Rule 58
Domination of Equestria - T-15 days.
The Battle For Ponyville: 14:34
This is a disaster.
Damnit, bastards, all of them! This was supposed to be my crowning moment, their big crushing defeat, and now here I am running for my life as giant rocks fall from the sky and flaming pitch rains from the clouds themselves.
It had been the perfect set up, they were all clustered together for the perfect strike, and it didn’t work!
Nothing worked!
I bet it’s all that bitch Twilight Sparkle’s fault.
She couldn’t have found the artefact, she just couldn’t! I had it here, in my pocket the whole damn time!
Shink.
Another Pegasus Guard. Blades seemed to be the only thing that still worked on this hell hole of a battlefield.
No, this was a slaughter, but of the wrong side!
Damnit,
Damnit!
Damnit!
Is that the western flank crumbling over there? Shit! I told them to pull back an hour ago. If whoever was in charge of that platoon lived through this I am definitely going to have to correct that mistake.
Hah! That was a good thrust if I say so myself. Is that his pancreas on the end of my sword? There's a joke in here somewhere.
Fuck it, no time. Running first, jokes about cuteness and diabetes later. I'm so close now anyway.
Finally, the Everfree! Nearly home free. Only a few hundred yards to my fortified encampment. It had formerly been my ‘impenetrable fortress’, but today was a day for many reevaluations.
Round this tree here, over the lake of fire...
Wait, I didn’t have a lake of fire installed. They were terribly impractical, and cost an arm and a leg to fuel.
“Heck yea, I’ve got you now!”
What!? Who- Shit! One of the Elements of Harmony, fuck fuck fuck.
Why did it have to be the lesbian one too?
“You’re mine now you snake!”
“I take offence to that. Just because I’m evil doesn’t mean I have an affinity for snakes.”
“Just because I’m about to kick your flank doesn't mean I have a wajamicallit for fancy words.”
Gods damn she’s fast! Parry, parry PARRY!
Clang.
Clang.
Clang.
“Comeon! Stop blocking and fight me like a mare!”
“Sod that for a laugh! Also I’m not a mare!”
Fighting next to a river of fire, I swear there’s a rule about this somewhere!
Duck,
Dodge!
PARRY!
She’s too damn fast! At this rate, I’m going to-
Fuck.
Well, this is another reason why I didn’t have a river of fire installed, it’s all too easy to fall in yourself. Good thing someone forgot this rocky outcropping.
Bad thing that Lesbian Nightmare can fly.
“Well, aren’t you in a bit screwed.”
Curse you, curse your family, and everyone you love.
“Yes, I do seem to be in a bit of a tight spot. Isn’t this the part where you taunt me before kicking me into the fire below?”
“Nah. Twilight and the Princesses want you back alive.”
“That sounds like suspiciously poor judgement. I wouldn’t offer the same mercy myself you know.”
“Yea, but that’s just one more reason we’re better than you.”
“If you say so.”
She’s surprisingly strong, she can lift me like a sack of potatoes. I am so glad I didn’t take one of those hooves to the face. Or lower.
“Right, you going to come with me quietly Mr ‘Supreme Overlord’, or am I going to have to knock a filly out?”
“You’ll live to regret this you know.”
“I doubt it. I’ve never regretted anything my life!”
“There’s always time for that to change.”
“Master!”
“We’re here Master!”
“What took you dolts so long!”
“Horseapples! Come on you dork, we’re going!”
“Like Hell I am! You can go, fuck yourself!”
“Stop struggling!”
“Master! Get off him now! I’ll run you through enough times ponies will be questioning which hole’s your mouth and which is your arse hole!”
“Don’t taunt her you idiot, stab her!”
“Yea, buck this, I’m outa here!”
Gods fucking damnit!
“Master! Are you injured!”
“No, let’s go, we’re not safe yet. Everyone on the whole battlefield will have seen space pony here delivering the rainbows.”
“As you command!”
Overlord Rule No:58 If it becomes necessary to escape, I will never stop to pose dramatically and toss off a one-liner.
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Hmm... kinda think this one failed to really showcase the rule. Like, it was there, I guess, just kind of... not very? I'unno.
That was fun, may I have another? Looking forward to more.
Keep up the good work. Deus tecum.
6497980
I interpreted that rule as "Don't kill a random redshirt for the failures of a commander. It brings down morale," as opposed to "Shoot the commander for his failures, not a random redshirt."
Not shooting the redshirt doesn't necessarily imply shooting the commander. You could transfer/demote the commander to a less critical part of your operations, or a place that will make him want to get transferred out of the mind-numbing position where he winds up.
6498510 Repeat after me, Evil Overlord. If he didn't kill him the other generals would be questioning his evilness.
6498521
If they're questioning his evilness then he should just kill a random underling because commanders of any kind are too valuable to lose, even if they just screwed up. Better yet, he can walk up to some random prisoners and kill them fun of it. Killing helpless prisoners is almost as evil as killing helpless civilians but far more evil than killing your own guys, killing your own guys is just stupid.
An unpleasant story that is not particularly humorous
6498568 Which do you think is more valuable, an underling who follows orders or a general who doesn't?
Bwa ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
No way! Your cover art for the story! I've just been watching Jim Sterling's videos on YouTube and I saw that picture in one of his videos as he was talking about how god awful shitty Konami has become!
I just pop over here and I see that image in the featured section! I'm not trying to be horrible or rude when I say I'm not gonna read this story - I'm sure it's good but it doesn't seem to be one that suits my taste - but just for that image you've got after I've been watching Jim Sterling, I'll give you a Like at least. Oh, what else is gonna pop up tonight? Well done, author! Well done indeed!
6498675 Shamone, Scarheart!
6498655
Well an underling can be replaced pretty easily, a general can't. If the general is disobeying orders to the point of treason then you should kill him, otherwise it is far more efficient to discipline him and reestablish who's in charge.
AH, YOU SNEAKY BUGGER! You're adding in previous chapters out of order!
When all else fails, for better or for worse, the villain will usually have the upper hand when it comes to ethics in battle.
Still having to rely on that it's as good as a Diabolus ex machina. Not very nice. If he had to rely on that at any point to win then for skillful as he might be from this point forward it's been stabilized that he is infact not perfect.
6498655 I say under a certain point of view it's either one. The underlying can be more valuble in a way since the Comander in this instance made a mistake that cost the lives of many many underlings making him into a liability in a way his value could be viewed to be a negative number.
I do not agree with this view of course as a devoted yet incompetent commander could still be an upstanding solider if demoted.
~Leonzilla
That one chaptr was a bit confusing to read. The later parts, its like there's context missing (or i just don't get it).
Rules 72, 83, 85, 88, 89, 91, and 95, please.
If you're going to the Cell Blocks, also do Rules 106, 112, 114, 117, 127, 129, 139, 148, 156, 162, 166, 168, 194, 204, 205, 213, 216, and 220.
Awaiting further chapters, as clearly you have preplanned the whole timeline.
Feel free to skip various rules.
You know, some really good overlords would never get into these situations in the first place.
Eh, it's comedy. What'cha gonna do?
6498824 True but were not talking about incompetence, we are talking about insubordination. Not knowing how you do your job can be theoreticaly rectified, not wanting to follow orders can't, at least not as easily.
6498761 True but you can promote a loyal soldier to general. Besides, it seems that the only real job that the Generals have is to follow and relay the Overlord's orders, don't need too much skill for that. Besides, you can put them in charge of low risk/low priority missions as on the job training.
6499018
Troops who follow their leader in disobeying orders probably don't know what the real orders are. You say that like all soldiers only follow their immediate commanders because he's inspiring. Well, they don't. They follow him because he's their immediate commander and that's what they're meant to do.
The point of not killing but punishing harshly a commander who disobeys an order is that they get the message that they did something wrong and are unlikely to make that mistake again, so killing them is unnecessary and inefficient.
On the other hand, if a commander disobeys an order or screws up in some way and knows that the punishment is death, he will think along the lines of "if I go back to the Overlord I'll be executed, but if I defect then I'll be welcomed as a hero! I've got nothing to lose now because if I go back to my own side I'll die anyway. Other guys, here I come!"
In other words, this works in the exact opposite way you describe it.
That's what happened to Benedict Arnold.
Don't forget, the soldiers posted there have little authority to listen to besides their local commander so they're more likely to defect with him if he decides to.
Guess Rule 68 comes into effect now, too.
Rainbow gets an extra life.
Wow. Nice going, Rainbow. You could have literally saved your country RIGHT THERE. And you blew it harder than than a hurricane.
lmfao
6497692 Yeah, this one is more the "If the hero is pulling me up from falling off a cliff, don't try to take them with me" rule, I forget which one that is.
At this point (rule 58) I say: he's evil. This calls for extermination squad! In implementing the 58 rules he's proven to be a monster. But now his very existence is dangerous! Ponies could (and will) get hurt! And that's sad!
Methinks, Rainbow'll take offence in particular...
We can't wait for the Daleks to show up!
Also can't wait for someone to speak up on behalf of every mare in Equestria and beyond. To think Rainbow would!.. Humph
!..
There is still hope they are not doomed
...