• Member Since 25th Jan, 2014
  • offline last seen 3 hours ago

KomodoBrony


Follower of great writers and artists; I'm here to create stories for artists and spread the word of great writers everywhere, and I'm always willing to accept and give help to everypony

Comments ( 67 )

~so ... When does twilight show up to bring the fillys back ( and possibly Alex ) ?

Why dont you makr the chapters longer?

6325543 cause im switching the characters that are focused on continuously

:fluttershyouch: Not to be rude or anything but... :flutterrage: WHENS THE NEXT CHAPTER :twilightsheepish:

6427016 To dust off an old Relic: Patience is a Virtue

Im not sure when the next chapter is coming out, my schedule is pretty packed as is. Next chance that comes around I assure you that the next chapter will more than likely be coming out before 2016

I am so intrigued to read more on how this will turn out; if he could barely take on scootaloo, will he have the stamina to take on all three. I guess we'll have to find out next time on Dragon Ball Z.

6453163 What exactly suggests she was in heat?:rainbowhuh:

6453631 My bad I confused part of the story with a recent reading called "Adolescence" thank you.

>>KomodoBrony
It's was just a joke bro
No pressure on getting it out A.S.A.P.
Besides gives us ALL something to look forward to :trollestia:

P.s. nice Story picture... So fuzzy

To everyone who is keeping track of this story, it may be awhile before I update again, what with my school schedule slowing me down. combine that with my work schedule and it gives me very little time to think.

Sorry for draggin this out longer than it needs to be.:ajsleepy::twilightsheepish:

6429345 looks at the calaender and says "Well darn it's 2016 already mate when we getting a new chapter" :unsuresweetie: seriously lol I've seen the story and it's prequel for a while now finally read it to see its been forever since it's been updated.:fluttercry: either way really liked what's here so far.

Quick nitpick: no part of this chapter was in 2nd person, even though part of it claimed to be. 2nd Person is when the reader is also the one in the action, so the narration sounds like, "YOU look around," and stuff like that.

Also, you REALLY don't need to label which parts are 3rd person and otherwise. You can tell what it is just by reading it. No story EVER labels what perspective it's written in. It's completely unnecessary.

I'm really not sure what you're alluding to with "shure."

I commented this on another chapter, but once again:

a.) Don't label what perspective it's in. It's completely unneeded.

b.) This is NOT 2nd Person! This is 3rd Person!

Alex saw that she was waiting for something from him, so he decided to speak up. “I really didn’t force her into anything. When I found her I could tell that she was lost and scared so I took her here to try and keep her safe, honest.”

Why did he say that? He can't understand them, so why would he assume that THAT is what they were arguing about?

Some questions are still unanswered but not bad.

I love that picture. . . Makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside.
(ntm: FUCKING ADORABLE)

7619516
oh yeah thanks for reminding me; I need to put the artist's name in the description.:facehoof:

So her tracking spell has a range limit? Just asking since it wasn't really explained and confused me as to why they were searching like that in the first place. Maybe you could/should explain that with the tracking spell in the chapter? :rainbowhuh:

Scootaloo looked at her friend start to cry, and all the anger inside of her faded away; replaced by regret. Without hesitation she ran up and embraced the crying filly, trying her best to calm her down.

You know, I couldn't help but imagine how Scootaloo rubbed her cum-stained bukkaked face into Sweetie's! :rainbowwild: Interestingly enough she didn't even react. I mean, shouldn't there be a reaction to the cum on her face? Just asking you for a bit of saucy humor here, considering it sadly wasn't mentioned. :ajsleepy:

Triggers: Foalcon, Anal, and Beastiality

You got me quite curious with beastiality, since I was wondering if he would buy a dog (he wanted one as I read in one of the chapters), but then I realized that this tag might not come true. I mean, did you really mean beastiality or do you count HumanxFoal already as beastiality? :rainbowhuh:

Looking forward to the next chapter.

How did they open the door...

a vary good chapter love it.

Author's Note:
Sorry this chapter took me so long, I had to refresh my PC and I almost lost the footnotes that I had for this chapter as a result.

FYI external drives are vary cheep and this day and age the normal is 2 gig storage.

8192312
You mean 2 terabytes, right? Because 2 gig was normal for external drives maybe a decade ago.

But even those can fail. I recommend something online instead such as Google Docs; or if keeping the same file format is important, then a cloud storage system that can act similarly to a local folder such as Dropbox or Google Drive.

Edit: I've now read the chapter and note, and see the author chose Google Docs.

One minor error. Your chapter title is not in the same style as the old ones.
Other than that, I'm glad to see you're back.

8192327
you are right 2 tar storage my bade.
yes they can fail but after 15 years I have only hade one fail and to tell the truth I killed that one my self it may have something to do with a cup of coffee.
as to story thing on line never do it, it is to easy to lose things that way and cloud is like having a screen door on a submarine.

That was awesome beyond awesome. Iloved this chapter and can't wait to see what happens ne!!!!!!!!

8192349
An external drive has the same chance of failing as an internal one.
And I have no idea what it is you have against online storage. So long as you don't (intentionally) give other people write access to your files then it is very reliable. I might hesitate to trust it for private or confidential information, but that's not the same issue.

So, anyone who is interested, I have an idea for the last chapter that can be decided by everyone.

If you want to find out how to be a part of it, check out this blog.

Votes within the blog will end after 1 week so give your votes asap.:raritywink:

Oh my! I hope once they are done they bring him to Equestria with them! Heh. Perverted fillies need someone to help relief their stress after all~ :rainbowkiss:

Okay so it's been a week so I'd say that its official that:

1. Sweetie gets anal
2. Scootaloo gets both
3. Applebloom gets vaginal

Thank you to everyone who voted, writing's more fun when you get the community involved.:raritywink::rainbowdetermined2:

8210279
That makes no sense. "protect the score?"
But she misheard it as something completely different?

No, that can't be it. Besides, there aren't scores in karaoke.

8211474
It wasn't karaoke - it was a Dance Dance Revolution-style arcade machine. She jumped into their game and was ruining their score.

8224171
Funny story, that bit was recommended to me by my editor MysticGuitar, he thought that it would be a clever joke, and it seems to be grabbing attention:rainbowlaugh:
:rainbowwild:

8209148 Mmm, I like those results! How about a threesome between the girls involving them eating some pussy and ass? I'd love that. Or how about them taking turns sucking him off and eating his ass whole the other two make love as they watch? It's a shame this chapter was so short, but I enjoyed it nonetheless.

8754491
No i just have a laptop with a broken screen and no job to afford a fix. I tried to leave a blog about it but my phone is stupid.

Wait, how long has it been? Several days minimum and only now have they come looking for her? Unless time dilation offset scaling... Hmmm...

weird reactions from the humans TBH...

well, Scootaloo did have a surprise in store after all... Just maybe not this exact one...

8874379
Uhhhhh ...... I don't fully understand space-time continuum stuff so its up to you on that front:raritywink:

8876360
Essentially, Scoots has been on earth for a few days to over a week, yet only just now are the others arriving to rescue her (without aid of adults no less). The most likely explanation is time dilation offset scaling, which basically means time moves differently between universes and that the difference is offset while traveling such that the real-time time rate is essentially matched during transfers. :twistnerd:

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