This isn't my House!

by treg388

This was my Closet...

The man strolled happily through his home, opening doors, peeking inside, then closing them again. He was only two days from the all clear and so far it seemed like he would finally be free. At last no more lugging a heavy bag with him everywhere. No more worrying about smashing his shin in the middle of the night because a room had switched and given him a coffee table. No more unnecessary strains on his bank account. Finally things would be normal again!

With some pep in his step the man moved down the main hallway, stopping to back up shortly after he passed by an open closet door. The closet in question was still his own, so that was a good sign. What cause him to back up, however, was the large pile of animals stacked up inside it like some sort of living Jenga game.

With a sigh the man stepped into the closet to break up.. whatever it was that was going on exactly. As he bent over to disperse the pile of animals something happened, the door shut itself.

The man immediately straightened and spun himself around, trying to open the door back up. It wouldn't budge. His gut began to sink as a familiar sensation took hold of him, the sensation that one of rooms was no longer his. Releasing his breath in the manner of someone who has admitted defeat, the man turned back to interior of the closet to pick out his best hat and his best coat. If he was going to be part of the swap he would at least be presentable.

A mint green unicorn rolled her eyes under her white and teal mane for the fifth time in a row. She looked over her back to assure her marefriend that they still had plenty of time to get to the party and that her stopping to get her winter saddle from the closet would not somehow make them late.

The cream coated pony, who sported a blue and pink mane, she was addressing simply huffed and stood next to the open front door, tapping a hoof impatiently. The unicorn just smirked and lit up her horn to open the closet.

The unicorn was quickly engulfed in a tidal wave of fur and feathers that washed over her and out into the streets of the town. The cream pony was utterly flabbergasted at the sight of her marefriend being the victim of a spontaneous stampede originating in their closet, but was still capable of rushing forward to see if she was alright.

It only took a moment for the mare to realize that not all of the animals had left the closet...

The man towered over the two mares without even trying. His brain slowly taking in what it was seeing before directing his gaze upwards towards the open door. He should try to get a look at where he's wound up.

He stepped over the unicorn and past the stunned from shock mare, only pausing in the doorway to look over his shoulder and mutter out words in much the same way a mountain might try to whisper to a butterfly. “Sorry for the inconvenience.”

The man stepped out into the street and took in his new surroundings. Pastel colored ponies, pegasi, and unicorns were absolutely everywhere. Each one stopping in their usual routine to look towards the strange biped that had shown up in their town. The man couldn't help but let out a small chuckle as he steered his eyes up to the sky. “Well, this isn't my house...”

Author's Note:

Yup, that's the end.
It's over.
All done.
What becomes of the man? I dunno. Something hilarious I'm sure, but I won't be the one to tell it.
Anyways thanks to all of you for reading, it's been a real crazy what with this being my second fanfic, first completed.

~Treg

Comments

[Selias]

Perfect ending. I hope someone decides to write a sequel. If they do, could you update this with a link to it?

[Muhanoid]

Okay. I will honestly say.
THIS ending was unexpected.

[3748996328]

Don't let it end like this PLEASE! I BEG OF YOU!

[YorkBrony]

Genius

[treg388]

2013202>>2013198
*puts on his scumbag hat and rides the space whale into the sun*
BWAHAHAHAHAHA!

[Barrel-of-fun]

After all he has gone through, that man has gained a tolerance to the weird and unusual that is nearly godlike. He gets transported to another world through his closet and all he can say is "Sorry for the inconvenience."

His jimmies aren't even slightly rustled.

[Detective Chmilewsky]

An excellent tale of one man's struggle against impossible circumstances.
-New York Times

Why are we giving a good rating for a fanfiction? We're a news service.
-CNN

Reading this story made my dick hard again.
-Hugh Heffner

A tale for the ages.
-USA Today

[Azurus]

question: what will he do when he finds all for his things and his truck wrapped around a tree?

[CoastalSarv]

It's a wonderful end; it's been a wonderful journey!

[treg388]

2013245
The world may never know...

[Sandman]

I can only imagine what will happen when he meets Rarity.

"I know that butt!"
"Excuse me?!"
"Now give me back my chair."

[Weeeman]

calitreview.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/01/citizen-kane-clapping-gif.gif

A great end for a great story.

[Lazysteve]

Oh man that was great. Whether we see a continuation or not this story was a fun read from start to finish. Though I would love to see how The Man, with his tollerance level shaped to that of a wall "bring on all of your shit", would handle his sudden departure of (what was "somewhat") normal reality.

[kingtiger666]

2013218

I have cancer.
- Roger Ebert

This is a perfect example of Obama's War on Fanfiction.
- Bill O'Rielly

... What's a human, and why are his rooms going to Equestria?
- Twilight Sparkle

This guy says he's from the future! More drinks, barkeep! Oh, what? Yeah, it was pretty good. Now hurry up, we're dry over here!
- Ernest Hemingway

At last, something that puts even my work to shame. Thank you, treg, for this inspiration!
- Pen Stroke

Clean like a champ!
- Nascar Talking Soap (yes, it's a thing and yes, I own one)

[BeastialMoon]

The man's rooms had finally stopped swapping. But something inside of him just... Snapped. His mental capacity for tolerance had forced him over the edge, landing him in the wide wide world of the mentally deranged. He began seeing ponies everywhere, and no amount of psychiatric analyzation could help.

He now lives out the rest of his days as a mental wreck in a state hospital.

[SuperPinkBrony12]

So it's over huh. Well looks like the man is never going to see his house again.

At least Lyra's happy, I think.

[warpd]

We must discover why all these shenanigans occurred!
Or not, fun story.

[EvilBob]

Poor guy... he was *THAT CLOSE* to getting all-clear...

Oh well. At least it took it all in stride. It's almost like someone was diabolically planning his eventual transfer to Equestria and easing the process by switching out his rooms...

Too bad we can't find out what happens to him or why this all happened to begin with. Will Set eventually come rescue him since he has the coordinates? Who knows...?

[Curious]

2013687
He IS being rather cavalier about the matter. Ah well, I'm pretty sure that after all the rooms in your house get swapped out for somebody else's rooms, not much else tends to bother you, especially when it comes to spacial displacement. Not that I am speaking from experience, of course.

[theRedBrony]

Damn good fic.

[Snowy Flanks]

I really liked this sotry, If a sequel does comes I will be excited to see and read it

[Vicron]

The man later went on to seriously disturb every living thing in Equestria, except for Pinkie Pie, by being unaware of his telepathic communication abilities.

[Vicron]

2013217 It's so true. It's like he has some voice constantly saying in the back of his mind, "No tears now, only dreams."

[Darth_Biomech]

I demand sequel! Or epilogue, at least...

[Rezival]

Great ending! A sequel would be awesome, if someone else writes it let us know ok.

[themadkossak]

I almost thought this was dead for a while. Bravo good sir, I enjoyed it thoroughly

[RaptorCalloftheShadows]

:| Do not troll us like this, Good Author. You must write a sequel. Do not leave us off on this note, I beg you ;_;

[Ravengt]

2013742 Yup he'd probably given up a long LONG time ago.

[TickleGremlin]

Oh this needs a sequel. He finds all his rooms again!

And then he and his rooms and and his car and everypony can be happy

[Cedric Bale]

HAH
HE WAS FINALLY PART OF THE SWAP
HAHAHAHA

This was the absolutely perfect ending. It could not possibly have been a better one. All of my kudos.

[Timber the wood pony]

good job brother

[kooarbiter]

nice, it updated and with a nifty ending

[Princess Cadence]

2013944
This.

[Super_Big_Mac]

2013687 Can anyone remember which room didn't remain transferred?

[Willow the Pegasus]

Don't change a thing. It's a perfect ending to an awesome story.

[Jess887cp]

No sequel? That's a shame, although understandable. HiE stories, well...you know. I like all of them, but many don't

Beautiful ending.

[just moar]

The only word that comes to my head is perfection
bravo good sir

[The Grey Pegasus]

He talked!

I feel so happy that the title drop is the title I suggested.

[EvilBob]

2015601 They were all eventually transferred. Unless you count the hallway(s) as a "room"... maybe? Or if he had a fancy house that had many more rooms (like a game room, exercise room...etc.)

[Drawdex]

This was a story of i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/169/898/52761%20-%20artist%253Adiamondskypony%20crossover%20pinkie_pie%20willy_wonka.png
And such an EPIC ending, I- I need to counter this!

i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/169/897/52639%20-%20animated%20rainbow_dash%20the_matrix.gif

[clonezero]

Well talk about fun fun fun!

As curious as I am I think I have no problems with this story not having a sequel. The dude is so desensitized at this point that Equestria's gonna have a hard time suprising him.

That Set dude on the other hand is someone I want to know more about.

In any case thank you for the fun story!

[emanwe]

2013471 Actually, he will see (most of) his house again. It's just not all in one place like it used to be.

[sgtnolisten]

Saw this coming a mile away.

Still good though.

We'll see you around mate!

[Squ1dward]

Everything is good except that 2 chapters. They're significant lacking compared to the other chapters.

[Totallyrandomdude]

2013212 I know where you live.

[The Gargoyle]

And now i shed manly tears
This was a really good story my freind, 'The Man' is the dictionary definition of stoic and all of your chapters were entertaining.
This is a great ending to a great story, but I still hope and pray that you or someone else picks it up for a sequel.
Bravo and untill next time

[bahatumay]

He... he spoke!

[SheoDiscord]

I loved how you saved the man's only dialog till this last chapter. In all the previous chapters he was silently assessing everything happening, but being transported to another dimension populated by pastel colored ponies is what finally got him to actually say something about it. I laughed so hard at that.

[demanji]

sequel

[Super_Big_Mac]

2016742 Twilight pulled her bathroom back, remember? She did not like the human's stuff.