• Member Since 11th Mar, 2013
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TheGreatEater


E

A Lunaverse Fic

Ever since she first rose the sun Celestia has meditated, and reflected upon herself. This act has given her balance and helped her center herself not only for the day ahead, but for her spirit. But ever since her sister gave her control over the sun once more, as well as the insights given by the newest Element Bearers. She's been feeling off.

Today is the day though when she takes up her old ritual, and contemplates as well as reflects on the past. Seeking solace to what ails her, and hopefully strengthen her insight to her actions. Today, is the day she regains the balance her sister's betrayal has stripped her of.

This fic is experimental for me. Hopefully I pulled it off. It's entirely in Corona's PoV and is well, to put it lightly to heavily insane. But in a way humanizes [ponyizes?] her, sort of like how the Mane 6 saw her near the end of Return to Tambelon.

Editor and pre-readers:Talon and Thorn.

Major Contributions, and input while writing: Talon and Thorn

Framework for Fic: Linked fics and forum in the A/N.

Review: http://grimwolfden.tumblr.com/post/94082744717/review-and-analysis-burden-of-the-sun-by-thegreateater

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 16 )

Marvelous work, and a great insight to the inner works of Celestia´s mind. The part of the "final solution" on the Crystal Kingdom reminds me to the Fall of Prince Arthas :moustache:
Only a detail: Celestia should know already at this point about the identity of the "interloper alicorn": Cadenza, her niece.

4693264

She really didn't seem to in Tamberlon. She referred to her as "the other Alicorn" [if memory serves me properly]. So it doesn't look like she knows more than that she's another of their kind, but beyond that isn't really up to date in modern culture. Nor anything really of anything from when she was locked up. [After "Voice of the Sun" probably, but idk.]

And thank you for the compliment :twilightsmile:.

4693311

“I have a daughter. An alicorn daughter,” Luna interrupted before Corona could speak, trying the only thing she could think of: reaching out to her as her sister, setting aside title and rank and responsibility and simply trying to appeal to the bond they shared. “You’re an aunt.”
Whatever Corona was going to say was lost at that. For a second - just a second – the glow of power left her eyes in surprise. “Impossible,” she declared at length. “Long did we try to produce children. Both of us. It never worked. The meek seed of a mortal stallion can find no purchase within us.” She leaned forward slightly, eyes narrowing. “You speak of the imposter sitting in Cavallia, no doubt. A mere shadow of a true alicorn – probably some hybrid creature you somehow endowed with immortality.”
“She wasn’t born…normally,” Luna admitted, gritting her teeth and trying to let the slights against Cadance slide. She noted that Corona wasn’t using archaic Equestrian anymore – a good sign? She couldn’t tell. “The circumstances of her birth are…are complicated.” Luna glanced down for a moment. “She owes her existence to me, though, and she was once a part of me, but now isn’t. She was born from me. She’s my daughter by any measure, a true alicorn, strong and beautiful. Your niece.”
Corona stared for several long moments, one eye narrowing slightly. “That explains her name,” she said. “Cadenza…Cavallian for Cadance. You wished to name any daughter of yours Cadance, I recall.”
Luna felt a flutter in her chest. She remembered! More to the point, what she was saying – she believed when Luna said that Cadance was a true alicorn. Corona had listened to her. “Yes,” she said. “That’s...that’s her name. Cadance.”
“She claimed to be me,” Corona said, stomping a hoof.
Luna cast her mind back nearly a thousand years, remembering the one time that Cadance had met Corona, when the latter was still locked in the Sun. “She thought she was,” Luna tried. “I…didn’t raise her. She had been brought up thinking she was you, reborn. I told her the truth.” Luna took a step forward. Corona didn’t give ground – maybe, that was another good sign? Luna kept herself at the ready, regardless. “I…I only just recently told her that I was her mother. A mistake – I should have told her a thousand years ago. Like I should have been there for you, helped you when you needed it. I’ve made so many mistakes, but I’m starting to put them right.” Luna took another cautious step forward. “I want to help you, Tia.”
Corona was silent for several long moments more, before turning her gaze once more to Luna, eyes narrowing as she shook her head. “When I have reclaimed my rightful crown, traitor, I shall afford her mercy, offer her a subordinate position to my throne. If forced, I shall banish her within the moon. I shall not slay her. But she will not stand in my way!”

4693589

Fixed it to say:

And that waif, was just a byproduct of a sad little pony who missed her sister. While enraging, seeing it through Luna’s eyes, it made sense that she who was weaker than me in the later years, would attempt to fill her heart with an impostor. Although I’m was glad that, my little talk with her got her to stop pretending to be me glorious self. I still need to talk to her one day to ensure she carries no delusions on to who she is and isn’t. But Cadance, I remember my little sister talking about having a foal named Cadance when we were younger. I can't wait to see if she can be made to see reason more than her faux mother did.

Thank you for pointing that out for me. Does that fixed up passage look better to you?

She still doesn't realize that she cannot live their lives for them. She's less crazy but she still insists on doing everything for everypony because she 'knows' best. This means that instead of being Megatron, she's POWDERED TOAST MAAAAAANNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!

4777986

Yeah for the life of me I can't seem to write a L!Verse fic that can get canon :trixieshiftright:. Although I'm more disappointed that Date of the Fire Diamond didn't get canon (even with Black Belts help making it), this while not it didn't make canon at least the upvote : downvote ratio and comments are good. Considering this was an experimental piece for me, that's a nice silver lining :twilightsmile:.


4778486

Yep. She's the dark version of Momlestia. Loves "all her little ponies", and "wants them happy" ... ends up trying to take over the world. She's the living incarnation of "helicopter parent".

A lot of the speech- and thought-patterns throughout the story felt kind of off to me. I always 'hear' Corona as being very formal and regal, especially in her own head, so that was a bit of a distraction for me. As for the story itself, though, I think you did an excellent job of forming the established L!verse canon of Celestia's fall into a single narrative while also adding in some new elements.

And dammit, Sombra, this is why we can't have nice things!

4780040

Thanks for the comments :twilightsmile:, And I agree with your sentiment on Sombra, he was so fun to write.

Not too bad, a few typos here and there but not many of them. Ah, Celestia... you've got blinders on so big they're the size of mountains. :ajbemused: And you rewrite history to a rather disturbing degree, too.

4794905

Honestly all I new about Sombra in L!Verse was that he got nuked in the Crystal Empire, and not much else. So I thought a student like in that one L!Verse fic that made Purgatory, and killed off thousands of warriors and tried to enslave the Kirin / World. Would make the blow much worse (I mean you have two princesses training a warlord that kills tons of innocence twice. Is going to be quite psychologically damaging).

And the rest well, yeah, oops! I can honestly say that the ruling on this fic was fair though. Still sad that DotFD didn't hit canon, and I don't know when I'll be inspired to give writing L!Verse another go [don't know what I could write that would fit their needs, and not feeling inspired atm.]

Thanks for the comment :twilightsmile:, and yeah, this was pretty fun, and challenging to write.

4795689 Bah, both this and Day of the Fire Diamond deserved to be canon, but I won't swell on that. Great fic, still.

I just wanted to tell you I made a little review and analysis of your story. you can find it here:
http://grimwolfden.tumblr.com/post/94082744717/review-and-analysis-burden-of-the-sun-by-thegreateater

4814755

WOOT! Another one of your reviews. Thank you.

[edit]

Linked your review to the long description.

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