//------------------------------//
// Rule 31 
// Story: Chronicles of an Evil Overlord 
// by Melancholy 
//------------------------------//

Domination of Equestria - T+42 days.

“Next!”
Who knew complying with the new licensing regulations would be such a problem?
I mean, yea, reductions in the rates on alcohol are great. Longer opening hours? Fantastic! But this one? This one just made no sense. He’d had to fire over half his workforce or be found in breach. It was just so, nonsensical. 

“Miss...Milky Way?”
“That’s me!”

Bubbly and friendly. Already looking poor. Another bust.

“Why do you think you would be good fit for the Hole In The Wall Bar and Hotel Miss Way?”
“Well, I really like seeing ponies smile, and I find the service industry is the best place for that. The nice smile that comes with good service always brightens my day.”

Oh god, normally that would be perfect in a candidate. Oh great Overlord in Canterlot, he both giveth and taketh away.

“That’s...normally a good attitude. Unfortunately we’re not looking for...cheerful at the moment.”
“Oh...I’d heard about that. So that...wasn’t a rumour huh?”

“I’m afraid not. Licensing regulations are now very strict about demeanor with the customers.”
“Ok. Ok...umm...Well, I can do brusque. Ahem, ‘Hey you, stop eyeing up my teats! My eyes are over here!’”

That was actually surprisingly good.

“Have you practiced that Miss Way?”
“Erm, in a way. I actually have to say that a lot.”

“You do? Why would- Oh...I see. Those are… well.”
“Yea, it’s often quite a problem in public.”

“I’m terribly sorry Miss Way, but, there’s actually more to the regulations than just required attitude. I’m afraid I have to ask you what your teat size is?”
“Really!? What? Why?”

“I’m legally not allowed to employ someone who requires a cup. I mean, I can see that you’re wearing one now, but some do as a fashion choice or because they’re suckling newborns and they’ve become sore. If you need them constantly for the support then I’m afraid that’s going to make you unemployable in the food and drinks sector.”
“What!? Really!? No! What am I going to do!?”

“Calm down Miss Way, please. Now that I think about it, the regulations only apply to front of house staff. Would a position as a mixer in the room service bar suit you? You’d never be allowed to meet customers or we’d lose our license, but it says here on your CV that you know some mixology?”
“Sniff, sure. Sounds good…”

Overlord Rule No:31 All naive, busty tavern wenches in my realm will be replaced with surly, world-weary waitresses who will provide no unexpected reinforcement and/or romantic subplot for the hero or his sidekick.