• Published 24th Feb 2014
  • 2,793 Views, 53 Comments

Haunted House On The Prairie - elPossenreisser



Twilight gets lost in an abandoned house on the prairie. Applejack and Rainbow Dash try to save her and get to terms with their feelings for Twilight and for each other.

  • ...
12
 53
 2,793

Chapter 8 - The house (Applejack and Rainbow Dash)

Chapter 8 – The house (Applejack and Rainbow Dash)

“Sweet Celestia! Twi! The house!” Applejack cried. “She’s goin’ back to that darned place! We gotta stop her!” She leapt to her hooves and only needed an instant to get her orientation straight. “That way!”

If Rainbow was fazed by her frantic worrying about Twilight, she didn’t show it. Instead, the pegasus just kept the pace with Applejack as she cantered across the dark prairie, trying to understand what just had happened. She was aware that she had gotten off lightly; part of her had expected that Rainbow would dump her right there and never talk to her again. And part of her still believed that she deserved no less.

She was worried that the crisis was not yet over. She knew that Rainbow didn’t always deal with conflicts and instead just pretended everything was fine while she was brooding. Unfortunately, she couldn’t be sure that Rainbow wasn’t secretly mad at her, and she didn’t think bringing it up again would be a good idea.

She trotted as fast as she dared in the darkness, aware that one misstep could mean a broken leg. Rainbow was easily keeping up, flying next to her. There was still time, she thought. There had to be time. She increased her pace, bordering on a full-blown gallop. Crickets chirped around them and reminded her of the more hostile inhabitants of this land. Her sting itched.

Her sense of direction didn’t let her down. At their speed, it only took them a few minutes until they stood in front of the house, staring uneasily at the open front door.

“Cool place,” Rainbow said, trying in vain to loosen the mood.

“Not again,” Applejack murmured. She cleared her throat. “Let’s go.”

“Alright, let’s do this,” Rainbow said and squeezed past Applejack. She hopped up the few stairs to the porch and entered the house, Applejack right behind her. As soon as Rainbow crossed the threshold, she darted away into the darkness. Applejack was on the alert though and quickly grabbed her tail between her teeth, holding her back.

“What the hay, AJ?”

“You was flyin’ away,” Applejack explained, trying to keep a steady voice. “The house seems to do this.”

As Rainbow turned around and shot her a suspicious glance, Applejack took the opportunity to look around—and gasped. She found herself in the exact replica of the farm house back in Sweet Apple Acres with the kitchen to the right and the sitting room to the right. Something was thudding rhythmically on the upper floor. Unlike at home, all the windows were barred, and only thin slices of sunlight shone in between the gaps between the boards.

“Sunlight?” Rainbow voiced her confusion. “And why does it look like your place?”

“I’ll be darned if’n I know,” Applejack replied. “’t was different the last time I was in here.”

“Any idea where we gonna find her?”

“Yes.” Applejack swallowed. There were way too many reasons why she didn’t want to elaborate how she knew. “We’re looking for a door. Maybe it is standing in the middle of a room. And behind it is a grey plain.”

“An exit. Got it.”

Applejack didn’t correct her. It would have been too complicated to explain what the door was. Besides, she didn’t know what exactly the door was anyway. They would know it when they saw it.

“Wonder where that thudding is comin’ from,” she mumbled.

“Somewhere upstairs,” Rainbow shrugged.

The thudding continued. It sounded like wood hammering against a wall or a floor. It was vaguely familiar, but for the time being it eluded her.

In unspoken agreement they turned to the sitting room. At first glance, everything looked as it should—the quilt covering the old sofa, the sideboard where she kept Sweet Apple Acres’ financial records, the photographs—

But the photographs were different. There were no pictures of her family members; instead, all photographs seemed to depict either Rainbow or Twilight. She looked more closely at one of the pictures and squirmed—it showed Rainbow Dash trying to fly away from a pit filled with serpents and scorpions, but the serpents were holding her legs and pulling her back down. The panicked look on the photographed Rainbow’s face left little doubt that the pegasus knew that she was fighting a losing battle. The other pictures were no better, depicting her friends in mortal peril or suffering from terribly maiming injuries. Applejack’s stomach did a slow somersault, and she had to turn away.

“Do you see the pictures?” Applejack asked, not trusting her own perception in this place. Rainbow nodded, and Applejack added, “What’s on them?”

“You. Twilight. And you’re… hurt,” she said, her voice queasy.

Applejack nodded grimly. “I see you and Twilight. And also… hurt.”

“What the hay is this place?” Rainbow asked. “What’s happening here?” Applejack didn’t answer. Instead, she carefully moved over to the only door in the room which, as she expected, lead to a closet.

She carefully opened the door and was greeted with a shrill shriek. On the ground, surrounded by splatters of its own blood, lay the blue grey bat which had attacked her in the other house. Or the earlier version of the house. Or whatever the right way to put this was. The bat’s wings had been broken, and it was bleeding from a number of cuts all over its body. The bat let go another agonizing shriek and looked up to her, but its gaze was still hostile, and it bared its teeth at her while there was still blood oozing from its wounds.

“What’s in there?” Rainbow asked from behind her, and at the sound of her voice, the bat hissed maliciously.

“Just ‘nother bad dream,” Applejack said, hastily closing the door again. Something about the maimed bat made her feel horrible, just as if she had been the one who had mortally wounded the creature. While she was aware that this was just the way the house tried to get to her, the bat and also the horrible pictures in the sitting room seemed to just add to her already guilty conscience. “She ain’t in there. Let’s check the kitchen.” Above their heads, or rather, above her head, the thudding continued unchanged.

Applejack closed the closet door, and they retreated through the sitting room, trying their best to ignore the ghastly photographs. The shrieks, only partly muffled by the closet door, followed them into the corridor.

They were about to take a closer look at the kitchen when suddenly they heard a strange yelp from upstairs. It was definitely Twilight’s voice, but luckily it didn’t sound like she was in pain or terror. It sounded more like—

And suddenly Applejack knew what caused the constant thudding. Wood hammering against a wooden wall. Her bed. As if somepony was in her bed and—

Only she was pretty sure it was not just somepony.

That’s ridiculous, she thought. I can’t be up there with her. I’m down here! But she couldn’t shake off the feeling that she was right nonetheless. In this house, it seemed possible. Or maybe it was just her guilty conscience that made her think such a thing. Not that I ain’t got reason to feel guilty anyway, despite Rainbow acting all cool.

Rainbow tugged on her tail, one hoof already on the first step. “AJ! Didn’t you hear that? She’s upstairs! Come on!” They cantered up the stairs. The upstairs corridor looked almost the same as it did in Sweet Apple Acres, except for the scorpion that was pinned to the door where Applebloom’s room would have been. A tiny trickle of blood had dripped on the door and dried there. Applejack didn’t have the slightest doubt that it was the very same scorpion that had stung her. It slowly moved its claws, and she quickly turned around. Her healing sting itched.

The thudding was deafening.

“In my—in that room,” Applejack said flatly.

“How do you know?”

“I jus’ do.” Sighing, she put her hoof on the door knob but didn’t open yet. She was scared of what they might find in the room. Of whom they might find in the bed. It would hurt her to see such a thing, and it would probably devastate Rainbow. Not to mention that it would potentially put a dent into her relaxed reaction. She sighed and tried to push such selfish thoughts away as she finally opened the door.

It looked like her room at home, including the bed and the closet. She immediately saw what was causing the bed to thud against the wall, and it made her give a quick, harsh laugh. An orange-coated rat-thing was sitting on the floor and was rhythmically pushing against the bed’s leg, bumping it against the wall. How the small creature, even smaller than Winona, was mustering up the strength was a mystery. When it noticed Applejack and Rainbow, it stopped and hissed at them, baring yellow pointy teeth. Rainbow gave no indication that she had even seen the creature.

The window was barred shut like the windows on the ground floor, but there was no bright sunlight shining through the gaps. Instead, a diffuse dark grey light came in. It was almost the same light as on the plains.

“She’s not here,” Rainbow said. “Next room!”

“Wait.” Following her hunch that Twilight was in this room that had been prepared to seem like she and Twilight had been—had the bed sheets been in such disarray when they had come in? She shook her head. She was losing focus. She was sure that Twilight was in here, and that was more relevant than the bed sheets. Looking around, she wondered where Twilight could hide.

The closet.

She tore the door open and was almost thrown over by the sudden blast of air streaming into the closet. On the ground, there was a swirling opening, a whirlwind of purple and blue light, and it was sucking in all kinds of small items. With a piercing shriek, the rat-thing slid past her and was sucked up by the vortex. She noticed that she was sliding towards the whirling opening herself. She tried to skid back, but lost her grip and slid over the floor. The roar of the vortex was deafening.

“Rainbow!” she yelled, trying to suppress her upcoming panic.

She feared that there would not be enough time. In order to not slide into the abyss head-first, she flailed her hooves and managed to turn around on her belly. Instantly her rear hooves fell into the void, and she tried to hold on to the floor, barely slowing herself down.

“AJ!” Suddenly Rainbow was there and grabbed her hooves, pulling her back at full strength, but only managed to stop her. With a loud grunt, Rainbow stemmed her rear hooves against the closet doorframe, and with the additional foothold she was able to slowly pull Applejack back away from the vortex. Applejack let go of her right hoof and threw herself forward, getting a hold at the doorframe as well. Rainbow reached for the door and managed to pull it shut, cutting off the gust of air being sucked in. Then the pegasus slid to the floor next to Applejack, panting.

“I’m starting to see why you were so scared by this thing,” she managed to say.

“Told ya.”

They left the room and stood in the corridor again. For the first time since she had entered Rainbow took the time to take in her surroundings, having treated the place like a second-rate haunted house on a carnival up until now, not caring for the spooky little props and all. But that thing that had almost sucked up Applejack had been real, and the pictures in the sitting room had been a nasty little detail, let alone the thudding of Applejack’s bed which she had rather not mentioned when she had recognized the sound. She wondered how much of the stuff in this place was random, and how much bore some sort of significance.

And she started to be worried about Twilight. It seemed that the house could be really dangerous after all.

She noticed the dead scorpion pinned to the opposite door. “Any idea what that is?” she asked.

“I think so,” Applejack replied. She held out her leg where the sting was still visible. “One of them buggers done stung me right before we first came here. Twi helped me wear off the venom and took care of me.” She left it at that. Rainbow noticed her discomfort, but didn’t comment on it.

“Whatcha think’s in there?” she asked.

“Let’s find out.” Applejack extended her hoof to the doorknob, and suddenly Rainbow saw that the knob was glowing in an intense cherry red. And then she heard the roaring of the flames. She lunged towards Applejack and pushed her away from the door. Before the farmer could so much as yelp in surprise, the door exploded into the corridor, a host of flames blackening the ceiling. Peeking inside, Rainbow saw that the room didn’t have a floor; instead large flames were reaching out for them from somewhere below. The walls were charred, and besides fire and smoke there was nothing in there.

“Are you alright?” she asked, not letting the fire out of sight.

“Yeah. Thanks.”

“Different door then,” Rainbow said with faux nonchalance. “How do you know where she went anyway?”

Applejack, who was just getting to her hooves again, froze in a half-kneeling position. Her ears flopped back, and she felt the heat rise in her cheeks again.

“Hello? Equestria to AJ?”

“It’s where we kissed,” Applejack said weakly, not daring to look at Rainbow. She felt terrible. Here she said, only alive because Rainbow had just saved her sorry hide, and had to bring up her betrayal yet again.

Rainbow swallowed and forced herself to maintain a neutral expression as she nodded. “Yeah. Cool,” she said despite herself. Noticing Applejack’s distress, she quickly stepped over to her und gave her cheek a nuzzle, which Applejack rewarded with a weak smile.

She stood up, dusted herself off and took another look into the burning room. The flames had died down, only the charred walls were still covered in bright orange embers. Now she could see that there was a floor, several dozen meters beyond them. Applejack took a step back and looked up to look at the ceiling, but she stepped on something that cracked under her hoof with a dry crunch. Looking down she saw that she had crushed the remains of the scorpion that had been pinned to the exploded door. Disgusted, she hurriedly wiped her hoof on the floor.

“Next room,” Rainbow said and turned to the next door which was where, in the real farmhouse, Big Mac’s room would have been: She quickly checked the door, but couldn’t find any obvious signs of danger. Carefully, she opened the door and immediately, out of pure instinct, spread her wings. Instead of a room, she was looking at a vast grey plain, and she was doing so from several hundred meters up.

“Whoa!”

Applejack craned her neck to see past Rainbow. “That’s the place,” she said flatly.

“Twilight!” Rainbow suddenly shouted and pointed a hoof at a small purple dot. “She’s down there!” Without taking the time to reconsider, she swirled around, swooped Applejack into her hooves, positioned her on her back and dove off the threshold into the cold air above the grey plains.

“Dash!” Applejack yelped in surprise, and it was all she could do to keep her hat from flying away in the sudden draft as they plummeted towards the ground.

Rainbow didn’t think, she just flew towards her target. They had finally found Twilight, and she wasn’t going to leave this house or whatever it was without her. She wasn’t even going to leave her down there any longer than absolutely necessary, just in case anything dangerous was lurking somewhere out there. And judging by their encounters so far that didn’t seem entirely unlikely.

Breathing in the thin air made her feel a lot higher than what it looked like; maybe the plains down there were really a mountain plateau. She tentatively spread her wings a little to test how well the thin air would carry them and decided to pull up much earlier than she would normally have done. Applejack was clinging to her neck for dear life; she didn’t enjoy flying a lot, preferring all her hooves firmly on the ground.

Squinting, she focused on the growing shape of the alicorn slowly wandering along. She had reached a range of rugged mountains that bordered the plains and was making her way up on what looked like an ancient trail. On top, the mountains flattened out to yet another plateau. Up there the air was hazy and she couldn’t see much of what was going on, but it seemed that there was some sort of huge building. Luckily she would reach Twilight fast enough before she would arrive at the top of the plateau. It seemed important that she couldn’t get there.

That was when she saw the bulge in the ground. It was small enough so that it could easily be missed in the dim starlight that was all that lit this place, but she was an expert flier and as such always alert of her surroundings. Whatever it was, it was a lot closer to Twilight then she was, and it was moving. It was obviously a lot slower than she was, but it was so close already. She could not allow that thing to get to Twilight first.

She increased the angle of her dive in order to generate more speed. There was just no time to play it safe; she’d have to pull up at the last instant. She allowed herself two flaps of her wings to gain more speed. The ground was now very close, and she had lost sight of the bulge for the time being which unnerved her even more than her fast descent.

“Hold on, AJ,” she called, “this is gonna be a tight one!” Applejack just nodded, her face buried against Rainbow’s neck.

She spread her wings and pulled up, and for a second she feared she had been too optimistic about the thin air and Applejack’s additional weight, but regaining sight on the bulge gave her the strength to increase her wings’ angle just a little more, to bear the additional strain, and stop their descent just above the ground. Applejack’s tail slid over the ground, but she didn’t complain. Her eyes focused on the bulge, which now seemed to be only a few dozen paces behind Twilight, Rainbow frantically flapped her wings, closing the distance as fast as she could.

“Twilight!” she yelled at the top of her lungs, but the alicorn didn’t give any notice that she had heard her.

She finally landed only a few paces behind Twilight, hastily turning around to keep the bulge in check and dropping Applejack to her hooves in the process. It was still further away from them than they were from Twilight, but they didn’t have much more time. “Twilight!” she yelled again. Again, there was no reaction. She decided she wasn’t going to wait for some miracle to happen.

“AJ! Watch out for the bulge!” she cried and launched herself at Twilight, tackling her and pulling her into a hug with both hooves and wings. “Twi!” she mumbled into her ear. “Twi!” The alicorn remained almost motionless, only slowly leaning into the hug. She was shaking.

Applejack watched the scene, and her first impulse was to storm after Rainbow and make sure Twilight was okay, but her still guilty conscience, only more raw after the talk with Rainbow, made her hesitant. But then Rainbow shot her an impatient glance, and she shakily made her way to the pile of ponies. Rainbow didn’t wait for her to actually join in the hug and just pulled her in with a wing.

“Twi,” Applejack said.

“AJ?” Twilight’s voice was barely audible.

“Twi, are you alright?”

“Twi, we gotta get outta here!” Rainbow chimed in, casting a worried look behind. The bulge was less than thirty paces away now. “I can’t fly both of you!”

“I can’t,” Twilight murmured dreamily.

“Twi!” Applejack insisted. “It’s dangerous here! We ain’t gonna leave you here!”

“Here’s the only place I could ever be with you,” Twilight replied, her voice still dreamy, almost a sing-sang. “So I’d rather stay and dream of our kiss.”

“We don’t have time for this!” Rainbow groaned. “Do something, AJ!”

“But what?!”

Rainbow suddenly had an idea. There was no time to decide whether she liked it. The bulge was only twenty paces away. “Kiss her!”

“You gotta be kidding!”

“Do it!” Rainbow yelled, still clinging on to Twilight, keeping her from walking on.

Applejack pushed her doubts away. With a hoof under Twilight’s chin, she turned her head towards her and pressed her lips onto hers. Twilight went rigid in Rainbow’s embrace, but after a moment of shock she returned the kiss passionately. Applejack was only too aware of Rainbow’s presence, and that made the kiss anything but a pleasant experience, but at least Twilight was reacting again.

“Twi!” Rainbow cried again. “We gotta get going now!

Twilight broke the kiss and looked around, confused. “Rainbow? AJ? What—“

Hearing voice back to normal was enough for Rainbow, and she just pried Applejack loose from Twilight and took wing. Twilight instinctively took off as well, and not a second too soon. The bulge was only a few paces away from them. As they gained height, it just vanished into the ground. Rainbow wanted to flip it the bird, but her hooves were full with Applejack.

It wasn’t hard to find the door in the sky again, and soon they were back in the corridor. Not wanting to waste any more time in the house, Rainbow didn’t stop and just flew down the stairs, all the while carrying Applejack.

Twilight followed her suit, doing her best to keep up with Rainbow. She was still confused after coming to all of a sudden after what felt like a terrible and beautiful dream. She had a rough idea of what had happened after waking up on the foot of the mountains, but what little sense she could make out of everything was limited to her whereabouts—apparently she had gone into the house again, and had tried to climb the mountains before her friends had stopped her. But there wasn’t even the slightest explanation or theory to why Applejack had kissed her with Rainbow embracing them both. It just didn’t make any sense.

Rainbow led their escape through the ground floor corridor. Nothing was keeping them; it was as if the house had finally given up on them. Rainbow was not overly disappointed about that. She burst through the closed front door and emerged into the cool twilight of early dawn, not even stopping until she had reached their camp. She put a grateful Applejack down on the ground and dropped next to her. Seconds later, Twilight landed near them, but stayed a few paces apart as she sat on her haunches.

“Thanks,” she said sheepishly, still insecure of what to make of the kiss and of Rainbow—being okay with it?

“Anytime.” Rainbow yawned. “Dunno about you guys, but I need some shuteye before we go on with this.” Without further ado, she flopped down on her bedroll.

Applejack gave Twilight an almost apologetic look. “I told her,” she whispered. “I’m sorry.” Then she followed Rainbow Dash to the bed.

Twilight kept sitting, staring at them. She had no idea what to make out of Rainbow’s behavior. If anything, she would have expected the pegasus to be mad, or at least disappointed, after witnessing Applejack kissing her, and even more so after Applejack telling her. She would have expected her to say something. But instead, she seemed absolutely unwilling to even address the issue.

Rainbow, as Twilight knew, was sometimes prone to keeping her emotions to herself, insisting that she was strong and independent and not “emo”, as she called it, which made it hard sometimes to guess what Rainbow was really thinking or feeling. She feared that the pegasus was perhaps building up a grudge against her after all she had done. She would have to—

“Twi, you’re comin’ to bed or what?” Rainbow groaned from where she and Applejack had lain down.

Twilight hesitantly got up and slowly walked over to them. Applejack lay on the left side, Rainbow to her right, already curled up and almost completely hidden underneath her blanket. They had left an empty space between them. It just looked like they wanted her to—

“Are you serious?” she asked incredulously.

“Listen, Twi,” Rainbow said, “can you just come to bed? I’m really tired!”

“But Applejack—and I—and you—“ Twilight stammered, not moving, staring at the bed and her two friends..

“Dammit!” Rainbow huffed and flew up, hovering right in front of Twilight, their faces only a few centimeters apart. “I don’t care what’s going on between you and AJ!” she exclaimed. “I love you both. And I trust you both that you won’t leave me hanging or screw me over. That’s all I care about, okay? I may not be in love with you, Twi, but I don’t give a flying horseapple!” She blushed and for a second averted her gaze before she continued, “’Sides, who knows what’s gonna happen. Aaanyway. So if you and AJ are gonna be all lovey-dovey, that’s fine. And if me and AJ are gonna be all lovey-dovey, that’s fine, too! Why does there have to be a problem? And can we please, for the love of Celestia, just go to sleep now?” Her cheeks slightly flushed, she still looked into Twilight’s eyes and began tugging her down on one of Twilight’s wingtips.

Twilight, flabbergasted by Rainbow’s outburst, allowed her to drag her to the beds and push her down next to Applejack. Rainbow settled down next to her and put a leg around her, Applejack doing the same from the other side. “You’re not mad?” Twilight asked.

“No, I’m not,” Rainbow replied more quietly. “This—us—is way more important than some stupid jealousy. We’re friends. More than friends. Whatever we wanna be. We’ll figure this out.”

“Sugarcube,” Applejack said from the other side, sounding doubtful, “three ponies normally don’t go bein’ each other’s special someponies, y’know.”

“I don’t care!” Rainbow repeated, sounding more and more exasperated. “Why do you want this be a huge problem?” She sat up again and glared at them. “It’s all just so simple! AJ, do you wanna split up?” Shocked, Applejack shook her head. “Twi, would you rather wanna be alone or with AJ and me?”

“Well of course I rather want to be with you two than be alone!” Twilight heatedly replied. “But that’s not the question! The question is, what is poss—“

“Great,” Rainbow cut her short. “AJ, would you rather be with Twi or be without her?”

“I—I wanna be with you,” Applejack said quietly.

“Not what I asked!”

“I guess…,” she stammered, grateful that the darkness hid her flushed cheeks, “I guess I wanna be with Twilight, too.”

“And I wanna be with you, AJ, and I wanna be with you, Twi,” Rainbow said. “These are not… they don’t… there’s no reason we can’t have all of that!”

“They are not mutually exclusive,” Twilight thoughtfully added.

“That.” And with an affectionate smile she added, “Egghead.” Twilight meekly smiled back at her.

“You’re crazy,” Applejack said, slowly shaking her head. “All just because I messed up… how is this fair to you, Dash? Or Twilight? I don’t deserve to… to...” She blushed. “Get my cake and eat it, so to speak.”

“It’s fair because it’s what we all want,” Twilight explained, finally picking up on Rainbow’s reasoning. “Not just for ourselves, but for each other.”

“Yeah, exactly! So will you stop telling yourself that you don’t deserve this? Please?” Rainbow added with a hint of impatience in her voice.

“You’re crazy,” Applejack repeated. “We’ll have a lot to figure out. But, y’know, I trust you, too, and guess I better get startin’ to believe we can figure it out.” She yawned and leaned over Twilight, kissing first the Rainbow Dash and then, with only the slightest hesitation, Twilight as well. “Night, girls.”

“Polyamory,” Twilight said. When Rainbow looked at her questioningly, she hastily added, “That’s the name for a relationship like this. With more than two ponies involved. It’s called polyamory.”

The pegasus looked at her for a second, then, without a word, turned around under her blanket until she lay with her back to Twilight, resting her head on her shoulder. “Whatever,” she said happily. “But you’re comfy, and for now, that’s all I care about. Whatever it’s called.” Twilight couldn’t hold back a chuckle. She put her left wing over Applejack, who was already snoring softly, and tentatively extended her right one over Rainbow’s belly, careful not to cover her face. The pegasus sighed contently.

“Night.” Closely surrounded by her friends, or her marefriends, or whatever they were, it was easy to forget the nightmares that she had experienced in the damnable house. She made a mental note to inform Princess Celestia about the house so that it could at least be secured before other ponies got into danger, and with a sigh she finally fell asleep. Her last thought was that Rainbow was probably right—they would sort out the details eventually.

Author's Note:

And we're done!

I admit I'm not too excited about how this story turned out, but I enjoyed writing it. Sometimes, that's enough for me.

Thanks for reading!

Comments ( 18 )

will there be an epilogue?

Oh, it was perfect :D I absolutely love this pairing and I'm always glad when I have an occasion to read a GOOD story about them. You portrayed these characters very well, I especially loved your Applejack. She was so torn between Twilight and Rainbow... dealing with her feelings for Twilight, while trying to be loyal to Rainbow. Yup, that's AJ I know and love! :ajsmug:

4082466
I have no epilogue planned thus far. Considering my rather, um, complicated relationship with this story, it's unlikely there will ever be one.


4082541
Thanks :twilightsmile: glad you liked it!

4030975
4038295
I didn't reply to your comments when the story was still incomplete because I hope that these questions have been cleared up by later chapters. Sorry if I came across rude :twilightblush:

I read this last night. I loved it.
Pretty original, and yet familiar, with a perfect blend of that spine-tingling creepiness and suspense, to relief, back again, back again, verging on more. Possibly one of the greatest poly-ships too!:D

Pretty good story! I enjoyed it! Great job!

I really enjoyed this story the whole house thing was crazy and the feel of the emotions was excellent. The only thing I would change is the ending it just felt a little rushed after they got out of the house. Still an awesome job though :ajsmug:

The ending felt a bit abrupt, but other than that I thoroughly enjoyed reading it. That surreal feeling that haunted so much of the story was well done, and really gave the store a unique flavor. :twilightsmile:

"Rainbow wanted to flip it the bird, but her hooves were full with Applejack."

But.. how could she even flip the bird in the first place? She needs fingers!

as they kept walking the house just got closer

alright if they were walking away from the house and it was following them... then I think that's the scariest part.. I'm gonna have a hard time getting to sleep. :twilightoops:

I only read the description, and all I can say is:
"This... I approve of this..."

Great story, the ending could have used more of what they actually did about the house though.

5772854
Heh, yeah, I was aiming for that feel of The Gunslinger. The house tho was more directly inspired by the one from Black House. Big fan :twilightsmile: thanks!

“It’s fair because it’s what we all want,” Twilight explained, finally picking up on Rainbow’s reasoning. “Not just for ourselves, but for each other.”

This = very yes.

So I have to concur with a couple of other commenters that the ending felt a bit abrupt (or at least rushed), but overall I really liked the conversation at the end. Dash's straightforward appraisal of the situation very neatly sums up the poly approach to love (or at least an approach, since there are approximately as many as there are poly relationships), and it's refreshing to see that put to paper. Or pixels, as it were.

Can you recommend any other good poly fics? I've either read or flagged the other entries in the contest, as well as Tchernobog's own "Just a Couple of Ponies" and Violet CLM's "Home is Where the Hearts Are," but I haven't done a thorough search for others.

5774390
I don't think I've read any others except the contest entries, sorry. I haven't even looked at Tcherno's fic cuz I don't read incomplete fics :twilightblush:

Most relevant groups (e.g. Shipping, TwiDash) have Polyamory folders though, they are probably your best bet for finding moar.

Wow! Frankly, I'm not a dark stories fan, but appears I can live with it in the "teen edition", especially when a romance stuff is involved x) And any debatable detail didn't prevent me from reading the story from start to finish)) I've not opened the approptiate bookshelf yet, but you definitely get my like)) So if you ask me:

Bearable level of "darkness"; lovely written characters, the house included; an interesting holistic story, if I'm still speaking in English (maybe not enough). And I wouldn't be surprised to see a sequel revealing the history of the house:)

Woooow! Dark, AppleDashLight, well writen, BOOM, this just become one of my top favourite storys so far! Love it!

What a good read. Ending was a little abrupt, as others have said, but it's nice it ended on a high note. Added to favorites.

This was a good read, with what I would call just the right amount of time shared between both the horror aspects and the romance.

Login or register to comment