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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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OMG AN UPDATE!!!
SQUEEEEE!!!
*hurries to read*
Why is this not showing up in my favourites feed? I frelling swear, FiMfic, get your plucking shite together already...
The lumbermare part felt confusing.
Still, ah really like them other stuff.
"Sweetie Belle" still confuses me a bit. She sounds like Earth had a nuclear fallout or somethin.
Ah'd be okay with that, but "Sweetie" also watches FiM. Huh?
Whatevers, ah'm just happy ta read a funtastic chapter.
Ah'm actually glad yer not spendin' a ridiculous amount of time to explain the human's origin. That would be borin.
5709953
Fortunately, this showed up on mah Tracking feed.
But yer totally right. FimFic been actin' a might strange lately.
5709980 Yeah this chapter showed up inmine as well though last chapter didn't.
So funny, thanks for sharing
So ... you're a monster that is willing to steal a child's life away for your own selfish desire? And either doom her to live what you consider the wreck of your own life or doom her to exist in some sort of magical hibernation in the back of Sweetie's mind?
Good to know!
EDIT: Italic is an edit.
Wow. You made a character that I am simultaneously disgusted by, yet pity. On one hand, his feelings make perfect sense, but on the other, his views on humanity piss me off. Just because your life sucks and everyone around you is worthless doesn't make humanity worthless.
Also, the one thing keeping me going in life is science. Science is greater than any magic, especially because it is a logical viewpoint on nature. Science is the true magic.
5710218 Yeah alotta of these seem to end up with misanthropes, but what can you do.
5709953 maybe you had the mature filter on so the site filtered this story
Inb4 Sweetie gets sucked down the drain because cartoon physics.
Edit: Damn.
I hope the protagonist addresses where exactly Sweetie Belle went, since he's gone and replaced her and such.
Oh, and I'm personally hoping he doesn't just go all broody and edgy about how humanity sucks and shit all the time.
Like, I get it, ya hated your life and got screwed by the system. But misanthropy brings a bad taste to my mouth, because hating humanity is dismissing all the good things we've done.
Anyways, I'll keep on reading, if at least to see where this all goes.
5710182 Maybe go a bit further? He's more willing to die than go back. He doesn't particularly want to steal Sweetie's life, but at the same time, he doesn't think he'll be able to handle a full life on his own. He also seems to think he's going to die when he reaches the hospital. He's in the scared survivalist state; he has to survive. He isn't really considering anything beyond life or death, stay or go. He isn't thinking about where Sweetie is, or what she's doing; just the fact that he is scared, doesn't understand anything, and expects his own death.
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Second chapter didn't show up in mine either, but I shall speak no ill of fimfiction, for anypony who speaks thusly of it has forgotten the horrors of other fanfiction sites....
This really is the best designed fanfiction site I have ever been to, and I really try to remember this when little hiccups happen like this. Think of it like a present of two chapters at once
5710711
Ok, I can give him that he's scared - but at the same time, he doesn't know shit about ponyland. Maybe they have an exorcism spell to wipe him out or maybe they'll throw some leeches on Sweetie's ass and call it a day. He doesn't know and other than trying (and failing miserably) to masturbate, he's not really done very much of anything substantial yet. The rest of your argument is just a smidgen bunk - he's a coward for not accepting Background shit-hauler pony position etc. - but from the character's standpoint, I can see where his fear is feeding into his own self-loathing and he's making excuses and rationalizing away some really big issues for his own sake.
Doesn't make him LESS of a selfish monster but we can at least empathize with him a bit I suppose. And of course, after he calms down, we'll see if he continues to steal this life or if he owns up to it all. Just remember, the LONGER this
liemisrepresented truth goes on, the less likely the ponies are to help you and the more harsh their reaction will be when it comes out.Oh, and author? I really do like the story! Really. The main character is a selfish monster but I really, really like the story. Please continue.
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Well, no Head deity of any religion was being maligned, since the protagonist doesn't believe they exist, so could only insult some fictional caricature of them. That was sort of what I was trying to get at, that if a deity was real then it would be wrong to use them as a punching bag, which I think is a positive spiritual message. I think any mention of religion positive or negative will lose me readers to be honest, but I said I was going to do everything wrong and by gosh I meant it.
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"Why Am I Pinkie Pie?!" was a pretty decent story it's true, though I'm much more a fan of Project: Sunflower. It was too random and meta though (even for Pinkie Pie) and a lot of the jokes were a bit forced. Like that whole freakout, or ruining Zecora's containers. Plus, well, it had a Japanese fox spirit in it.
I think the biggest influence from it was how in WAIPP the protagonist immediately went to undo everything and return to his girlfriend and family, and then in the epilogue was estranged from his family and lost his crazy gf. It made me question the "No Place Like Home" trope, and imagine if there could be a protagonist messed up enough to do anything but try to undo anything and return home, that people could still identify with.
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Souljar...? Aware of cutie marks...? The protagonist is supposed to be a brony, but I haven't really gone into their past much.
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WOAH STOP THE PRESSES
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Yeah I really didn't feel comfortable with how that part is going. I just had to have a lumberjack song though. Dodge Terminal is just too ideal a place for a lumber town to not have a lumberjack song!
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5710182
You think that's bad, just wait until things really get going!
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That's pretty much exactly what I'm going for... so don't expect her to become some kind of noble, self sacrificing paragon of virtue any time soon.
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Maybe in the outtakes!
5710709
I agree heartily. Everyone already knows how humanity sucks and all the good things we've ever done have all been for naught. No reason to sit around repeating that ad-nauseum! Well, unless you're a preacher I suppose.
5710711
Y-yeah, you captured the essence of it a lot better than I could have written.
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Oh I'm sure you'll be weeping for the terrible plight of this chantard any minute now. Yep aaaaany minute now.
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You think that's detailed?
Really liking this story so far. Very few grammar and spelling errors, (which always pleasantly surprises me about this site after coming from years of suffering on Fanfiction.net), and though I'm sure the HiE premise has seen every iteration under the sun done a thousand times over, I haven't read all that many yet, so it's new to me.
In regards to the debate of Sweetie-guy's origins, I have my own theories. I won't lay odds on it until/if it's ever revealed, and maybe I'm reading too much into things that aren't there while fishing for red herring. What I do know is that the first chapter/prologue was titled "Resurrection", and that in itself carries several implications...
The first theory is that Sweetie Belle is actually who she appears to be, but was "Mr-Hopelessly Boring" in a past life from an alternate universe. The "interdimensional-meteor" reacted to this for "reasons" and awoke her past life memories, but being the older personality, it at least temporarily overrode her current-life's memories. Some part of her remembers being Sweetie, though, hence the mental slips regarding her friends and sister before "correcting" herself.
The second theory is that whatever happened in the "space meteor-machine" actually killed Sweetie, but something interceded and stuffed "Mr-Boreing's" mind (spiritual) into her now soulless body for "reasons", and the above mentioned mental slips are simply a byproduct of his brain (physical/organic) still being Sweetie's brain and thus the neurons are wired to respond that way when thinking about them like muscle memory, and something to consider for her continued inability to walk (my advice to the character sent through the fourth wall: pretend you're walking on your hands and knees until you get your bearings instead of thinking of them like different appendages entirely.)
I love reading to this story, even if it didn't show the last chapter in my unread shelf D:
Oh, this is gun be gud, straight female problems, heheh.
And yeah, humanity has done some things, but really? wars over something so petty?
Normally this kind of protagonist would annoy me, but you managed to make me feel bad for them while leaving the obvious problems of misanthropy intact. This is one of the best surprises I've had on this site for a while.
Interesting...
I'm working on something similar.
Except in mine my SI is hit by a car and his spirit/soul/everything winds up floating in the void until it encounters Sweetie Belle and possess her, then I murder her. Well, her soul anyway then. I fight her, defeat her, and cast her out. She goes to the pony afterlife place. And I keep the body for myself.
I still have to finish this chapter, but i really enjoy this, this is great, far better than other stuff i have read, which has the same idea.
Whatever or not he is able to stay in her body (maybe Sweetibell died, or she can´t come back), or if he is getting a new Filly Body, but i hope he doesn´t have to change back, i would hate to grow used to him being Sweetibell if he has to change again.
Please make this a longer story, even if you don´t have any ideas anymore in he end, then you could still make a sequel, i just think you could probably make very much with this, especially if he should reveal himself as a Human, that could be one half of the real story, were he would have to get used to how different they treat him, maybe he would get a temporary new Home, maybe he could be Dinkys Sister, oohhhh i don´t know but that are nice ideas for me right now.
It wasn't a mistake to track this. You are good. Keep up.
As a pointless pointer have this: Don't be afraid to make Sweetie act manipulative and use his/her knowledge.
"The last two is undescribable" instantly followed by describing them...
Whoever the guy is he is not particularly good with expressions...
I'm definitely loving this story, though I really do hate misanthropists like him. Their common philosophy in life is, "All humanity is greedy and evil... except me." Oh well. I'll be awaiting the next chapter.
5710218 well..
Humanity is kind of worthless, I mean just as worthless as every other animal that lives in this world (my opinion)
I mean, killing everything in wars for no good reason..
When I think about life it's just
Sleep --> school/work --> eat --> repeat
But just because something is worthless doesn't mean you can't enjoy it, I think..
This comment is kinda worthless I guess..
Hi??
5711977
Mr. Boring I love it. As for locomotion, well, horse legs are really weird. It never made sense to me how people could just go from crawling to horsey walking. I may be milking it a bit too much though, you're right. To be fair it's her third day, and she hasn't even practiced walking yet.
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Um, which ones used misanthropes, out of curiosity? Do you mean the regular Human in Equestria ones, where he stays an actual human? I'm trying to think of a human-as-pony in Equestria story that features a genuine misanthrope, but I'm just coming up blank. Even Heartbreak is like "fairies suck b/c they stole my beautiful humanity which I love."
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I know! It's just a bunch of crystals, right? Ponies will fight wars over the silliest things!
5712503
Ok, you do that...
5712905
Sure, I'll keep those ideas in mind. There's lots for her to do right now before I have to worry about running out of ideas or actually addressing the glaring issues she's running away from.
5713314
I was trying to say "defies description" and then the protagonist was describing him to demonstrate how the description can't capture his vigor, also because she was hopelessly infatuated. Didn't mean to convey that he couldn't be described.
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Just wanted to thank you all for your encouragement.
That's, uh... that's perfectly normal for girls. It's called PMS, pre-menstrual syndrome. You get really horny for no reason and then you go home and cry for no reason and the whole time you're like, "Wth is going on! Why am I crying? My life is great and I have literally nothing to be sad about, what's wrong with me?" Then two days later your period starts and you go, "Ohhhhhh..."
It doesn't hit all girls the same way, some cramp, some get angry and irritable, some aren't really affected at all, but a lot of us get horny and weepy.
The same reason when I start bawling for no reason my mom sighs and gets me a mint chocolate milkshake instead of giving me the third degree. We're girls, we all go through it somewhat.
I just wanted to tell you that this is awesome so far.
fimfiction-static.net/images/interactive_pony/dash/fly_rainbow_left.gif
^Random pony for sake of pony
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I was actually at work when I made the realization that crawling and pony locomotion are pretty similar in an abstract way. What I do has me crawling around in cramped spaces a lot and one day it just sort of hit me.
Think of it like this: replace your hands with hooves, shorten the lengths of your shins and femurs while increasing the length of your "foot" while the total length of your legs is the same as your "arms" and instead of toes you have hooves. When your walking you're essentially doing so on your "toes" for your rear legs and your arms are in front to help maintain balance.
The more I read this, the more I see a "reincarnation" style fic in this.
I might be shooting off target with this but I'm going to guess at a few key plot points:
Both the guy and Sweetie Belle died at the same time, the dude's soul was put into Sweetie Belle's body by "The powers that be" so that not only would the guy have a second chance at life but so that Rarity wouldn't lose her little sister,ect...
If my theory is correct, then it fits PERFECTLY in why the guy is accidentally referring to himself as Sweetie Belle at times and not to mention the obvious blush he got from staring at a stallion.
My theory is: that by the time the end of this fic rolls around the dude will forget everything about who he was and will essentially be "Sweetie Belle" reincarnated into another life.
Regardless, I certainly hope to see some more of this fic and while I do hope for some "naughty" scenes as well, by this point, I don't care either way but still hoping one or two pop in!
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A human is good a human can be kind, generous, and thoughtful.
Humanity is a self-destructive specie who would sooner point every nuke they had at something they don't like or understand and ask questions later.
If you don't get what I'm saying without trying to think about Men In Black the movie then I pity you.
I find myself looking at scrolling bar to see when the chapter is over, and dreading it ending, I just wanna keep reading
5714206
There are two ways to think about this. You can feel life is worthless, or you don't. Life doesn't have any true meaning, yes, but that doesn't mean we can't make our own meanings.
I personally feel that conscious life is the universe's way of discovering itself. I don't think this was 'planned' or anything, but since the universe now has a piece of it that can think, we should take advantage of our existence to learn and explore as much as we possibly can.
Imagine what sapient life could accomplish in billions of years. It doesn't even matter to me that humans won't exist then, because our millions of ancestors will be as diverse as the Star Wars galaxy due to evolutionary drift. The universe will most likely exist for countless number of years and by the time it ends I hope our ancestors, no matter their form or biology, break the bounds of physics and technology, spreading to every galaxy and star, learning all there is to know. The universe truly becoming one with itself.
One word sums up my thoughts on humanity; potential.
The main character is very angsty.
5714781 Humanity is also the only species that will give resources to others without thought of gain, and the only species that will go out of their way to preserve other species. The fact is, if you speak of humanity as a whole as being one way, you're already wrong. We aren't so black and white.
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Really? Is that so? Then how about you pack up your things, head to south of the USA, and help the thousands of needy people who need the food,money, and resources ten times more than you do?
If you so much as utter a single reason as to why you can't, then I rest my case.
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lol "give up your life and give all your stuff to poor people or humanity is evil"
If that's the level or reasoning you apply to everything, it's no wonder you hate humanity. You must think everyone's as stupid as you are.
And of course you'd also be the kind of person who thinks "south of the US" is a single, undifferentiated wasteland of poor brown people living in mud huts, just in case the irony wasn't thick enough already.
5716037 You realize that requires money and a lack of current responsibilities, right? I ride a bicycle an hour and a half to Wal-Mart where I make squat so I can take care of my disabled father and brother. Sure, I don't have it as bad as a lot of the world, but that doesn't mean I can just leave. Now, get down off your soap box and try looking at the bigger picture.
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You can call it unfair and say i'm "soapboxing" all you want in an attempt to discredit everything I've said but if there's anything the HUNDREDS if not THOUSANDS of people who read and love stories like this one to which the character dies and goes to
Equestriaa better place.(Sound familiar?) say about the world, its that its a cruel and unforgiving place.On the news, I see reports of someone, somewhere in the US or other parts of the world, killing another person for petty reasons, robbing a helpless family, DROWNING THEIR INFANT THREE MONTH OLD DAUGHTER BECAUSE THEY DIDN'T WANT TO BE A MOTHER! I see these kinds of news reports on a daily basis and it makes me want to puke.
As I said before: A human is capable of being kind, thoughtful, generous, and selfless. That human just isn't one of you two and thus you both fall into the category of the rest of Humanity. Are you as cruel as the others? Well, I can't answer that because I don't know you. I myself gave a homeless man a chicken snackwrap without thinking twice and didn't ask for anything in return less than 3 days ago and no I'm not christian or religious in any sense of the words. Does that make me better than you? Who the hell knows?! But don't even for one second claim yourself to be under the description you gave shirotora because your not,I'm not, and very few people are.
Think about these things and i mean REALLY THINK: How would the you or the world react if an alien specie sudden showed up on earth? How would you or the average person react to a dead cat on the road? Do these big businesses and people donate to charities out of the kindness of their hearts or for the VERY LARGE tax write off? If you or anyone else see a homeless person on the streets, how do you react?
I rest my case.
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Do you know what male lions do when they take over a pack from another lion? They kill all the cubs. Every single time. That is because the pride can't feed two litters of offspring at once, so the one that doesn't carry his genes simply has to go. There is no malice or forethought in it. It is simply life, just like it was shaped by evolution and deeply ingrained into their instincts by millions and millions of years of the other, non-cub-killing lions not successfully breeding. Because this is the real fucking world, where the only way to keep living is being more willing to do whatever it takes to not die than everything else around you also wants. We need to breathe one of the most corrosive and reactive poisons in the periodic table every second of our life just to keep living. Because even the concept of mercy wasn't a thing that existed before humans invented it. This whole universe was not made for us. Every single thing in existence except a few small parts of one single chunk of rock in all the universe is completely and unavoidably lethal to every single living thing we know of that has ever existed. You get to keep living by virtue of the ability of every cell in your body to hold on to existence with tooth and claw for every second they can, even if it means actively destroying themselves by inches fueling their metabolism with the stuff that put the "oxid" in "oxidizer."
And here you sit, whining and bitching and moaning like a goddamn infant throwing a tantrum because life doesn't measure up to the standards of a fictional place intelligently and carefully designed as safe, cuddly and inoffensive entertainment for little preschool children! Do you even begin to comprehend how completely pathetic, childish and divorced from what life means you and anyone like you look to every person on Earth not just as coddled, half-delusional and secluded in their own personal little fantasy world? Three and a half billion years of survivors begetting survivors, with us as the ultimate descendants of untold generations, over a timespan longer than you can comprehend, desperately holding on to life at any cost at all, and you complain because corporations enjoy getting tax benefits out of giving away their property to the needy when they don't have anything forcing them to ever give a shit at all.
We are literally the most saintly, caring lifeform to ever exist on this world and you are too stupid and absorbed in your repulsive little pity party to understand that, even when it screams you in your face every single day of your life.
Also, humanity will never see any aliens. Not ever. There isn't the slightest indication that anything not evolved on this world has put foot on it in all the billions of years that it has existed, and they bloody well won't come here in the comparative eyeblink that our species will exist here in a recognizable form. Interstellar travel is a fantasy. We're going nowhere, ever, and nothing is coming for us either.
And the most ironic thing? The only reason you even can complain is because the whole place was thought up by humans, who can imagine an idyllic little place like that and understand how nice that kind of life would be, despite being designed for and never having seen or experienced anything but a world that isn't and can't be like it, ever. All those superior places and races in your imagination? Literally a part of us.
Now go away and stop being a failure of a human being.
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dashie.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw5281-words.jpg
I'm not going to even dignify that text block of "human ego" with a proper response.
Learn some humility pal and get over yourself, humans aren't superior to every other living creature on the planet and/or universe and we sure as hell aren't the only sentient specie in the universe.
5718240 Your statement betrays your ignorance. That 'wall of text' (funny considering it was in response to your own wall) wasn't 'human ego'. It was stating that humans are just another animal.
As for your previous post, yes, the world is a harsh place. No one's arguing that. What we're arguing is the simple fact that that isn't all there is to it. I've noticed something; the only people that think like you are people that have never truly struggled. You say that humanity sucks, but in what way is your life terrible?
When I was in the Navy, I had seen some of the worst of the world. I've seen the poverty in India and south Asia and you know what? I never saw so many smiling children. You see what people that want your money want you to see. What I saw with my own eyes was kids playing outside, not letting the harsh realities of the world keep them down. If they can do that, why can't you? Quit being a spoiled kid looking at what you don't have, and look at what you do have.
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As if you could manage one if you tried. It was actually the opposite: humans aren't special, we aren't important, and nothing in the universe gives a flying fuck if we live or die. That's why we are the way we are. If anything is egotistical, it's the sense of arrogant entitlement someone must have to think they deserve to live in a world that specifically caters to their childish desire to never have to deal with any unpleasant realities ever, because this one just isn't quite adequate for someone of their refined moral sensibilities.
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Oh,oh,oh... you just HAD go there...didn't you?
Never struggled huh?
I lived on the street for eight years! Picture this: It's -10 blow zero and your ONLY source of heat is the clothes on your back, a thin as fuck coat, and risking being thrown in jail for trespassing on a factory since I was sleeping next to the warming place I could find. The next day, your forced to con your way into your one and only meal since everyone who looks at you and wants nothing do with you unless you put on a valiant act to convince the poor sap in the restaurant that someone just stole the cash out of your purse. Oh and btw, this doesn't work everytime and your often going hungry for days on end at times.
You finally get off the street thanks to your sister who paid money she REALLY COULD NOT AFFORD TO SPEND to get you a house to rent and are frantically trying to get government benefits before next month comes about or be right back on the streets. You get approved only to find out it will be a full month before you get your first check. You walk up to the landlady and beg her not to kick you out and promise you will have payment to her for the rent plus backdue next month.
Your following months are spent with NOTHING but a roof over your head, you still have no money for food since your entire check went towards rent and back rent, and must continue to depend on conning people to get a meal because no one wants to help you unless you trick them.
-------
My life these days isn't nearly as bad thankfully but I guess my "never struggling life" must be soo nice.
Point is, I came from a life of struggling just to live and you have the GAL to call me spoiled?
TL;DR: You know nothing about me!
As for serving in the army, good for you! You actually did something beneficial for others but it should take serving the army or any type of religious belief to do what's right/nice for people.
Nice chapter, that last part with the lumberjacks was kind of sudden.
Like I wrote in my previous comment, I really enjoy your descriptive way of writing. Keep it up!
5718470 Yes. I'm calling you spoiled, because even then you had it better than those smiling, happy kids in India who probably won't even live to see 18. When the harshest moment of your life is normal to the majority of the world and you cry about it, you are spoiled rotten. Grow the fuck up and drop the pity party. The fact that you got out of that should open your eyes to the good in the world. The fact that someone cared enough to get you out of that at great cost to themselves is proof enough of the good in the world. And don't try that "she's family" BS. That just cheapens what she did. And don't try that "she's family" BS. Familiy is just as likely to screw you over. What she did, she did because she's a good person, like most of humanity wants to be. Just because we can't fix everything, doesn't mean we don't want to.
Godamn I just want to line the protagonist up against a wall and have him slapped. Like a whole squad, just one after another, slapping him till they knock something loose.
I have no idea what separates this story from most but it is exceptional. Please feel free to update as soon as possible!
It's "surreptitiously"