Those Hips Should Be A War Crime!
Rarity was quietly eating her apple surrounded by her friends. Sunset Shimmer had just joined them and was telling them about how…”off” the singers seemed at the tour she had gone to. Pinkie Pie, being Pinkie Pie, was offering outlandish suggestions about how they were “off”.
“Maybe we should just let her tell us?” Rainbow Dash said, cutting off Pinkie’s suggestions much to Rarity’s delight. Sure she loved Pinkie just as much as the rest of her friends, but she could be a bit…much sometimes.
“That’s just it,” Sunset Shimmer said, “I can’t put my finger on it. They just acted sort of strange around me.”
Then she came in.
Sure, she was flanked by two others, all three of them singing like angels, but none of that mattered when Rarity turned her head and saw the lead singer’s hips.
Goddamn, Rarity thought to herself. The orange-haired girl surely gave new meaning to the phrase ‘your body is an instrument’ as she hypnotically swayed her sides to the beat of the music that was suddenly playing. She was singing something as well, but she couldn’t really focus on the words as she strutted around the cafeteria working her hips like a metronome, attracting the attention of all who saw.
The effect was heightened as she flounced around the lunchroom, cradling a boy’s chin in her hand.
Are you a loser or a fighter?
Rarity gripped her dress in her hand, her eyes unable to pull away from the girl’s entrancing sashay as she challenged the entirety of the school to...to something. All that mattered were those sensual loins as she was lifted up on the table and swaggered on top of it like she owned it. She then flicked another boy’s chin erotically as she leapt off of the table and addressed the school.
...if you’re just proven you’re the best?
Then she went prattling some nonsense about a battle or something...Rarity didn’t really care, she just wanted to see those hips in action once more. Her wish was granted after the students stopped arguing and the girl once again addressed the student body using her body. Rarity’s grip on her dress grew tighter. Those hips should be considered a War Crime under the Geneva Protocol for biological warfare, she thought to herself.
The entire student body was arguing with each other now, seemingly ensorcelled in the spirit of competition. Rarity didn’t care. She just was entranced by the mesmeric sway of that girl’s hips right now.
Rarity’s heart dropped as the girl stopped swaying her hips to address the school once more.
...battle of the bands!
Damnit, Rarity thought to herself.
“Ohhhh, she’s that kind of off!” Pinkie said. She quickly turned to head to acknowledge that, yes, Pinkie had said something, but quickly turned her head back to hopefully witness once more the alluring weave of the girl’s thighs.
Her prayers were answered as the girl and her posse turned to the door and walked out, swinging her quarters once more. Her friends left the room before her. But the orange-haired girl turned her head and looked straight at Rarity.
Oh, heavens, was I that obvious, Rarity thought as her cheeks turned roseate. The girl then winked at her, causing a goofy grin to draw itself upon Rarity’s face as she turned her head back, exaggeratedly undulating her rump as she exited the room.
Applejack was saying something that Rarity couldn’t hear. Those hips had burned themselves into her skull. She could make out every roll, waver, and oscillation in her head clear as—
—the back of her head suddenly burned fiercely. “Rarity!” Applejack said. “What in the hay is wrong with you?”
Rarity glared at Applejack as she rubbed the back of her head. “There’s no need to resort to violence, Applejack. You could have just said something.”
Applejack raised an eyebrow. “But I’ve been trying to get your attention for the past five minutes! We all thought you were under their spell until Sunset pointed out that you weren’t arguing like the rest of the school. So I smacked you upside the head to get your attention.”
Rarity blinked. “...what spell?”
Applejack facepalmed and turned Rarity’s head to face the student body, which was currently embroiled in the mother of all arguments. “That spell, dummy! Weren’t you paying attention?”
Rarity blinked. “Oh yeah...the spell, heh heh…”
Applejack stared at Rarity. “You were looking at it the whole time! How could you not notice?”
Rarity giggled as she picked up her apple and daintily chewed on it. “My mind was focused on...other matters, as it were.”
Applejack leaned in to Rarity, a lewd grin on her face. “You were checking out the new girl, weren’t you?”
Rarity spit out the piece of apple in her mouth. “W-what!?”
Applejack chuckled. “S’alright. I couldn’t help but sneak a peek myself. Haven’t seen flanks like that since we slaughtered Bessie two days ago,” she said. She then lifted her head to face the girls. “That reminds me, who wants steak tonight?”
“ME!” Sunset Shimmer shouted, causing everyone at the table to slightly recoil.
“Why do you eat nothing but meat?” Fluttershy asked. “You do realize that can’t be healthy, right?”
“Plus,” Rainbow Dash said, “wouldn’t that be kind of like cannibalism for you? I mean, you told us that the cows talk where you come from.”
Sunset Shimmer glared at everybody at the table. “Well, the cows don’t talk here and my digestive system can handle it. Plus, it’s damn tasty!”
Everyone nodded in agreement, Rarity especially. “That sounds wonderful, Applejack. I’d love to go you house and have some flank—thigh—steak.” Everybody laughed at the misspoken words that came out of Rarity’s mouth as she covered it in horror, blushing furiously.
Damnit, she’s invaded my thoughts!
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Yeah, this was funny. I'll let you live.
fc03.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2014/215/5/3/rainbow_rocks___dazzling_dazzlings_by_aroddo-d7shl92.gif
Arms do lie, though. :P
I only wish there were more.
4795184
I could watch that all day...
4795184
4795194
I know, right?
DEM HIPS.
4795266
I meant the arms...
4795269 Arms are cool, too.
This ended so suddenly.... but it's great!
On another note, Hips Don't Lie is one of my fav songs!
4795266
I can relate why you wrote that :)
4795375 I know, right? Thank you for understanding my yearnings!
4795413
They didn't animate those hips for nothing.
4795648 They sure didn't.
derpicdn.net/img/view/2014/8/1/688105__safe_solo_animated_equestria+girls_rainbow+rocks_spoiler-colon-rainbow+rocks_extreme+speed+animation_adagio+dazzle.gif
XDXDXD
It had to be written...and I agree with you every step of the way. Heck, I even made a Deviantart submission regarding my thoughts toward it. Da-Yum, Dem Hips!!
4796037
I agree with you completely.
4795935
Yes...
This is the best part.
Oh my.
Ooooo, would love more chapters
More... just.... more Please.
dem hips tho
A funny little story, I enjoyed it!
Don't worry Rarity, I couldn't help but notice dem hips too.
That girl has got to go through a can of hairspray everyday.
Sometimes bad girls are sexy.
4799101 Yiss...
4799123 I know, right? I'd love to meet her hairstylist.
Can't say Adagio doesn't know what she's doing with those WMDs! This was worth the couple of laughs I got.
4799912 Indeed she does.
Indeed...she...does.
And thank you!
4799969
Someone should draw her as a bellydancer.
4800813 OH MY GOD YES THAT NEED TO BE A THING SOMEONE DO THAT NOW
These girls remind me of the Trix. (Not in a bad way.)
Which would make the mane six the Winx... It all fits!
Stella = Rarity
Musa = Rainbow Dash
Flora = Fluttershy
Bloom = Twilight Sparkle
Tecna = Pinkie Pie
Aisha/Layla = Applejack
The last one does not really work...
KBO.
That was fun, I enjoyed it.
At first I was afraid I was the only one checking out dem hips, then I stumbled upon this fic and realized that I indeed wasn't alone. I loved the animation and Adagio Dazzle have become my new EG favorite hip- I mean character.
Good work and thank you for the laughter you brought me with this short fic. Good job.
Pointless antagonist's hypnotic hips never fail.
Wait.
Discord: Hypnosis
Chrysalis: Hypnosis
Sombra: Implicit and fanon hypnosis
Sunset Shimmer: gained mass hypnotic powers
Tirek: Eh
Adagio Dazzle: Hypnosis
Fuck this. Fuck this. Hypnosis OP. I'm done. Goodnight. Enjoy the hips, everypony.
I love this story because it happens a lot in life
5065582 Yes, yes it does.
5065586 I love your stories you should help me make one please
5065590 What does that even mean?
5065597 Never mind I really love your stories that's all
5065608 Oh.
Thnx.
5065610 You know what, you are so inspirational because that story tells it like it is.
5065626 Yes.
Yes it does.
4859326 actually for Adigo it's hipnosis
5065645
*Grins* Bravo.
Will there be more?
I think we need more hips.
5065675
You honestly didn't
5078854 He did.
Wut u gunna do bout it?
5079133
Well, I hate to be the butt of a joke, but I guess that's the sway it's gonna be
heheheheheheh