An Equestrian Princess in London

by Gherkin

06: A Fool, or a King's Man

"Well, that didn't go quite as smoothly as we'd hoped."

Bond looked over towards Princess Twilight, raising an eyebrow. "Well, bugger me if that wasn't the understatement of the year," he quipped, leaning back in the seat of the limousine that he and the two ponies were being transported in. "That was a bloody mess. I suppose we should be thankful that it didn't get any worse."

"I guess so," the alicorn replied, resting a hoof on her friend's back as she gazed out of the window at the London skyline. Dash flinched ever so slightly, as if she was trying to hide the fact. Twilight sighed and looked back at him. "What reason would anyone have to even think of doing something like this, let alone go through with it?"

"Some misguided bullshit, I'm sure," he muttered, groaning quietly. It had been a long day. "Are you sure you're okay, Rainbow?" he asked, turning his head towards the pegasus.

A few seconds passed before she pulled herself out of her own thoughts. "Yeah, James, yeah." She turned around and smiled, albeit a bit weakly. "Just shook up is all. I'll be okay once we're back at the hotel." She paused as she thought of something. "Hey, can we order room service?"

Despite everything, that managed to make her friends crack a smile. "I don't see why not," Bond said. "After all, no expense is spared when it comes to alien royalty."

"Yeah, I bet we're not exactly the kind of aliens humanity was expecting, huh?" Dash chuckled, managing to take her mind off the night's events.

Bond smirked and shook his head. "Well, you can say that again. You're not little green men in flying saucers."

The two mares snickered slightly as the car pulled up to the front of the hotel, feeling a little more at ease than they had an hour or so ago. "Looks like we're here," James muttered, opening the door and holding it for them. As he did, he scanned his surroundings, taking in every single minute detail. His hand even hovered towards his chest, ready to grab the gun holstered there beneath his suit at a moment's notice.

Twilight stepped out swiftly, while Rainbow Dash lazily glided up a few feet in the air. He rolled his eyes, and quickly took them inside. A few curious people inside turned their heads towards the unusual newcomers, but the presence of an intimidating secret service agent next to them dissuaded any from getting too close. Today has been too bloody long, he thought grimly, pressing the elevator button in a vain attempt to get it to reach the ground floor faster.

"Are you okay, James?" He looked down to meet the princess' gaze. She had a tired, yet concerned look on her face. "I know today has been a bit of a mess."

"It's been a huge fucking mess," he groaned, yawning as the elevator doors finally opened. "Nothing ever goes smoothly, does it?" The three of them walked inside, leaning against the walls of the elevator as the doors slid shut again. "There's always some sort of goddamn conspiracy. Now I don't know how safe you two are, no matter where you are." He chuckled slightly. "I mean, for God's sake, I've worked with Webb for years. To think he could just betray us, as easy as that..."

Twilight tried her best to comfort him, smiling softly and reassuringly. "Come on, James, we'll be okay," she told him with an air of confidence. "We should be able to get to the bottom of all of this relatively quickly, now that MI6 has taken that guy in for questioning."

"Yeah, well, something tells me that it won't be that simple," he scoffed cynically. "It never bloody is."

The elevator doors slid open as they finally reached their floor, near the top of the hotel. James took the lead, poking his head out and checking to see if anyone else was around, before nodding for the both of them to follow. Naturally, they had been given the most luxurious suite the hotel had to offer: a large bedroom, living room, and even their own fully stocked bar. He pulled the doors to their suite open and stood aside, letting them walk past. Dash glided inside lazily and landed on the couch, evidently tired from the day's events. Not that Bond could blame her, of course. She was trying to hide it, but he could tell that her attempted kidnapping had really had an effect on her. He had a feeling that she would play up her cocky, arrogant attitude in order to mask any insecurities caused by what his former colleague had done.

He groaned again as the traitor came back to the forefront of his mind. That twat, he thought, grabbing a laptop from the dining table and sitting next to Twilight on the couch. It wasn't even the first time such a thing had happened, either; it wasn't the first time that one of his close allies had turned rogue. He cast his mind back to the events in Siena, Italy, almost a decade prior. Is there anyone who isn't a bloody turncoat?

He looked up from the screen and saw the two of them inspecting the television remote. Managing to smirk slightly despite everything, he picked it up and pressed a button, making sure to show them which one. "Let's see what's on, hm?" he murmured, as the television lit up. The news at ten had just come on, and there were no prizes for guessing what the top news story would be.

"We're now going live to the aftermath of a shocking gun battle that took place earlier this evening at a popular West End nightclub near Trafalgar Square," The presenter announced, before cutting to a reporter live at the scene. Twilight gasped as she saw the scene of shocked patrons, lit up by a multitude of flashing blue lights.

They all watched intently as the reporter began to speak. "That's right, I'm here at the Tasteful Club, just off of Pall Mall, where at approximately eight thirty this evening a horrifying shootout erupted between government agents and a number of unknown assailants. The battle left many involved dead or injured. No civilians were killed in the crossfire, although six were injured in the panic, at least one seriously."

"Oh my gosh," Twilight whispered, covering her mouth with a hoof. "Did they really think all of this chaos would be worth it?"

"Apparently so," Bond replied, frowning and returning his attention to the laptop screen. "We need to focus on why they did it in the first place." He managed to stifle a yawn, and looked over at them. "You might want to get some sleep, you two. I might be up all night sorting this crap out."

Dash nodded. "Yeah, I'm beat. Might as well turn in, I guess." A few bones cracked into place as she hopped off the couch and lazily flew up into the bedroom, swinging the door shut behind her. A few moments of silence ensued, broken only by the tapping of keys on Bond's laptop, until Twilight looked back up at him yet again.

"So, I imagine an entire reworking of the security detail is in order?"

He grimaced at the thought. "That's not even the start of it. They'll be checking almost everyone back at MI6, for anything that could be considered even remotely connected to whatever we get from that bastard Webb. Hell, I'm probably included on that list, just to be sure."

She frowned at that, not liking the idea at all. "Then who will be guarding us? What will we do?"

"Hopefully Mallory trusts me enough to give me a pass," he suggested. "For now though, your plans of a tour around the globe may be put on hold."

As he had expected, she looked crestfallen at that. He tried his best to smile reassuringly despite his exhaustion, and said to her, "I know, but for now it's just too dangerous. If someone who wants you two for God knows what could be a part of MI6 itself, then they could be anywhere else as well."

The two of them were interrupted as something popped up on the screen of the laptop; an incoming call from Q Branch back at MI6. "Here's hoping it's good news," he muttered to himself, scrolling the cursor and answering the call. Q's face popped up on the screen, obviously tired and overworked. "Hello, Q. You're a bit of a mess," Bond greeted bluntly.

"Ah, you noticed," he replied, straightening his glasses on the bridge of his nose. Bond's description had been somewhat of a understatement. The young man's hair was dishevelled, there were obvious bags under his eyes; his entire appearance practically screamed 'long day'. James mused that by tomorrow morning it would be more akin to something like 'lack of sleep'. Holding back a yawn, he took a sip from his mug of tea and noted, "This is my fourth today. I think I might have to move onto something a little stronger."

"Tell me you've got something," he insisted, though not without a hint of a smirk as Q put his mug back to the side.

He cleared his throat and held up a mobile phone to the camera. "Well, I've been going through his mobile for anything suspicious. Lots of calls made to the same number, but that number belonged to a prepaid, throwaway phone, so that lead ran dry."

"Even the call he made while he was in the club?" Bond asked, leaning forward slightly as Twilight used her magic to turn on the kettle in the kitchen.

He shook his head. "Different number, but still the same problem. More likely than not, though, it belonged to one of the men that you put in the morgue tonight, 007."

Twilight could not help but shudder at the grim description as she got up off the sofa. "Would you like a cup of coffee, James?" she asked in an effort to take her mind off it.

"Sure. White, two sugars." He rubbed his eyes and looked back at Q. "Any clue how the interrogation is going?"

He shrugged. "Not at all, unfortunately."

"Maybe I should come down and have a word with him myself."

Q gave him a shake of his head. "While I've no doubt your techniques can be… persuasive, 007, that's probably not the best idea. You need to stay with the Equestrians. I reckon you're the only one that they trust right now, and, honestly, I can't blame them."

One glance towards Twilight was all he needed in order to confirm that Q's suspicions were correct. He could tell, by the look in her eyes. She and Rainbow Dash were scared, probably more than they would care to admit. He was honestly surprised that they weren't setting up to teleport straight back home to Equestria. He wouldn't blame them if they did. Earth hadn't exactly been very inviting. Still, if they were staying, they needed someone they could trust standing by their side, and right now, the only person who fit that criteria was him.

"I suppose you have a point," he replied, relenting. He took the cup of coffee out of Twilight's magical grasp as it floated towards him and took a sip, closing his eyes for a moment. "What do you propose we do, then?"

Q shrugged. "Unfortunately, it seems that there's not much that you can do. I'm going to be up all night sifting through data, so, God willing, I'll have found something useful by the time morning rolls around. Maybe you should get some sleep, I have a feeling that you need it."

Sleep was not high on James' list of priorities right now, but even he could not deny the effect that the day's events had taken on his already weary body. He found himself yawning yet again, and shrugged indifferently. "Maybe. Might be a bit hard to get some sleep at all though, since I can't even trust my own bloody men."

"Well, I think you should try, at the very least," he suggested, after another sip of tea. "Anyway, I have a lot of work to be doing."

James nodded. "I'm sure you do. Goodnight, Q."

"Goodnight, 007."

With that, the call cut out, and, after a few seconds, he closed the screen of his laptop. He looked across to Twilight, then at the cup of coffee in his hands, and smirked ever so slightly. "Well, I doubt I'll be getting any sleep with all of this caffeine running through my veins, either."

She looked at her own mug guiltily. "Heh, that is true. Sorry about that." There was a pause as she bit her lip and thought. "Well, I'm sure that there are some other things that we could do instead. I'm just not exactly sure what."

A thought crossed his mind that made him smile slyly. He picked up his laptop and slid it across the sofa towards her. "Maybe you'd like to read some more about history, or culture, or, well, whatever you like."

Her face lit up at that, as he expected it would. In no time at all she had scooped the device up in her magic, quickly opening up a web browser as he had showed he before. James smiled as he watched her before closing his eyes, the events of the day finally catching up to him despite the coffee he had just drank. I just hope that tomorrow will be a little quieter, he thought optimistically, settling down into the sofa and crossing his arms. God knows the two of them deserve it, and I could use a bloody break as well.

***

Bond hadn't seen the entirety of MI6 in such a state of disarray in a very long time. Well, discounting the day Twilight and Rainbow Dash arrived, anyway. Discarded coffee cups were strewn about the place, dirty mugs sat on desks laden with paperwork, newspaper snippets, and other such clutter. He was suddenly thankful that he had been afforded the luxury of a half-decent night's sleep, for it was quite obvious that nobody here had. And while many of the people working in Q Branch had now gone home for some well needed rest, Q himself was still sat at his desk, hunched over his computer.

"How much tea have you gone through to keep yourself going all night, Q?" he wondered aloud, as he and the ponies approached. "That must be, what, your tenth mug, I reckon."

The younger man groaned and rubbed his eyes, lazily looking over at the half-finished mug beside him. "I don't even want to think about it, 007. Without a doubt, last night was a long one." A coy smile crossed his lips as he spun around in his office chair. "But it wasn't for nothing. I found a lead in the phones I was looking through, and it matches up with some information that our boys managed to squeeze out of Webb."

"Perfect," James said with a relieved smile, before continuing with a chuckle, "I knew I could count on you, Q."

"Well, I couldn't have done it without your reassuring support 007, that's for sure."

The playful sarcasm was not lost on him, however he decided to press on with the matter at hand. "So, what did you get out of that bastard? Associates? Location?"

Another yawn interrupted him before he could answer. "The latter, 007. Numerous calls made to a phone in the same location, an address that Webb also happened to give up under interrogation."

"Well, where is it?" Dash insisted. "We gotta go and get those guys!"

James turned around to face the both of them. "No, that's out of the question. You two are staying at the hotel, after what happened last night." She went to say something in objection, as he had expected, but he stopped her. "I said no. Going out into the front lines, as it were, is too dangerous."

Twilight's eyes narrowed slightly as she looked up at him. "Didn't you say yourself that you weren't sure if you could trust even your own personal security team?"

He grimaced. It was out of annoyance, more than anything, because he knew she had a point. No matter what he decided, they would be at risk. Still, he was adamant that the decision he had already made was the lesser of two evils. "I know what I said, but I stand by what I said. It'll be much too dangerous for you to go along. It's you they're after."

"But we might be able to help you!"

"I said no." He insisted sternly. "I'm sorry, but I have to go and look into this myself." Turning back to Q, he asked. "Where is this place?"

He tapped a few keys on his computer, bringing up a satellite image on screen. "A dockyard down on the Thames, near Rainham. No information on what you might be going up against, mind you," he added regretfully.

Sighing, he nodded and turned to the two Equestrians. "Come on, you two. I'll get you back to your room first. Send the address to my phone, Q."

"Already done."

"Thank you." With that, he turned and began to lead the two of them out. I bloody hope this lead gets us somewhere. As he walked, he looked down and inspected the images that had been sent to his phone. The place looked utterly inconspicuous; just a simple waterfront warehouse, barely kept tidy at all. He supposed that worked in their favour, since it wouldn't usually arouse suspicion. Still, they more than likely knew that their double agent had been captured, so he knew they were probably expecting trouble. Oh, they'll get it, alright.

Comments

[Asheram]

Precious updates! Oh, I love this fic!

[Booster Spice]

Modern interrogation methods are so much more fun. Gaming headsets and MRI scanner, pull the information straight out of your subconcious, now with images, sound and text.

Will be more intresting when we get full brain simulators and fast scanners, so we can do a copy of the sleeping person, then do the data extraction on that model instead.

[AceRevolutions]

#payday2referencesgalore.

The tasteful club is part of the nightclub heists in payday 2 where you could go quiet or just plain loud. I wonder what they will raid next?

[Regreme]

Nice update.^^

[The Rogue Wolf]

"No information on what you might be going up against, mind you," he added regretfully.

Well, if things hold to pattern, there'll be: A careful infiltration, a couple of near-misses, a sighting by an enemy who raises the alarm just before being brought down, some gunplay, more near-misses, a railing kill, and a pithy one-liner.

[D48]

So, why is Bond going again? There are lots of other agents they could send to storm the place assuming they do not want to throw a total curveball at the opposition by calling in the SAS or something, but Bond is the only one that they can really trust with the ponies so he should really be sticking with them.

[moviemaster8510]

A Fool, or a King's Man

Oops, wrong series.

(Though, I'm planning on developing a Kingsman: The Secret Service crossover myself).

[Gherkin]

5930568 Glad someone caught that. And I'll have to keep an eye out for that, Kingsman was one of the best films I've seen in a while.

[totallynotabrony]

Bond seems to be using a bit more profanity than I would have expected from him.

So it looks like things are going to go even further to heck before they come back. Any chance Felix Leiter will make an appearance? Nobody sends things straight to heck faster than Americans

[The564mumble]

oh boy....... where is this gonna go now?

[BenRG]

Typical Rainbow; she had a horrible shock during the battle in the nightclub but her Element is driving her on to continue to fight for her friends and against the Betrayers.

[Knightwolf1875]

I'm hoping the Discord finds a way to pop in and help out. Luna knows just how well he can mess with whoever this is.

[Lucky424]

Wall... at least he talked a little. So, is this place where Dr Evil wants to mount unicorn/alicorn horns onto sharks instead of laser?

....wait.... wrong spy series!

5930864 I'm gonna watch it tonight!

[SonicANIMEfan2013]

I miss the original Q and all the gadgets

[Frission]

5993937 So, so very much agreed. The 'reboot' of bond has, unequivocally, sucked. Only Skyfall even began to start to redeem it, and even then only slightly.

[Diokno44]

6005390 Well, the lack of fancy gagets and cold persona apparently fits more with the original book Bond, who was just an agent with guns

[Frission]

6233707 Meh to the Nth.

[notrelatedtoanyone]

I really hope you update this.

[totallynotabrony]

All I wanted for Christmas was another chapter of this story.

[totallynotabrony]

6799221 I know.

[CaptRicoSakara]

Great to see the sequel out and about. Just need to update now. Can't wait to read more. =3

[Wiz Ahmad]

It's been 14 months since this chapter was written this was such a good story!!

s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/9d/56/fa/9d56fac14bdfaaeb595ed5c5aae1ce9d.jpg

[A random person]

I hate it when people just leave their story as incomplete when its been over a year since the last update....

[Night Star the Scholar]

Update please!!

[Night Star the Scholar]

Really Dude... update please!

[RobertLuller_Bass]

IT'S BEEN 3 YEARS
COME BACK

[Paulli]

5436960
This guy's still not comin' back, i hate hiatuses, i simply just hate 'em.

[Beeooow]

I read this knowing it hadn't been updated in years.
Still hurts.

[Donniehummer876]

When will this update?