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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Well, that was certainly a depressing start to a chapter... damn son. Nice job.
OMG!!R ! RO !#NC FV BG ERBVSDA
AN UPDATE!!! GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! MUST READD!!!!!
That chapter intro.... so spooky and sad. :o
And Luna was liek woah.
Princess Ace? So is Actually Luna? WHAT?
WOOHOOO!!!!!!
Me wub yer writing. And OMFG the SPEED of these HIGH-QUALITY chapters!!! ACK!
You're made of magic. Pure magic.
Like always, this chapter was wonderful. Rolling next to a bunch of soft puppies is how I'd compare this chapter. The stuff you describe, and its detail, is humbling and mind numbing. You are so talented!!!
To be cereal, if people ignored the "character's controversial quirks"... they'd realize how close you are to perfection. I've read hundreds upon hundreds of human-in-equestria stories. You've accomplished a level of detail and beauty that's comparable to the "big" fics.
You are so amazing and wonderous and amazing and super amazing! AGH! Thank you for being so amazing!!!!!!!!!
Luna got mind-fucked by what appeared to be a filly. I have the strangest feeling that nobody will believe her.
Waiting a whole week for every new chapter is killing me. I wish he/she could update more often. I also wish I didn't read so blasted fast so the chapters lasted longer.
chap starts, some many dead things, it's the Zombie Apocalypse!
end game,
>:3 The arrow flies to the batooti ~
No, your name is Humbert Humbert. And you should run for your life.
c: Help! XD
5842573
define "mind fucked"
Getting these swooning reactions to stallions (all stallions huh?...) must mean he was at the very least bi-curious back in his old life (her delusion?). As of now it seems
heshe is bi leaning towards hetero. I know hormones play a big part of it, but there is also some personality factors too.M: "Welcome to the shadow realm Pharaoh!"
P: "It's more of a purple realm."
M: "What!?"
P: "You know, shadows aren't know to be purple." -Pharaoh and Melvin, YtAS episode 50-something
Is it just me, or did everyone in this chapter wanted something sexually?
I just want to make sure i understand everything correct, since i am not perfect at the english grammar and such.
Where both of them more or less only interessted in the other one, in a sexual way, or did they just flirt a bit? For me it looked a bit like Rarity started to mention him knowing how to please a Mare, i guess i am just a bit suprised to have a more foward Rarity here.
Well it was a nice Chapter, one of the better chapters acutally, but i guess i somehow ignored where Luna was in this Chapter, i found her after looking again.
5843505
LOL it's like Rarity just walked straight out of Sex And The City. Which, TBH, would be completely and benignly in-character for her as soon as we leave the lens of a children's cartoon. I can totally see that as Rarity, rather than as an author trying to bend a character to his non-canonical will.
Maybe it will help the Protag to realize that ponies are quite aware of their own sexualities now that he's not inside the children's show anymore, but rather a real place that looks like the children's show. I dunno, maybe paradoxically it will help him become less perverted? Because the excitement of taboo is broken?
He still should respect the fact that Sweetie and her friends are frikkin' 9 y/o, though (though canonically, the CMC are probably around 12 y/o). Your good writing helps the pathetic little goblin elicit some intense and conflicting feels from the readers, but nothing can redeem him if he devolves into pedophilia. Masturbation doesn't fully count, but he better not start eyeing AB and Scoots.
Although it's great for narrative effect, most stars we see in the sky are not dead, and are definitely still burning. Most are only a few light-years away. https://xkcd.com/1342/
5843696
Yes. Without a telescope, the naked human eye can only see normal stars about up to 1500 light years away, which is a blink in the life of stars. I doubt the narrator was seeing any long-dead stars in his tiny little visual bubble of 1500 light years. And that is assuming he's living in some empty desert for him to even see that far.
5843651
I am thinking that Sweetie Belle out of control magic is creating a "lust effect", and since Rarity is the pony closest to her most of the time... Rarity is being more forward with stallions that she would be in the presence of children.
5844130
I shudder to think what that cutie mark would look like.....
5844183
Is not a cutie mark talent, is a nasty magical side-effect. She is still Sweetie Belle in body, so her talent is probably singing.
I really hope it doesn't end up being revealed that he was dropped into the exact oversexed pornfic variety of ponyland that he was probably fantasizing about while jerking it to horse porn, instead of the canon setting. I don't think it will, though, because that would just be... no. I'm not sure where you could even go with the story then except for the obvious.
What point would there even to investing this much effort into the writing, only to have it turn out that he is unironically in a trashfic's setup about some schmuck randomly getting his every wish and fantasy fulfilled and then leaving at that, after all?
Except for a very involved long-term troll of your readers, I suppose, which would be pretty funny.
5843149 Like, 'Oh, it's just a little filly. I help with her nightmare... OH SWEET MOTHER OF ME, THIS IS HORRID. THIS FILLY HAS DESIGNED WORLDS BEYOND OUR COMPREHENSION. SHE HAS LIFE EXPERIENCE BEYOND HER AGE, FEARS WE'VE NEVER WITNESSED... WHAT ARE WE EVEN LOOKING AT ANYMORE I CAN'T EVEN NO NOPE WAKING UP DREAM ABORT ABORT ABORT!!!' and she wakes up, screaming about little fillies knowing more than most adults, and magic picture boxes showing ponies that can be controlled through non-magical means.
The flirting is real. Poor guy/Sweetie Belle
If Sweetie want a clone, she could try the mirror pond/lake... But is not sure that could work.
I think protagonist is the parody of generalized fedora-tipper. Just look at deep thoughts about trains and virginity. Latter were replaced with even more profound thoughts after some complaints.
5843696
5844130 Well, I don't know. Her acting like this is actually kinda cannon. Look at how she threw herself at poor Blueblood. Or actually any interaction with any stallion really.
5845132
Yes, but not in front of her little young and impressionable sister.
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derpicdn.net/img/2014/9/15/722370/thumb.gif
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5842256
Thank you! I was so scared that no one would like that part.
5842577
You think it's killing you? Try having to wait a week to write the darn thing! (Stupid words. Come out faster! )
5843401
The protagonist hasn't exactly ever had a chance to explore her sexuality, so I don't think anyone really knows the answer to that, not even her.
5843401
CARD GAMES ON MOTORCYCLES
5843505
Well, I think it'd be a bit of a stretch to say everyone wanted something sexually. I mean, it is kind of weird that you would interpret Apple Bloom and Scootaloo asking if Sweetie Belle can "come out" and "play" as sexual desires, but far be it from me to criticise how you feel about that sort of thing.
5843651
I would think the howling bus sized monster would be the first clue that she wasn't in Canonsas anymore. Or at least G1 canon.
...
What if they start eyeing her?
5843696
I think they meant dead in the conscious sense, not the no longer on fire sense. You're right that is a bit ambiguous though, to people who don't understand what it means to be alive.
5844027
plasticbrickautomaton.com/comics/88.jpg
5844254
You know, there are more kinds of setting out there besides "some schmuck randomly getting his every wish and fantasy fulfilled" and canon. I can't say I have the greatest respect for canon, in fact. But, I'm not a huge fan of wish fulfillment either, at least not in the traditional sense. On one hand it'll probably be fine, but on the other hand do take into consideration who's writing this before taking your hand out of your pants.
5844609
Two days later the protagonist kicks a chair out from under her, while the other Sweetie clones are bouncing around her happily shouting out, "Dick! Dick! Dick! Dick!"
But no really, the mirror pool is stupid and I won't rely on that particular crutch.
5844790
Well, the mythical fedora-tipper is arrogantly self gratifying, and contemptuous towards women, so... no. Those who filter their reality to spotlight fedora-tippers will never mention anyone who's self loathing, because that could make him sympathetic, and that could get you to actually think critically about the ideas that he's being used to demonize.
5845299
Perhaps she's trying to set a good example.
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5844570
Awesome, I'll do my best! Thank you all so much!
5845532 You are welcome, I really do enjoy reading this story, it seams slow but at the same time it is not, its confusing on my fragel little mind... LOL... Keep it up though I love reading it and it is intersting...
5845532
you are welcome. But we should be thanking you for such narrative c:
5845532
Sure there are, but that isn't quite what I meant. The main character doesn't sound like the kind of person who'd particularly care about those, since his whole interest in the show seems to be based in a combination of two things: a fixation on the "oh god so cute and innocent" childlike aspect of it and his equally obsessive preoccupation with sexing them all up despite that fact (or, more disturbingly, because of it.)
So basically the setting of the story needs to work in a way that would frustrate both of these desires to give the character a reason and opportunity to grow past that, rather than just enable his dysfunctions further. He doesn't seem to have the slightest interest to do it on his own initiative and would probably just stagnate completely, otherwise. And since I think you understand that just as well, it clearly can't be just that, or the whole character study aspect of the story would be pointless.
Anyway, that's what I was going for with that statement about wish fulfillment and canon setting, not that the latter is what he should have been dropped into. Hope that clarified it.
5845532
wow, okay i admit that mistake, but i feel like you probably know that i maybe doesn´t meant this one scene. I think you know it, because it seems a bit odd that you just talk about that one mistake, then again maybe you think i am really serious about it, i guess there are people who would be.
Like i said, i was just not quite use to this Rarity, i guess if i wuld have known that she would be like that, then it would not even mention it. I can stand something like this, no problem but i didn´t expected it. Personally i would never speak or act like that, because it seems sometimes like they just want to have a one-Night stand. (it is called like that right?)
Nothing against a flirt, but i can´t image to talk directly about the sex, because i am not just interessted in that, but i would have to lie if i would say it would not be a nice bonus. I mean i think they made it quite cleat that they already liked each other for their bodies, that is what i remember without looking again.
I think sometimes i just think what i would do in this situation, and if i feel like they would act to much against it, then sometimes it is weird at first, but nothing seriously bad.
Don´t ask to much, i like to have everytime another explanation, and make things more complicate then they need to be.
I like the story, i just like to know if some of the personality is different too, i have really less of a problem with that, like it probably seems right now, i just like to make it complicate.
5845532
All leading cryptozoologists do not agree with you.
Frankly, I'm just horsing around. Deliberate some things or not, the fic is highly amusing.
The start had me nearly crying, the middle had me smiling, and the ending had me EXCITED! I just recently found out about the whole "Tracking" Feature, and I was 2 days late to read this chapter, A swift kick to my rear end and I'm back on track to reading the chapters as they come out
5847548
Hence why I think Sweetie Belle out of control magic is influencing herseft and other ponies. And Rarity is the pony who expend more time with her. Of course is so subtle it would take Twilight Sparkle to figure it out.
5848581 well i think i like this explanation.
Verdigris, in case anyone wonders and wants to google the name to see what the color looks like exactly. Personally, I think it's pretty ugly.
5845299
Too young to get whats going on, presumably.
I agree that Rarity would be an outrageous flirt by real world standards once you take off the the rating goggles and assume that it isn't all meant to be chast. In fact a lot of interactions on the show take on a different light once you assume that the world is meant to function logically and that the ponies are fully reasoning adults rather than cartoon characters. I would treat this as AU even if all of it sticks to the bounds of canon since the tone of the story makes it clear that someone who wanders into the Everfree could be expected never to come out again which isn't something that'd ever happen on the show.
5852126
While not in that tone, ponies A) Are terrified of making Celestia angry and B) Say that the Everfree is truly dangerous.
5852126
That seems like reading a bit much into it. It's not like she's rolling on the floor spread eagle verbally propositioning him or anything. Sure, she's being outrageously flirty, but there's nothing actually sexually explicit about it anything she says or does. You could put that dialogue in a Saturday morning cartoon for how tame it is, in terms of actual words used or innuendo for anything explicit, and shaking your hips a bit doesn't exactly mean "take me now. you stud, I want you." Well, at least unless I'm a lot more popular than I thought I was.
Being a huge tease without ever actually putting out is really how I would expect Rarity to behave in a less sanitized kind of show too, though. Trying to grab the interest of as many potential "prince charmings" as possible, to get the best chance of finding the one to get seriously romantically involved with, seems like it'd be the obvious approach to dating that's enjoyable and still ladylike in her eyes. She gets to boost her confidence by proving to herself she's actually that attractive, but doesn't have to do anything that might give her a reputation for being "easy," which ladies obviously aren't and therefore neither is she.
5858639
Frankly dude, I'm thinking the real Sweetie Belle is dead and this dude was put into her body by the powers that be to give a guy with a bad life a new and better one while letting Rarity and Sweetie Belle's friends not lose the filly. Unless I'm reading this story completely wrong, I'd wager that by the end of this fic,the dude will completely forget his past life and BE Sweetie Belle in a type of reincarnation style plotline.
Oh darn, now I gotta wait for an update? *head completes a slow and complete full circle, whilst groaning in anger*
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
5858734
Seriously? You actually believe that?
5858864
yep, its quite literally the only plot that would make sense since we have not heard ANYTHING from the "real" Sweetie Belle period. If the guy was merely possessing her, then the presence of the "real" Sweetie Belle would be apparent to the guy or she would remark at some point to him.
5846651
Does defusing her sexual anxiety with positive role models and desensitization, while refusing to conform to her model by being anything but an innocent Equestria work for you? Not that that's the ultimate goal of my story, no no not at all.
5847548
Who, me? Noooo, I was taking you totally seriously.
5849030
To be fair, verdigris the color is much darker than Sweetie Belle's eyes, though it is a similar hue. The stuff on copper varies in lightness unlike the official color though, so it sort of looks sort of close to her eye color. I used the rust on a penny example not because of its accuracy, but because the protagonist isn't going to be coming up with fancy appellations when she's busy being stunned by what she sees in the mirror.
5852126
Oh, the things I could do with that.
"Ah'm depressed ah don't got mah cutie mark. Ah'm just gonna go into the death forest like a wounded animal, see ya,"
*the other two trot blithely away, it's never mentioned again*
5852477
That's an interesting way of putting it. I think you might like my particular spin on the idea, if I ever get around to showing what it means to Rarity to be a Lady.
5852126
Every fanfic is an AU. Even the comics are an AU. The show isn't even consistent with itself! Can Twilight teleport or can't she? How many times is Rainbow Dash going to forget she can fly?
5859712
Depends. Ideally? He'd find that he's pretty much exactly where he started - horsey society and behaviour is exactly like humans are, warts and all, except somehow with fireballs and wings - because his problem was never really anything fundamentally the fault of the place or the people, just a justification for his unwillingness to make it work anyway. Positive role models and fixing his issues by being actually meaningfully better in any sense would confirm that wanting to run away to a fantasy world was exactly the right thing to do all along.
5859438 O.O OMG..... that makes so much sense it might just be correct...
5860497
Well what if it was? Magical rainbows rarely resolve crisis situations in real life but one would assume they'd be a go to solution if they actually existed. The story needs an internally consistant reason to teach meaningful life lessons otherwise it's just inventing problems to sustain conflict.
My favorite example is the adventure time episode where the main character has to choose between saving his best frinds life and getting a super cool psychic war elephant. He gets the warelephant and uses it to save his friends life because why wouldn't he? It's a perfectly valid solution to the problem thats just sitting there behind the obvious plot device meant to shoehorn a moral into the story.
I suppose what I'm trying to get at here is that once your story features pony land it'd be ridiculous to backpedal so that acknowlaging the reality of pony land as nonfictional is a sign of failing. Pony land not being all it's cracked up to be is one thing but just arguing to your audience that the premise of the story is absurd is a somewhat hollow effort unless you're trying to establish something else at its expense in genre subversion sort of way.