Where Are You?

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Fluttershy and Twilight go on a walk together. Fluttershy leads Twilight to her favourite trail in a forest that Twilight barely knew existed.

But how are you supposed to enjoy a good walk when your tour guide disappears?

Chapters (1)

Comments ( 11 )

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fuck mcdickbutt

fuck mcdickbutt #1 · Apr 5th, 2014 · 1 · 6 ·

Serial killer Fluttershy gets me hard

Anon 3

Anon 3 #2 · Apr 5th, 2014 · 5 · 1 ·

Another story that makes the cardinal mistake of forgetting that twilight is one of if not the most magically powerful being in equestria and could easily get out of this situation with a little logic/magic/teleportation.

Justy

Justy #3 · Apr 5th, 2014 · 3 · 2 ·

Dumb, out of character, pointless. All in all, just your everyday grimderp shit.

Grey_Mane

Grey_Mane #4 · Apr 7th, 2014 · · 1 ·

What... The... Frickafrack. That was messed up.

AisheyruFox

AisheyruFox #5 · Apr 11th, 2014 · · ·

O.O -.- O.O;

TempesttheDragnix

TempesttheDragnix #6 · Apr 19th, 2014 · · ·

Lots of tense confusion, it keeps switching from present to past tense. Also, 'catched' is not a word, Fluttershy is OOC, not a lot of build-up, and poor writing style. The premise is interesting though, and I like the setting of walking through the woods and the foreshadowing.

In other words, 4/10. I suggest redoing this, as most of the problems are from the way the story is written, and not the story itself. You show promise, though, so keep practicing.

TempesttheDragnix