Domination of Equestria - T+42 days.
“Next!”
Who knew complying with the new licensing regulations would be such a problem?
I mean, yea, reductions in the rates on alcohol are great. Longer opening hours? Fantastic! But this one? This one just made no sense. He’d had to fire over half his workforce or be found in breach. It was just so, nonsensical.
“Miss...Milky Way?”
“That’s me!”
Bubbly and friendly. Already looking poor. Another bust.
“Why do you think you would be good fit for the Hole In The Wall Bar and Hotel Miss Way?”
“Well, I really like seeing ponies smile, and I find the service industry is the best place for that. The nice smile that comes with good service always brightens my day.”
Oh god, normally that would be perfect in a candidate. Oh great Overlord in Canterlot, he both giveth and taketh away.
“That’s...normally a good attitude. Unfortunately we’re not looking for...cheerful at the moment.”
“Oh...I’d heard about that. So that...wasn’t a rumour huh?”
“I’m afraid not. Licensing regulations are now very strict about demeanor with the customers.”
“Ok. Ok...umm...Well, I can do brusque. Ahem, ‘Hey you, stop eyeing up my teats! My eyes are over here!’”
That was actually surprisingly good.
“Have you practiced that Miss Way?”
“Erm, in a way. I actually have to say that a lot.”
“You do? Why would- Oh...I see. Those are… well.”
“Yea, it’s often quite a problem in public.”
“I’m terribly sorry Miss Way, but, there’s actually more to the regulations than just required attitude. I’m afraid I have to ask you what your teat size is?”
“Really!? What? Why?”
“I’m legally not allowed to employ someone who requires a cup. I mean, I can see that you’re wearing one now, but some do as a fashion choice or because they’re suckling newborns and they’ve become sore. If you need them constantly for the support then I’m afraid that’s going to make you unemployable in the food and drinks sector.”
“What!? Really!? No! What am I going to do!?”
“Calm down Miss Way, please. Now that I think about it, the regulations only apply to front of house staff. Would a position as a mixer in the room service bar suit you? You’d never be allowed to meet customers or we’d lose our license, but it says here on your CV that you know some mixology?”
“Sniff, sure. Sounds good…”
Overlord Rule No:31 All naive, busty tavern wenches in my realm will be replaced with surly, world-weary waitresses who will provide no unexpected reinforcement and/or romantic subplot for the hero or his sidekick.
Considering how daily life in Equestria is heavily influenced by the The Narrative Principles, this is a sensible measure.
How often does that happen anyway? I have rarely seen a waitress being important in an adevnture story. Normally it's always a maid that helps the hero out.
6514798 Say that to the ninja maid at the tavern in the pathfinder game Ive been apart of for the last couple if months.... still regretting not asking her to join our group...
I think the word you wanted was brusque.
6514798 Not often enough. I wasn't even aware of this trope.
Seems rather silly tho, think that a waitress providing reinforcement and/or romantic subplot would hinder the hero and/or his sidekicks in any way.
I mean I can see it happening from a mile away in fiction; but in reality that kind of meeting and timing seems like something unlikely to say the least.
It has to happen just right.
Does any hero ever go into a tavern or club of some sorts with the idea to get a maid or waitress of the sorts to give him information among other things?
...well, maybe if you are James Bond, but he is designed to be overly cool and win in end while staying classy.
So he doesn't count.
~Leonzilla
6515038 yes, it's not actually a very common trope, but being a genre-savvy villain means eliminating every possible trope that could be used to defeat you, whether it's common or not.
6514798 Tika in the Dragonlance trilogy.
God I'm old...
6515408 1999 I still know Tika
Tika Weylan
Tasslehoff Burfoot
Raistlan
Raistlan's Brother
The barbarian princess cleric
princesses guardian and lover
the half elf
half elf's princess half-sister
the dwarf
the Somalan knight
Fistaban
There were more, I think, and I don't remember half their names. I'm going off the top of my head. So again not too old. Though D&D, Pathfinder, MtG, excessive reading, and other things. All that probably helps.
Someone, somewhere just lost their job after reading this chapter.
Not seeing the point of this one, isn't any distraction to the hero welcome?
"I mean, come on, why are you even fighting me in the first place? I've got not beef with you, and you have that to go home to, do you really want to risk your life for a change in government that probably won't even noticeably affect you anyway?"
At least, that's how I see it. Create a more pleasant alternative, and leave that as the only rational choice. Gets rid of all but the most die-hard fanatics.
Some people find cynicism attractive.
40.media.tumblr.com/306a0db20a9a7d78707b88376201f584/tumblr_mshbunRavm1rhcknwo1_1280.png
EDIT: Remember, boys and girls! FLAT IS JUSTICE! [Please imagine me going from cutesy to hardcore metal as I say this.]
6516195
Hero: "You really don't remember...! You burned my town to the ground, killed my mentor, and kicked a puppy!"
Overlord: "Ohh, you're that kid. See, for me, that was just a Tuesday."
7552286
A classic example of Arson, Muder, and Jaywalking.
To be hones this rule both sad and quite inefficient. It closes a common hole and opens uncommon one... which is kinda worse.