Jackson. A New Highschool graduate. A loner. And a particularly Hardcore Brony!
He has Every Poster of My Little Pony, Friendship Is Magic. he has every Mini figure and plush doll of the mane six and Background Ponies. How ever, one failed click on his computer later, and His life changes...
He wakes up, on the Western Border of The Everfree! Apparently, that's directly near Ponyville... But it harder than usual to survive in Equestria, when you've only been a pony for 2 minutes...
Please check out the Blog Post for this Novel and You'll Quickly understand!
Chapters (2)
The description makes him sound like a REAL ponyfag.
Really?
Well then.
Those groups, though...
I'm pretty sure nobody is this obsessed with My Little Pony like this protagonist... although I could be wrong.
5747004 'Tis the Internet. Anything is possible (i.e Rule 34)
Pinkie Pie lives upstairs at Sugarcube Corner, which isn't on the edge of town; Fluttershy is the pony who lives near the Everfree. (This is basic knowledge that anyone who watches the show should have.) Also, according to the official map, Ponyville is on the northern border of the forest, not the western border. (This is basic research and it's not hard to do.)
Finally, your capitalization is excessive, and you need an apostrophe to form a proper possessive: "Pinkie Pie's house".
What does this even mean? I should start listening to Michael Jackson music as I read this?
So, boredom was lounging on the couch? Commas are your friends.
There's no reason to capitalize this.
Applejack's name is not capitalized. This is also basic show knowledge, as well as something that could be checked in seconds all across this site and many other fan sites.
Spellcheck is your friend.
Nope.
Learn the difference between "too" and "to".
What outdoor activity do you think being an author entails? Or are you just not paying attention to your own story as it goes along?
Subscription to what? A magazine? A channel? A toy-of-the-month club? Specify!
People say "I knew it was spam" or "I knew it was a spam message", not "I knew it was a spam". (Normal people, anyway.)
No.
Edit after reading the second chapter:
Why would anyone object to the idea that a flying pony might have fallen from the sky?
Okay, this faggot's whored out to Hasbro way harder than I ever have. With ponies and Transformers COMBINED, and I've spent literally thousands on the latter over a decade.
jeez I may love the show but even that was crazy and that says a lot. It does get a like because of the crazy protagonist. Fix the few errors you have and you will be fine
5747518 ...okay, seriously, are you stalking one of the badfic groups? You keep popping up on these stories.
EDIT: Yup, says you've been in the Badfic Bin for two weeks. A few things make sense now.
5747585 ok... why u care...? I'm looking at ether under-rated stories or stories that are there and see why. I'm being nice and trying to keep their hopes up. Your in no postion to tell me what I am not allowed to do. Because i'm in a good mood, I'll ignore this and move on. Thank you for your time.
5747198 Ok thank you, I'll edit it immeadiatly. :) I was having trouble with it.
5747278 I'm sorry if I wasn't accurate on the book, I needed to do some serious editing, and I'll be sure to try and make it understandable. Once again, thank you for your view on the chapter. I'll try to improve.
5747518 Thanks, I'll try a Bit harder and edit some of the mistakes with a bit more precaution :)
It's good, but it definitely needs some serious editing. After that, the story could be a lot better!
5754100 I'm working on it as we speak. Thanks for reading it also. :)