Ten years ago the ten western tribes of griffins united to drive the ponies into exile. Now Gemma returns with her father Gus to one of the ponies' old cities with their eyes set on its fertile fields.
But Kelp Town may not be as empty as it first appears. Something haunts the old city streets. Something that steals from traps, and only comes out at night.
The city holds a secret, one that could change everything the griffins knew about themselves and the ponies that once lived among them.
My first mystery story. Contains light animal gore.
Chapters (9)
This is interesting so far. I'll be watching you. >.>
5454566 Thank you so much!
This is my first time trying my hands at horror/mystery stuff.
Interesting, interesting. Not my usual mystery, but you have me intrigued nonetheless. You've made me ask just enough questions to keep me puzzled whilst keeping events flowing enough to stop me from getting bored.
I'll be keeping an eye on this story.
5454852 Thanks for your kind words. I hope you enjoy what's coming up.
5454860 I've often found mystery to be hard to come across. You had my attention when you mentioned mystery earlier on the writers group thread.
We'll see how it develops, anyhow. I think it looks rather promising so far, though.
5454901 Yeah, the mystery group is pretty slim compared to Grimdark or Romance. We don't even get a tag for it.
5454906 Unfortunately. I'm a big Agatha Christie fan and am slowly trudging through loads of her books (barely even scratched the surface) and I play games like L.A. Noire and Sherlock Holmes: Crime and Punishment. I'd love to see more mysteries be a thing, because the only way you can improve a good mystery is by making it pone.
You've made it griffon, but that's okay, you can't get it right all the time.
this is pretty good. there is a good attention to detail and the character interaction seem to be natural so far. i do have one question though: what's with the use of the quotation marks at the end of the chapter?
5573928 Quotation marks?
5573928 Oh, 'pruning', 'weeding'.
It's because he's usually speaking in the griffin language, but since they don't have words for anything agricultural they just use the pony words.
5573948
oh, okay then. guess that makes sense that way.
so, just how long has it been since ponies were last seen? because gus' statement about the stories being around since his grandpa and gus' own personal experiences are giving me two different possible lengths of time.
5574027 The ponies have been gone for ten years, but some griffins were suspicious of them even when they were still running the city. Imagine if talking magical horses set up a colony next to your home town. Some people aren't going to like that,
well then, stuff just got real. interesting.
5574046
while some people wouldn't be all that happy about that, i wouldn't mind. it would be a completely different species randomly appearing out of nowhere. it would be worth a lot more to learn whatever they might know than to just completely hate them for no reason.
Well that's MUCH less horrifying than I expected. XD
From the buildup I wondered if I was reading an Equestrian take on The Shadow over Innsmouth.
Yay, it lives
And what a revival @_@
7522767 You can thank Nightwalker for that. He brought it up last week, and once somebody asks for an update like that I can't say no.
...Than why is there no mystery tag?
7522879 This came out before the tag update. And now I'm grandfathering it because I was here before the Mystery tag, goddammit!