Chapter 3: Number 19
"Dante?" 'Fluttershy' called. "I'm done with my bath."
"Okay," I called back. "Jus' stay there. Imma get you some clothes." I entered my little sister's room and opened the second drawer of the dresser, where I was greeted by the sight of a jumbled pile of multi-colored panties and bras. Embarrassed, I grabbed the first bra and panties that I found and shut the drawer. I couldn't believe I just went through my sister's underwear! If she found out...
Pushing that thought aside, I opened the top drawer and grabbed a pair of jean shorts. I hoped that they would fit her, since my mom's would be too baggy. Finally, I walked to the closet and chose a gray striped t-shirt. Satisfied with my selection, I returned to the bathroom and cracked the door open just enough to slip the clothes in.
"Here, put these on," I told her, dropping the clothes on the floor and shutting the door.
"Thank you," she replied, her voice muffled slightly by the door. "Um, I was wondering... Do all humans have to wear clothing? Because ponies rarely do."
I bit my lip, keeping myself from saying the first thing that entered my head. Instead, I decided to humor her for the time being. Now was not the time or place to tell her she was nuttier than a granola bar. "Yeah, we do. We're only allowed ta be naked fer bathing. Anything else, anywhere else, ya gotta be covered."
"Um, what's this thing?" she asked.
"What's what?"
"I don't know what it - or any of these clothes, really - are called. Could you come in and help me?"
"No," I said quickly. "I mean... Ah can't come in while yer getting dressed. But I'll tell ya what ta do if ya need me ta."
"Okay," 'Fluttershy' began. "This thing is kind of small and stretchy."
"Those're panties," I replied. "D'ya know how ta put'em on?"
"I think... they go between my legs?"
"Yeah, tha's right. Jus' slip one leg through each hole an' pull'em all tha way up."
I paused for a moment. "Oh, they feel good!" I heard from behind the door.
"Good fer you," I chuckled. "Next ya do th' bra."
"Which one is-"
"It's th' one with the... uh... the... two cup things on it. It's kinda' flimsy."
"Oh. What's this do?"
"You use 'em ta support yer titti- yer breasts. You got it, right?"
"I... I don't know how to put this on."
I rolled my eyes. "C'mon, ya jus'... um... you..." My face fell. "You jus'... hook it... from behind... I... think? Oh my god," I chuckled from embarrassment. "I-I'm not... I'm not really sure!"
"So, do I have to wear it, then?"
"Well, ya don' have to, but ya really should." I thought for a moment. "All righ', you know wha'? I'm gonna come in 'n' help ya with that. Be a learnin' experience fer me, too," I joked. "Okay, I'm gonna open th' door and I want you ta have yer back toward me, akay?"
"Okay," 'Fluttershy' replied.
I turned the knob and gently pushed the door open, peeking my head in to make sure I was clear to enter. 'Fluttershy' was turned away from me, holding the green bra in her right hand. My eyes found their way to her posterior, tracing the contour of the pink panties along her rump. I felt a stirring in my nether regions.
No, dumbass, I silently scolded myself. No. Bad. Before I let it get any worse, I walked up behind her and took the bra from her hand.
"Okay, bear with me. I'm not entirely sure what ah'm doin'."
"It's fine," 'Fluttershy' whispered.
I held the shoulder straps of the bra in each hand and held it over her head. Then I brought the bra down in front of her. From behind, I pulled the bra against her torso, then slid it up until it stopped against her breasts.
"Okay, now these straps? Ya gotta put your arms through 'em an' get 'em on your shoulders." I let go of the straps as she complied. "'kay, now adjust th' cups so they're... erm... comfortable."
"It feels tight," 'Fluttershy' remarked.
"Well, 'magine it would. It's designed to... uh... support... yer... mammaries." I pushed her long, pink hair over her shoulder with my arm and grabbed the clips on the back of the bra. "Akay, now th' last part is ya have ta clip it together in th' back. This looks like it's jus' a hook thing, er whatever it's called. 't's pretty simple. Ya jus' bring 'em together like this..." I pulled the clips together, but about three inches apart from each other, they stuck and wouldn't move any closer. 'Fluttershy' made a soft moaning noise. I stopped, stared at the clips for an moment, then tried again. I pulled much harder this time, but at an inch apart, the bra gave too much resistance, and the clips wouldn't come any closer.
"Aahhh!" 'Fluttershy' cried out. "Dante, it's too tight!"
I tried one last time, but to no avail.
"Dante, please, stop! Please, it's too tight!" 'Fluttershy' begged.
I released my grip on the bra and let my hands fall to my side. "Holy shit," I muttered.
'Fluttershy' turned toward me, her arm pressed against the bra so that she was still covered. A worried look crossed her face. "I'm-I'm sorry," she whispered. She looked to be on the verge of tears.
"N-no, it-it's not yer fault. Sorry, it's jus'..." I didn't know quite how to say it. I took a deep breath and sighed, blushing slightly. "It's too small."
"Wh-what do you mean?"
I shifted uncomfortably. "I mean you're too big... there... and it's not gonna fit you. You'll... have to do without one for now."
'Fluttershy' stared at the floor, dejected. "Oh... okay," she whispered. She let her arm fall, and the bra followed suit. Luckily, I saw what she was doing and turned away just in time.
"So!" I said quickly. "Um... I, ahh... I guess you're gonna have to wear something else. That shirt's my sister's too, so, yeah. You could probably fit in it, but you'd stretch it out, and, yeah, that won' do." I scratched the back of my head, nervous. "I think one ah my shirts might be big enough. You put the pants on, an' I'll see what I can find."
I picked up the shirt and tossed it nonchalantly onto my sister's bed after I left the bathroom, then turned into my bedroom. I made my way to the closet, sliding a pile of papers and junk out of the way with my foot. Jesus Christ, my room was a mess. Papers from high school, a couple of library books, pencils, drawstring bags, my class ring, Mad Libs, unused wallets, Calvin and Hobbes comic books, a Metallica album, a computer mouse, a flashlight, a GameStop gift card, a glass Coca-Cola bottle, dirty laundry, clothes hangers, sunglasses, a deck of cards, my iPod, Winnie the Pooh, and even Pikachu were scattered across my room in an unnavigable mess. I'd better clean this up soon.
I slid the door to my closet open and skimmed the selection I had. Something seemed off. "Hey, where're my hoodies?" I wondered. "I always-... oh, right. They're packed away. Dumbass." I gave myself a mental facepalm. I somehow forgot that it was eighty degrees outside and that you don't wear hooded sweatshirts when it's that warm.
With my first choice gone, I sighed and looked at what remained. It was slim pickings. I had a handful of t-shirts that fit me just fine, but being 5'10" and only 140 lbs., my shirts were pretty skinny. The few that were bigger were just plain ugly. It didn't look like I had anything that would... wait a second... is that...?
'Fluttershy' managed to get her shorts on by herself, which came as a relief to me. I'm not sure why I doubted her, honestly. She already put the panties on by herself, so why would she have any trouble with shorts? Clearly, I underestimated her intelligence. Man, I'm a jerk, sometimes.
"All right, I found a shirt that I think'll fit. Try it on." I tossed the shirt in the bathroom, still refusing to look directly at her and rather opting to look no higher than her hips.
'Fluttershy' fumbled with the shirt a bit. "Oh, it's so light." she remarked. She slid it over her head and pulled it down to her waist.
I glanced up at her and bit back a chuckle. Still, I couldn't suppress the smile that was growing on my face.
"Um, is it all right?" 'Fluttershy asked, leaning on the sink. I nodded.
"Oh, yes, it looks good," I said, laughter finding its way into my voice. "Jus' tell me, how do ya like Bernie Kosar's Cleveland Browns jersey?"
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You're quick.
Also, FIRST!
I'll read it when I finish the next chapter of Eyes wide shut lol.
Couldn't pass up this opportunity tho
Edit: almost done and I LOVE this chapter, especially with the calvin and hobbes book in your messy room. I have to ask though, which general area do you get your accent from?
Edit 2: finished! And my money is on Ohio or Pennsylvania. (Obvious now). Probably from around where I'm from CX
fc08.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2012/209/6/d/fluttershy_prepared_by_pony_vectors-d58tzbn.png
Loved the story so far liked and faved on the forst chapter...wish I could like it some more... Like...9001 times more.
Ok I admit it I am in love with this fanfic! Please make more!
A bonus chapter (or possibly a normal chapter) where Dante teaches Fluttershy the wonders of Metallica would be awesome. P.s totally random, but Kill em all is Metallica's best one.
Anyway, this is a great fan-fiction. Updated regularly, and I've already added it to my favourites and liked it
I guess the last thing to do is follow you. Well done sir/madam
Another cute chapter.^_^ And figured that Fluttershy is too big there. All forms of humanized media I've seen seem to make her the most buxom of the girls. Understandable too. If you observe her pony artwork, it does seem like she's thicker there, and it would also partially explain why she prefers walking over flying when she has a harder time lifting into the air compared to other pegasi.
Oh, and wonder if Fluttershy might have some of her magic as a pegasi still, including for flight. After all, despite her body's appearance, pony magic is a part of their essence. She could potentially still have such despite her form. Bet he'd have a 'holy shit' moment if she were to suddenly start flying to reach something that's too high for her to reach. Bet she'd look like an angel doing that too.^_^
cdn.memegenerator.net/images/160x/10935165.jpg
What about...nevermind.
4090878 I know...
4090909 Eh, I'll take daily updates over correct nudity methods.
I don't get it...
4090845
Legendary tits on Fluttershy just...makes sense, for some reason. Ignoring the fanservice side of it, it just seems kind of appropriate that the most shy of the group would have he biggest attention-getters. It could even explain why she's so afraid of strangers--she's bullied as a child, causing her to fear the attention of people she doesn't know will be nice to her. She wins at puberty, ensuring that she always has the attention of horny teenagers. The constant attention makes her shrink back even further, because she's learned to be afraid of it.
...Ever have one of those moments where you realize that you should have gone to bed two hours ago, but instead you're aimlessly roaming a fanfiction website explaining why it makes sense to give a certain character huge boobs? Like, you just became totally aware of that fact? It's a weird moment, I'll tell you that.
4091137 lol Too true. But yeah, her being super buxom just makes sense in so many ways. XD
I read all three chapters in one day... and I so far like this fic. Hopefully to read more soon. Good luck on the next chapter.
Damn good job sir!
4088766
"But... you just spoke to me. Didn't you? I mean, if you didn't, that's okay too."
"Que?"
(Name that reference!)
Does this story contain anthro-fied ponies?
If so, there should be a tag for that which I'd appreciate you adding.
4092846 No, the story has a human tag. The characters are human.
4089905 lulz dragon ball z reference...
ITS OVER 9000!!!
Yeah this story is good. And funny joke at the end
4092896
But the way the description is worded makes it seem like Fluttershy was, well, Fluttershy turned human.
4091487 The chapters are short, so you could probably read it in less than an hour. I read them in like 15 minutes.
More?
Dragon
Fluttershy being my waifu was enough to draw me to this story, but that single phrase has granted its ascendance to my favorites list.
4091137 LLAAWWLL
4095993 Oh, I see what you mean. You're right. She is pony-turned-human. However, I consider the use of the Anthro tag reserved for the human-pony hybrid thing. In Equestria, Fluttershy is a pony. On Earth, she's human. She's not a cross between the two, so she isn't anthro (by my definition, at least). Of course, I may be wrong. But for now, the human tag stays.
Awesome story so far! Can't wait for more! (Also like the jersey :P) You know, I wonder what's gonna happen when his parents and sister come home? How's Dante gonna explains this? Dun dun duh!
4097332 anthro is a hard choice in this universe. Stick with the human tag for this story. Your right up to a certain point with your definition. Anthropomorphic is giving human characteristics to something that isn't human. so technically the ponies are anthro already in the universe of MLP since they already display characteristics of being human (emotions, behaviour, motives, detailed spoken and written language.) But for this website anthro tag fits your description best human/pony hybrids.
Hope this helps
Also enjoying this story, can't wait to see what happens
...
4092846 That moment when you utterly fail at reading comprehension...
4097332 Yeah, there is no justification for the anthro tag here. Anthro is for furries.
Anyway...good start, I'll be watching this.
4097332
Alrighty, then.
That was very funny. Who'da thought the idea of a girl not knowing her boob size and not being able to put on the bra because it's too tight could make me laugh so hard?
I will say though, that last line went right over my head. The only Cleveland brown I know is from family guy a the Cleveland show.
I look forward to when the next chapter comes out. This Fic is gonna be hilarious
I'm sorry, but this is pretty bad. You didn't handle a naked ex-pony as distastefully as I'd expect but that by itself is not an achievement. None of Dante's reactions (and few of his actions) are realistic or consistent, Fluttershy is only better because you knew who she was going in and didn't manage to screw that up too much, and... and... shit.
I'm just going to say it. How does Fluttershy look to Dante? Is she tall or short, beautiful or ugly, fat or skinny, hairy or shiny, sexy or disturbing? Does she look at all unconvincing as a human, apart from the hair and breast size which are quite literally the only things we know about? What's her skin colour, what is Dante's? Does this ex-pony have an accent or lisp or something worth knowing about? And after these facts what is the general feel, the mood, the intangible impression that Dante gets from her? This entire story so far as been a complete failure of communication from what would ideally be a very interesting scenario and I am not impressed, though still not terribly surprised. You are far from the worst author on this site, but again that is no achievement.
I hope you at least partially consider what I've said here and that you have a response, even if it's explaining why I'm wrong. I hope this helps improve your story which even you acknowledge is 'not good'. Well, good day, and good luck.
4119103 Thanks. Frankly, I'm just glad someone finally agrees with me that this sucks. It really does. I honestly don't know why people are reading this crappy story.
So it seems I haven't developed Fluttershy enough, or at least Dante's perception of her (other than that she's loco). That did cross my mind once, but it's good to hear it from someone else. I'll keep that in mind.
Praise doesn't make a better writer. Criticism does. For that reason, I'm grateful that you're one of the few to be straightforward and honest about the serious problems of the story. If there's anything else that you'd like to address (and I'm sure there is), don't hesitate to lay it on me. I know I'm a bad writer. However, if I get more people like you, maybe that will change.
4121289 I'll admit, now that you've engaged me, that you're deserving of more credit than I at first let on.
When I leave these reviews I hardly expect a response, so thank you very much for that. I am not a good editor so forgive me for being short and for not explaining my complaints better. Now, where do I begin?
I guess I could start on Dante. He's so obviously an empty, flat character, you know? And by what I know from the narration you've made his shell essentially a farther south, slightly larger version of me, though I can only assume that this is coincidence and that he does, in fact, resemble you more closely. There's gotta be something interesting about him behind all that pointless text, eh?
It's here that I would point you to a writer/blogger who has constructed a form perfect for fleshing out characters, but I feel that this comments section is not the best place for further in-depth analysis and edit of your work. If you have a better place or system for this I'd be glad to use it instead, and I will keep this character sheet hidden until you next respond. I'd prefer a different forum like, perhaps, google docs or drive, where editing can be done directly and notes can be written where applicable, but if this is unsatisfactory and you'd prefer to keep using the damned comments section then that's fine.
FAVORITE!
I am a fan of this "crappy story" as you refer it as. Granted there are plenty of nit picks I would make, but I am going to abstain from that. What I will say is I can picture Dante's bedroom.... That's about it. What does Fluttershy look like, aside from long, pink hair and really large breats? What does Dante look like? Height and weight are not very conclusive. What is the house like? Heck, what is Dante even wearing? The other thing that bothers me the most is how... Calm, for lack of better words, Dante is. Okay, a naked girl shows up unconscious on porch. Cover her and wake her; that's logical. Take her inside when she passes out again; that's fine too. Her spouting seemingly delusions with a wacko name. You don't stay calm. At least, you don't take it in stride. It has to cross your mind other than research. I hope that is somewhat helpful, if vague...
4121289 Great fic, hope to read more of these soon!
Wonder how Fluttershy's special talent will translate into the human world? Will she be able to talk to animals and become a "dog whisperer"? Someone mentioned flight, but I don't think she could without wings...but maybe cloud walking is still in affect?
My only criticism is that I think Dante should have more of an internal struggle when dealing with Fluttershy's nudity. I'm not saying that any teenage male would always pick "exploit the hot naked chick" option, but there should be some delay caused by his hormones and decency battling it out.
You did fine but I would love for his sister to come home and see her asleep on the couch or something.
you have my complete permission (or request, rather) to continue with this awesome story
Can't wait for the next chapter
More please.
I hereby request more words.
More please.
This story isn't really all that good, but I like it anyway. Probably because of my weird taste when it comes to this kind of stuff.
>Bernie Kosar jersey
Laughing_Elway.png
so.. is this story dead? it hasn't updated in over a year.