Liquid Courage

Journeyman

Journeyman #1 · Aug 26th, 2015 · 1 · · And the Booze Will Flow Like A River ·

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No comments yet, but all those favs?

Don't worry; I won't judge.

Frizzy

Frizzy #2 · Aug 26th, 2015 · · · And the Booze Will Flow Like A River ·

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Can you add something to the description saying that this is science fiction? This is... not what I thought it'd be.

AmicusBestia

AmicusBestia #3 · Aug 26th, 2015 · 1 · · And the Booze Will Flow Like A River ·

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6360008 I lol'd at the stealthsex tag

Yumberduddle

Yumberduddle #4 · Aug 31st, 2015 · · · And the Booze Will Flow Like A River ·

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human x pony story written for women, for once? with applejack? NICE

aCB

aCB #5 · Sep 21st, 2015 · 1 · 1 · And the Booze Will Flow Like A River ·

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This story had way too much setting for how long it is. If the focus of this was supposed to be sci-fi, it should have been longer. If the clop was all that mattered, then Sophia should have just been on equestria by the standard magic-or-some-shit-whatever plot point. I don't get to enjoy that much woman x mare (as there's so little of it), so I can't complain too much.

Journeyman

Journeyman #6 · Sep 21st, 2015 · 1 · 1 · And the Booze Will Flow Like A River ·

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6446491
Not even a fifth of the chapter is setting bate. Them screwing dominates over three quarters of the chapter itself. What you're looking for is the antithesis of what I want: standard claptrap that's boring and not fun to read. I wanted a little effort to be put into the mood and the setting in order to give Sophia a little bit of a personality. If I just partitioned words to a story by some arbitrary judgement on what is or is not important, then everytime I write a clop it'd just be boring sex every single time.

When sex happens is every bit as important as why it happens, even if it's something as simple as getting shitfaced. Them boning right off the bat isn't what I'm looking for, or some arbitrary reason to ship a human girl to Equestria. I suggest you avoid further claptrap of mine because I'm not going to do that.

aCB

aCB #7 · Sep 22nd, 2015 · 1 · 1 · And the Booze Will Flow Like A River ·

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6447094

Not even a fifth of the chapter is setting bate.

That was my criticism. There's not enough of it to justify it. If this were a longer story, then the entire scenario would be interesting rather than off-putting. In a quick 5K word clop story, those brief asides about the wheres and hows only distract from the plot. If the plot was supposed to be this sci-fi epic, which I would have been completely for, then it should have been expressed more organically. I'm saying that you should have picked either a quick clop story with minimal backstory, or gone full out. The middle of the road approach didn't work.

Journeyman

Journeyman #8 · Sep 22nd, 2015 · 1 · 1 · And the Booze Will Flow Like A River ·

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6449722

That was my criticism. There's not enough of it to justify it.

Uh, no it wasn't.

This story had way too much setting for how long it is.

That's a complete 180. Forgive me, but I believe you're just nitpicking for the sake of nitpicking. I still don't believe your argument holds water.

Traditionally plot is just the purpose of the story. The sole purpose of this was porn. I didn't want anything more than that. I spent a quick 1k to describe the setting, and then another 1k maneuvering them both into a sexual scenario. The rest is porn. This was never meant to be a sprawling cyberpunk sci-fi story of any kind. It's just a sci fi setting, which I quickly got out of the way for the plot to start.

I couldn't make it any shorter without dulling either as a character. I needed to explain their mindsets and get them drunk. Just skipping that first 1k wouldn't have done this chapter or this story any favors because it'd just throw readers into a scenario without any context, which is the antithesis of good storytelling. I wanted something short, and so I made it short. I even gave what amounted to several hours of drinking a transition amounting to a single line of dialogue. If you don't like the setting, that's a whole nother can of worms and one I'm not going to argue about; people have their preferences, but you're arguing that the shortness isn't short enough. This was as minimal as you can get without replacing the characters involved with blow up dolls.

Again, I'm not changing anything. There is no possible way to make this any shorter.

aCB

aCB #9 · Sep 22nd, 2015 · 1 · 1 · And the Booze Will Flow Like A River ·

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6449752
Whatever dude. I told you my thoughts, and if you don't want to hear them, I'm not going to argue about it.

Muffin Derper

Muffin Derper #10 · Sep 25th, 2015 · 1 · 1 · And the Booze Will Flow Like A River ·

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6449752 I don't understand why people bitch about settings in a clopfic. Its porn. you get a sense of what world your in, the mood of the characters and a situation to get them to have sex. If you want a more detailed story stop reading clop. Its that simple. Honestly at least this had a back story that cared to explain why AJ was where she was instead of "Your radomly were teleported here and now stuck." that you see again and again with HumanXPony. Im not bitching at this fact, I love you took extra time with it. With that said I loved it, like I always do with your storys.