It's been six years since the Great Changeling War. Now, with the Elements of Harmony having been presumably killed defeating Chrysalis, Princess Twilight Sparkle has become the lone ruler of Equestria, and has run out of hope. But with knowledge that one of the Elements might still be alive, Twilight will stop at nothing to find her.
However, there are ancient forces at work in the universe. A Primordial Prophecy has come into play, and the Planes of Existence are falling apart. As Twilight searches for her lost friend, the universe begins to fall apart. With little hope, and even less of an idea of how to stop it, she must find a way to save not only the world... but everything that ever existed.
Chapters (14)
I'm sorry but you can't just discard Celestia like that.
5565685 Don't tell me that... tell Chrysalis!
I am very interested in this story. Although, you could have built up a bit more tension before the end, like maybe putting it in the next chapter. Other than that and a few typos, this is a great story with great promise, especially for a first pony story.
Edit: I don't see where all the dislike is coming from. This is much better than many first fics here.
5567825 Thank you for your feedback!!! The good and the bad is always welcome!!! However... I have plans for the next chapter >insert evil laugh<
a bit quick in some parts, but over all i really like it. in fact i'm looking forward to more.
5571031 Thank you! The pace of this story is intentional, and you will find out why a few chapters in! Glad you're enjoying it!
twilight now has a weapon once the horn of an equestrian ruler, unfortunately it's her own but still, new stabby stick fresh off the forehead-ish area. great chapter, super adorable.
5602142
: Hey Dash! Let's go and stab some ponies with my horn!!!
: DaBuq?
Well, that happened. But, with the word Elysium appearing several times, I think I'm realizing just where Rainbow was all that time...
5614053 SHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
5615471 Okay, okay... jeez. No spoilers.
5615640 Spoilers? *cough cough* who said anything *cough* about *cough cough* spoilers?
(\ Brohoof. I love your story so far it has been great and made me cry. I can't wait for an update¡ (Upside down exclamation points are all the rage XD)
5624326 Awwww... thanks!!! You get a lick from Rainbow!!!
Please, please, please tell me that you did not just kill Twilight. She doesn't deserve this, and I know that Dash definitely doesn't.
So I'm waiting with baited breath for the next chapter to see how this plays out.
Hopefully, it well work out for them both.
A world (or just area) without magic? Hmmm.... don't even tell me this is the human world...
5625507 Well... I'll take your idea into consideration
5628567
...I don't see a "Human" or "Alternate Universe" tag...?
5628970 Thank you.
when i see how stupid the characters are acting about this whole situation:
25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m5qa49Phrh1rul0hko1_500.gif
5707805 lol, which characters?
5708767 twilight and dash.
5708770 Oh yes... if you're a little confused by the way they're acting, just remember how extremely fragile their emotions are right now; both of them terrified of alienating the other, or even loosing them. Plus, Twilight hasn't seen Dash in such a long time, and is still a little nervous after their first encounter.
Hope this explanation helps!
5708940 no no, i get the why (even if i still think it's ridiculous), what i', talking about is their reactions. i mean, twilight gets 'rejected' by dash for a stupid reason, and then runs off into the forest that they know nothing about. she then runs right into a tree, and blacks out. that's the stupid part.
Oh... well if that's the case... please wait until the next chapter.
(also, would you mind putting that last bit in a SPOILER block please?)
Hey, it's the best of both worlds, so yeah, I am!
Seriously, though, hon, if you'd planned having Twilight die, and her stay that way, you shouldn't change your own story-line just because I wished that she'd survive, or that I asked for that. You shouldn't change the way your story is supposed to go for me, or anyone else.
And I mean that.
And btw, you can just call me "Wolf". That's what I usually go by online.
5709383 Change the story for a mere READER?!?!? HA HA HA you're funny
It'd take John de Lancie himself commenting for me to change the way a story goes... you just happen to fit in to my comedy routine!
5709401 Well, I do try.
Really? Cool.
Well, thank you!
Glad to see this continue :-)
6144118 As am I. I have been having a difficult time writing lately due to some overwhelming carpal tunnel, so I'm happy to finally see something out!
6145747
Oh god, the stories I have of Carpal Tunnel. Not fun.
Do yourself a favor and get a wrist brace. Makes typing so much better. Tuck a cold pack in there as well.
Anyway, good chapter. This story's plot has always intrigued me. Though I called the Spike thing as soon as you described the package.
This story started out good, but it later turned into a OOC-ish, cringy and nonsensical twicord shipfic. You should give information about the shipping in the story description, as I were prepared for a tad more serious fic. Actually one of the reasons I started reading this was because of the Discord tag, but your characterization aren't so good in my opinion. Sorry if this feedback is a bit vague. The thing about Twilight apparently dying twice was stupid and uneccesary, and seemed like a easy way out for a nonetheless kinda forced progression of romance. The last problem I had with was the awkward pacing at times.
To summarize, this is not my cup of tea because of OOC-ness (characters reacted not-at-all realistically at times) and a focus on a forced shipping. People may disagree with me on some of these points. These are my observations.
As I said, Discord was the reason for me checking, and I will check the remaining chapter for interesting scenes, then I'm out.
6148295 Where did you come up with Twicord? Seriously.... that's my main question.
Also, Twilight dying twice is a key point to the future of the plot... *coughs nonchalantly*
6147340 why use a wrist brace when typing? I use a pillow.
6193638
A pillow can help you keep proper posture but once you actually have carpal it won't help you. A wrist brace will actually help ease the pain, as well as let it heal faster without having to take a break from writing.
6193819 Oh, that's pretty cool!
6193819 Im using both right now... lol
Hey! I'm typing this and talking to you at the same time. I told you I'd put a comment on the last chapter.
6458099 Joy.
NEXT CHAPTER come on LETS GO
6504047 The entire story is being re-written from the ground up. It's going to be a while.
6505832 ok thanks for telling
6506502 No problem!
Aw, what!? It's not finished!!! Noooooooo!
7024613 Alright, alright!
Gimme' a few days, will ya'?
7024782
A few DAYS?!?@??!$#@?!
Sure
7024785 ...or months...
7197526 Dont take as long for the next chapter lol
7202524 I won't xD