- Member Since 5th Sep, 2014
- offline last seen April 17th
Hunter Knight
Just someone whose creativity switches from On to Off, but it's actually unplugged right now too.
Hunter Knight
Joined 5th Sep, 2014 ·
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Is he a Marine or a solider? Those words don't mean the same things.
UAV Drone
Redundant
Not really sure what the deal was with sacrificing himself. One guy in the squad got hit and apparently nobody else could shoot back? The situation just didn't seem serious enough.
Wait, if this takes place before Nightmare Moon's return, why did the Elements of Harmony come up? Do Celestia and the nobles know ahead of time who will eventually get them?
8476790
1: He stayed behind so he could make sure the Warbird could take off in the first place, He knew if they all left then one of the Insurrectionists would hit their extraction.
2: I noticed that before reading this, I already edited it...I am a fucking idiot xD
Edit: Btw, good job with the spoiler tags and Soldier can really relate to all...a Soldier is a person who fights for their country simply, There are different kinds of Soldiers, but no matter what, A Soldier is a Soldier.
Color me interested. I'll watch this.
Great story, here have a like
Aw hell yes just what i wanted bro Lycan amazed me and so did this one
8477087
Hmm, what will technology look like in 50 (or in this case 49) years time. I have a couple ideas though these are obviously my opinion and feel free to disagree.
Likely:
exo skeletons,
HUDs,
foam to fill in wounds (I'm pretty sure this exists right now, though maybe only in testing),
smaller but faster bullets (old 18th century muskets could have calibres of over 0.7 inches, a .50 cal is half an inch for comparison, WW1 and WW2 used .30 cal (7.92 mm) and modern weapons such as the m4 carbine use 5.56 mm ammo. The smaller bullets are used because if they are faster (which in modern guns they are) they can have more penetration, better accuracy, and smaller bullets are cheaper, lighter, and you can carry a lot more of them.)
Maybe:
All/most aircraft are drones (fighters, bombers, helicopters, etc)
Automatic/assisted aiming
Computer showing location of friendly troops
Real time access to satellite footage to get a real time birds eye view of the battlefield.
Cybernetic augmentations.
Drone tanks
Graphene body armour (gram for gram it's over 100 times stronger than steel) or some other type of super material for body armour.
Unlikely (due to maybe being physically very difficult/ impossible):
Cloaking device
Shield system
All robotic troops
Built in AI to soldiers equipment or even themselves (kind of like project freelancer from red vs blue)
Againn these are just my opinion and thought it may be fun to list, probably not too useful for your story since he's not going back to earth but no harm in writing it down right.
8478874
Nice job, but yes, Ethan will not return to earth, but I might pull some things in...also, Hope you did notice the shield in this is like a Riot Shield so not an actual shield system from like Halo or something...I really like what you typed, thanks for some possible ideas!
I have to ask; is english your second language? Your grammar is very good, which is impressive since I've noticed that that's the part that most ESL people trip up on. It's just that here and there you forget to put a word in that should be there, make improper use of capitalization, or accidentally use a different word than you should.
For example; in the part right after they disable the AA guns, Reaper says:
"Just about enough for them to get me if they were on, you see me?" would be the proper way of phrasing this sentence.
Another example would be around the part where they are trying to escape and are being shot at with rocket launchers.
It should be "innies with launchers". The words "rockets" "innies", and "launchers" shouldn't be capitalized either.
I have to stress, your story is pretty good. It's keeping me engaged despite these little mistakes here and there, but there are going to be plenty of people that wont be as forgiving and would rather stop reading because of them. I just wanted to give you a little help and nudge you in the right direction. If you need more help, try asking around for someone to help proofread your story. That should iron out most of the mistakes you might make.
8481523
English is my first language, but I am known to make a couple mistakes here and there, thank you for pointing them out, I use Grammarly to type my stories as well but I don't use the premium membership.
UPDATE: I realized I wrote the first chapter before I got Grammarly, so I looked over it again and fixed many errors, again thank you for telling me. If there are any problems in the 2nd chapter and in future chapters, feel free to let me know.
8476912
Thank you! Also, Big fan of your Division Stories!
8481663 Why, thank you!
I'm pretty sure a few physicists would like to have a word with you about your faster than light bullets.
8493387
The way I see it, it’s not breaking any laws, it’s referencing a higher one that we are unaware of.
Edit: just read the chapter, think he meant faster than Sound
One thing that I've noticed, is that whenever anyone here is listing out branches of the US Armed Forces, they for some reason always neglect to mention the US Coast Guard. I've never really known why.
8493387
I don't know how fast bullets travel, it's just a figure of speech xD
8493824
Coast Guard is apart of the Military but unlike the other branches Coast Guard falls under Homeland Security.
The weapons sound cool and i like the presentation
Also interesting place in the timeline not something im used to reading
Well Done Author
BTW update soon plz
8493932
I will, but know that this is not my only story I am working on, I must give all my stories the attention and from the people who like it. ;)
8493904
The muzzle velocity of the m4 is 2970 ft/s or 910 m/s. Obviously future weapons will have a higher muzzle velocity, I'd guess about 1100-1200 m/s if they still use chemical proppelent. Though I basically pulled that number out of thin air.
However in your story you said your sniper was an energy weapon, I'd assume a rail gun of some kind. If I were to hazard a guess I'd say maybe in the 1500 m/s range. I know the US navy are testing rail guns today with muzzle velocities of about 2500 m/s (7 times the speed of sound) though these are the type of guns designed to go on ships, not an infantry weapon.
Just to give a bit of context the speed of light is about 300,000,000 m/s.
Hope this helps
8494267
Okay I edited the faster than the quote XD
8493907
Unless in Wartime. It may not be under the DoD normally, but that does not make it any less of an armed force.
I could say quite a lot about this story Hunter...But I'm feeling you don't want me to do it)?
Good story, the only two recommendations I could give you are, or is, to (1) Get a professional editor or run this through multiple grammar checkimg websites. (2) Stop using the "..." or ellipses so much. It really makes the story feel repitive and to use ellipses so much is completely unnecessary.
Thanks for reading my recommendations!
8511089
I use Grammarly, not the premium edition so yeah.
also, I do gotta stop with the ellipses but to me. half the time it gives that silence basically. Is it makes it feel like someone is reading it, but I'm trying to basically cut it to when characters speak only, but I can't help myself.
It’s good a little cod Advanced warfare in there but with better weapons
8516610
I kinda had a few things borrowed from there, but the Exo suit in this story is very different, look at the cover art...as well as things I put in which was never really thought of.
Please tell me you borrowed the Goliath armor
8517855
I'm not doing that, again it's not supposed to be advanced warfare really.
Can you do something close to it
8518371
no, I don't want to turn this into a Call of Duty Future clone, because I think some already think that, even if I could Ethan is stuck on Equestria, he couldn't go back.
Okay
read first chapter like it going 2 wait for a few more chapters to come out before i do some heavy reading
Is this story dead?
8759900
Goodness no! Things have just been happening lately, I promise that nothing of mine is dead, life gets in the way however.
JUST SAW THAT DATE ERROR AT THE BEGINNING, I FIXED IT...FUCK YOU BRAIN!
Do not make Ethan be an element bearer. I don't see it being a good idea.
Just saying
8783124
Not happening at all.
8783130
Good.
The New Chapter got it featured...fuck me dude XD
I do not envy Ethan’s position, he has to defend a bunch of ponies from a threat he has no idea how powerful she is or what she can do. And at the same time he will want to try to not harm her (too much anyway) because she’s celestias sister.
He could probably kill her if he wanted to (though that depends on how physically resistant you think alicorns are) but he’s not going to want to do that.
Talk about being stuck between a rock and a hard place.
8783246
Technology vs. Magic, next chapter *devious smile*
Ｓｏｌｄｉｅｒ： Ｆｕｔｕｒｅ ｏｆ Ｄａｒｋｎｅｓｓ ゅゟ ロ
i.imgur.com/qvIiNrQ.gif
8784258
Yep, accurate XD
..ok, time for some constructive criticism first, Hunter Knight buddy your pacing you need to slow down too many things have been happening not enough time has been passing and not enough things have been explained. Two "pet phrases" *and such* has been used in this story by multiple characters multiple times more than I've actually heard said it in real life. Three the character your portraying is a Marine but he does not act like one a marine does not call his Marines soldiers you do not call a marine a soldier because he's not one he's a Marine and his Marines call him sir but he's not an officer his Marines should be calling him staff sergeant because that's his rank.
8794031
One, what is confusing you, I wrote in 7,000 words and I took my time on it...I added some other things so it wouldn't be a full-on retold episode of MLP.
Two, I've...never actually heard that term, I'm a bit confused.
Three, I'm not a Marine myself so thanks for that advice and such, however, I did a time skip to where he has been in Equestria for a few months and has adapted to society and be social again basically, and I try to give the characters some humanity because I felt if I made him a full-on Gruff kind of Marine then some would think It's either boring or people would say he doesn't have enough character or be criticized that he's the stereotypical soldier/marine.
I thought Soldier is basically the simple term...which is why I do use it and not always Marine.
Four, If you have served, thanks btw. If not...I hope what you told me is true and is not your preference...no offense :)
8921704
It will come, I promise, but my other stories need to be updated first.
Great work keep it up