KIDS!!!!!

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Comments ( 10 )

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Ebony Stallion

Ebony Stallion #1 · Jan 8th, 2015 · · · The Start of Our Lives ·

Hey, you did pretty well...except there is just one thing I wanted to point out...

Illusion and Claire did have sex before, though it was pretty...awkward. Here's the pic:

Their First Time.

KomodoBrony

KomodoBrony #2 · Jan 8th, 2015 · · · The Start of Our Lives ·

5480700 Yea I know about that, but I wanted it to seem more romantic for the experience of making a child

Irish Rogue

Irish Rogue #3 · Jan 12th, 2015 · 1 · · The Start of Our Lives ·

meow.

dracone

dracone #4 · Feb 7th, 2015 · 1 · · The Start of Our Lives ·

they’ll be so reliable on you that they won’t need me

I think you meant to say "so reliant on you" I noticed a few other little errors, but this was the first that really caught my attention.

I'm really liking the story.

KomodoBrony

KomodoBrony #5 · Feb 7th, 2015 · · · The Start of Our Lives ·

5598803 I did type that; I just need to disable my stupid auto correct

Glad to hear your liking the story though

dracone

dracone #6 · Feb 7th, 2015 · · · The Start of Our Lives ·

5599574 I found trick with my autocorrect is if you backspace the word and type the last letter again it usually ignores it the second time around, but that's just with the autocorrect I've had to deal with.

KomodoBrony

KomodoBrony #7 · Feb 7th, 2015 · · · The Start of Our Lives ·

5599629 Ill keep that in mind thanks

Blade tormentor

Blade tormentor #8 · Mar 6th, 2015 · · · New Life Gives New Meaning ·

depends on you man if you can are not good job keep it up

dracone

dracone #9 · Mar 7th, 2015 · · · New Life Gives New Meaning ·

laughter to herself in her mind

I think you meant to say "laughing to herself" there were a few other mistakes, but this was the first.

here's another one that needs immideate fixing

The two parents starred lovingly at their child as she slept

I believe you meant to say "stared lovingly at their child" you have to look out for those rogue Rs, I hear they've been causing other authors problems all for a few days now.

Wolfman32