Zephyrus Scary
Joined 22nd Jan, 2012 ·
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the human in this story acts so dumb, he might as well be non-sapient. his complete incompetency in dealing with his situation actually makes this a little frustrating to read at parts. a bit more explanation as to how humans are viewed as simple pets considering they can talk would help smooth things, as well as perhaps playing up the pony supremacy vibe throughout the story, considering they seem to be the apex predators of the land. you clearly have a knack for technical storytelling otherwise though, so keep it up
8296994
Oh? I'm not sure what you think he could have done, considering he's restricted and controlled by the collar the entire time, and subject to abuse and humiliation from the word go. Couple that with the fact the ponies refuse to see him for what he is, and he basically has a cow's chance in a slaughterhouse of survival. Speaking of...
I meant to show through Bon Bon's and Rainbow's reactions that ponies don't typically see the MC's behavior as normal or expected of humans. That is, ponies more don't know humans are sapient rather than that their sapience is disregarded. I suppose I could have done this a bit better, but the focus is obviously more on the fetish than the worldbuilding.
Thanks!
The human parts were way less interesting than the chaos near the end. Would've liked it more if it was stated that Gilda ate Bon Bon before Pinkie ate Gilda, tho.
Uh-huh, how did I know that Hamster would be here?
9242814
Lucky guess I suppose, or just obvious! But bro, mass deleting comments, even though they're negative, and even though we all know Hamster's a dick, this will sadly only make your stories age badly. Take it from someone who knows! This is the best advice I could give.
9242818
And i'm also willing to bet that he placed all of your stories into those bad groups without your permission, am I right? If So, and I do believe I am, that definitely sounds like something Hammy would do!
9242821
LOL, "bad groups". Just enclaves of wan'na be trolls. I'd bet was a troll before most of those fools were born!
-And I'll tell you what I told Hamster in PMs: If people can't handle seeing deleted comments, that's on them and their presumptions. Can't please the whole world, so I'm not gon'na try, so while I'm at it, I might as well also not deal with kink-shammers and other bullies.
9242853
Well Hammy's on my general list of people to avoid group for a reason, just so you know!
WOW
10/10 I loved it. It was heartpounding, and that fight scene was lovely. For the longest time I thought Celestia would trip up or make some mistake, but you made her the victor in a tense manner that had me guessing until the very end. I would have preferred some more focus on the digestion, but I also love the story with the bartender getting arrested at the end. The way you wrote the characters was 100% accurate to how I picture them. In fact, if you wanted to continue this universe, be my guest.
9299502
Damn! Thank you for such high praise!
Especially for the fight scene. In your story, I loved how the fight built up to the vore, so I put a lot of focus on emulating that here. As for the digestion, I already thought about that myself, but I just couldn't figure out how to fit it in that last scene without disrupting the interactions with Crude Point and the bartender...
Finally, thanks for the invitation to continue the 'verse, but I don't think I will. I've already got way too many other ideas!
Great story.
On the couch I thought for a moment celestia would force feed pharynx to thorax XD
But the tongue knot was great too.
Looking forward to seeing another chapter with Crude Point getting a reward ;3
Interesting, you actually considered the implications of the green ribbon likely luring many unsuspecting victims to their doom and gave Celestia the wit to figure out that this was a violation of the supposed 'consent'.
Vore with some rational thought pleases me.
This was... interesting to read. It had plot and good story, though, me not being into this stuff, It was also a little uncomfortable.
Other than that, I have no words.