• Member Since 8th Oct, 2013
  • offline last seen Jul 2nd, 2015

Flying Fantasy Horse


I can be both a positive sunflower and a cynical f**k. It depends which life I am living. (Formerly known as Riffmaster)

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Something is wrong with Rarity. She is still her normal self; she just isn't really the same.

Sweetie Belle doesn't think there is anything wrong. After all, what could be wrong with her sister?

Really, what could be wrong?

What could be wrong?

What is wrong?


Artwork by AnaduKune
In pop box, 9/20/2014.
Prequel, (spit), is out!

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 54 )

A pretty good dark story, and only one grammatical error. It's hasn't, not hasen't.

5028243 Yw, and WOW that was quick.

5028248 Don't worry, me neither. The little I DO have is getting sucked up by a story I'm working on called Closed Cases.

I don't really know what to expect from it, but I plan on doing a one shot like this sometime in the future. I mean, it's not a problem going insane to do it for me.

Powerful story, dude. It's especially chilling because this is something that probably happens in the real world every day. I also admire how the language sounded like it was actually coming out of a kid's mouth.

The ending was also satisfying. I am eager to see you write more in the future.

5028274

This story was slightly inspired by both the Ray Rice thing and a plot point in Eugene and Dominick.

5028258 It was actually really good, I just donĀ“t read much of this genre. :twilightblush:

5028279 I actually haven't seen Dominick and Eugene, but I am familiar with the Ray Rice incident. Abusive people need to be locked away for years to see how it feels.

5028299

Ah. You should give the movie a try. I was almost in tears after it.

I just realized it was Adrian Peterson that did that to his kids, not Ray Rice. But both deserve the same level of hate.

Agreed.

And yeah I'll have to see the movie. My focus in school is actually film so I need to familiarize myself with good movies.

5028292 You should read more, it's probably the genre that creates some of the best stories on the site. Along with some of the worst...

This story, had a nice, um, plot?

Totally not referring to the cover image. Okay, okay, I am.

However, this was actually an accurate view of an abusive relationship, and so deliberately dark and sad, like it promised! You made me cry!! :fluttercry: Good job, good job.

Good written story. I couldn't say anything better. I would gladly view more of your works. :heart:

This was so dark I had to use nightvision goggles to read, well done

Good story, hit me like a piano falling from the sky.

This was so dark, thai I didn't saw how it was going to end. :pinkiegasp:
Good.

aww yeah, i have nerves of steel! I didn't cry!:trixieshiftright: no, seriously, this fanfic is great!:pinkiehappy: well done:yay:

That was a really good story. I didn't quite see that coming at all! I thought it would go toward another tangent, but I'm glad that Sweetie Bell was able to be taken away. Yay for Stockholm's Syndrome :(

5030900

You! The dude who wrote the story about the notes and the death guys and shit.

5030922
Oh, right. That guy.
And there's you, the one who wrote that sad AU in which Rarity was abusive to Sweetie Belle. Good times.

Woah...hardcore...and from Sweetie's perspective no less. Bold work, and pretty potent too!

5030337 Exactly what i was thinking, though the stolkholm syndrome always makes me think of pokemon...for obvuios reasons:twistnerd::unsuresweetie::yay::trollestia::moustache::facehoof::eeyup::duck::twilightsmile::twilightsheepish::twilightoops::twilightangry2::twilightblush::trixieshiftright::trixieshiftleft::scootangel::rainbowhuh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowkiss::rainbowwild::raritycry::raritydespair::raritystarry::raritywink::rainbowdetermined2::rainbowderp::pinkiesmile::pinkiesick::pinkiesad2::pinkiehappy::pinkiegasp::pinkiecrazy::derpyderp2::derpytongue2::flutterrage::flutterrage::fluttershbad::fluttershyouch::fluttershysad::heart::derpyderp1::coolphoto::applejackunsure::applejackconfused::applecry::ajsmug::ajsleepy::ajbemused:

Short but interesting. :twilightsmile:

Very interesting dark story about abuse. Too bad this story is a one shot, I see quite some potential for the story. :twilightsmile:

5034909

I am thinking of expanding the concept. Maybe not quite a sequel, but perhaps a prequel.

5035190 That would be cool! I'll be following you. :twilightsmile: (Also, \m/ :scootangel:)

5031018 We told you you are recognisable :pinkiehappy:

What does sic mean? Seriously i don't know what that means.

5038188

From Wiki:

The Latin adverb sic ("thus"; in full: sic erat scriptum, "thus was it written") inserted immediately after a quoted word or passage, indicates that the quoted matter has been transcribed exactly as found in the source text, complete with any erroneous or archaic spelling, surprising assertion, faulty reasoning, or other matter that might otherwise be taken as an error of transcription.

The notation's usual purpose is to inform the reader that any errors or apparent errors in quoted material do not arise from errors in the course of the transcription, but are intentionally reproduced, exactly as they appear in the source text. It is generally placed inside square brackets, to signal that it is not part of the quoted matter; and is traditionally printed in italics, as is customary with foreign words.

Sic may also be used derisively, to call attention to the original writer's spelling mistakes or erroneous logic.

It's likely the last meaning that the author's using.

5039729 It's what you put in a quote when there's an error that's actually part of the quote.
For example: "They is (sic) a bunch of retards." -Jackson Fucking Kentucky

This is cool. And creepy. Poor Sweetie... :pinkiesad2:

The big issue I have with this story is that the fact it's Rarity and Sweetie Belle involved in this story is basically completely irrelevant. Their actual characters play no real role in this story. You could just as easily replace them with any other two random characters, or even just a couple of OCs, and it'd work just as well.

5099420

Thanks for that piece of criticism. I agree that they do seem like cardboard cut-outs. The one thing I did try for was to make Sweetie Belle innocent enough, that way her character would make sense. But I guess I didn't try too hard with Rarity.

Have you read the prequel? I tried to expand on Rarity's character so there would at least be a motive.

Wow I hope Rarity gets help for her anger problem and what happened to her and learns what she was doing is wrong. I also hope Sweetie Bell is alright and gets help also and makes some good friends.

what was going.

what was going on.

Ah so it's a darker universe where those little adventures where all in their heads.

The ponies in uniforms must be FPS (Foal Protection Services) or to be more clear their the ponified version of ACS (They are a children protection agency)

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