This story is a sequel to Ascension
The first story in what will hopefully be my StewardVerse, an alternate timeline, where, in order to save her sister, it was Celestia who was banished to the Sun for a thousand years.
This story comes only a few years before that fateful day as Celestia and Luna make their final stand against the villainous King Sombra in the Crystal Empire. They will face magic darker than they can possibly imagine and a tyrant who's cruelty is greater even than Discord.
However, in the end, is it possible that their greatest enemies will in fact be each other?
Chapters (1)
Holy throne..... I knew Celestia could cut loose when angry, but I wasn't expecting that!
yo holy FUCK that was awesome.
10/10
Alright... so I'll do my best to give an actual review of this. First off; wonderfully written. Pacing was perfect. It filled me with suspense and dread. It made me question what every single next word would bring. I loved it outright, and I want to delve into more of your work because of it.
However; I'm confused about the timeline. Does this take place before or after Luna's return? Also, Queen Amore; is what supposed to be Cadance, or is that a reference to the comics?
7945694
Wow thanks for the awesome comment!
Hope you enjoyed my other fics as much as you did this one.
Since this is set in a wider alternate universe I can see how you might get confused. It's set before Nightmare Moon and the banishment, in fact the origin of the Nightmare is actually present here if you look close enough.
Queen Amore is a reference to the comics. She might not be exactly the same, but she's not a big enough player here for that to make a difference. Either way she's out of the picture and Cadance is nowhere near to being born yet.
Out of interest what parts did you enjoy most? I have to admit I'm particularly proud of the Nightmare sequences and the fight was something a little different from my usual so I'd be interested to hear what you think.
7954035 I suspected this was a 'before the nightmare' but I'm a stickler for details, and what made me thing this was post-banishment was their speech. I mean, I wrote a 'before the nightmare' romance where I used entirely middle English, or 'iambic pentameter' to write the dialogue, so when I read something that takes place in the past, my brain auto-expects there to be more oldenspoke. But, I did indeed notice the rise of Nightmare you mentioned; Luna's jab at Celestia's mischaracterizing of 'darkness' being one of them, if there were more.
Sadly, I haven't read anything else from you. I've been busy with my own works recently, re-writing a first chapter and all. When I'm writing, I don't read. Dunno why.
Favorite part, hm? It's hard to pick, really. Probably when Luna went full "I will fuck you with the crazy dark magic I can wield" mode on him, but it ended up not working. That blood-oath was fucking neato.
Also: YE SHALL. THOU SHALT is the proper wording for that.
What, I enjoyed Shakespeare!
Have a good day, my friend, and I'm glad my comment could make you happy.
The Fall
This story was Really good and your dialogue was in character and really fitting and well worded and the best part about the story. But I think I found something of a niche in your writing
it's very dialogue heavy while mostly good dialogue I'm starting to suspect you may have issues writing action scenes. Your words convey a lot of things but words aren't the only way to convey something. While that may just be your style of writing and there's nothing wrong with that. Descriptive writing and action scenes are a bit of a specialty of mine so to say this story left me wanting more of both may just entirely be my fault.
8167224 Haha. Thanks for the comment. Yeah I'll admit action scenes don't come all that naturally to me.
If you have any particular bits of sage advice feel free to PM. I'm always looking for constructive criticism and you seem to be rather adept at that.
On a non-review related note since you enjoyed this I'd suggest you check out the sequel to this The Cost of Harmony. Since it's so short I doubt it could support a review on it's own, but it is a rather good bridge between this and Solar Steward IMHO.