i.imgur.com/w8fIA.gif

Beautiful ending!

5893809 thank you!!

5893815 No problem, this was extremely well written, well done

I actually cried a little at the ending.......

I don´t say anything against the people who like that, but this is a pretty weird story, with this as a last chapter, and i am not really talking about Scootaloo dying.

She get´s fucked, she runs away, she raped Dash, she jumped from the cloud, and then she don´t take her medicine and died, i don´t know, but i think there could have been written more.

5893928

5893934 thank you For commenting. I agree with you, it's a weird story. But isn't this FIM fiction? Sorry it didn't end how you wanted.

5893949 i don´t know what you mean with the fimfiction part, but yes it doesn´t have to be perfect, and it is your first story, i don´t even know how old you are, so i don´t judge to much, it is just personal preference.

I think there were some chapters, that were done nicely, at least i liked the idea, i can´t talk about the grammar.

I guess even if it is possible, i could not believe what happened, after the moment Rainbow Dash could not catch Scotaloo.
To be honest, this is your Rainbow Dash, and not the one from the seasons, so there is no reason why i should believe this one should be able to catch Scootaloo, but i guess i only didn´t liked the last to chapters.

I don´t know what you want to do next, but i would still like to hear more from you.

5893964 thank you ps I'm ALOT older than you lol.. I bet.

5893823

The end was well written as usual, and would have been satisfying if I had known this were to be an Alternate Universe fic. It's touching, and tragic, and works well enough considering the relatively low word count, but Scootaloo's death comes rather abruptly. It earned an inward chuckle from me. (I laugh at most abrupt tragedies.) Dash's reaction brought it back down to the pace I think tragedies are most effective at, dwelling on her heartbreak and guilt, seeing the corpse and the note, tying in the title of the fic to the story itself. That part was very nicely handled.

This isn't a fic I would seek out normally for the tags, but I'm glad I read it, if for no other reason then to have enjoyed a great rape scene (first chapter is still my favorite) and to have come to know a new writer! (You don't look as old as you make yourself sound, btw.)

5894125 thank you and thank you and thank you.

5894279 thank you

5894910 Mmm, I don't know .

5895157 ?

5895187 4:34 pm

5895241 I live under the Obummer... Oops I mean Obama dictatorship. Good ol USA..where are you

5895279 ugh... Let's not talk about Obama. I'll just say I did NOT vote for him. Lol

I love this story, all the emotions it was able to convey! But, why is it in the displaced group? I'm not upset, because otherwise I never would have found it, just wondering?

5895301

Holy shit. That was just.... holy shit...

I'd say more, but words are failing me. Just... Holy shit. This emote has a whole new meaning now.

5896032 thank you! Did you like it?!? I appreciate you taking the time to read and comment!!

5896139 Loved it. I'm sad to see it end, but that was kinda what you were aiming for, wasn't it? Heh.

I don't really know why, but the story reminded me a bit of... Grr, I can't recall the name. Think it was something like "Out Of Place" or along those lines. So, yeah. I liked it. Can't wait to read your next story, though please, I beg of you; make it happy. I need happy right now. Heh.

5896173 thank you again! Yes the next one is happy. You don't know how much I appreciate you reading and commenting. Good night

5896185 It was my pleasure, to be honest.
You're a talented author, and I can't wait to read more. Do you by chance write elsewhere, like fanfiction, or a personal blog or something?
I mean, there's no way this is your first story ever. I just won't accept that! :P

5896202 Ive written all my life, but for a long long time I quit. im going to go to keep now I will send you a pm in the morning, tgank u again

5898315

5898546

5901682

5902187 k

holy s***, that was amazing

it was one of the best fanfictions I have ever read

5906650 thank you so much!!!

5881957 5882029
OK, as of Tanks for the Memories, it's canon: Cloudsdale moves.

I have finally read your story. At first I was like dafuq an I reading? Then I'm like, awwww that's so sad. And now I'm actually crying.

You have done a great job with this horrible little story. I'm glad that I followed you.

Keep up the storytelling. I'll be recommending you to a couple of friends.

5912751 thank you!!!

5913074 actually when they were eating dinner, Dash asked her if Bubbadid " anything else" to her besides beating her and she said yes

I hesitated to comment my thoughts on the story as I was reading because I felt that I needed to give it a fair chance before tearing it apart. This was reccommended to me by Phenrys, and initially I had the same reaction he did. I saw the ratings and tags and wanted to turn it down, but I didn't.
I'll start by saying that the beginning seemed to strike too hard and fast. It threw all of this information at the reader in a very unpleasant way, and I'm not sure if it was entirely necessary to go into detail as it was. At the same time, I feel like a blunt "she was raped" wouldn't have done well either, so I don't really have criticisms there.

As I continued reading, I was feeling that I've read a similar story too many times before. As others in the comments have pointed out, Scootabuse is a common story theme, and they mostly end the same. I won't say I could relate to Scootaloo in this story, but I definitely understand her. The obsession with her idol was relateable (albiet without the urine-sniffing), and the story is quick to illustrate the source. Still, I felt that "illustrating" with words and details may not have been completely necessary, but again I founf myself understanding Scootaloo's sexual fantasy with Rainbow. That's one part I could relate. When I was younger, my age didn't exempt me from sexually fantasizing about older women, however, I never actually acted on those fantasies.

Towards the end, I was beginning to see a turn of events that separated this story from the common themes that I usually see. I pointed out before that it was a strange detail that Rainbow didn't know Scootaloo as well, but then it was redeemed by Rainbow letting her guard down and sharing her bed. Rainbow's reaction fit well, and forced another direction that I will admit, had me on the edge of my seat.

The ladt chapter was what blew me away. Up until then, I was entirely neutral, and expectant of a specific ending. I appreciate that Scootaloo did what she did on her own terms, and the note, instead of forcing tears, was reassuring. I was shocked by what happened, even with the hints, and when it did happen, I was pleasantly surprised.

Lastly, I want to say that I appreciate how well you paced this. It may have felt rushed at times, but it didn't drag on either, and that made it far easier to forego judgment until I was finished, which I'm glad I did. I can't tell you the number of 100k+ word fics that drag on entirely too much and make the plot unbearable. I've abandoned a few that were like that, and I'll even admit to writing one. You've done a good job.

5913216 thank you!! You don't know how much t means to me to hear your opinions, good, bad, but mostly good. I know there are a million Scootabuse stories out these, and I don't want mine to be just another one, which I think I've successed in doing. I'm getting a lot of criticism on the names of the OCs but I took the names from real horses I've known. Thank you again, your opinion means more to me than you will ever know. I love Scootaloo so much.

I think this is as close as it gets to a classical tragedy in this site, and for that I found the story to be pretty impressive. It's a touchy and distasteful subject matter and I can see why that would be found unappealing by most people, but i don't think it ever felt like it didn't have a purpose, even if it was a little more graphic than it needed to be at times.

The pace was pretty fast but it was the writing felt concise for the most part, but the ending went through too fast, there was not much that needed to happen but time was compressed a little too much compared to the rest of the story in the last chapter.

Some concepts did feel out of place and were unnecessary, like the mention on TVs and stuff, as long as you're writing within the context of this world its better to avoid them, let us absorb the characters without also having to deal with inconsistencies with the greater world, these things only works against the story you're trying to tell if you're not going to do some real world building which was not what this story was about at all, given its brevity.

I always appreciate a story where the details point at the ponies being ponies, not just funny looking humans, and for that I thank you, very few authors even attempt to reflect that in their work.

Lastly I have to point out that the method for suicide didn't feel like it made any sense, how does Scootaloo even know what an overdose is? Does she do drugs too? Does she know other ponies that have overdosed? Has she overdosed in the past? It would have been more credible to just have her jump out the window again.

Thank you for your story, I hope we see more from you.

Cheers.

5972131 thank you!!

This story was a lot better than I expected it to be. Granted I didn't really have expectations coming in, but it still impressed me. Well done. I'm a sucker for scootadoption, so I'd love to see an alternate version where Lenna and Matthew adopt Scoots. Granted the story wouldn't be the same, but I still think it be a good story.

thank you>>5988116

Wow. It has been a while since I felt some real emotion from a story. Thank you for this great piece of literature.

5990661