• Member Since 16th Mar, 2012
  • offline last seen May 16th, 2015



Fluttershy is a very shy pony, but she has to break through her shyness when she finds a little pony all alone and abandoned.
She takes it upon herself to help this little colt, but it's a long way through the road of recovery, and it's not very easy..
.Can Fluttershy care for a colt of her own?
Let's find out.

Chapters (6)
Comments ( 54 )

Ok one he's an alicorn most ponies would freak there almost extenict
Two you spelt ceiling wrong
Three there's a hospital in ponyville broken leg get the hint

one Of couse i know that alicon are like super rare and normly would freak out but its part of the story
TWo ok my grammar isn't the best
three later in the story we learn that fluttershy use to be a nurse and that it winter so fluttshy isn't looking after her animals so you dont need to be a jerck its my first time writing a story so cut me so sloatch:raritydespair::raritydespair::raritydespair::raritydespair::raritydespair::raritydespair::raritydespair::raritydespair::raritydespair:

fluttershy was soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo sweet!:heart:

I like where this is going... you just need to work on the grammar slightly (but that can be fixed with a pro-reader easily)... aside from that, you did a pretty good job at FlutterMom here :yay:

Can't wait till next chapter :D

Just to let you know i posted a fanart of your fic:http://comedycourt.deviantart.com/#/d519v7i

this is really good. i like where it's going and it very well planned out. All i can really say is........MOAR.

i can't wait to help

There might be a couple of grammatical errors... but man, you honestly have a knack for story telling. In all honesty now I want to see more of this story.

Freaking awesome part. I love spell-checking this Fan Fic :rainbowkiss:

Is there gonna be an explanation on why Max is so small? Can't wait to see what the other 5 will say about Max :applejackconfused::pinkiegasp::raritystarry::rainbowderp::twilightoops:

I like where this is going non the less :yay:

Awww I have been waiting for this to update for AGES! :scootangel:

it's great, i can't wait to work on the nexts chapter.

Lets see how this goes, from things i have read like this they will question her ability to look after a foal alone, rainbow and applejack will be against it, twi on the borderline, pinkie wont care since they can throw a party, and i think rarity would also be like twi and a 50 50 chance of for it or against, Rarity would prob want to make it clothes though, Then again Twi would want to tell the princess...Anyhow im getting offtrack! good luck with the next chapter....ill be waiting ',..,'...

Intersting back story of Fluttershy... a shame of what happened to her though :fluttershysad:

As for Twilight... sigh, absolutely no common sense at all :twilightangry2:

Yay I have been waiting for many months for an update to this :D

This really is one of my favorite stories at the moment, Yup. Just keep on bringing more chapters.

How I write when I feel stupid: Yo Doc, hit us up with some moe of dat story ya got 'ere.:rainbowhuh:

Normal writing: Hey Batman, when do you plan on adding the next chapter?:rainbowderp:


these things take time, so i really don't know


I understand completely. Well that and since Past Sins is up on fimfiction I'll be busy for a while.

TWE's Scribblestick here in response to your call for help on dA! Unfortunately, I don't think I can help with any major editing and proofing, but I can help you clean up your cover page a bit. :pinkiehappy:

So, let's start with the title. Here is how it should be capitalized/punctuated:

My Little Hope: Caring is Magic

A few capital letters and a colon, and your title looks much more professional.

Now for your description:

fluttershy is a very shy pony but she has to break through her shyness when she find a little pony all alone and abandoned
she finds it upon her to help this little colt but it's a long way through the road of recovery and it not very easy.
is fluttershy capable of being a mother let's find out.
other pony will be in the story mostly in Chapter 2
the main six will be in the story and even eveyone favorite pony derpy will be in it

All right, let's start with punctuation and whatnot.

Fluttershy is a very shy pony, but she has to break through her shyness when she finds a little pony all alone and abandoned.
She takes it upon herself to help this little colt, but it's a long way through the road of recovery, and it's not very easy.
Is Fluttershy capable of being a mother? Let's find out.
"Other" pony will be in the story, mostly in Chapter 2.
The main six will be in the story, and even eveyone's favorite pony, Derpy, will be in it.

All right. Now on to content.

Fluttershy is a very shy pony, but she has to break through her shyness when she finds a little pony all alone and abandoned. She takes it upon herself to help this little colt, but it's a long way through the road of recovery, and it's not very easy.

Not bad, though telling us Fluttershy is shy is, well, obvious.

Is Fluttershy capable of being a mother? Let's find out.

Yes, she is. She is a mother to countless animals. Perhaps you could rephrase this:

Can Fluttershy care for a colt/filly of her own?

This, I think, is the real question. Some may argue that this question was already answered in "Stare Master," but there's a big difference between raising a child and taking care of one (or three) for just one night.

"Other" pony will be in the story, mostly in Chapter 2.
The main six will be in the story, and even eveyone's favorite pony, Derpy, will be in it.

Saying this is unnecessary. That's what the character tags are for.

The cover art looks pretty nice. Did you get that commissioned?

Finally, some quick notes on the story itself. I haven't read it, but I noticed skimming through that you have a lot of walls of text (lots of text with no distinct paragraph breaks). Keep your paragraphs short, and either indent them or separate them with a blank line. This makes your story visually more appealing.

I suppose I'll end with some writerly advice. Good writing takes time, especially when you don't have much experience. It took me about five years to finish my first novel (which ended up being three), with almost a year's break at one point. Don't get discouraged if the going is slow. It happens to every writer, or at least every writer I know. Eventually, your words and ideas will come.

Well, that's all from me. Hope it helps! :twilightsmile:

~Scribblestick, TWE's notoriously friendly moderator

Hey there it's OhStyx from DeviantART. I cannot begin to tell you how much I love this story! :heart: Your words are so "Great and Powerful" even though you have some grammar, punctuation, and redundancy errors, I still love this story so far!

I'm starting to get really obsessed with this story! Really good, but I think it would be nice if you could put more foreshadowing in the earlier chapters, because when you read that Fluttershy once (almost) had a foal on her own, it was a really big surprise. Unless you wanted it to be a shock to the audience:pinkiegasp:, then spot on! :moustache: Also, I love the way you're able to portray the character of Fluttershy, with her shy nature,:fluttershyouch: and her rages :flutterrage:. As a writer myself I know how hard that can be. Every time I have dialogue with her, it always seems awkward, but you do it so well, I salute you. But you're biggest stroke of genius is with Rainbow Dash:rainbowkiss: It was SO good to see her swallow her pride and apologize to Max. A-DOOR-UH-BULL. (Rainbow Dash is best pony) :rainbowwild:

This is close to perfection, but there are a few things I nodiced that could use some fixing:

...The foal opened his mouth in hopes of expressing his anguish to anybody around him, but due to his severely dry and tired throat his voice was barely louder than a whisper....I feel so scared and alone in this place.
I try to move a little but I received a jolt of pain in my back legs....

In the first two paragraphs Max is spoken about in third person, but after that he refers to himself as 'I'. It would less confusing to the readers if you chose either third or first person and stuck with that for the whole story.

....”Oh good your fever has gone “she said happily....
Also, watch out which way the quotation marks are facing.

He thought to himself serious brain, you can recall what a mooncake looks like and what it is made of but the name that you have identified with for so many years eludes you.
You may want to consider putting thoughts in italics, so the readers can distinguish when the characters are and aren't thinking.

“It’s ok little foal I won’t hurt you I promise” she stared at me with her big blue eyes.
It looks more professional when one spells 'ok' as 'okay.'

Jess where in the world is she getting these names from, they don’t sound normal.
Geez? And I would think this is two seperate sentences, since the first part is a question.
Like this: Geez, where is she getting all these names from? They don't sound normal.

Other than piddily little things like that, you're story is perfect, and I will never stop loving it. :raritystarry:

So the others are in Fluttershy's bad side now?

yes, for now they are, or forever!!! :pinkiegasp:

Wow I wonder how the princesses will react....or if they even want to know Max is alive! :twilightoops:

it's funny you say, something like that is coming up, but when it comes your just have to wait

I love how this story is from Max's point of view.

I would love to see how this turns out. :twilightsmile:

The feels in this chapter are unbelievable. :fluttercry::pinkiesad2:

Yay! I'm so glad it's out! It looks so different when it's all together... :pinkiehappy:

Do you have an estimated release For the next chapter.

Cliffhangers.... sir. I challenge you to a duel at twenty paces for this.

Ok so i see one of 4 outcomes. 2 of which puts twilight in major pain for it the other 2 make her not get hurt at least yet.

the 2 that have her hurting are
1. flutters lets celestia take him... this of coarse is goin to have twilight get her ass kicked. deserved at that
2. Flutters goes all flutter Rage and stops not only twilight but celestia as well... don't say she couldn't because there is no rage like a mothers rage.

3. twilight comes to the rescue. this is the ONLY way flutter would forgive her.
4. Flutter goes with Celestia to the castle. Twilight would be away from Flutter so she wouldn't murder her

I love twilight so you know how mad this makes me when I know she deserves to get some sense beat into her skull.

Yayyou are not Dead but no i have to kill you ^^

Arms? They have hooves. :P Also Tia!!!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOO!

When is the next chapter? I need to know.

You have no idea how long I have been waiting for the next chapter. Its been a little over 3 weeks and I am not a very patient person to say the least:raritywink:

A-are you trying to say something? Guys I think it's trying to say something what do we do!?:derpyderp1::derpyderp2::derpytongue2:

Okay, I'm at the point of begging. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:applecry::applecry::applecry::applecry::applecry::applecry::applecry::applecry::applecry::applecry::applecry::applecry::applecry::applecry::applecry::fluttercry::fluttercry::fluttercry::fluttercry::fluttercry::fluttercry::fluttercry::fluttercry::fluttercry::fluttercry::raritycry::raritycry::raritycry::raritycry::raritycry::raritycry::raritycry::raritycry::raritycry::raritycry::raritycry::raritydespair::raritydespair::raritydespair::raritydespair::raritydespair::raritydespair::raritydespair::raritydespair::raritydespair::raritydespair::raritydespair::raritydespair::raritydespair::raritydespair: MAKE ANOTHER CHAPTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

One issue: you did no capitalize Max:twistnerd:

Wouldn't be ponycchio?:twilightblush:

If u dont continu this story I will hate u 4 life. Have a good day<3

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