- Member Since 9th Dec, 2012
- offline last seen Aug 2nd, 2018
Zpothu
If I ever saw a therapist, he’d leave the room saying: “That guy’s creepier than three Draculas, two Count Choculas, and an Alucard.”
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Oh ho that's rich
My friend, this fic is what the brits call pure shite. In what world would good Austrian pony like Twilight just randomly go against her friends and tutors and do so through sexual means? Is sex crucial part in pony battle plan?
Try again, motherfuckair
This....is...a fucking comedy GOLDMINE.
It goes beyond the realm of pure shit and transcends into a few thousand words of solid gold. Literally every scene is more mind blowingly stupid then the last, and each leap in logic required to comprehend how it exists is like challenging your sanity in new ways.
I need more.
I enjoy anything where Twilight goes batshit crazy. I'll be watching tho one.
4545178 Can't tell if that's sarcasm or a funny insult
...
It's all good.
4545276 Thanks! Never fear, there will be more of this abomination!
I'll release new chapters every 1-2 days, I think. I've already drafted the next ten or so chapters; it's just that they aren't much good yet and so I need to dress them up.
I think the story gets funnier. You won't wanna miss what happens next.
4545537 Thanks, friend!
Short but to the point, I sorta like that. I hope that means we'll get updates fairly quickly. Looking forward to more dead ponies. Bonus points if Fleur is decapitated during sex.
Yeah, I'm a sick puppy.
4547348 I'm glad I've got another sick puppy on my side. It is divine.
I will post the next 3 chapters tomorrow night, probably. I'm still a couple story arcs away from the cover picture part.
Fleur meets an interesting end. If you don't like what I got planned, I can write an alternate ending or something of that nature. Sex-decapitation is best decapitation.
Nice so far. I'm hoping to see an increasingly high death count, and possibly for Twilight to become increasingly shameless or even public with her actions over time.
4552793 You're right, I need to increase the frequency of deaths. I guess I feared getting campy, but you're right I need to stop giving everyone a long farewell tour.
I hope "gorged themselves all night on gore and sex" means they gave the corpse a nice humping at some point :)
But yes, yay for killing the fuck up!
4557527 Yeah. You could totally read that into that!
"And so it came to pass that the dragon had his third orgasm of the night fucking Derpy's dead body."
I might need a week or so to get the next story arc right. Just try not to build up too much expectation because I have no idea how well I can pull it off.
This deserves far more dislikes.
It's as bad as the worst out of the furry fandom.
4565907 I think my upvote/downvote ratio is reasonable considering my strengths and weaknesses as a writer. The upvoters probably like my story for the content and the downvoters are probably hung up on my flawed execution.
Yes, naked ponies are sexy. If that makes me furry so be it. Every episode is what I call soft porn.
4567364 No, I mean that it's absolutely awful from a storytelling point of view and relies ENTIRELY on feeble fetish material for shock and clop value.
As in, the very worst of furry fanfiction.
4571166 Oh. I was hoping you'd say something really mean so I could start masturbating. Ah, what the hell. You tried your best.
...why do I like this story? It's fucked up on so many levels and yet I can't stop reading, it confuses my psyche.
noooo dragons gonna die :(
trixie or coltage?
;.; what about derpy!
also this sounds very painful :( i feel bad for trixie
This is.....a odd story. Poor derpy
4581687 lol, I never thought that someone would interpret it that way
But you're right, I guess Twilight could be luring him to his death. It's only going to be contradicted by the cannon of the very next chapter.
4581706 I love getting comments on chapters that never get comments!
I didn't want to spell out her name, but at the time I thought there was only one known blue unicorn. I forgot Colgate existed.
4581748 Thank god you didn't see my first draft of this story.
I am sensitive to your feelings. Maybe I shouldn't spell out when characters are in pain. Then, I can leave it up to the reader's interpretation.
It is a cool idea, but there are a few parts that I would have liked to see more detail on. I wish there were like a dozen more chapters.
4585470 Sorry that I rushed it, but I wanted people to finally know how it ends so that they understand the cover art.
I definitely considered writing about how Twilight captures all three Princesses and publicly tortures them, but I had my doubts I could pull it off.
Oh god, you want a dozen new chapters, eh!? I'm glad that there are some who would read it. And I thank you for your support! But for now, it's over. I might rewrite it later on in life if I become a better writer.
4585636 I would suggest trying some one-off single chapter stories. Choose a hot situation and put as much detail as possible.
4585655 Good idea!
You know, at least "Cupcakes" and "Rainbow Factory" had something like a comprehensible plot structure.
This is just stupid. Heck, even "The Spiderses" was written better. And it was a trollfic.
4606217 Hey, my story is good. It even has cute naked pony slaves getting sacrificed. What more could you ask for?
So you found the plot incomprehensible? Well, I suppose I could add more detailed exposition, but then how boring would that be? I've spared you exposition because it's a drag. Now thank me.
I for one enjoyed this story, I would have however liked to seen how a few of the ponys went, Like Fluttershy I'm sure hers would have been amusing to read about. And also the last slave I think you could have done a little better, more detail as it where.
Besides that it was an intersting story.... Still a LOT left out because of massive time skips but besides that pretty good...
4626065 Thanks for your comment! The issues you raised are things I did indeed worry about, but I didn't know enough about what people thought.
My main goal was to stay on the track of what I considered were the "main story arcs". That is because I'm not sure how many words people are willing to read for something like this. At 12,000 words, we're looking at three hours of reading material. I couldn't get a prereader to touch that with a ten foot pole, believe me I tried.
If I were to go into detail about the death of the mane six, that would be tangential to the main story. I could always add new chapters, though. I may consider doing that.
As for the massive time skips, they exist because it's too predictable what's going to happen within them. If I went into detail on the deaths of the slave ponies, I fear that the reader will say something like "when is something UNEXPECTED going to happen?" The way it is now, the reader gets to use their imagination to fill in the mundane details. Or maybe they get off on mundane details. Who knows?
Beyond that, I agree that I actually could have done better on certain parts. Thank you for telling me my story is pretty good, anyway! I'm always clueless until I get good feedback.
4627986
I try, hehe. I did enjoy the story though, The consept of Evil Twilight is intersting and I liked how she was done.
I'll have to look for more stories with Evil Twilight in them maybe i'll find some good ones?
4628362 I don't know of any, but if you find something good let me know!
4628374 I'll do my best
Best story ever ( but a little to much pg-13 for me)
4665472 Thanks, friend! You're the first person to throw around the phrase "best story ever".
While I wouldn't go that far, I know that some of my story does live up to that hype. I'm thankful that you noticed what was good.
I'm curious if you're saying that the story was too tame or too violent. PG-13 falls in this middle ground so I'm not sure which side of it you're on.
4667402
Not to vielot i meant its to much on the molestia side for me, not that much,anyway this is just me. Im listening to classical gonna change it...nvm its over :)
........The fuck did I just read? And why did I finish it?
Sweet nympho psych twilight. Think the power and sexual repression has broke her :p
hm, an interesting story
>pony-trafficking
>utopia
I guess the "Canterlot underground" doesn't drink the water; and Celestia doesn't care as long as they don't make too much trouble.
(Also: inspiration?)
7577810
Yes I agree with that line of reasoning. I hadn't thought of that before.
I haven't read that book before. There's a popular belief that the government puts fluorine in the water to placate and calcify a part of the human brain that when healthy is supposed to enable free-thinking and psychedelic experiences that would make us more difficult to indoctrinate into what society wants us to believe reality is.
Personally, I don't believe that fluorine is much worse than any other toxins, but I keep the consumption to a minimum. Because of the placebo effect, it is best to honor your belief systems about whether you think the water is safe to drink or not. Anyhow, that was the inspiration.
7579256
...You keep water consumption to a minimum? I'm glad I don't have a stake in your health.