• Member Since 23rd May, 2014
  • offline last seen Nov 24th, 2022

Geoice


T

Is Dash really gone its been months since she disappeared and nopony has heard from her. Spike waits for her return inner home trying to keep in mind that she is all right. But as time go on the idea that she may be dead seem to be the problem that he faces alone. All he can do is remember all the good times that they shared to keep her alive at heart.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 13 )

Seven grammar mistakes in the description alone, and all things you should have learned in elementary school. Jesus Christ man.

4908004 OK fixed that part now

4908004 and dude I'm dyslexic sorry

4908066 you need an etitor. My first fic was crappy too.

As he slowly stop his struggle Dash lend close to his ear ‘’ I just think after a dinner, it’s traditional to have..(She leaned closer pressing her cheek on top of his making contact)..desert’’. she said in a slow seductive tone.

They both gave moans of pleasure throughout the night, spike pass out after like two hours and fifty two min and forty three sec (he knows that because Dash timed it and post it on the fridge when he woke up in the morning).

so what that I did (she said as she lifted one of her fore hoofs from his shoulder and trail it down to his stomach making small circles, causing a chill to run up spike’s spine at her touch ) I know you’ll like it.’’

Okay........Is the story really Rated E?

4908043
There are still five, by my count. You badly need an editor.

it's a particular writing style used, and it's a specific set-up that I don't like, but having taken that into effect, it's still rather short, but still an enjoyable read

4908263 on it thank you for being honest really:ajsmug:

4908227 oops sorry I'll fix that

It was a great story! :twilightsmile: Sadly, it does feel a little rushed :fluttershysad: and the grammar.. COULD be better! :fluttershbad: But besides that it was great! :rainbowkiss: Though I would think that Dash would be hurt or something.. seeing as how she just came back from somewhere alone for a month.. :rainbowhuh: But great story! :twilightsheepish:

Hey Geoice, remember me? Anyway, I loved the fic! I skipped the flashback because I don't really like the content in teen fanfics, I personally prefer a mushy little shipfic, but honestly, I liked it! :twilightsmile: I think it could use some editing, and I don't exactly know why Dash was gone so long, and that was something you could have expanded on, but you gave it your best shot and I honestly enjoyed it! You should be proud :) Have a like! :raritystarry:

My God... As soon as I read the words,

"how much do you know about preening?"

I almost died. The suspense, the thoughts, all leading up to her preening herself.

All in all, really fantastic story.

Have not one, but ten moustaches.:moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache:

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