is actually the master control room being common knowledge among the guards and personnel negates the utility of the deception if the rebels do even basic intelligence gathering prior to infiltrating the Overlord's stronghold.
You know, with rules like these, it's very difficult to remember them all by heart.
6504868 which is exactly why you should printed them all out and carry with you in case of some ROB accidentally displacing you in a different reality. pamphlet should also contains how to make steel, gunpowder and crossbows, how to establish a bank and/or company, how crop rotation works, how to identify minerals in the soil and what group of crops flourishes in what, how feudalism evolved in europe, efficient swords and armor, several fantasy magic theories, a runic alphabet, basic ship building, advanced ship building and finally a few porn images of your preference.
6504868 It's like Agent Gibbs' rules, you're expected to remember them on the job.
Ok, thankyou
Ok, breath in...breath out
1. Forgot your spacing.
2. Breathe x2
6504780 There's also the problem that the sewer management could be one possible target for saboteurs looking to cause a distraction while another team goes for the vital systems. Someone could follow the signs to Sewage Overflow expecting to use the plumbing to draw security's attention and end up finding their real goal.
Even worse, going by his notes on the rule it sounds like there might be a pattern to the signs based on an ironic sense of humor. Twilight could easily learn that pattern and use it to her advantage, especially if he has a similar system in place in his other buildings. Have to say, I get the feeling that the Overlord really screwed up here in focusing too much on what the rules say and not what they're supposed to mean.
6504975 i see someone's a jingles fan
Oh, this confused me a lot, I thought there were two ponies named Dusty Breeze that got mistaken for each other.
Greenland and Iceland. I like it.
>> BeneathTheShade
Good point, Thats why you have redundancies:
90. I will not design my Main Control Room so that every workstation is facing away from the door.
96. My door mechanisms will be designed so that blasting the control panel on the outside seals the door and blasting the control panel on the inside opens the door, not vice versa.
227. My doomsday devices will not have a lengthy charge-up time, and will have a countdown timer just for show. They will be ready to use as soon as the hero waltzes into my control room. In addition, the conspicuous "off" button will activate the device immediately.
1143. If I have multiple fortresses, the layout will be similar but not identical. This way, any hero who remembers the layout of a different fortress will walk into what he thinks is the main control room, only to find himself in the execution chamber. If I have more than two fortresses, this will also tell me which one he has already stumbled into.