New Canterlot. Build 43 years after Nightmare Moon was defeated, the futuristic city was built on a far away planet in a need for a new home. The magical forces of Equis sought to destroy themselves and the ponies needed somewhere safe to stand by in order to survive.
Hundreds of years later, any sign of the original creators’ existence is long gone now. The New-Age Government is cruel and merciless in their rulings and citizens of the six districts suffer under their wrath. Humans, who have somehow found their way to the equine planet after Earth was destroyed, live as a minority species, one endangered and getting very close to being extinct by every passing year.
There are ponies who fight back, though. There are organized groups who plan and act against the New-Age Government in hopes of returning New Canterlot to the former glory it once had over 600 years ago. A revolution is coming, and it’s only time that is slowing the wave of violence and war from occurring.
Every change is decided by one action. By one soul.
By one hero.
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Looking for an artist that I can commission a title image off of. PM me please!
Also currently searching for able pre-readers and maybe an editor. Interested? PM me!
I still owe you a comment, don't I?
Well, here goes.
Score:
Content: 7.5/10
Pacing: 7.5/10
Grammar/Formatting: 9/10 (I can't really judge this, because my English isn't perfect either)
What I liked: Well, I really liked the setting. Building a new world isn't easy, and you've done a great job.
What needs to be improved:
Well, I also don't know what to say here. Your grammar is great, the pacing's good and the only thing that puzzled me was how the humans came here. I'ts not that I hate your story because I dislike HiE stories - that's personal taste. But it actually adds something to your story.
Final thoughts:
A great fic. Keep it up!
~
Yes, I know it was late. It is b*cking late.
Just - I hope you found this useful.
(I like your story. It's perfect, it just needs more attention.)
I'm calling bullshit on the humanity being an endangered species shtick. If humanity escaped the cataclysmic destruction of earth, something that would require in excess of a billion yottajoules of energy, they'd either need years of forewarning or FTL technology. Both of which would result in humanity being the dominant species, primarily because the former would allow them to pack the best of everything, including weapons, and the latter because they'd be able to fuck off to another planet not full of oppressed ponies.
What's this? An AU SciFi fic? Well well well, greetings brother who would guess I'd find another fellow SciFi fa n around here :D
I'm definitely a fan of the dark cyberpunk setting that's quote clearly got influences from Shadowrun.
I don't see any glaring errors. To be honest, the Human being a mage threw me for a loop. I expected him to be the tech master or maybe a cybernetic warrior.