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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Your author's note is a lie and you know it.
This is a perfect mix of all the best things in this story. Don't change anything.
>> ween_and_everfree_rat
At least she doesn't have mange!
MANGE IS A LEGITIMATE CHARACTER TRAIT I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW!
The fetish is a lie.
This was hilarious
5733810
ponies obviously cycle with the sun, Freaking sun lovers...
A strange (yet funny) chapter about muscle control and bodily functions.
It was pretty good.
Your protagonist's overdwelling on Sweetiebelle's sexuality is coming across as creepily pedophilic.
5729558 wrote : "--------------------------------------------
ps -
If a chapter pops up in the future, where a magical deity gives the protagonist the ability to murder Sweetie Belle, and allows him/her to steal the filly's life.... And then the protagonist "casually chooses" to erase Sweetie Belle from existence..."
You just described my story I'm writing.
" That’s when the floodgates open.
“Oops!” I exclaim, “Oop– oh no!” They’re backing away, looking at me flabbergasted, and I’m just feeling my bladder cheerily compressing down, emptying itself. "
I'm gonna have to include that in my story, with Sweetie Belle on a balcony when it happens and a pony passing underneath.
---
Pony : (notices it falling on her) Oh Sweet Celestia! It's raining ****! Get if off! Get it off! Somepony help me!
---
That'll be so hilarious to have in there when I write the part of it happening.^_^
5733810 That would only tell the blind person that blue is all around during daytime (and night, cause the night sky isn't really black but very very VERY dark blue). Yet you'd be nowhere closer to explaining how the sight of blue feels like. But alas you're right. Nothing is undescribable. Some things just very hard to describe.
5729510 What if the flare caused Sweetie and this random unnamed guy to trade places?
Sweetie would be stuck in a compleetly unfamiliar world. But thankfully the MC seemed to live a life of apathy and without others caring much, so she might not get found out and manage to settle in.
About half way through I started laughing and couldn't stop laughing.
And I'm still laughing
5733810
Human girls, barring things like birth control pills and ordinary fluctuations, mostly cycle with the moon. Pony girls...
Well, that's up to the author, now, isn't it?
That song about lumberjacks and their amazingly long and hard... wood was hilarious.
HAHAHAHA oh my gosh, this is golden. I completely lost it when 'Sweetie' was like "FUUUUUUUUUU" when Apple Bloom and Scootaloo started rubbing their tails.
Heh... Awkwardness fetish...
I see you know Fapplebloom.
First time a story has made me laugh enough to fall off my chair! Pretty sure my headphone connection snapped :(
how does he not know what a urethra is? Simple word that you learn in school.
Also, the akwardness was cringe worthy.
Achievement unlocked:Urine it to win it
5733992
Oh good.
5734853
What? Nooooo, never heard of her.
5735110
Oh no, I can pay for it! I can't pay for it, sorry.
5735347
Urethra is the tube, but nearest I could find for the opening is, it's very infrequently referred to as the "urethral opening" (go figure). But if I couldn't find anything solid on it, I think it's ok for the protagonist to be a little lax in knowing about it.
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Awesome, thanks a lot!
Oh, god! I feel bad for Sweetie once she gets her body back . I look forward to more.
Something I have to know, though;
Did you make this up, or do people actually believe this? Everything in this statement is as wrong as can be. First, according to a friend of mine that works on a ranch that breeds horses, before a mare is bred for the first time, you have to break her hymen with this 'horse dildo', as he called it. The reason is the blood acts like a spermicide, and can cause conception to fail. Thus, horses do have hymens, though this isn't exactly common knowledge. The second part is what I'm wondering about. That thing about misogyny causing a new body part to spontaneously appear is so stupid it hurts.
5735745
Try number three. It was unfortunate when two got shut down, but at least it means you can link it without breaking fimfiction's rules on nsfw links.
What the bloody hell am I reading?
Also..
Is that a thing from a story?
It is nice to read, but it is he is really embrassing himself i guess.
5735941 Yeah, if it is from a story, please respond to both of us.
Also, Mad Maudlin, I just want you to know that for the longest time, I didn't realize your thumbnail was holding an Apple of Discord, and I thought it said "CHAPS!"
5736065
Huh. Now I can see it. Neat.
You really might have an awkwardness fetish. Holy cow. Looking forward to future awkwardness.
img1.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20141125020030/legomessageboards/images/6/64/I_like_it.jpg
5733992
Guy is overfixating because of all different biology, abundance of naked sexual organs in vicinity and simple fact that carnal urges have a very "grounding" effect. I'm pretty sure it's hard to feel detachment from reality when horny. Also damn, he psychosomatically broken Sweetie's hormonal balance.
Or I just making excuses in hope that it's not finely wrought introduction to another foalcon.
The first one looks quite solid for that subgenre, though.
5735751
It's a joke. Albeit you could never be sure now. Modern Internet really tries hard to make me proud of being racist misogynistic semi-old fart.
5735751
You know, sometimes I lose track of whether it's my own ignorance, or that of the protagonist. Fairly sure people really do believe that, as silly as it is, but maybe it was too much for me to have the protagonist believe it. It was sort of a joke about my other story, where I didn't give one single fuck about describing any hymen breaking. I was going to just chalk it up to the CMC's ridiculously dangerous antics tearing them off camera, at first, but it got a little bit beyond just the three of them, and I just stopped caring. Maybe I shouldn't put in the extra-delusional speculation about anatomy and misogyny, though I am pretty sure that for most of human history a woman was far more likely to be killed for being a pedo whore if she had the genes for an incomplete hymen. I just don't think humans could control their own breeding enough to affect it significantly, no matter how eager they were to do it.
Heh, now there's a different take on the story. The CMC discover the hymen, and make it their solemn duty to rid every mare of the accursed thing. CMC gynecologists, yay!
I stuck that passage in with barely half a thought on it, so maybe I'll go over it again since it stood out for some people.
5735941
5736065
It's a blatant rip- er, a subtle reference to Ask Fapplebloom. The protagonist kept up with that comic online, before being Sweetified. I'd link to what prompted Rarity's reaction, but someone was saying that you can't post NSFW links in comments, and I'm not sure if that also applies to Mature labeled stories.
5735752
I don't think Fapplebloom ever posted foalcon on Tumblr, but I haven't been in the loop really. I kind of avoid Tumblr if I can, because it's so horrible. 3 doesn't seem to have any more porn than 2? I've only ever seen foalcon coming from side-channels outside Tumblr. Most of the ask-blog is all implied sex anyway, I gather because they want to draw stuff that people can actually see, and can't do that if the stuff is lewd. There was even a Fapplebloom post on how they self-censored, for Tumblr's sake.
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5736237
Then I continued and I was like yooooooooooooo
5736829
Next chapter sneak peak:
SB: "I'm sorry I didn't mean to touch my special place you shouldn't learn anything from me, please never do what I was doing!"
AB: "What, you mean cloppin'?"
SC: "Gosh Sweetie, you really need to get laid again.
SB: "You already know????
SB: "Wait... 'again'?"
5736589
Thanks!
Maybe I should write more of it, instead of just sitting here thanking people.
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It was always censored, but that wasn't enough for Tumble in the end, despite it not breaking any actual rules.
5739204 Actually, I think the reason he's such a good character is because he's such an ignorant, annoying little cunt. It means he has room to grow and improve as a human. Plus laughing at other peoples stupidity is always fun
5739204
I'm reading through the rules, and there is a ban on nsfw images and links in stories (regardless of Mature), and I'm going to assume for safety's sake that it extends to the comments. Thankfully, the image your quote comes from can be found on Derpibooru and is merely questionable rather than explicit.
So I can post this: https://derpiboo.ru/414247?scope=scpe464a56d1507b9bf11eba051c22841003cc255e4b
5739204
at first i wasn´t sure about it, but right now i am really curious, and i already have to laugh a bit about it.
This is by far the most awkward chapter I've read!
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Specifically, it's links to nsfw images, not just links to nsfw. Otherwise every "Next" button on every Mature story chapter would be breaking their own rule! So, I think links to a derpibooru image page (not the direct image) would be fine, since by default it refuses to show the image, and only gives you a big "THIS IMAGE IS LEWD DO NOT CLICK IF YOU DON'T WANT TO SPAGHETTI" thumbnail. A tumblr page might not be okay, since tumblr is awful and doesn't have filters.
5739292
Chilling effect means admins get to blame the posters for not posting, when it's content the admins can't justify banning, but still don't want anyone to enjoy. I'm not sure what to do about those situations.
5739475
Yeah I still reworked it a little bit. Didn't want anyone to think it was actually true, after all.
5739698
totes legit, also Rarity legally changes her name to R4R3-T, and Fluttershy is discord.
5739751
Only in this story I hope, not in all of the stories you've ever read.
"Oh good it updated. Awww, they're teaching her to wal-"
>last scene
replygif.net/i/204.gif
>goes to bed.
5739853 Yeah, I guess that's true. There are a lot of gullible people.
Fun chapter!
The beginning felt tangled and clunky.... but it picked up. The stuff after Rarity's lesson felt truly fun.
Again, ah enjoy how you're balancing the story. The humor might be a tad perverted, but you know when to ease off.
Ah trust that in yer writing, it ain't gonna become some crack-fic. Maybe a butt-crack mention in the fic. *face hooves*
Kiddin' aside, ah do respect yer maturity.
Focusing back to the positives, again the Crusaders' antics are the highlight. Mah only concern is that "Sweetie Belle" is lecturing a little too much for her friends. An' ifffffff the Author decides to make "Sweetie" the parent figure, ah hope it's not ignored. There's awesome potential for 'em to call out Sweetie's old-pony-ness. :3
Like ah've said earlier, it's a fun chapter.
Ah can admire how brave your writing is. But ah much more adore your ability to write clearly and concisely.
5739853
It actually is, it got me laughing hard and facepalming at the same time.. I'm such a sick person for laughing at one's misery though. And you're even worse for coming up with it. But I won't complain.
I wonder what happened to the real Sweetie Belle though, is she stuck in the human dimension? That's going to be quite a pain because of the age difference, with work and bills and all that stuff. Another possibility is that Sweetie currently has the backseat of a shared body.. That would be creepy.
And how did the worlds link? Through what connection? A magical mishap? Or an opening of an Einstein-Rosen bridge that is directly connected to the M33 galaxy?
Wait..
That's the Ceph's home galaxy.. Nevermind.
So many questions, too little answers yet. Ya better give us some of them soon.
Keep it up, you really got me looking forward to what shenanigans will happen next! This story is rapidly becoming my favourite.
i.imgur.com/rFCOTuU.jpg
could the real Sweetie Belle be stuck in limbo or something closely related?
5747570
You're still assuming that the protagonist could make a difference.
Let's say he speaks out. Then what?
Let's say he decides to help "Sweetie" on his own. How?
The protagonist barely has any control over his environment. He can't even walk... or pee properly. He's still adjusting to the situation.
How can you call somepony who has no control over their situation a monster?
PS - Drink plenty of fluids!!! Being sick is no fun.
PPS - "Minalkra!!! Ah'm an alternate version of you that was sent through Equestria! If you don't send me back soon, you will fade from existence forever. Please-Please, hurry."
th08.deviantart.net/fs70/PRE/i/2014/033/e/a/darth_vader___the_cybernetic_pony_by_xnightmelody-d74v7a9.png
Your thoughts betray you young fapplebloom follower.
anyways, continuing the chapter now.
oh btw: I WAS THE ONE who gave jax that follow up idea. hehe!
My god! I was like the whole scene:
this story is awesome. I can not wait for more
5742754
Um, I suppose?
5741527
That's a good point. They haven't exactly been calling her out for
struttingaround with a big old grownup attitude.I dunno about the beginning. I really had to throw that song in out of nowhere because I needed something to drive stuff forward on a short term basis. I kind of like the magibabble though, and um... the song... and, all that lengthy exposition on horse puberty was bad enough even the protagonist knew it was dragging on. I agree that when I get a chance to have a more physical scene with less introspection, it's a lot smoother to write.
Not sure what a crack-fic is, but this is definitely not a shaggy dog story yet. I certainly doubt it'll end up with a polygamous marriage between Anonnanoo Smithjohn, Sweetie Belle, and Gummy, so crack-ship is out. Really it's just a fun story about being Sweetie Belle, and I don't really have strong feelings about doing anything in particular outside of that.
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Answers? What answers? I'm innocent, officer! No helpless answers chained up in my basement!
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I don't think she's under any illusions that she shouldn't be telling them everything she knows, and fast. Doesn't make it any easier to tell them though. I will say the conviction that this is a temporary thing is a bit of a double-edged sword, because if so, it can't hurt to wait just a little bit longer to reveal everything. It's easy to turn a little into a lot as long as you can maintain that assurance that everything is still on track, just delayed.
5751616
One of the best story arcs by far, too.
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Awesome, thanks a lot.
*reclusive sociopath*
Really?
*splinching*
Really, Harry Potter again?
i0.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/original/000/004/077/Raisins_Face.jpg
The amount of balls he has to put this reference in here.
Wait, so are Applejack and Rarity at least 22 years older than their sisters? Or does living alone and owning your own business not count as being an adult in Equestria?
Also, I am quite happy with the last part of this chapter