Just another peaceful day in Manehattan or it was until ponies started eating ponies. The name's Winged Spirit and I live with my younger sister Daring Do. Even if she isn't here most of the time, but want can I do. There is nine of us alive and I'm not sure we can make it, but a mares gotta try, right?
The story is in third person, not first.
OC belongs to Sky Wishes 7266.
Cover art made by Sky Wishes 7266.
The name was pick by PureLogic.
Edited by The Marvelous Mr M
The theme song is Monster by Nightcore.
Special thanks to the Contributors to the story
Sky Wishes 7266
The Marvelous Mr M
SuperPinkbrony12
PureLogic
Schwa
Chapters (2)
Oh my gods!!!!!! I loves it so much already!!!!! You just made me a happy person!!!!!
Not bad
It's looking great so far in a story standpoint! There's just a few grammar things that stood out to me, though--many sentences should have had commas and didn't, and somewhere near the beginning you capitalized "hoping" unnecessarily. Also, this sentence: "Except why on one of the busiest day's of the year is there no costumers" should be revised. Right now it's stuck between being a question and a statement, and "day's" should become "days" ( 's is possessive, implying that the day owns or has something, and just an "s" at the end is plural, which is what you wanted here). Other than those few nitpicks, it's looking really good, and I do like your voice and style. If you just read the short and easy little writing guide under the FAQ tab at the top, and keep in mind some of the things brought up, it'll flow nicer and be more grammatically correct. :)
But I'm loving it so far, and I can't wait for the next part! :D
YES!!! NEW STORY!!!
With a bit of polishing, this could be a greater story. Still nice, though. And use paragraphs.
I like this story :3
So i like this quite a lot so far, not enough zombie fics around in my opinion.
I do have one issue though.
I sorta feel like the entire story is happening too fast. There's not much which draws me to Spirit's character and the whole zombie thing seemed to happen instantly, i mean if it was a quiet day and all then why hadn't they noticed the riot outside?
(sorry if this doesnt make much sense and for the lack of punctuation, im typing this late at night on a ipad)
4173037 well the beginning is the hard part, but I ensure you that the first two chapters are a two parter. And yes I intended for it to go fast, you never see it happen until it happens. That's how my none mlp zombie story "Spawn of Dead" went. After the Five Book Series of Haven, I might try my skills on a ponyfide version of "Spawn of Dead".
Oh my gosh. Spirit's got a katana. Everybody watch out. I like the weapon choice btw. I'm liking it so far. Keep up the good work!!!!!
4340847 Thanks, the first thing that I imagined her with was with a katana. She looked badass with a katana in my mind.
4340936 She would look badass with a katana. Now I wanna draw her with a katana. I'll try that when I'm done with the other nine kagillion things I have to do. Fluttershy and the changeling are still giving me a hard time. Major set back there.
4340954 I hope to have her with a katana on the second books cover picture.
4340964 Maybe you will. As soon as I figure out how to get the the changeling on Fluttershy's back. That's my biggest problem right now. That and the OC. You don't happen to have a refence pic of him do you?
4340978 sorry no, but for his mane. It's sorta like Hibiki Kuze's hair style (devil survivor 2, look at my latest blog)
anime-planet.com/images/characters/hibiki_kuze_48791.jpg
Quick question, couldn't the pegasi fly everypony to the safe house?
4537251 I suppose, but I like this better, since I can kill ponies off. And it'll be having a lot more chapters then like two or three chapters. I also have a big train zombie scene in mind. So yes, travelling on hoof is more entertaining.
4537267
So true!
So I'm guessing your not finishing this story
4868500 no, I am, I'm working on chapter three now