The human in Equestria
The palace walls had always seemed like they were on the verge of collapsing inwards, Celestia thought. No matter how colourful she made her home, she would always feel more comfortable outside. This feeling of claustrophobia only ever got worse when there was a problem afoot... and a problem was most definitely underfoot.
The sun began to set on Equestria, batheing the palace in warm, orange light. It lifted her spirits somewhat, but not enough. If only she had somepony to confide in... but no, there was nopony quite like Celestia. Nopony who'd really understand her. Celestia set her jaw, determined.
She didn't need anypony's help. She had managed for over nine hundred years without some golden friend who understood everything she had been through. No such pony existed, anyhow: it was a childish and selfish thing to think about. Ponies went through hardships too, and they didn't complain about not having a like-minded friend. She wouldn't either.
She strode into a circular room, pristine and elegant, but sterile. A special room for delicate things... some of which were alive. She looked down at a small, writhing, organic creature laid out on a table like some kind of scientific experiment.
No such pony, she thought to herself. But this wasn't a pony, now, was it?
"Is it alive?" she asked, suddenly worried. One of her doctors, a young unicorn mare, nodded.
"Yes, it's breathing. We've patched up its head and chest. There are some similarities with ponies, but we're still a little unsure what's happening to it."
Celestia sighed with relief. That was good: no creature, pony or otherwise, should die unnaturally under her roof. It felt wrong, and somehow insulting. She leaned over the skinny, naked creature. It was time to examine this thing more closely...
Her horn began to glow with golden light, similar to that of the morning sun. Celestia could feel the ripples of magic surround the creature, the sorcery of Equestria bending around it's four pale limbs with the strange set of five smaller limbs on the ends. How did they move? And what was the magical field doing?
"Your Highness? What do you see?" asked the doctor, curious. Without stopping her investigation, Celestia began to explain.
"Our land is rejecting this... thing. It can't expel it back to wherever it came from on it's own, but it can't abide it's shape... it's aura, so to speak. I can't say why, for sure."
"Will it survive?"
Celestia smiled, and nodded.
"Oh, most certainly. All that's happening is that it will change shape."
"What will it change into?"
Celestia's horn stopped glowing, plunging the room into the faint blue light of twilight.
"A pony."
Vinyl Scratch groaned with annoyance. School didn't make things any better, as far as she was concerned: it was all just a whole load of worthless spells and pointless history. Why? Why was she supposed to care that some pony had gone evil some nine hundred years ago? Did it really matter now?
And to make things worse, she had been picked on. Again.
Vinyl sniffed back a tear: she had promised herself she'd be a tough filly, and tough fillies didn't cry. It was okay for tough fillies to be blank flanks, wasn't it? Her father said so, and so had that nice young colt.
Not having a cutie mark wasn't a great way to make friends, though. All the popular ponies had cutie marks. Trixie had hers, after all, even if Vinyl wasn't sure what it was meant to be. That snooty prince kid had his, too.
The schoolyard was loud and noisy with every schoolpony running around and playing. Not Vinyl, though: she was a blank flank, and blank flanks weren't allowed to play, according to Sunset.
Of course, there were a few other fillies who didn't play. There was Simple Shiver... but she was just shy. And then there was Sparkie.
Sparkie was really good in class, but she had no friends. It wasn't because she was a blank flank, though... she already had her cutie mark. Vinyl sighed and looked at her own pristine white sides: whatever mark was meant to be there would probably never come.
"Psst!" came a hiss from behind her. Vinyl looked around, before finding the source of the noise. She beamed when she recognized the nice colt from before: the one who had told her that cool ponies could be blank flanks too. He was outside the playground: he didn't attend Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns, and wasn't allowed in.
"Oh, hi!" Vinyl said, happy to see her friend. The little grey earth pony colt grinned: Vinyl remembered his name was something like Octavier.
"Hi!" he replied, his accent making Vinyl giggle: it sounded very deep and low. Hearing the giggle, he pouted. "What?"
"You just sound really cool is all. Aren't you supposed to be at school?"
Octavier shook his head, beaming. "No! We finished early today."
Vinyl pouted, jealous. Octavier looked over at the other filly on her own: Sparkie. "Isn't she lonely?"
Vinyl shrugged. "I tried being her friend once, but she just kept reading her book. That's all she cares about."
"What's her name?" Octavier asked.
"Sparkie."
Sparkie looked up, exasperated. "It's not Sparkie! That's just something Blueblood came up with!"
Vinyl trotted over to her, Octavier following Vinyl on the other side of the fence. "Well, what is your name then? I've always called you Sparkie."
"I'm Octavier."
"It's Twi-light Sparkle," Sparkie told them, as if a little confused by her own name. "Because I was born at twilight."
"I'm still Vinyl Scratch: because we had this super precious vinyl model of a thing, I forget what it was, and when I was a baby, I messed it up."
Sparkie frowned. "That's a strange reason to be named something."
"Why don't you have any friends?" Octavier asked. Sparkie grumbled.
"What kind of a question is that?"
"Vinyl said you just read books and stuff."
"I like books. They're... familiar. Books are the same everywhere."
Octavier tilted his head to the side. "You're weird."
Sparkie scrunched up her nose defensively. "Your... your face is weird!"
Instead of being insulted, Octavier just laughed. Vinyl couldn't help but giggle along with her. Before they could stop, the bell began to ring, signalling that it was time they get back to class. Vinyl groaned.
"Ohh! I guess I have to go now," she told Octavier. The young pony smiled, suddenly a lot more shy than before.
"Uh, yeah! Okay. Uhm..."
Vinyl felt like she should leave, but it would be rude to go without hearing what Octavier had to say. Sparkie closed her book and prepared to leave.
"Uhm... I'll see you around later, then?" Octavier asked. Vinyl grinned, and nodded.
"Sure thing! You're really cool."
Octavier beamed, and trotted away. "Wonderful! See you later!"
Vinyl hesitated, then skipped up to Sparkie again. "I like Octavier. He's nice."
Sparkie couldn't help but smile. "You know it's not Octavier, it's Octavia? As in octave, a music thing? Also, I'm pretty sure she's a girl."
Vinyl felt like the world dropped out from under her. "Are you sure?"
"Yup. Her voice is really deep, though."
Vinyl tilted her head to the side. "Huh. She's still a nice filly, though."
Sparkie looked down at the ground. "I guess. I just want to finish my book."
Spike was struggling to keep up with Twilight's own specific brand of organized mayhem: teleporting from book to book, snatching them up in a magical field before moving onto her next shelf. Spike groaned. The only time she had been this exited was when she had began researching the lost Library of Alhexandria, the largest collection of all things arcane in Equestria.
"I just don't understand why you think Winter Wrap Up is so special!" he told her. "It's just a bunch of ponies clearing out snow!"
Twilight landed on the wooden floor of her library, the books clattering onto a table. "Yes, but it's... well, it's exactly that! No magic. It's..."
Spike saw her hesitate. "Boring?"
Twilight tapped her hoof, annoyed. "No! It's— and I can't believe I'm using Rainbow's word— awesome. Do you know how often ponies manage without magic?"
Spike shrugged. "All the time?"
"Never! Pegasus fly, Unicorns use spells, and Earth Ponies use their own kind of magic. They never try to find any other way around their problems, it's just... magic, magic, always magic!"
Spike narrowed his eyes. He didn't like it when Twilight began referring to ponies as 'they'.
"But all you know is magic. That's kind of hypocritical, isn't it?"
Twilight flicked one of her books open, annoyed. "Well, I'm sorry about that. My super special talent is magic, and books. It's all I have."
"Your super special talent is not books," Spike replied, trying to change the conversation topic. "I have no idea why you like books so much, but it isn't because of your cutie mark."
Twilight looked at the pictures of ponies clearing away snow and planting seeds. Sure, everything looked strange, but it also felt wholesome.
Spike grumbled. He had been afraid that moving away from Celestia might be too big of a change for Twilight, always so shy, strange, and reserved. If it wasn't for her letters back to her teacher, he didn't know what might have happened to Twilight.
"Okay, well, you enjoy reading," he said. "I'll be going for a walk. Try not to mess the library up too much."
Twilight nodded, and Spike left. He had to discuss this with somepony. Once he was outside, he looked around for one of her new friends. Preferably one of the more reasonable ones. Even more preferably, Rarity. Just so long as whoever it was could give him advice without their usual Ponyville madness.
"Spike!" came a voice from above. Spike groaned. He had wanted a reasonable pony.
"Yes, Rainbow Dash?" he asked, looking up at the colourful pegasus swooping down towards him. She was smiling: she was always smiling when she flew.
"You look lost. You know the library is just behind you, right?"
Spike groaned. "Actually, I was looking for advice: Twilight's acting weird again. I don't suppose you've seen Rarity? Applejack? Maybe even Fluttershy?"
Rainbow shook her head. "No, no, and no. But hey: I'm great at advice!"
"I was actually hoping for somepony with a cool head."
"I'm the coolest pony around!" Rainbow exclaimed, pawing the ground with her hoof, a wild, manic grin on her face. "C'mon, tell me what's up!"
Spike sighed. "Well... okay. But promise not to tell everypony?"
"Uh, 'kay. They don't call me Rainbow 'keep your mouth shut and don't tell a soul' Dash for nothing."
"Uh... right."
"Hey, did I ever tell you about Mayor Mare's drinking problem?"
"This was a bad idea."
Rainbow rolled her eyes. "I was kidding! She doesn't have a drinking problem."
Spike muttered to himself darkly before continuing. "Okay, whatever. You know Celestia sent Twilight here so she could make friends, right?"
Rainbow nodded. "Yeah. Good choice, too: all the cool ponies live here."
"Well, she wouldn't have needed to is Twilight could make friends on her own. She's sort of... shy."
"She didn't seem shy to me. Just a bit cold."
Spike nodded. "Yes, it can seem that way. She never really understood ponies. I don't know why, since she's met more than her share, but every now and then, she gets all weirded out by pegasi, or unicorns. She seems a bit happier around earth ponies, though, and I don't know why."
"But isn't she a unicorn? Why'd she find her own tribe weird?" Rainbow asked. Spike shrugged.
"I don't know. I expect this went on since before I was born, and she never told me why. But before Celestia left for Canterlot, after we turned Nightmare Moon back to good, the Princess had a private word with me."
Rainbow was sufficiently intrigued at this point. "Yeah?"
"Celestia wanted me to keep an eye on her, and make sure she didn't start acting... weird. And even told me that if I thought anything was off, I was to write back to her."
"That's kinda' strange."
"I know. And she's acting weird now, all obsessed with doing things the 'earth pony way'."
"This about Winter Wrap Up?"
"Yes."
Rainbow tapped her chin. "Well... I'm no expert about crazy basket-cases..."
Spike raised his eyebrow at the term. "That's polite of you."
"...But I'd say that we should trust her. She may be acting weird, but that's no reason to worry about it. It'll only make things tougher for her if she can't put her faith in us."
"But what if..."
"I think Twi' earned some trust, anyway. I mean, she's allowed to like things. If she's super into doing things the earth pony way, that's no big deal. If she starts wailing about some weird bookworm problem, then maybe call Celestia."
Spike sighed. "So I'm worrying about nothing?"
"Yeah, pretty much," Rainbow said. "But for what it's worth, you're doing a great job keeping an eye on her."
Spike rolled his eyes. "Yeah, sometimes I wonder which one of us is really the adult."
"Easy: it's Applejack," Rainbow said. In a conspirational whisper, she added: "It's always Applejack."
"...and I think that's all the serious I'm going to get out of you," Spike muttered. "Thanks for the advice. It helps."
"You got it! Gotta' fly!"
With a powerful jump, Rainbow flew into the air, disappearing with a whoosh. Spike sighed, and went back to the library.
Maybe it was time to ask Celestia why Twilight acted so strangely.
The Crystal Empire really was a special place, Cadence thought to herself. Particularly at morning. It was the special way that the sun hit the semi transparent buildings, reflecting the light into a kaleidoscope of colour that shone across the entire land. It was nothing short of magical.
She was just disappointed that Twilight didn't seem to be enjoying the view as much as her.
The young alicorn was standing, alone with Spike, on one of the balconies overlooking the town, although her eyes were fixed firmly on the ground. Cadence flew over to her, desperate to put a smile on her friend's face again.
"Twilight! You look sad. Aren't you glad to be back?" she asked. Twilight looked up at the Princess, and gave a wan smile.
"Oh, I am. It's nice to be back in hooves again," she admitted. "Although the place beyond the mirror... definitely felt familiar."
"So why aren't you smiling? You should be with your friends, enjoying yourself. You saved the world, and even reformed Sunset Shimmer. I'd say that's cause for celebration."
"We celebrated quite enough over there," Twilight admitted. Spike nodded.
"It was really fun, too," he said.
"So..."
"Well, it's just that... in the end, it ended up being a magical place, just like here. Not... you know."
Cadence suddenly became serious. "The place you keep on dreaming about?"
"Yeah."
Spike grumbled. "So you know about that too?"
"Of course I do. I am a Princess, after all," she explained to Spike.
Twilight sighed. "I can't really remember anything from over there. Adjusting to hands and legs was beyond strange. I had always thought that it was some sort of dream. That I had never been... different," she said. "It wasn't a dream at all though, was it? I came from a real place. A place without magic."
Cadence sat down. She hadn't really thought it would come to this, even though Celestia had warned her that going through the mirror might trigger... memories.
"Over the years, me and Celestia worked very hard trying to figure out where you came from... and if you could be sent back," she began. Twilight's ears flicked with interest. "We collected all the information we had gathered on you upon your arrival, and began theorizing. It's still something I work on to this day."
"What did you find out?" Twilight asked.
"Celestia isn't sure, but just before Luna came back, she theorized that you weren't an accident: you were sent in order to save Equestria from eternal darkness. She was never able to prove her theory, and neither could I, but it does seem awfully convenient. When Celestia began arranging matters for you to use the elements, a few other ponies in the know thought she had finally lost it."
"I can't believe Celestia ever 'losing it'."
"Neither can I. I supported her too... if only because her plan involved you making friends," Cadence said, jokingly. Spike chuckled.
"I'll say."
"Ha, ha," Twilight droned. "Very funny."
Cadence shrugged. "It didn't seem funny at the time. Celestia had always meant for you to have a happy life in Equestria, and she never liked seeing you alone. You have to admit, you didn't have a lot of friends back in Canterlot."
"I had you, and Shiny. And Spike."
Cadence nodded. "Of course you did: we weren't going to leave you alone, after all."
"Did you ever find out why I'm so good at magic?" Twilight asked. Cadence tapped her chin.
"Well, we believed there were two reasons: the first was that, when you arrived, a lot of magic was, well, I guess 'beamed' is the best I can come up with, into you, which gave you a natural affinity for it. And then, when you developed an interest in it, your pony body took it to be your super-special-talent, and that was that."
"Huh."
"Celestia took it as a sign that you were meant to be the one to save Equestria. She doesn't really believe in coincidences."
Twilight smiled. "No, she doesn't. I don't know what I would have done without her. Or my parents."
"Yes, they really were quite brave to take you on. A lot of the other ponies who knew were afraid of you. Not her, though."
"Or me!" Spike added.
"Well, we didn't tell you until Winter Wrap Up, when you began asking questions," Cadence retorted. Spike shrugged.
"I still put up with her weirdness."
Twilight laughed. "I wasn't that weird."
"I have pictures."
Cadence chuckled, glad that Twilight's tension seemed to be easing away. "So you're definitely more comfortable as a pony now?" she asked.
"I guess I am. I hadn't really known for sure until I went back to being human... even if it was still in a magical place."
Cadence grinned. "You have no idea how happy it makes me to hear that."
Celestia held the young filly in her hooves, her face grave. The child looked like she could be no older than five, and she had no idea how old it had been upon arrival, or what effect this transition would have on her mind.
The doctor she had spoken to earlier was the only one left: everypony else had been scared of this new, small, delicate foal.
"What are you going to do with her?" she asked. Celestia sighed.
"I suppose I'll find an orphanage for her. Keep a careful watch on her, too. I'm still not sure why she arrived here, and that's rather... unsettling."
"She won't do well in an orphanage: she's still adjusting to her new body, and if the other ponies ask her about her past, what will she answer?"
Celestia looked over at the doctor. "You have another suggestion?"
"I... I do. Me and my husband... well, we've got space in our house. And we were thinking about having another child anyway."
Celestia raised her eyebrow, understanding what the mare was offering. "Really? I didn't expect this of you."
"I'm not as easily frightened as other ponies, your Highness. I once had to deliver minotaur triplets... and believe me, those little critters have sharp horns."
Celestia chuckled. "I can't imagine that was pleasant for—"
"And if you think they were bad, just wait 'till I tell you about their mother..."
"Yes, I was about to get to that part."
"And anyway," the doctor continued, "This way it will be easier for you to keep an eye on her, right? I am one of your doctors."
Celestia held up her hoof. "You don't need to convince me, miss Velvet. I'm sure that you and your family will be perfect for her."
The mare beamed. "Oh, Night Light's going to be so happy!" she exclaimed a little tearfully as Celestia handed her the small filly. "D-do you want to name her?"
Celestia smiled. "Well, it is twilight. I don't suppose you'd mind if she shared your name?"
Doctor Twilight Velvet grinned. "Not at all... not at all."
Shining Armour smiled as he was handed the letter. Cadence smiled as the piece of paper passed hooves. "I think you'll find the picture particularly nice."
Shining was a little apprehensive: he hadn't been made aware of Celestia's decision to send his sister to Ponyville, and he still wasn't entirely sure he agreed. Putting her out there, all alone, sounded like asking for trouble.
"Why do you say that?" he asked, still thinking. He thought back to when he got the news of Twilight defeating Nightmare Moon: in one moment, all of Celestia and Cadences crazy theories had seemed all too real. It didn't matter to Shining: whatever Twilight had been before, she was his sister, and that was all that mattered to him.
She wasn't supposed to be some crazy prophesized pony: she was just a talented pony who he cared for dearly.
"Just look, will you?" his marefriend told him insistently. Shining obliged.
The picture was of Twilight, but for the first time he could remember, she wasn't alone. She was with five... no, six, if you counted the dragon... other ponies. There was a pink earth pony, two pegasi, one of which had the most ridiculously coloured mane he had ever seen, a beautiful, pristine unicorn, and another earth pony in a hat. These must have been the other Elements Celestia had mentioned.
And right in the centre was his sister. She looked so happy.
He turned his eyes towards the letter, Cadence's hoof brushing his mane gently.
Dear brother,
I understand you may be worried about me. I've never been so far away from home, but the truth is, I feel like I belong here more than anywhere else. The ponies here are more friendly than any others I've met.
And don't worry about my secret: I know that it will just cause trouble if I tell everypony about where I came from. But every time I'm around my friends, I get the impression they wouldn't mind even if I did.
So, I guess what I'm trying to write is this: I'm really happy here. Happier than I've ever been before: I feel that this is my true calling.
Say hi to mom and dad for me!
Twi
"See? I told you you'd like it," Cadence told Shining.
Shining smiled, and folded the letter neatly.
"Yeah... yeah, you did."
So that was it, then? After over ten years, Twilight had finally adjusted to living in Equestria?
It had taken her long enough.
Shirley could barely keep her eyes open. She let her head rest against the door of the car, the vibrations of the vehicle occasionally jostling her head, hard enough to annoy her but not wake her.
All the lights of the road shone from behind her eyelids. The yellowy-green lights from the lamps, the ones that cast scary shadows through her curtains at, came and went periodically, hypnotizing her. There were also the headlights of the cars on the opposite lane, blinding her with bright white light before disappearing with a whooshing sound. Afterwards all she'd see was the red as they shot away into the night.
She stifled a yawn, and held her small toy even closer.
"When do we get home?" she asked, still keeping her eyes shut.
"Soon, darling," was the reply. "We're almost past Clackmannanshire."
Shirley heard her father yawn. It looked like he was just as tired as she was. It had been a long car journey.
Suddenly, Shirley woke up. The car swerved violently to the left. She opened her eyes and desperately looked around.
"Blast!" her father exclaimed, right before Shirley heard a terrifying grinding and crashing sound. The right side of the car imploded inwards, the metal snapping and bending and throwing shards of glass everywhere, hitting her in the face. Shirley screamed, horrified and shocked.
The force of the impact threw her and her father back, and then they collided with something hard on the left side of the car too.
They had been sandwiched between another car, and the side of Clackmannanshire bridge. The window directly to her left shattered as well, and her seatbelt slammed into her chest due to her momentum, making her want to throw up. Her head continued moving until it hit the window, her body trapped by the seatbelt.
She heard something snap.
Her vision was blurred when she tried lifting her head from the window again, and the only thing she could really make out was her father try to climb out of the car and get to her. When his hand touched the railing of the bridge, it left a red stain behind.
Scared, Shirley looked at her own hands. They were drenched in red. She looked over at the broken window her head had collided with: it must have opened up a deep gash on her head.
She was starting to feel very cold. She tried to grasp at her toy as she struggled to breathe.
Her little purple unicorn doll.
As her ears rang and her father tried to get to her, she closed her eyes again.
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- Phantom Wolf · 1.5k words · 41 2 · 1.9k views
- HapHazred · 11k words · 36 3 · 1k views
- Necrogen Lord · 7.7k words · 71 7 · 1.2k views
- Gherkin · 1.3k words · 97 7 · 4.7k views
- Regina Wright · 5.1k words · 70 5 · 1.5k views
- Kersey475 · 110k words · 84 9 · 3.3k views
Stats
Page generated in 0.137 seconds
Total duration
981 users online
1,448,434 hits today, 1,996,409 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
That was very well done. It was very interesting. I like it! No..I loved it!!!! Great Job!
5450017 Allow me to respond with a neato burrito, and thanks for reading.
5450034 No problem, I enjoyed it
A very nice story, I'm a little disapointed it wasn't the start of a longer tale
yeah, it has the nice potential to be a long chapter story. my favorite kind. i love it
I loved this.
5450071
5450159
Awfully sorry, but my goldfish level attention span has a hard time managing long stories. Glad you liked this one, though!
so twilight is scottish?
5450263 Born 'n reyz'd 'n Edinburgh, aye!
I wanted the crash to happen on a bridge, because reasons. For some reason the first bridge I thought of was Clackmannanshire bridge, because I often pass by there when I visit family.
So yes. Shirley is Scottish, by my headcannon.
Not bad. Not bad at all.
5450450 Cheers.
5450281
This is decent. Nice characterization, interesting idea. It's pretty disorganized, what with how it keeps bouncing between different times without any warning or apparent logic. If it was edited to have a more natural flow of events, it would be really good.
Usually the description HiE is somewhat deterrent for me. You know, because of the loads and loads of "Have a bad live here, but then I went to equestria and befriendet the Mane 6"-stories.
Tough i gave it a shot. Maybe for I saw your avatar near some interesting stories.
But...
This story is... AWESOME. Really. Setup, execution and that twist. Woah. Liked and faved.
Pan's Labyrinth anyone?
I liked both the idea and how it was executed.
She was just the right age to know something was wrong but adapt to her new circumstances.
Quite an interesting one shot I have to say. I also like the way you cut up the parts of the story and didn't put them in chronological order. Most of the time doing something like that ruins a story, but in this one it feels just right.
Well done, here have a moustache.
5450677
5451542
The order I put the parts in was both experimental and specific. I had the idea rather early on that the events of increasing import, and benchmarked by her arrival. She begins by being lonely at school then Spike acknowledges her problem and is shown to care for her, then she gets some closure on her past, her mother takes her into her family, and finally Shining sees that she's finally adapted to her situation and made some friends, even if that was before her journey to the 'human' world. And to finish it all off, I finished the story where she began: as a human. Each of those parts is a step of increasing significance towards her being equine, and more importantly, being happy.
Of course, due to pretty much everything in this story being an experiment, from the subject to how it was written, I never expected it to please everyone. I pretty much took everything I've learned to avoid and ran with it whilst cackling insanely. And as predicted, some people like how I did it, others less so. My ego was in the driving seat this whole time for this story.
In both cases, thanks a bunch for your reviews! And cheers for stopping by. Hope this explains what was going through my (probably inebriated) head at the time.
5450760 I've been waiting in nervous anticipation for someone commenting exactly what you've just commented. I was well aware of the tropes going in, because I've never liked those tropes, and I wanted to give a shot at doing it better. I kind of meant for the title to be a little misleading.
Ironically, I actually took the same tropes of the human befriending the mane six and proving vital at defeating some great villain and used them in my story, but hopefully everyone was too distracted by Twilight being a human and the adjustments she has to make to properly notice. At least, that was the goal.
Glad you like it!
This reminds me of something I saw on TVTropes' WMG page for MLP, long, long ago, in 2011. Basically, it was a theory that Rarity was a human who was teleported to Equestria, based on some odd mannerisms (such as the well-known "we're not decent!" "Rarity, we don't normally wear clothes" bit, and her saying "I'll just stay here and wallow in... Whatever ponies wallow in", note the third-person). I'll see if I can find it and edit it into this comment.
EDIT: Here it is -
I'll admit though, this fic is a lot more interesting than that theory. It has more impact when it's Twilight, y'know?
5452254 Cheers. I confess I'm a little curious to see it.
Interesting. I always just thought that Rares be crazy.
Cheers! I'm glad it was interesting.
This is something different. It gave me the feels too. I noticed a few errors thought:
* Given that ponies do not usually wear clothes, so Vinyl Scratch should have noticed that Octavia is a filly.
* Twilight Velvet is a mare, so she is Doctrix Twilight Velvet.
After surviving the accident, I get the terrible impression that the transformation is painful.
I wonder whether Princess Twilight Sparkle would like being a technicolored ape indefinitely:
* She is very used to using magic.
* Although, unlike fillies, girls do not poop, if she stays in the world of the pastel-colored apes, she will start to menstruate. I wonder ¿whether she would prefer not having to poop but having to menstruate or vice versa?
The beginning the story implies that Princess Celestia might not be a pony. I wonder with all Alicorns start of as beings from other universes, become some sort of pony upon entering the Universe with the nation of Equestria, eventually undergo apotheosis and ascend to Alicorns. If so, I wonder ¿whether Princesses Luna and Mi Amore Cadenza know that they are from other universes and were not born ponies? This story definitely has interesting worldbuilding.
I wonder what happened to the parents of Shirley. I have a bad feeling about their fate.
5452574
call me a typical male, but that never even crossed my mind.
Well they're not happy, that's for sure.
Glad you read it, and those are some interesting theories about the other alicorns.
5453782
"that never even crossed my mind"
He lies
5453993
5452079
Woah. Now I did recognize what you did. Well played, Hazard Pony, well played 
using the standard-cliche on one likes in this way.
You madam/sir are a genius.
5454258 I have my moments.
Still, I only meant to begin with Twilight being a human, which explained why she had a hard time making friends. The ramifications of this only hit me until later, but I thought it was ironic and I ran with it, and changed the title to make it sound a little cliché. After all, every time I hear 'human in equestria' I think whiny teenager teleported to ponyland after he suffers a tragic accident: the trope is almost always on the homepage somewhere. I kind of wanted people to be sceptical, but be surprised at the direction I took.
My favourite part of this is I just swapped things around by letting the MLP staff write my protagonist for me. All I had to manage was making Twilight a halfway believable human: the show would tell the rest of the story.
That's the theory, anyway.
5453782
Technically, it is an hypothesis. You know its answer since this is your universe.
What a TWIST on HiE! Have a like!
5579266 Well, this is what happens when I try to subvert genres.
Thank you for reading! Glad you enjoyed it.
I enjoyed this story about Twi. Although I don't like many HiE's, I enjoyed it. The reason for me not liking many HiE's is because it saddens me that we can't enter the mythical world of Equestria.
5709987 Odd you should say that, since I agree with you on both counts (not usually liking HiE and them making me sad) but for me the context is wholly different.
Typically, I get annoyed with HiE because they can often be rather senseless. Granted, you can get a few chuckles out of them, but the novelty of the 'clashing cultures' idea wore out it's welcome quickly. They also often followed similar tropes I came to dislike. You can't throw a comment about HiE without someone reciting the typical tropes at you: just scroll down here and you'll likely find a few.
But it was the realization that HiE is quite good at melancholy that turned it around for me. They're awfully good at naturally making me feel a bit sad, so when they try to tackle that well, I tend to admire them for it. So, ironically, I like them because they have the potential to make me sad, as opposed to the other way around. It's just that they don't do that often, unfortunately, and typically resort to comedy and surprise value (at least in my experience).
Granted, I still typically dislike HiE, but at least in my opinion, they are good for something, and I hope I captured a little of that here, even if this story was basically a huge experiment, from the time-shifts to me even doing a HiE in the first place.
Also, wow, that was a long response to a comment. Thank you for reading, and glad you enjoyed it!
5710021 No problem with the wall of text, I like reading what somepony has to say to me. Yeah, HiE's are good in that aspect, you hit this one right on the nail. The only reason I read this HiE is because I believe that you're a great fanfic writer and I just wanted to see what you'd be able to do with it. Turns out everyone of your stories are great, can't wait to read your whole collection. I just finished the fruit thief, Yuuuus! AppleDash HAS to be my favorite, Genre? Type? Whatever you call it, it's fantastic.
Is it just me or did your story seem out of order? The last part should have been the first part, the fifth part should have been the second part, the second part should have been the third part...Need I go on? Why did your write your story so out of order like that? Other than that it was a nice story.
5822017 I did, as a matter of fact, have a reason. I was in a very experimental mood (so I'm not blaming you for disagreeing or nuthin') but each bit was increasingly important for Twilight to adapt to her new environment. She begins by being lonely at school then Spike acknowledges her problem and is shown to care for her, then she gets some closure on her past, her mother takes her into her family, and finally Shining sees that she's finally adapted to her situation and made some friends, even if that was before her journey to the 'human' world. I also made a point of having it start and end with her as a human.
In all fairness, I wrote this a bit to mess up with HiE conventions, so I decided to mess up conventional storytelling too. I get that it won't please everyone, but there it is.
5822030 Ok. I still think ya should have put the car crash part first prior to Celestia transforming her, but I get how the rest of the story is meant to work now.
Oh My Celestia. I think this might be the best Fanfiction I've read on the site.
Please make like a prequel, or something! This character Shirley seems
like a lot of fun to just play along with. Like even a slice of life, A
snippet of her mind before she was Ponified would add to the effect
of the story!
Love from,
Cmg12344
5984471 Oh, I'm sure if you look hard enough, you'll find a story that eclipses my own. It just might take a very long while.
I have considered returning to Shirley/human Twilight, but for the moment I think the story I wanted to tell about her has been told. She has adapted to pony life and will be happy for the remainder of whatever the show throws at her.
I did write another character in another story (Pony Next Door) with Shirley in mind (also a human story). There was a woman who worked in forensics and enjoyed science and discovery, and she had an unnamed child who was going to boarding school. I like to think that would have been the Shirley from this story had she remained behind. I named her mother Shirley too for similar reasons.