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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Gadget is the best~
Gadget reminds me of Shizuru in Mai Hime and Otome. It's actually kinda squeal worthy that I've found a character like her her in FIMfiction
7051065
I have never seen that anime, but I suppose I shouldn't be surprised. It's nigh-impossible to actually write an original personality for a character these days.
Good chapter. Gadget is a perfect foil for Twilight; someone she can't just control like she always has. And for someone who hates writing dialogue, you do a good job. Shows you put a lot of effort into it, and that is something to respect.
7051091
For how passive and light-hearted she may seem, she's remarkably good at asserting herself.
I honestly do not know what the intended sentence is. Also, this sentence and the sentence directly after both start with "even".
Also, in the space of a single paragraph you come up with about three ways to say the exact same thing, that Gadget doesn't really know the layout of the house. Like, one after the other. There might be variation in the sentence structure, but you functionally say the exact same thing at least three times.
Finally, I was kind of expecting Twilight to whip out her member for proof. I have no idea how that would have constituted proof or a foundation for trust, but part of my brain expected it.
7051173
Yyyeah...can you tell I was feelin' the struggle? Fixed it though, thank you.
As for whipping out her member...I have no idea either. Especially since that's supposed to be a secret.
Then again....
Ok, couple of mistakes:
You say that you hate writing dialogue, but your really good at it. The gods are truly hateful, aren't they?
Maybe Gadgets turn around was a little confusing, Gadget is like: `You're a liar`, then she's like: `Calm down, I'm not trying to piss you off`.
Yes you fucking are Gadget.
Anyway; another good chapter. Looking forward to the inevitable scene where Gadget sees Twilght's dick and just looses her fucking mind.
Edit: Ok, I'm sorry, this comment essentially says the same thing as the two previous comments, so... Fuck. I beg forgiveness.
7051196
Yes, Gadget's an evil bitch like that, and she doesn't even have to try! I love it.
Sheesh, more mistakes? You can tell I was really fighting to get through this chapter. x.x
7051194 Maybe because, like, they're both hermas, so they would... bond over it?
I don't know, I just want them to bone.
7051216
Funny thing is, if this story was less substance and more sex, that probably would've actually happened.
7051216
7051173
You're not alone on that one. Didn't expect sex once the chapter began, but wouldn't've complained.
If I'm honest I forgot that Twilight was in disguise and I was expecting her to entrust Gadget with her secret penis.
>four clips of ammo >Nine rounds per clip
M8 the m1911 uses a 7 round magazine not a 9 round clip just so you know.
7051571
The original, yes. There have been changes and advancements since then. I've seen clips all the way up to ten rounds. I went with nine simply because, if you could manage eight and ten, why not nine?
They didn't have sex! I liked this development more, to be honest, and not just because fetish reasons, this gives their interaction more depth and personality, and I do believe I'm going to like Gadget a lot! assuming she isn't far more clever than she lets on, and is actually planning on backstabbing Twi to get on her boss' good side.
7051858
Indeed they did not! I never intended for them to...for now, maybe.
I am Suddenly getting a black lagoon vibe going here, with ruby red parodying Balalaika (Sofiya Pavlovna) the boss of hotel Moscow
7052594
I have never seen Black Lagoon. Wait, is it even a movie?
7052636 it is an anime/manga, Balalaika is an Ex KGB Officer who outfitted her security with trained soldiers from her old unit after it was disbanded, soldiers who would follow her to hell and back.
Descent job with Russian. A bit weird sometimes, like I would've sometimes expected phrases in Russian, not just single words.
Feel free to ask anything if you have troubles with Russian in the future.
7052879
Well, the inherent problem with phrases is one, I don't know any of particular significance, and two, I don't think anyone with half a brain would ever trust Google Translate to get more than a few words at once translated correctly. Just the limitation of not actually knowing Russian, y'know?
Some would question why I would ever write such a character if I had that limitation, buuuuut...eh!
I'll try to keep your offer in mind though.
7053557
Er...who? Mix n' match?
Hee! It's pretty interesting watching the (re)evolution of my own character, while this time around I don't really play a part in it. This is fun!
7051858
With Gadget, what you see is what you get for the most part. She's not the scheming type like Twilight is.
Also, I like your name. It reminds me of Redwall.
7055761
Doing everything I can to retain her basic personality traits without making her a completely different character! Just kinda cranking a few dials up to ten instead of leaving them at six or seven.
7055767 Yea, Gadget doesn't seem like the type, but I 'saw' her the first time like 2 chapters ago. My name should remind you of Redwall, since that's where it's from
7052912
Smart choice not to use Google translate for whole sentences. You wouldn't believe the shit that it gives out for Russian.
Easy way that would make Gadget really flow is like when she said "I knew my boss is total говнo but...' You could instead replace the but with но. It means the same as but, but it makes the dialogue that much more natural sounding for anyone who understands it.
At least that's how I would say it and I am an avid speaker of two languages (Russian and other) and occasionally I even mix them just like Gadget did.
Nice work, good chapter.
7057495
Well, thank you! Yeah, I wouldn't even trust some kind of Rosetta Stone-esque program to effectively translate English to Russian, let alone the half-assed efforts put into Google Translate.
7057543
Go to these people and ask for help on the Russian bits! Do it!
7055970
Woo! I knew it had to be from there!
7052879
7057495
You and you, help Fire Soul out with the Russian parts! I'll try to get him to contact you guys.
7058214
Yeesh! Someone's hype-boner is at full mast. Sure, alright, I'll talk to 'em!
7099724
And that just shows how much I actually smoke anything! By which I mean, not at all.
As for a cigar cutter, I'll address that later. It's actually a small thing, not very important, but you'll see. Also, why waste magic cutting the cigar when you can just bite the end off?
7099724 Or it could just be that Twilight doesn't really know how to smoke cigars. Just because she is highly capable/intelligent doesn't mean she knows everything.
For instance there is a scene in chapter 13 where Twilight is exercising(No Spoilers), and...
But here is a thing that she didn't know at 23 seconds:
I know they're both technical errors, but that's no fun is it?
He died for our spins.
I don't care what people say, TR-8R bringing a sword to a gun fight was a smart move on his part considering how often lightsabers deflect blasters int he Star Wars universe.
And I am looking forward to Twilight getting absolutely railed by Gadget.
7188851 Gadget is love, Gadget is life.
And the internet is the all knowing source of evil and insanity.
Nagant M1895, the only revolver that can use a silencer due to it's unique gas seal
THE GODESS DEMANDS FOR THE CALENDAR OF THIS WOLRD BE EXPLAINED!!!!!
I love how this, and a colt 1911, are in the same thought
8273973
Yea a Colt 1911 is SO capable to jamming alot XD
The Colt. 1911 is the least likely semi-auto pistol to jam.
Heh, Twilight should've shown Gadget that just because someone's got some padding here and there doesn't mean they don't have muscle.
Not afraid to say I jiggle here and there...but aside from dumbells, none of my lifting weights are under 100 lbs.
For the record, there is ONE silenced revolver, made before the 1911 even. The Nagant.
It’s cylinder pushed up to the barrel when the hammer is pulled back, fixing the problem of suppressing revolvers.
It’s russian made too. Would have been a good fit!