KO awesome chapter, Fireza is still a pain in the ass to take down and Trixie is with the bad guys, shocked. Hope things will go well for everyone and the timeline.

7554266 Glad you Like it, I'm also glad I managed to Surprise some one with that, because I remember at lest one person guessing Trixie.

I don't feel like binge-reading the whole thing, so I'll read a few chapters each day.

7554348 Could you help me with that?

Technically Trixie was reformed midway through season 3. Her season 5 appearance wasn't even a villain, if anything Twilight ironically was without realizing it til near the end when Trixie brokedown and realized she was being too hard on her unnecessarily. Plus Trixie helped the police in the comics during one of the arcs.

7554551 Comics are Secondary Canon, not made actual canon by the show or Hasbro.

If you seen Princess Trixie Sparkle then you know that it doesn't matter because it's another great Story/animation that does basically the same thing. like I said in the Chapter that this story takes place BEFORE SEASON 5

7555409 Yeah, I know, it get's better in that way later in the Story, I just need to upgrade the Prologue and Training.

7555360 True.

All-righteo, I was cordially invited to spill all of my hatred and vitriol all over this fic, which is what I am going to do, and let the Dark Side help me. Amen.

So.
Long Description
Even as I write this fic, the monsters on the picture glare at me with their horrid little eyes, seemingly thirsting to devour my soul, and the long description does not really help anything.
Half of the description is actually not descriptive of the story, and is about the author instead, that ugly little cliché of "I am a first time writer, and I know I suck, so don't criticize".
Hell naw, beatch. You put up your best work, and now either suck it up or do better.
The rest of it is actually (surprisingly) substantial, but it uses words "Mane Six", numbers written numerically and inconsistent and incorrect capitalization. All three of my favourite pet peeves at once - it's like bingo of laziness and lack of good taste in a single sentence.

Finally, "gore" tag seems to be entirely wasted on this fic. Gore is somebody raping still-warm guts of a living pony through the bullet-wound in her belly, not a broken bone.

I will leave the comment in every chapter of the fic proper as I read them.

7558403
7558406 the gore tag is for later in the Story, When some one loses a arm
you can consider Training as part of the prologue, I need to work on it too, but the other chapters are better.

I'm also plan on changing the Description as well

I'm a new writer so of course my first story sucks, Cliche? what do you think this is? a show? nope! this is real life and sometimes in life Cliché. Plus I never said you couldn't criticize, it's fine as long as you do it right. so far a lot of your criticzing is stuff I'm working on.

the Training Chapter thing is just for little nice scenes, it doesn't matter if it wasn't important.

7558499 you do know they got turned into saiyans, humans and majins right? so their not ponies as of now and I guess I have another chapter to work on anyways.

7558543

Ponies teleport to a pivotal moment in DBZ history, kick ass, cold-blooded-murder some dudes, and disappear back to whatever place they live now without so much as "hello" or "goodbye".

I'm guessing you never played Xenoverse where your Character does Exactly that?

On some other points I'm new writer so of course I'm bad at this at first, if you would actually give me some constructive Criticizism instead of mocking me then I could improve.

7558556

On some other points I'm new writer so of course I'm bad at this at first, if you would actually give me some constructive Criticizism instead of mocking me then I could improve.

Why bother? You don't care. You don't even care enough to use a spell-check, despite like two dozen (at least) comments telling you your grammar is horrid. Nothing I can say can improve your writing, if you don't want to even try.

7558851 Actually I do, my computer gives me the option to spell check and my grammar has improved sense I started this story, please don't make False Assumption.

When it comes to grammar and Character I would like it if you could actually help me with that. the only reason I asked for your opinion is so It could help me learn from my mistakes and so I can know what I'm doing wrong and improve so I don't anger or upset people and instead give them something they like to read and something I like to write.

7558880
There are factual grammar mistakes in the fic. It would take you about twenty minutes to fix them... yet they're not fixed.

7558895 for half a year I had Lost interest in the Story before regaining it, I'm was busy working on two chapters and right now I'm working on rewriting the prologue, it's not that I don't care, it's that I honesty just forgot about them

7554375 Hmmm.... uh, re-writing, maybe? I don't know any of the lore of DBZ, so I'd only be able to patch up all the grammar and such...

7559228 Ok, maybe you could point out where all the Grammar Errors Are so I can Fix them quicker? you don't have to you don't want to.

7559240 Do you have a google doc? I'm dreading the idea of having to pick-and-place 200+ errors in a comment.

7559243 I guess I could try to do that but I'll do it later sense I just started Using it and I'm not fimlair with using it.

anyways how much have you read of the story?

7559276 I've been reading a chapter every day, so I'm currently at "Saiyan Saga: Part 1:A Hulk of a Raditz".

7559276 Also, let me correct the grammatical errors in your reply, just so you know how to spell the words correctly next time.

I guess I could try to do that but I'll do it later sense I just started Using it and I'm not fimlair with using it.
anyways how much have you read of the story?

Change it to:

I guess I could try to do that, but I'll do it later sensesince I just started Usingusing it. and I'm not very fimlairfamiliar with using it.
anywaysAnyways, how much have you read of the story?

7559276 End result:

>> TheMajorTechie I guess I could try to do that but I'll do it later sense I just started Using it and I'm not fimlair with using it. anyways how much have you read of the story?

I guess I could try to do that, but I'll do it later since I just started using it. I'm not familiar with using it. Anyways, how much have you read of the story?

7559287 Thanks

7559332 No probs. I range from mega-troll to helpful bystander depending on what day it is and how sane I feel. For example, yesterday I was kinda down in the dumps because 9/11 and all, so I let it all out with crazy Pinkamena memes in everything I posted.

7559368 Ok.

7559368
7550059
7550345
7551169
7553881
7554551
6703580
7555379
Hey guys! me and my co-writer have completely rewritten the Prologue! check it out!

7558895 if your interested the Prologue has been Completely rewritten

7559880 Ok.

7559905 He is a friend of mine and I don't see how it is only slightly better, it's a lot better than before, at lest to me

7559905

7564076 Don't be Rude.

7564962 You did say criticism was welcome.

7558403 It's easier to play it safe. I'm not sure about reading it due to minor gore.

7580800 He said my Co-writer's Grammar is terrible, that's not Criticism, at lest not Contructive Criticism

7580802 Is the Ripping off of Limbs Minor to you?

Plus you don't have to read it if you don't want to.

7586631 Thanks.

Sorry about the accusations of rudeness, I think I was having a bad day.

7596152 It's ok, I understand.

7596382

This entire story is a moment of badassery for Spike the Dragon and I love it.😂 So beautiful.

Is this gonna be continued? I really hope it does because it is awesome so far!

Keep the story going! But change the picture.