My name is Drake McMillan.
I am a brony.
Not a hardcore fan by any perception of the word, but I do enjoy the show from time to time. The episodes are either a hit or miss for me, which is understandable considering the demographic they're aiming for. It's really not the best show in the world, in fact some episodes are so utterly terrible that I can't sit through the first five minutes without stopping completely!
So seriously fate.
Isn't that enough reason NOT to throw me into Equestria?
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Author's note: CANCELED! Nobody wanted this, nobody likes this and seriously, I have better stories in me to write.
Chapters (5)
3 k words and we have no clues about who the MC is, why he got sucked in Equestria or why the main cast is already here for him in battle formation.
Plus, Brony in Equestria = no world or characters interractions building, wich is really bad.
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Thank you very much for your input! I greatly appreciate it, considering I never get any kind of feedback from anyone.
Yet another ho-hum, uninteresting copycat of "I'm Not A Brony, Get Me Out Of Equestria!" which is a terrible story to begin with.
Fail.
Gg.
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So what's worse? The 'I'm not a brony, get me out' ones, or the 'I am a brony' kind of wish fulfilment ones?
Final story description review!
Firstly, thank you for the disclaimers. I was afraid that this would be like so many other HiE stories--OH WAIT.
There are plenty of stories that involve self-loathing bronies or even outright haters getting sent to Equestria. I appreciate that your first HiE fic was not only wildly popular, but also respectably long, but that's most likely because it felt inspired and not just Fic Idea C. This is Fic Idea C, so it's not going to get much recognition as a consequence, sadly.
I refer to my aforementioned bias against HiE as to why I can't get into the specifics of why exactly this premise is actually bad, per se (seeing as "overused" doesn't mean "bad"); I can, however, state that I feel a comedy tag would be appropriate based on the description. I guess it's nice that you didn't tag it with romance and make it mature-clop, though that would probably increase the favorability of the fic. All the writers who do clop end up getting astronomically higher ratings simply because so much of the brony community is just horny teenagers who want to hear about ponies (or ponies as humans) banging literally everything. This doesn't really stand on its own because it's not a new idea, but cloppers don't seem to mind... so, if you wanted to salvage this, I'd actually recommend making it a clop.
I don't read clop or HiE, though, so I would definitely never crack this one open.
On the bright side, I guess the dude's face on the picture is somewhat funny.
Right, that concludes this week's Review with Scootareader! Join me next week when I go post on every single one of Regidar's stories and somehow manage to convince him to fall in love with me!
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Neither. they're both generally awful.
I actually think this HiE is more unique than the majority on this site, I mean, he has no special traits on earth right? And unlike so many others, he still doesn't have any on the other side.
There are lots of other stories that do this too, but I always appreciate a HiE fic that doesn't go from "normal average person" to "somehow escaping or defeating a manticore or a pack of Timberwolves without a permanent injury".
No matter how good someone is at writing a way out of those situations, it always feels like they were never in serious danger since its the start of the story and most writers wouldn't trap their character in a wheelchair for life during the arrival chapter.
There also hasn't been some contrived reason for the elements to shoot at him whilst painting him in a good light, they just reacted immediately without going on and on about crazy monsters or what have you. I do not doubt that this will change soon enough, but I just can't be bothered reading many more fics where it was all a big misunderstanding or convenient accident that ponies react negatively, (from the humans POV anyway).
My main bit of advice would be to keep his emotions a little less unstable, he goes from nearly pissing himself in fear, a short bit of relief to shouting insults at characters he likes in the space of a minute. All the while ignoring facts like, If they shoot him again, so what? More pretty and harmless lights.
Anyway, liking the story so far, some good humor sprinkled in is nice, can I have some more?
Edit: I also don't agree with scootareader on this, it doesn't HAVE to be clop to get better reviews, some of the highest rated stories I have ever seen barely leave the everyone rating and you can attract pervy teens with a non clop story, that's what the teen rating is for.
looking at the title right now and the description and thats pretty much me i a nutshell lets see what we got
ok this is very well done almost everything you have written in this so far is about exactly what i would have done in that situation its so close its scary
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Thank you all for the feedback you have been giving me. I highly appreciate it and will work towards being a better writer from the information you have given. If you are following this story, I hope the future chapter I have planned so far will be satisfactory and answer all questions.
i like this it make me wonder what would happen if humans could be immune to magic or at
least absorb it making them immune to magic meaning they would have a lot of power so if
a random human came to Equestria they would be extremely powerful. because pony's aren't
as strong as humans (pony's not horses). but anyway that's just my thoughts please keep making
more chapters i would like to find out what happens next
this story deserves more thumbs up then down what is wrong with people these days
I'm sure that this story isn't meant to be serious unless said otherwise I'm going with that assumption
I like it.Its better than that **** those people call stories.Now the ideas are not original and they suck.Most of the Naruto crossovers are trash with horrible plots.Thank you for making something REMOTELY good.
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Simple,they are idiots who have not taste anymore because they have become use to reading trash and calling it good when they are so desperate to satisfy their thirst for a good read.
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Oh sweet Jesus. Not this story.
Well, I'm still not removing it. I still have the outline somewhere around here, but after the dip in rating this story took, well, I think I'm just going to stick to writing pony.exe, thank you.
Hey, is this another one of those "It's a brony in equestria story, BUT HE HATES EQUESTRIA!" stories?
That's not a clever twist.