Like A Boss
Twilight couldn’t concentrate.
Maybe it was the fly that kept buzzing around the lantern and banging ever so lightly against the glass. Perhaps it was Spike’s snoring during his late morning nap. It could also conceivably be the rapidly approaching noise of what sounded like fireworks going off next to a theremin.
Yeah, it was probably that.
With a snort, Twilight put down her quill and trotted down the long corridors of her castle to the front door. She opened it and stepped outside, only to press her ears against her head at the immeasurably loud noise from outside. She turned her head to what appeared to be the source, her eyes widening at what she saw.
A black spot with a bit of red in the sky, approaching quickly. She was able to make out that the red was a shock of hair attached to an unidentified alicorn before it sharply landed right in front of her, creating a deep, thrumming shockwave that shattered every window nearby, forcing Twilight to recoil and shut her eyes at the sheer force of the bass. When she opened them again, her jaw dropped at the sight before her.
In front of her stood a black alicorn with black hair that, yes, had a shock of red in it. Her tail, horn, and wing feathers, though, were all of the colors of the rainbow. Her cutie mark was as well, it looking like what Rainbow Dash did to Applejack’s barn or what she tried to do to Tirek. On her legs were black, thigh-high sneakers that also bore the full rainbow spectrum across the front of them. The alicorn shook her head and turned towards Twilight.
“I’m looking for a ‘Twilight Sparkle’,’” she said, her voice seeming to carry dual dulcet tones. “Would you happen to know where she is?”
Twilight blinked a couple times, then narrowed her eyes. She had run into her fair share of villains and was not about to get caught off guard, thank you very much.
“Who’s asking?”
The black alicorn smiled. “Princess Neon Boom, of course!”
Twilight shut her eyes, then opened them. “Princess...who?”
Princess Neon Boom put a sneaker-clad hoof over her mouth and giggled. “Me, hepcat! The Princess of Psy-Trance and the Alicorn of Ambience! Princess Neon Boom!”
Twilight stared at her with a cock-eyed glare. “Princess Celestia’s never mentioned you in our studies.”
Neon Boom grinned widely. “Ah, so you must be Princess Twilight Sparkle!”
Twilight’s eyes widened. “How...how do you know that I’ve studied under Princess Celestia?”
Neon Boom blinked, still smiling. “Oh, Celie and I still keep in contact, even after all of these years. She talks about you all the time in her recent letters!”
Twilight blushed. She certainly did enjoy Princess Celestia mentioning her in letters, even to a previously unknown alicorn. She then shook her head and collected herself. “The fact of the matter is that I or nopony I know has ever heard of you before. How can you explain that?”
Neon Boom giggled again. “That was probably a ploy to protect me in case Tirek ever escaped,” she said in her two-tone voice, “and as you can see, it worked. Celie’s always had a thing for planning things out ahead of time.”
Twilight looked down and hummed. “I suppose…” she said. She then looked up. “But I didn’t think electronic music existed over a thousand years ago.”
Princess Neon Boom bowed her head low, a frown drawn across her muzzle. “That is true...back then I had to create my sick beats through pure magic and nopony really liked it,” she said. She then lifted her head up with a smile on her face. “But at least I had the good sense to realize that bangin art takes time to recognize! Plus,” she added, “I had one fan.”
Twilight raised an eyebrow. “And who would that be, a thousand years ago?”
Neon Boom chortled. “Who else?”
Twilight groaned and rolled her eyes. “Discord…”
Princess Neon Boom nodded eagerly. “Totes def! He would always listen to my sounds and tell me I was going to make it big someday!” she said as she sighed. “I believed him, too. In fact, he was so inspired by me that he wanted to remake the world in the image of my music!”
Twilight facehoofed. “I’m guessing that didn’t turn out so well.”
Neon Boom shook her head. “Unfortunately, no. He kind of turned the world upside down and Celie and Luna had to turn him into stone. He just turned out to be cray cray in the end.”
“Huh…” Twilight said.
“Well, now that Tirek’s locked up in Tartarus again, I thought I might reveal myself finally and tour with my latest sound,” Princess Neon Boom said.
Just then, a harsh scratching could be heard screaming across the sky and both alicorns turned their heads to see the sound of the noise. Princess Neon Boom’s eyes widened.
“Oh no…”
Twilight peered into the distance to see another black spot rapidly growing in size until it landed with a harsh thud, kicking up a veritable sandstorm. It, too, was an alicorn with much of the same coloration as Princess Neon Boom, although its cutie mark was a rainbow speaker with waves coming out of it. It was also wearing a black camo cap backwards, a hooded sweatshirt, and white sneakers. It turned to face the alicorns and grinned malevolently.
“Hello, girls,” he said, his voice exhibiting a similar quality to Neon Boom’s, yet decidedly harsher in tone.
Neon Boom narrowed her eyes while Twilight looked up at her. “Who’s this?” Twilight asked. “Another friend of yours?”
Neon Boom growled. “No, Twilight. This is my brother, Neon Bass.”
Neon Bass cleared his throat. “That’s Prince Neon Bass.”
Neon Boom snorted. “You were stripped of your Royal title when you were banished to Tartarus for playa-hatin’. How did you escape, anyway?”
Neon Bass snickered. “Music soothes the savage beast,” he said. He then looked at Twilight and licked his lips. “Who’s this pretty purple thing? Rig slag?”
Neon Boom stomped her hoof, creating the sound of cymbals crashing. “She is not rig slag! This is Princess Twilight Sparkle, and she’s way more fly than you’ll ever be!”
Neon Bass chuckled as he paced around the alicorn princesses, wubbing with each hoof step. “Really? How boss are you?” he asked as he leered at Twilight.
Neon Boom glared at Neon Bass. “She purified Luna of the Nightmare, turned Discord back into stone, and sent Tirek back to where you belong!”
“Cram it, sis, I was asking the rig slag,” Neon Bass said. Neon Boom growled at him. He chuckled again as he turned to face Twilight, leaning his head in. “So how legit are you, filly?”
Twilight gulped. “Well,” she said, “all of those things are true.”
Neon Bass snorted. “Hmmm,” he said as he lifted his head up, “so the rig slag does have some mad skills after all.”
Neon Boom laughed. “Of course! You should have seen the phat moves she laid on Tirek!”
Neon Bass turned to face Neon Boom and raised an eyebrow. “About Tirek...I was chatting him up in Tartarus, and he said he heard from Discord that you kicked the bucket.”
Neon Boom’s mouth curved up slightly. “So I guess I still have one fan…”
Neon Bass snorted. “Heh. Just one fan.”
Neon Boom growled again. “At least he’s a real fan and not ones you’ve mind-controlled!”
Neon Bass chortled, pacing around the alicorns with his accompanying soundtrack of wubs. “At least I had fans,” he said in his harsh dual-tone voice. “By the way, where is your little puppy who broke the world?”
“He’s away on business,” Twilight said. “On direct orders from Princess Celestia.”
Neon Bass swiveled his head to face Twilight and grinned cruelly. “Thanks, rig slag,” he said as his rainbow-hued horn crackled with purple energy, heavy guitar distortion playing. “You’ve been very helpful.”
“No!” Princess Neon Boom shouted as she rushed in—the whine of a theremin ushering in her charge—and smacked Neon Bass’s horn. It made contact with the sound of a snare drum beat, causing him to stagger back and grasp his horn.
“You tramp!” he shouted as he glared down Neon Boom, “I was just about to bring down the house on you two!”
Neon Boom smirked. “That’s no way to talk to your twin sis, bro.”
Neon Bass kept his glare trained on Neon Boom, their eyes locked. The school bell then rang.
Twilight looked towards the direction of the school. “That’s strange...school’s not supposed to be out for another hour.”
Neon Bass smirked. “That’s because we’re too cool for school.”
Twilight looked at Neon Bass and raised an eyebrow. “Huh?”
Neon Boom looked at Twilight. “It’s true. Whenever the two of us are this close to each other, everything within a twelve mile radius is rendered too cool for school.”
Twilight’s eyes popped open as she gasped. “An anti-education field? That’s horrible!”
Neon Bass snickered again. “So, it seems this snaztastic babe you’ve been boosting is actually some wack poser!”
Neon Boom growled yet again at Neon Bass as the sound of foals whooping and cheering echoed across Ponyville. “She is not a poser,” she said, “although she is the flyest honey you’ll ever meet!”
Neon Bass snorted. “She sounds like an egghead.”
Princess Neon Boom glowered at Neon Bass. “She is not an egghead.”
“If I may interject,” Twilight said, “Rainbow Dash often calls me an egghead, and after doing research on the term, I find the description to be rather apt.”
Neon Boom shut her eyes and buried her face into her hoof with the smooth tone of a triangle while Neon Bass fell to the ground and burst out in laughter, his fall punctuated by record scratches and extreme wubbage.
“What did I tell you,” Neon Bass worked out between fits of laughter, “major egghead!”
“I’m fine with being an egghead,” Twilight said while smiling.
Princess Neon Boom sighed as she tenderly placed her hoof on the ground, invoking a slight cymbal tap. “Not helping, Twilight.”
Twilight blushed. “Sorry.”
Neon Boom shook her head. “No, it’s chill.” She then turned to face her brother, still laughing on the ground. Her rainbow horn oozed out purple energy joined by an ethereal choir. “Now as for you,” she said.
Neon Bass swiveled his head to see his sister’s glowing horn and waved his hooves in front of him. “Wait!”
Neon Boom’s eyes narrowed. “Why should I wait?”
Neon Bass grinned cruelly. “Let’s have a battle.”
Neon Boom raised an eyebrow. “A battle?”
Neon Bass stood up, his hooves wubbing as he did so. “Battle.”
Neon Boom’s horn died down as she smirked. “Battle.”
Twilight Sparkle raised an eyebrow. “Battle?”
Neon Bass nodded. “Yes. A Battle of the DJs.”
Twilight shut her eyes, then opened them and facehoofed. “Why didn’t you just blast him?”
Neon Bass snickered. “Because she can never resist a challenge. Right, sis?”
Neon Boom looked away, then back at Neon Bass. “Whatever. So, where’s the rockingest place where we can lay out jams?”
Neon Bass glowered at Neon Boom. “I don’t know, I’ve been in Tartarus! Do you know any venues?”
Neon Boom shook her head. “Not really. I’ve spent the last thousand years at my castle in the sky.”
Neon Bass grunted. “Then how are we going to find a venue?”
Twilight cleared her throat. “I suppose I could list a possible selection.”
Neon Bass facehoofed with a wub, then set his hoof down with another wub. “So now we’re going to trust the poser egghead with our venue options?”
Neon Boom glared at Neon Bass. “Stuff it, bro.” She then smiled and looked at Twilight. “So, what ideas do you have for venue locations?”
Twilight rubbed her chin. “Hmmm...I’m sure Applejack would let you use Sweet Apples Acres—”
“—no, I’ve heard enough about Ponyville to know that something will go wrong.”
Twilight’s features dropped, then perked back up. “Oh! I know: how about the Coliseum in Cloudsdale—”
“—as if!” Neon Bass said. “That’ll put our viewer base way down! I don’t want to perform exclusively for featherbrains!”
Twilight hummed. “Maybe Canterlot?”
Neon Boom shook her head. “That won’t work either. Celie and Luna might get involved and banish Neon Bass to Tartarus before the battle is over.”
Twilight looked up at Princess Neon Boom and blinked. “...but isn’t that what we want?”
Neon Boom looked away as Neon Bass chuckled. “What did I tell you?” he said. “She can never turn down a challenge.”
Twilight narrowed her eyes at Neon Boom. “I can see that,” she said. Twilight went back to rubbing her chin. “How about Carneighgie Hall in Manehatten?”
“Carneighgie Hall?” both black alicorns said simultaneously, their dual voices combining into a truly disharmonic tone that caused the hairs on Twilight’s neck to stand on end.
Twilight rubbed her ears. “Okay, never do that again.”
“Okay,” the two black alicorns said at the same time. Twilight pressed her eyes shut and gritted her teeth.
“Anyway,” she continued, “yes, Carneighgie Hall. It’s a prestigious music hall that’s been around for over one hundred years. The only problem is that you probably won’t be able to get a performance for at least six months...”
“Perfect!” Neon Bass said, “that’ll give me enough time to perfect my demonic sound!”
Princess Neon Boom nodded. “It will also give me time to spruce up my tunes as well. Do you promise not to cause any trouble until then, bro?”
Neon Bass snorted. “What? And risk getting sent back to Tartarus? What do you think I am, an idiot?”
Neon Boom smiled. “All right, then. Go perfect your sound. I’ll see you in six months.”
Neon Bass grinned. “See you in six,” he said. He then extended his wings, sounding off record scratches, and flew away, scratching all the while.
Twilight’s eyes popped open. “Y-you just let him go?”
“Why not?” Neon Boom said. “Although undeniably evil and a playa-hayta, he’s still a stallion of his word.”
Twilight blinked. “B-but why did you just let him go? I could’ve rounded up my friends and used the Rainbow Power on him!”
Neon Boom giggled. “Because he’s right. I can never resist a challenge.”
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9 likes and one view....
You have done what I don't really like .... Which is use multiple accounts to make your likes go up
4811690 i resent that accusation.
What the fuck did I just read
4811690
I'm going to upvote this to spite you, because I don't like minorities.
4811696 unless lots of people preread this and liked it then that was my only justification
4811690
How is he exactly using said accounts to change the rating?
You're accusing with no proof whatsoever
and what you're seeing here is people who like him as a friend and just leave a like and simply pushing the 'Read Later' button or simply the server not showing the recent views.
4811705 That was a formatting error.
Thanks you for catching that.
4811716 never said they did just my first thought on what I saw
4811690
It's only been up for 15 minutes, and the views refresh every 20.
And now, to read this.
4811725 I know that but first thing I saw was that tbh and I don't dislike or like until I read the story and most of the time I don't dislike unless its really bad
Oh my .. The amount of dislikes on my first post ... Oh well... :P
4811724
Think before you post.
4811690 seriously?
4811735
I don't think anyone else around here speaks whatever the fuck language that was written in
It's like the 1960s had a horrible twin love child with Vinyl Scratch and Princess Luna.
This was my favourite part
4811765 umm... old news I guess...
looked further into this and found out this story was first liked on aug 2nd and that would mean that he had some people pre-read his story and form then on out until official post he would get either likes or dislikes and also he posted it on reddit as the referrals say
most likely posted story on reddit and had this story open to like and yesterday put story into a chapter and today posted it ...
smart I would say and should of looked at that first but you know ... overjustification hit me again
if im not right then I dont really know
4811766 you actually read it?
4811806
Could not parse it
This is so damn weird that I simply must have more.
I feel an overwhelming desire to knock their heads together. Anyone else?
"Why do these OCs exist?" some ask, because they are horrendous OCs indeed.
"Why, so we can make hilarious fanfiction mocking them, of course," says the wise man.
4811844 "And why should we mock them? Are they not people too?"
"The hell is wrong with you? Of course not!"
One sec 23:1
Nek minit 25:7
Dafuq is wrong with people?
4811974 I have no idea, CV.
No idea.
Is this supposed to be incomplete? (I need to know for organizational reasons.)
4812065 oh, yeah. sorry.
It's supposed to be incomplete.
4812081 I'll remove it from Short Stories for now, then. (It might qualify for the Multiple Chapters section later.)
4812090 Alright, that's cool.
Well it would seem like I pissed off some people
Oh well... but hey that doesn't mean I can't write a review of it
Well might as well put some disclaimers here before I start.
I am not here to hurt any feelings as I write this if I find something unpleasant then I'll say it but this will be more comical than serious
So lets start.
All of that alicorn magic is getting to her
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after one small paragraph I saw you have this spelling thing down...
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For a moment I thought she was in her library
#savetree
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Oh my...
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Tis begun!
fimfiction-static.net/images/story_images/60428.png?1351659719
Yep she has a bit of red on her.... must be ketchup
You mean this
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Just imagine the colors
clothes on ponies! just remember
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you know you could italicized Twilight's name
“I’m looking for a Twilight Sparkle,’”
just a bit to punctual
that must sound weird... and demonic...
Her eyes must hurt from seeing so much color on a pony
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TheyoushouldknowmeandI'mtooawesomeandlegit cliche...
Wow say that 20 times
Twilight don't act dumb you heard her right....Rightttt
geez such a long title... I wonder how long is Celestia's titles if shes lived over 1000 years
Oh Celestia why you hide secrets from the ponies... no wonder people think your a tyrannic overlord
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What? umm one she didn't say that and two... ponies you who you are did you forget the season three finale
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blame M.A larson
theIknowyoumorethanyouknowme cliche
Twilestia anyone?
ploy? you mean plot right... and if thats a spelling mistake the I take back what I said earlier and also it didn't really matter if Tirek knew or not he was unstoppable by then
Yes twilight just accept the facts... just like you do every season...
and good question Twilight...
So you're telling me that you made dubstep before it was cool...
Discord liking dubstep... hmm... I can actually see that.
You should go to earth and wow most of the Brony community...
aww poor her... and who says cray cray...?
...
yep this is getting crazy.
*insert overly crazy scene gif here*
i.imgur.com/5tfUY65.gif
Yep this is getting more and more interesting ....
oh excuse me your highness...
oh god... why? why is this a valid reason
NSFW on the way and rig slag? shes no cigarette bud you know.
So they make musical noise? and and this became west-side Philly now
shipping intensifies...
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this kind of slang disturbs me...
I'm use to this but in a fanfic...
Geez more tension than a catapult...
So this is a battle between dubstep and heavy metal?
perosanlly I like metal and rock better than dubstep
*angers brony community...*
next scene contains egghead...
not worth my time....
puta mardre buey... porque hacen tanto desmarde mierda...
sorry had to say that in spanish...
you know what Twilight I agree with you...
next scene... find that location...
I have lots of geography jokes but its late and I want to finish this...
oh god I can actually hear that.... AHHHHHHHH!!!
Give them 6 month's...
I don't want to hear this... unless if you want to sound like daft punk with that house then I'm not coming
I agree but Twilight thats too easy... and boring...
ok... thats was interesting...
I... I .... I don't know what to say... at least it has a comedy and random tag on it...
Right................................................RIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm out hopefully this made somepony wonder why I made this...
for fun I say...
...
Needs more Alicorn OCs.
And changelings. Definitely changelings.
Ooh! And those "hooman" things!
And don't forget to ship all of the cannon characters with the Alicorn OCs and end the story with a Mature-Sex chapter.
And you forgot to make them anthro ponies.
And Molestia, and Gamer Luna, and all the memes about bananas!
Oh, and
If you add these, maybe the girl that was murdered something something something won't kill you!
4812306 That was a very enjoyable review.
4812314 Upvoted for great justice!
4812383 thank you :D
4812383 y tank u
4812306
A wild wall of text appeared!
Go, Reading!
Reading used Read!
Wild wall of text was defeated!
I having a feeling this gonna be one of those days... I'll read it in the morning...
4811801 well i actually guessed it would be prereaders and friends editors.
Ok...
Princess and Prince of Clubn' music, Check.
Prestigious Symphonic Music hall to be used for a DJ face-off, Check.
Prince of Dubstep escapes from Tartarus, Check.
Ok, let's see what we are missing... gargantuan screen, smoke machine, lazer/pyrotechnic show, unhealthy amounts of pony bead masks, Lockin' n' poppn', that one pony that screams 'I love you!', ludicrous costumes
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4814977 Upvote for comment
4815222 Why thank you.
4812306 Dear Celestia, this was an excellent summary.
5027387 its fun doing that... Makes you think what's funny
*Grins* This looks like fun.