The resolution between Spike and Pinkie felt a bit forced, I actually rolled my eyes at the crying away the bad feelings bit. Still I enjoyed the chapter overall and am looking forward to the next one, no matter how long I have to wait for it.

7900083

Yeah first draft felt way less forced but would have included a whole nother chapter which i frankly dont want to do XD

Also shouldnt be nearly as long from the last update to the next.

Kudos to whoever is editing, they did a fine job out of it

Now, to more pressing matters. Usually, I would just go along with whatever was there, because, frankly, I'm in this one for a Twike clop that I liked, but - since you clearly didn't do this just for the gratuitous clop - I have to agree with Valen. Strongly so. If you wanted this story to have feels, you should have done that second chapter. If you didn't, than this one was not called for, especially considering how positive you made it look in the ending of a previous one.

Next up: Spike. It's a bit confusing. Did they go through with that plan of turning him fem? No? There are a few references that imply Spike is a female(there's even one instance of him calling himself a lady), yet you keep saying "he". It's a bit confusing.

That's it, I think?

7901319
I didn't really want it to have "feels" per say its supposed to be short, and relatively shallow. Though this was the first thing i ever wrote and although i improved on the outline and general story this is still the very first thing i ever tried to write, which shows i know but i still think its an improvement.

As for the positive ending in the previous one i think if you look back you will note the hints at disquiet and potential for infighting especially with Spike's jealousy being anything but solved.

As for spike hes in the process but i wanted to make it more than just one spell boom your a chick. Also worry not, clop is back next chapter and every chapter after, this will be the sole one without as i didnt want to make it overly long but nor did i want to tack it onto the start of another chapter and cheapen it anymore.

7901336 well, I can't do but concede the point about Spike's jealousy - I'm feeling just a bit too lazy to go back and check up on it.

Oh, I can understand the not wanting a one-spell solution. Not everyone likes things like that, so eh. On that note, I don't think the process is quite the same as it is irl - maybe accentuate some more on his curves, or the other way around, make it so the visuals take longer than actual gender changes to come around(I have no idea how that may work, but hey, it's fiction! If it can actually be backed with science tho, I will laugh my ass off).

Also, I think it just might be time for me to shut up, because I'm getting a bit of the rails there

7901355
He has already started his tf as before this he didnt wear dresses and a few other things but i didnt want to scream and point at the small changes cus that would lose what little subtly they had already.

So glad to see this actually continue. Not enough good herd stories out there. It'll be nice to see this relationship develop, especially since the good part looks right around the corner.

7908765
Im obviously a huge fan of the herd and you will be seeing much more stuff along those lines from me in the future, outside of this story as well!

7909389 I look forward to it.

Complete? Does that mean we're really stopping now before anything's resolved?

7975706

Check the description of the story.

8112596
Pretty much just a part two like the dash of ego thing but I will probably do a little better and actually have a real title. Other than that yeah the first chapter is done (and almost the second) but im waiting on the cover art to be done before i drop it.

8126137
.... Yes I know. This is also the oldest thing I've written.

8126442
Okay that explains a lot of things. I was wondering how the later chapter writing greatly improved compared to the first chapter to only find out it was written years later.

8616060
This is the oldest story in my archive, I am a little too busy to go back and touch these antiques. If it bothers you I would say just skip to the sequel.

Yeah, it's really weird using male pronouns for Spike when it's pretty clear that she's entirely presenting as female. I'm guessing you're trying to show that she hasn't completed her transition, but your solution seems worse than the problem.

8618524
I can usually forgive a few little errors here and there, but it's a bit of a pet peeve of mine to see character names in lower-case. Actually, a lot of grammatical errors is a major pet peeve of mine. I get that you likely can't get back to a story, especially an old one. It's funny you think an early work you put up is amazing, especially if it gets praise from around the time it went it up but then you finally end up going back and reading it for nostalgia purposes and realize how much of an awful writer you really were. Immensely bad writing can sometimes physically hurt to read, sometimes that happens when you read your earliest work. I probably skip to the sequel, but I'm a bit of completionist when it comes to stories and feel like I'm doing something wrong by reading stories out of order when I'm aware of it.

8624123
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