Sam wakes up in Equestria stark naked and with no clue how he got there. More problematically, he seems to be in somepony's home.
Teen for nudity and the awkward situations arising from said nudity.
A rewrite of Make Friends, or Die! by Sam Polson (which has since been taken down). I liked the premise, but Sam's English was spotty and Google Translate didn't help him much. Starts going in its own direction fairly quickly.
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his thought process, Twi tried to kick me in the head
i should go ask rarity for clothes?
lol
good stuff so far
Different, but what the hay
Well, I tried reading the original, and this definitely does it better justice. Good job on trying to fix it up and uh... Ungoogle it.
Wow, there has been a LOT of good HiE stories lately (or maybe I'm just looking at the right ones).
Looking forward to some more updates on this.
Cheers~
I like this! Do go on.
Quite a interesting story so do go on,and add more characters!!!
I shall track!
341582
I'm hesitating to add more characters too quickly. I'm working on a Rarity-centric chapter right now (which should be no surprise based on where I left Chapter 1 off), and it's been a bit tricky making sure I try and stay faithful to her voice. I basically took a cop-out on Twilight's appearance, giving her generic "panicked horse" response. I'm trying to make sure I'm comfortable with my protagonist's characterization and ready to do a character's voice before I write them in.
Ch 2 Author's Note:
So, hopefully this is as close to clop as it gets. I was trying to play up the awkward "naked guy gets fitted for a suit by girl" as much as possible without getting raunchy. Because let's face it, everything is more awkward when someone's naked, and getting fitted for pants is awkward enough when clothed.
Thanks to the follows some of you have given me so far, but don't forget to comment!
Ha, bone.
I'm very mature.
I think he needs to ditch the doll before it gets odd. its not helping much anyway.
YAY AWKWARD! Its my favorite comedy.
haha dude i thought this was a clopfiction. I almost scrolled away before i noticed the comedy tag. this is pretty good, write me darn you.
Sir, I do believe that shit is about to hit your fan.
Chapter 3 Author's Note:
So I had intended to move the story out of Rarity's Boutique with this chapter, but I had misjudged how much character interaction there was left to do between the two, so we wind up with another fairly talky chapter with Sam navigating his self-imposed verbal minefield. I hope it keeps you entertained for a little while, at least
And don't forget to comment with opinions for improvements or bits you liked; I'm still pretty new at this and even my Brony friends are refusing to help me edit.
You're doing quite well on this story, its very good and I love it since it contains so much awkwardness.
Keep up the awesome work.
"You!" "Me!" All in all this was a pretty solid chapter.
I pissed myself at that last line
Hmm. One of three events at this point.
One, sam saves rarity, attempting to avoid awkward events with twilight after being wounded, or more likely stunned given the situation.
Two, Spell hits rarity and twilight goes emo, resulting in sam explaining stuff while holding rarity.
Three, they all buck. Oh, wait, sorry no that's not right.
And to be honest, your writing is fine, I have literally no complaints.
This is silly, unoriginal, uncalled and awkward.
Tracking.
lol ur boned
oh, twilight and her OCD of jumpin to conclusions
THROW THE CHEEEEEEESE!!!
345329 number three sounds promising...
347668 I know right!?
347953 347668
Is it bad if I found myself slipping into the second person tense while writing parts of chapter 2?
348356 Honestly, not really, sometimes it happens if you get really into a chapter, for me I can only write first person in past tense, writing in any other style is weird. Perhaps you should try and find your style? Maybe you are a second person writer? That may not apply well to this story, but it may be fun!
Whenever I hear that 'You', 'Me' exchange I always think back to that scene from the Matrix: Revolutions movie where Agent Smith changes that other Agent into another copy of him. *Surprise "You..." Hand thrust into chest "Yes me. Me, me, me, me, me."*
Chapter 4 Author's Note:
We are completely outside all plans I had for this story when I started writing it, I'm just writing the characters as I think they should act and only making a tweak here or there for comedic effect, and to keep the conflict spinning. It's not a very interesting story if I wrap up all the loose ends with everypony explaining themselves calmly and sensibly, now is it? I mean, that never happens in real life, so why would it happen in fiction?
And as usual, don't forget to comment. Even inane comments welcome.
This seems to be one never-ending Humiliation Conga.
I approve.
He really tried to run away... even though Twilight said that Rainbow Dash would be out there watching for him. This calls for a rare moment of: (Ahem) WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?!?!?!
349002
In Sam's defense, it could have been a bluff. Would you rather maybe have to try and outrun RBD or definitely face an angry Rarity?
"“Perhaps you should tell her, Sam,” Rarity said. “I think it would be better that she heard you speak for yourself in case she has questions.” Twilight hadn't taken her eyes off you, but she had swiveled one ear to listen to Rarity. She turned that ear back to you now."
There ya go, pointing out your mistakes, you horrible, horrible writer >.>
Lol, nah, good chapter, but I am a little curious why he would run instead of try and defend himself...
349028 Point well made.
Edit to Chapter 1 - Cold and Not Alone on 3/21
Introduction rewritten, the slice of Sam's life he talks about is a little more coherent now. Some further internal narrative about why he's avoiding Twilight, as it was fairly weak. It should be a little clearer now that he's got a bit of cowardice when it comes personal conflict. The Pegasus mare that he has a close call with on his way to the Boutique has been changed to yellow coated instead of gray (yes, this will be a post-fact Chekov's Gun, sue me).
Could i get a link to the original
350889
It appears to have been taken down or rescinded. I'll edit the description to reflect this.
28.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ll5xqftFR11qbua2oo1_250.gif
when will me have moar
363492
I was about to post a blog with what's been distracting me from ponies, actually
363683 yay
347668 347953
>_< I'm not alright in the head when I'm tired. Link below contains link to mature material.
http://www.fimfiction.net/story/17314/Awakened-Rudely
364505 Needs a password. :P
This is such a fun awesome story!!!!!! Great job!!!
348533 me too
quote and answer
To be fair, which would you rather fight? A particularly fast pegasus, or, as far as we know, the fourth-most-powerful being in the world?
Unless there are more godlike beings I've missed hearing of, anyway.
Anyway, it will be... interesting, seeing where this goes.
Chapter 5 Author's Note
And so continues Sam's abuse and unintended teasing at the hooves of Ponyville's mares!
The dream sequence was originally much shorter, but I realized that with a little work it could be a short story of its own. You can find that short story here. I wrote the dream because I felt I wasn't being creative enough with torturing my protagonist. I've run him through plenty of physical teasing, but hadn't really done anything to tease him emotionally yet.
Let me know what you think in the comments!
cool
Cool story bro