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Follow Scootaloo through a tale of cycling through sadness and happiness at once, confusions of what to believe, and feelings of hopelessness that can only be driven away by a smile. Will Scootaloo find out the truths which plague her as they go unanswered?
Or will her entire world be lived within child-like ignorance and hellish bliss of not knowing what goes on behind the affairs of those superior to her?
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Well, let's see what we have here.
I forgot to read this earlier. One word: epicsauce.
I like it.
Please write more!
I like what you have written thus far and would like to read more from this! I shall be most definitely keeping tabs on this story.
-frost
Also, nitpicking for your sake. Give it another edit.
could be (except for the grammar ones which SHOULD be)
P.S. Face-planted with a hyphen if you choose to keep it.
Where's the random tag? This is fourth wall breaking, mang. If this is what you think is comedy, it ain't working... at least for me. Get others opinion on this. Also, "... might ruin the moment", not may. Also, "Sorry, Sweetie Belle, but..." Put that comma there.
... Scoots just fought him off, her dear 'sister', the one she loves and adores so much is in the hopsital and she might just die... AND she ASKS about GETTING BANISHED? Are you forreal? No emotions? No feelings? Tinge of regret? "It's all my fault! I could have saved Rainbow Dash so she wouldn't get hurt!" None of this? .... Sigh.
Whelp, I did say I was tired. One last thing.
... Well, maybe it's just me, but swearing in this fics are unnecessary. Again, my opinion. Seek others opinions too.
One last advice: Love writing for the love of your characters, not for the love of writing a story.
... Somehow, this premise promises, but needs lots of polishing. I'd give it a push, write more, see how it goes. Feel the character and write as if you were them. You'll get them viewers (if you so truly want them so badly).
I... uh... um.... I'm afraid to say that I did not enjoy this story than I wanted to. I'm definitely giving you an A+ for effort, though. I mean, I could not write even a chapter that has more than 5,000 words for the life of me! Also, your detail is pretty splendid as well.
However, what drives me back is one thing: the characterization of Scootaloo. Throughout the story, she was pretty much a cursing little brat who made hissy fits left and right. Yes, I would actually be mad too if somepony I adored was brutally killed by something or somepony. I mean, look at this quote!
To me, this is not Scootaloo. I just can't imagine her actually shouting like this at Rainbow Dash's funeral. Also, her saying the other quote didn't help either. I'm sorry, but this just ruins the story for me.
Finally reviewed this for the Goodfic Bin. Honestly, I'm not quite sure what to think of this just yet, aside from the fact that I need to see more of it in order to make a proper decision. For now, I'm rejecting this until more is published, so I can be more certain as to how it's going to progress.
Details are here.