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// Chapter 4: Pissed off in Ponyville 
// Story: Well, Piss. 
// by Blue Blaze {COMET} 
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The walk to Ponyville was silent. Twilight had nothing else to say to me, and I had nothing else to say to her. The top of my mouth was tasting sour, my dehydration causing me to smack my lips together once in a while. I knew the other girls felt nervous around me now that I was pissed, but I didn't care. They could think whatever they wanted about me. I was the invader here, after all. I was the 'monster' that they were so prepped for to tackle and take down as soon as I arrived, no matter if I wanted to arrive there in the first place or not.

I couldn't blame Twilight for her answer; it really wasn't her fault that I was here in the first place, and the poor girl clearly felt bad about my plight. But fuck, if I was going to be stuck here for the rest of my life, then god damn it, I have the right to complain! No portal, no going back. Twilight had told me that she had no idea how the portal was created, ergo, she had no idea how to produce another one, let alone have it transport me in the right direction, because even if she DID know, it might end up sending me to some random-ass planet where butts that have cars with square wheels dominate the place! 

I yelled at her. I fucking yelled at her. Hell, I screamed murder at her, and the others didn't like it one bit. They were on my case in an instant, saying that it wasn't in her control that I got here and that I was being mean to her and yadda yadda yadda. Applejack's scowl was pretty killer, Pinkie got up right in my face and I swear to god, if Rarity had the ability to shoot daggers out of her eyes she would have. Rainbow Dash wanted to knock me out right then and there, with her hooves held up and everything. I taunted her, telling her that she didn't have the balls to punch me. I wanted her to take a swing. I wanted a reason to fucking light her face up. But then Twilight stopped everything. She said that it was alright, and that I had the right to be mad, and that I didn't really do anything bad to her. That's when I started walking towards Ponyville. I had enough of their shit.

"Umm…" Pinkie said, making all of us stop and turn around to face her. "Where are we going?"

They all looked at me. I was so deep in my thoughts that I was actually the one in the front leading the pack through Ponyville even though I was wasn't paying attention to where I was going. I took a deep breath and exhaled, putting my fists to my hips and glanced around.

We were literally in the middle of the town. Hay-thatched houses surrounded us in the dozens, each one looking fairly identical to each other. The streets weren't organized in a normal fashion, and in fact some of them appeared to not be wide enough for two carts to pass through. Then again, Ponyville is a town, not a city, and was not developed as one. The cobblestone tiles that made up the roads were light-blue under the sun, and I could see the dirt pile up in-between their cracks. The sky was still clear as the eye could see, except for the stray cloud here and there that kept the atmosphere from appearing boring.

Suddenly, something bumped into my shin. I looked down to see tumbleweed caught on the top of my feet. I mumbled "What the heck?" and kicked it away. I could hear the wind whistle in my ear. Then, I realized something. The place was completely empty! Yes, there was not a pony in sight, save for the six mares behind me, following me as if I had a lick of sense where the Ponyville library was. I should have expected it. Of course all the citizens of this place would be wetting themselves in fright after they saw me. They had exactly the same reaction to Zecora, and even though they seem to know better now, I looked nothing like Zecora. I looked like all those monsters that have been invading their kingdom for the past month or so, tall, lanky and standing on two legs.

I shrugged. "I have no idea. Twilight, why aren't you leading us?"

"Oh," Twilight said, getting surprised by her name said out loud. Her ears were folded down and she refused to look at me directly in the eyes. "Of course. I'm sorry. Follow me."

And then Twilight started walking exactly the opposite direction we were heading. A part of me felt stupid for going in the completely wrong direction even though I knew I had no idea where to go. Because Twilight was right behind me in terms of order, she had to walk past all of the girls. I followed right behind her, and none of the other mares wished to look at me.

They were scared of me. Afraid. I wonder what the other monsters that came out of the portals actually did to them. How much damage did they deal?

Once we began following Twilight, we got to the library in no time. The grand oak was standing tall, its grand splendor shading over the nearby area. It looked exactly like it did in the show, from the circular windows to the bee's nest that hung on the branches to the left of the front door. I've always wondered why the bees never seemed to bother Twilight, and why she never removed them in the first place. I guess it's simply a case of cartoon friendliness, where everything is nice and peaceful and gets along with one another.

We walked into the tree one by one. I had to duck underneath the door, as the top was about at my forehead height. I should have figured that my size would be a problem in a world that is based off of a series called 'My Little Pony'. Once I was inside, I was a bit disappointed. For a library, it wasn't filled with that many books. Sure, they only had so much space to fit into a tree, but from what I could tell the main room led to another room in the back, a kitchen and a door which I presumed to lead into Twilight's room. I wanted to explore, but before I could, we were greeted by a certain green reptilian midget.

"Hi Twilight!" Spike said as he stood on a ladder, putting books back in their respective spots on the bookcase. He didn't see that I had come in. "Did you get the monster that appeared over Sweet Apple Acres?"

I could see the girls giving nervous looks to one another, sometimes stealing a glance at me to see my reaction. Me? I frowned, lowering my eyelids and folding my arms.

"Spike, we need to write a letter to Princess Celestia." Twilight stated, already searching a nearby desk for a spare quill and some parchment.

Spike turned around on the ladder. "Why's that?"

Then, he saw me.

With a shout, he let go of the books he was holding and fell off, landing on the ground with a hard thud. Most of the books that were loose above him slipped off of their perches and fell on top of him in a clutter. I winced. Although that was supposed to be comedic, seeing it in first person did not make it funny. His head rose from the stack, his eyes wide as dinner plates.

"Twilight! Why is there a monster in the library?" Spike questioned as he pushed through the pile of books on top of him and backed away from me.

"He's not a monster Spike," Twilight said, writing supplies in her possession. "He's, uh..."

Twilight looked at me. "What are you?"

"Human. I'm human." I deadpanned.

"He's Human, Spike, and he's not going to hurt us."

I could see Pinkie Pie quickly check me to see if I was, in any way, shape or form, going to hurt them. God damn it, is there any trust in this world?

"If you say so..." the young dragon replied with his back against the wall, still edging away from me.

I rolled my eyes, "Ugh, look, Spike, I dunno what kinds of things the 'monsters' did when they appeared whenever they appeared, but rest assured that I'm not going to do any of that kind of stuff at all. That's not my thing."

Even though my word let him relax a bit, he still regarded me with a wary eye. I was about to ask Applejack to help me out, but then I considered the fact that I yelled at Twilight before, and well, I'm not so sure if she'd be so willing to assist me.

"What would make me convince you that I'm not evil?" I inquire.

He put a claw to his chin, mulling it over. "You need to Pinkie Pie swear it."

I inhaled to groan, but then stopped. I was so ready to actually do it that I almost forgot I need to play stupid because they don't know that I know about them. I exhaled through my nose, clearing my mind of a lot of the shit that had piled up there over the past half hour. Applejack was giving me a look. That made me nervous. She could smell the lie without me even saying anything! That's really unfair.

I held up my pinky finger. "What, you mean like this?"

"No, silly," Pinkie chirped, bouncing to the front of me. "You need to do a Pinkie Pie swear, not a pinky swear. See, like this!"

She went through the motions. I willed myself to not even consider the fact that she knew about pinky swearing.

"Uhh," I said intelligently. "Ok."

And then I did it. And felt really stupid the entire time. I also wanted to blurt out "I solemnly swear I am up to no good!" instead of actually doing the thing, but with all the willpower I could muster out of my entire being, I resisted.

I am a god.

"Phew! Well that certainly makes me feel better." Spike admitted, wiping off the sweat of his brow.

Twilight floated her quill and parchment over to the boy. He quickly noticed the objects within his vicinity and grabbed them out of mid-air.

"So, what do you need to write about?" Spike asked, his writing hand poised over the paper.

"Drake here is the first being that has come out of one of the portals that is willing to cooperate with us, communicate openly to us and not react violently to his surroundings. We need to inform Princess Celestia about this, as this turns up the possibility that future encounters of creatures that come out of inter-dimensional portals may be peaceful instead of chaotic.."

I briefly had an urge to ask what Discord’s take on all of this was. Instead, I took a step forward, putting my index finger in the air. "Uh, also, could you inquire if she could possibly help me find a way to get back home?"

Twilight's mouth twitched downward, I saw it. She was staring right at me, and I could see her thoughts go through her mind underneath the pools of lavender eyes. I could feel the hesitation in the air, and she looked at me as if she wanted to say something, but it got lost in translation in her throat. She honestly believed it was not possible. She was trying to convince herself that there was a way, somehow, but her strong mental self kept telling her that there was just no way. There was not enough knowledge in the field to carry on such a task, and that opening up a stable dimensional portal was out of the question.

Well, that's was I got from her expression anyways.

"So, uh, what exactly do you want me to say?" Spike asked, shrugging his shoulders.

Twilight smiled. "Spike, Write down this: Dear Princess Celestia..."