• Member Since 20th Jun, 2015
  • offline last seen Mar 1st, 2019

Starlight Crusadir


5 time published Author J. M. Thayer / A.K.A Starlight Crusadir - Voice over artist

E

What if everything you believed about Twilight Sparkle was actually a lie?

A new revelation to the Equestrian saga... and its ancient prophecies.

Second edition:
Edited by Alicorn Priest

Chapters (5)
Comments ( 24 )

I really enjoyed rereading this story and it makes me wounder if a sequel to this story :twilightsmile:

I want a sequel.

I'm looking at the picture for tis fic and I'm trying to figure out what Luna is holding in her magic.

It's not a scepter (at lest I don't think it is) because it looks to much like a sword. But swords don't look like that, unless it's a keyblade.

Is that a keyblade? Does Luna have a Keyblade?! WHERE THE HELL DID LUNA GET A KEYBLADE?!!

It's ok just make the chapters longer :pinkiehappy:

this definately needs a sequel when Twilight learns the truth.

Don't pointlessly change a character name, especially such a small change the readers mind will want to change it back so annoys and throws them out of the story every time they see it. Celestia and Luna are perfectly good names. If you want to invoke old times do something like Celestia Sunbringer and Luna Moonbearer (I.e give them name or titles).

Luna is Latin of moon. It was originally the name of the roman moon goddess. So it over two thousand years old.
Celestia orgin is as easy to track but it peaked in the 1880s(as far as the naming track) over 130 years ago and dropped off soon after.

Comment posted by Starlight Crusadir deleted Oct 10th, 2015

6510118 The reason why I changed their names is to represent a time in which they were NOT the guardians of the Equestrian Sun and Moon. I didn't want to have compounded names synonymous with this generation's ponies. This was done to try to convey an ancient time.

This story is supposed to reflect an unknown past.

This does not however make ANY strides to try to change the present... only to show an expanded view.

If my commentary of events does not meet up to the same opinions as other writers... I cannot dispute, debate, or deny their relevance. Nor, do I wish to discredit anyone else.

Even in this world, everything of historical significance has more than one retelling, and more than one point of view.

so will we ever see a part 2? it was and is a great story.

Two things one I just want to ask if you are going to post a sequel to this story? Seconed thing is I hope you have a happy new year.:twilightsmile:

There has to be a sequel.

I have read this, and i will be honest: The premise and the idea have great potential. There are well written passages, that show your passion in writing this and showing what the characters feel, but there are others that just feel rushed.
Luna's fall to Nightmare Moon is such a rushed scene - but there is soo much potential in the premise, in the reason for her to fall, potential that you could have built upon.
On other instances I have to question logic: If the enmity is so extremely powerful and evil: Why can a simple door and a bolt hold it back? Why would it simply wait? Just for Starswirl to send Twilight away? And then the suddenly arriving army as Deus Ex Machina - knowing that the army would arrive and that the bolt would hold, I would have just waited instead of casting such an untested spell ...

I believe in your potential and hope that you will reach it, and maybe some of my words will help you.

As it is written:

as it is written so shall it be

Hope to see more

Man, this is really good can't wait for the next chapter.

I have to leave a downvote. I always hate hearing this, so I hate to say it, but this is very, very "telly" and not very "showy" at all. Your prose is also very purple, and I just can't take any more of it.
EDIT: I convinced myself to read the last bit so I finished the story. Your grammar is questionable in a lot of places when you construct complex sentences. I still had an unpleasant time reading this story, so I won't change the downvote, but the premise had quite a bit of potential so keep writing!

Make a sequel nownow

Please make a sequel to this story i'd really like to see what is to become of Twilight and Luna.

9504062
and what was the name of that story be

9505319
Sorry Royal secrets revealed.

Login or register to comment