• Member Since 24th Apr, 2013
  • offline last seen October 3rd

PrismShift


T

Plot: A hero of an expedition to lands far away returns a hero on the Canterlot stage. However he may not be as kind as he seems after launching the Elements of Harmony to a distance land. Needing protection and a boat to take them home the ponies quickly learn the wonder and terror of sailing the Grand Line with the rubber human Luffy and his Straw Hat Pirates, freshly united on Sabaody Archipelago.

Chapters (3)
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!
Comments ( 64 )

Any special reason some paragraphs are indented, are some are not?

What? Is Trotter supposed to be Gol D. Roger, or something? No, that can't be right. Oh, well. This'll probably be good, so have a fave.

2501430 As much as it pains me to say it, I did it for my vision. It was getting on my nerves having all the text so close to one side constantly. It was a rough night for me, will be fixing, if it is a problem?

2501433 And thank you for the fave, my very first earned. However I can safely inform you that Trotter is not Gol D. Rodger. What ever lead you to that conclusion?

2501510

It's not a problem, just curious. As for the story itself, not bad. Premise is set, and the characters are sorta established. I do like the flow of the story.

2501510 His name sounds like Roger, he's a captain, an explorer, and he's red. Roger wore a red suit in most of his appearances (flashbacks to his early days excluded), and was the captain of the only ship to map the Grand Line. Of course, I figured that it couldn't be him because "Cloud Hopper" sounds nothing like "Oro Jackson," but it was just a guess.

2501534 Hmm, I never even noticed. Funny, isn't that? I hope to avoid any more mistakes like that if I can.

2501533 Thank you.

2501619 Still, though, great story so far. I noticed that you put it on Fanfic as well. Clever move.

You are a madman. This story is madness. And you know what?

I enjoy madness.

Now there's just one little problem with your story: It's not complete (cappiche?).:moustache:

2504765 you enjoy madness

you are Sparta!!!

I can honestly say I am suprised and happy with all the positive feedback I have received thus far. Chapter Two: Abandonment Issues is a little over fifty percent down, so just hold out a little longer.

I have also been going back and fixing all the minor mistakes I have made each day as I have them pointed out and discover them. That has actually really thrown my production off; however I am convinced I have cleared up most my mistakes.

Keep an eye out for the next entry.

2515192This story... this is fucking amazing.:ajbemused: Finally, another person to take up the mantle to bring us a decent One Piece crossover.

So far, I have high hopes for this. As you said yourself, there are mistakes. But I can help with that. If you want, I could become your pre-reader; just a suggestion, nothing more.

Your concept is good, and even though I may not have seen up to where this story continues in the canon of OP, I can tell that it will be good. (Still in the Thriller Bark saga)

.......:rainbowderp: You are a tactical genius. Half hour after I finish reading chapter one, you bring out chapter two. Please let there be Straw Hat interactions!:raritydespair:

DAMN YOU! Still no Straw Hat interactions.:ajsleepy:

And now that I've seen a chapter before you edited it, I can tell having a pre-reader would benefit you greatly. My previous offer still stands. Also, about having two downvotes- don't let it get to you. Every story has someone who will downvote it because they don't like the topic. Even Past Sins and Echo the Diamond Dog have downvotes.

WHERE ARE THE STRAW HATS?! (or at least Zoro, since he's in the cover image)

Hold the phone!

Is Trotter's entire crew human?

If so, they're clearly not the Straw Hats, so who could they be? UGH!

Wait, arrow-fingers?

Clearly the work of a Devil Fruit, and not Gum-Gum, Chop-Chop, Human-Human, Revive-Revive, or any others that come to mind.

Also, noticed several errors, but I'll only point out this:

"No problem captain. I can send them nice and far away!" the new-thinglaughed.

There should be a comma after "problem," a space after "new-thing," and "Captain" should be capitalized.

2517432 All good things in time. I promise Straw Hats in next chapter and I will deliver. And you are right, that is a completely different fruit. Oh, and about Trotter's crew: what do you think?

2517428 Again, wait. Just until the next chapter anyway. And then the immersion between pony and Straw Hats will be one. And you are right- there are likely plenty of mistakes. I have started this story during finals, finding myself up late each night. For some reason while studying I get the stronger urge to work on this instead. So typically I have been writing this tale very tired, usually around three in the morning.

I would like to take you up your offer though, for proof-reading I mean. My general writing style focuses on getting the story out and then going back to correct mistakes. And while that works it does not work very well for first impressions.

Please tell me Trixie is alive and she will not be a villain. I'm kinda a huge fan of her.
Other than that, good job. A little proofreading could help you, though.

2517670 Of course; as you may see i am already in talks with a proof reader. And as for Trixie being dead? Have you read to the end?

2517675 Yes, but it was weird seeing her freak out in fear. And then she suddenly helps Trotter's crew. Maybe I'm missing something here.

2517739 Never minds. It looked (to me, at least) that she was acting as bait. And when she says "The Great and Powerful Trixie is just a Great and Effective trap!", it looked like she was boasting, not, you know, warning them...

Yeah, I'll shut up now. :facehoof:

2517526 They seem like a pleasant sort. I must warn you, though, folks don't tend to take too kindly to people making up Devil Fruit. It's a bit of a flimsy point, to be honest with you. Then again, I haven't researched each specific fruit (a good few of them, though) in detail, so it's entirely possible that I'm worrying needlessly.

Also, I just noticed that your avatar is one of the Seven Warlords of the Sea. I forget his name, but he was fairly involved in the last pre-timeskip arc. I think. Whelp, back to my One Piece subs. Nami's fallen ill, and there's some dude standing on the sea. I can't afford to miss out on that.

2517877 The Tyrant, Bartholomew Kuma is the warlord who you are looking for. I don't see why people would be disappointed with custom fruits. It seems like a strange thing to be affected by.

2517526Yeah, I think that'd work out great. Just PM me when you're ready for me to edit your newest chapter.

2518180 Can do. Before that though I was hoping you could glance over Chapter Two and tell me what needs to be fixed. Consider it your application test.

2518188This is gonna take a while. You have it on Gdocs?

2518203 Afraid not. Just Pm me an abridged version of what you think needs a fix. I can do the rest from there.

2518212Trust me, there are a lot of mistakes... Let me copy and paste the chapter into a word doc and copy and paste the finished result in a PM. Though for future purposes, Gdocs makes things a LOT easier.

2518042 Thanks. It's just too... easy. It's too easy an explanation for an enemy's strength. Then again, I suppose it's not too different from the show. Most of the tough guys on One Piece are Devil Fruit users, aren't.

2518258 I suppose I see where you are coming from however it seems like a mute point. If I made a Naruto crossover and was called out for giving the villain a bloodline, or even doing a pure MLP story with a powerful unicorn antagonist I doubt I would get berated for it. Devil fruits are part of the One Piece universe; not using them is like leaving magic out of MLP.

And the alternative I could have gone with, using prestablished villains for this, isn't a terrible idea. However it doesn't add anything either, not in the way something constructed for event can be. This story is hopefully not meant to just be a rehashing of ideas or plots seen in either series, but a whole new tale to expand upon both shows mythos (though I will say certain places will be visited from One Piece, the actual arcs will play out very differently).

Besides, there is a important, plot relevant point for those in Trotter's Crew devil fruits.

2517739 I want to apologize if I looked like a jerk, I was just confused. Truth is that I misunderstood some of the things happening in your story. After some sleep, I re-read the chapter and now it all makes sense. So, yeah... Just wanted to make sure you know I love your story so far and to clear any misunderstandings.

This could do with a bit of revision. Mind if I give it a try?

2528393 I appreciate the offering however NightmareKnight has already gone through and given me theirs. I am actually in the process of editing their fixes into the story.

Fixed with some bonus material. Working on Chapter Three now.

One piece is awesome. Continue this please

A decent start! I look forward to where this goes. Keep up the good work :)

i really want an update >_< cause i really like this story

Any chance that you'll start work on this fic again? I am, somewhat, obsessed with Trixie, and would love to see how the ponies react to the Straw Hats, and their collective insanity. That, and I want to see how you'll change up a few of my more favorite scenes. Like Brook's "New World" song, for example... :trixieshiftright:

what happen, who is really he and what that person is and why he split the mare6, spike and trixe so badly?

oh come on, its been 67 weeks since you said you were working on chapter 3. 67 weeks to do one chapter?!

4650111 Yeah, a bit longer than that actually. I'm sorry. But hey, it's updated now- that count for anything?

5191173 Sssssssssssssssssssssssssss....


Mooooorrrrrrre....

*heavy breathing in your ear*

:pinkiecrazy:

"So," the mare said smiling, "wanna have sex?"

...What the fuck is this? Sarachi.exe thought, trying his best - and failing - to push the scene into the deep and dark recesses of his mind and lock it inside a massive treasure chest.

This is pretty good. I want to see their reactions when they see what Luffy and the other monster 3 can do.

5191878 *moring intensifies*

Still though, I will say this right now: This story is good; damn good. You've got the characters down pat, and the pacing seems to be going great. I sincerely hope you can keep this up, because I really want to see where you take this.

5192380 Oh? Still alive NightmareKnight? Good to see you, though I suppose I am the one who vanished. I take it you liked this chapter despite the state it is in? Hehe, seems like I still got it!

5193217 The state it's in? I thoroughly enjoyed this chapter, despite how long it took to have it posted. I saw very little wrong with it.

I cannot help but think of entertaining their reactions will be when they see the feats of sheer power the rest of the crew is capable of. I wonder how far you are going to take the girls into the One Piece storyline? The girls have had their fair share of villains, but how would they react to fighting someone as evil as Hody Jones or Doflamingo? Keep up the good work!

Login or register to comment
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!