Shortly after the events of Crysis 2. Alcatraz continues to find a way to wipe out the Ceph.... until a strange event occurs involving a rainbow... (This is my first attempt writing a story since the time I was a kid, chances are I'm not going to be consistent with releasing chapters so bear with me. Will this be a triumph for a first-timer who delivers honor and justice for this fantastic sequel of a game? Or shall it be left buried and forgotten by people with a ridiculous alias? I welcome criticism, praise, advice as long as you aren't downright trolling.) All credit for the Crysis universe goes to Crytek; MLP:FIM goes to Hasbro.
Chapters (3)
Good enough, a bit rushed , nice writing style, no grammar mistakes [ that I could find]. Although if you do not have a solid idea on how to continue I suggest you stop this now. What I mean is that you might want to re-think this chapter and re-write it, the idea of princess Celly knowing of a different plain of existence is rather bothering you should have both worlds have absolutely no idea of each other [ confusion = fun ] ! I like to be encouraging thou so have five stars .
Keep this up, I love the idea of it.
I enjoy the concept and the execution is nice, I'm not normally one to critique, so yea. But still, It could have been longer, and I agree with Azzazel on the whole, Celestia knowing of humans thing. But if your going to continue, Ill read it. Seems pretty solid, so yea.
Well thank you kindly for enjoying the concept and what I wrote. Truth to be told, it seems rushed because I actually didn't put much thought to it but I figured a Crysis 2-Mlp crossover sounds interesting, so I started typing with little pre-writing involved just for fun. I can't really consider the idea that Celestia has no knowledge of humans since for a ruler that live for a 1000 years (and beyond), it seems rather unrealistic of her. Although I could make a compromise out of your idea Azzazel, its not like the other ponies know who humans are. So yeah, I just might plan to make this a long story but in the meantime, I'll see to it that I'll plan the events out. Any feedback like praise, advice, or criticism is welcomed as long as it is not rude.
I guess that works but beyond the knowledge of it existing and what they are called/are would be pushing it! The concept works, and I really will be disappoint if he doesn't freak out and thrash some royal guards in his panic.
good so far, but tread carefully my friend, you venture on thin ice.
212203 How?
212227
There has been too many times where i read a story where the writer has some good idea and then the writer totally bombs it and i'm left there going like "WTF did i just read?".
Plz, don't disappoint me
212301 I thought you said that I was on the verge to screw it up or making it a pile of trash. I digress, don't worry. I'll do my best to make the story good and entertaining. I have some interesting ideas that are in the works but for what to expect in the future, here is a portion on what to expect.
- There will be no pointless love side story.
-Alcatraz will most likely stay mute. I don't like the idea of giving him a personality such as those in the COD series, or the streotypes like "the silent but deadly", "bad boy renegade", or anything at all.
-Will characters die? Yes since this is a war.
Any advice you want to offer would help.
212197 I personally would find it strange that Celestia, a 1000 year old ruler (and beyond) with vast knowledge and power wouldn't have the slightest speck of knowledge with humans or other lifeforms. As for Alcatraz going hostile, I have small a idea like that but I will not make him go Postal or make it a big part of the story because I'm not aiming for that. Something much different that will tie in with the Ceph and Earth.
212346 What I mean is that beyond basic knowledge of humans would mess things up, aka her knowing about tech and such [ It fucks up a story believe me ]. Also going mute on Alcatraz is kinda weird[since Celestia has vast knowledge of blah blah blah you get the point] . I mean making the main protagonist speechless will make for hilarious confusion but beyond that it will get annoying later. I'm just gonna throw my suggestions out : 1. Make him silent for a while till he gets used to the situation and decides to voice his opinion [ the expressions would be priceless ] 2. Or just make him talk very little and annoy everypony[ a personality like Rorschach or Alex Mercer would fit him well if you need examples] . Keep in mind that the nano suit 2.0 is a wonder of tech what I'm saying is that the little robots doing all the hard work adapt really fast to the environment [ aka magic since it will be used on him] thus giving at least a bit of an edge to show that messing with an Alien creature will likely end up in a : "F**k with me and die'' situation[ Just keep that in mind would you ?] !
212411 You seem to worry too much. Celestia might be wise but she doesn't know everything. At the most, Celestia and Twilight know its a living being but aside of that, they have no useful/important knowledge about humans or their technology. I may give Alcatraz a little dialogue but I don't want him to be a streotype soldier like most games, or give him a personality because I'm trying to aim for a mostly silent protagonist (people like Gordan Freeman from Half Life, Point Man from F.E.A.R. ,etc.) Although I would like you to give me examples of characters like Alex Mercer, Rorschach as you mentioned. I digress, would you clarify the "little robots doing the hard work" part? Aside from that, you really have nothing to worry about the story at the moment.
Hmm, Alcatraz can go invisible. Go Super strength mode. Eh I am Curious to see which one he uses.
221814 Wall-o-text inbound!
On a serious note: I second this. He is a total badass and should be written as such. But I do like the concept thus far.
223704 Lol. But I digress, I know that Alcatraz is a killing machine badass (or should I say Nanosuit 2.0). But I don't want to kill off ponies by Alcatraz's hands and then making him go postal.
224862 Right, that would be kinda weird. Btw, weren't there a third chapter?
225675 I honestly just hated the 3rd chapter. I'm completely re-writing it from scratch since I found that scene pointless and absurd.
227285 Well that gets rid of my critique... Anyway, hope it fairs better on the rewrite!
Now this is interesting! I'm happy that you chose to rewrite the chapter. It runs quite smoothly.
Much better, I see you chose a good type of personality, this looks like its gonna be fun !!
i thought you said that Alcatraz would be the mute badass. Being all like, "Fuck yea, nigga. I'ma fuck you up." kinda thing
231701 I'm not sure how's that going to work out. I will say that I broke the silence because I couldn't find anyway for that to work, that and it just makes Alcatraz into a lifeless husk; unlike Nomad. In the meantime, I can't say how'll this will turn out. Sorry if I disappointed you
I had to do this Please watch, and please wait for better version.
Prophet in ponyville
Why the empty space at the end?
256365 I don't know. Its been like that for some reason.
311214 Considering that the Ceph in Crysis 2 are completely different from the Ceph in the first Crysis with no given explanation (according to my knowledge), I don't see any trouble with giving Alcatraz a voice (whether in his mind or as he speaks). Just to clear any misconception I may have, do you mean the book Crysis Legion? If so, wasn't Alcatraz speaking in Crysis Legion for the majority of the time during interrogation? As for the suit being audible, that issue will be quickly fixed in the beginning of the next chapter.
i think this'll turn out to be a pretty decent story. though i have to admit this is one of the oddest crossovers ive seen yet. i cant believe someone actually did this. i just happened upon this when i searched crysis just to see what came up
looks good so far. please continues this.
though i wouldnt mind myself if Alcatraz had a bit of dialogue. It would work best if it was like how The Master Chief is from Halo, how he's pretty much mute in game though he still had lines in certain cutscenes when it was necessary.
335472 Thank you and as a friendly heads up, I can't be 100% percent consistent with releasing chapters soon, so if this takes forever, I'm sorry. Aside from that, I actually just randomly thought of the idea and maybe in the distant future, I'll do another crossover that would be the last thing anyone would expect.
On Hiatus... On Hiatus? ON HIATUS!!!
On hiatus... Tracked anyway.
557930 Disappointing isn't it? I actually am working on a new crossover fanfic that allows me to have more freedom on how I can set up the events, that and I'm more familiar with this particular work. I might start working with "My Little Crysis" again but I'm having a hard time figuring out a decent idea to make the story not a blatant "go guns blazing 24/7" idea, or the over-used "Lets get to know each other and become quick friends" scenario. Don't believe the story is dead, I just want to try something different in the mean time.
559500
I understand how a crossover is restrictive in terms of story and character development. It mixes up two (or more) completely different universes, and making them cohabit in a single story while respecting both lores can be quite a tricky stunt to pull off. In my opinion however as long as the story and characters are consistent, some liberties can be allowed with both universes, in order to make the plot coherent. Also the author should have an idea about how to finish the story even before beginning the writing.
I don't think it's dead, I've seen other stories start over after a longer pause. At least you do specify it's on hiatus instead of leaving it "incomplete". Hoping for more (soon).
[edit]: how do I make my quote point to the name of the person I'm repliying to instead of these rubbish numbers?
[edit 2]: Nevermind. I'm dumb and I won't hide it.
559546 Not so much at all, a person who actually is dumb is the one who acts like it but doesn't admit it since their ego is twice the size of Earth.
Guess that you just figured out that there was a reply icon in every comment.
I actually thought about doing the first Crysis or writing the story in the style of the novel "Crysis Legion". Problem with my story is trying to make Alcatraz sound like foul mouth but hilarious marine during the events of the story unfolding at him isn't my forte, it just comes off feeling forced than natural. For the mean time, I'll see whether or not my second story will fair better for me.
I thank you for being understanding of the current situation
um have you played crysis before prophet is dead and i am pissed about them saying prophet is alive in crysis 3
624495 Of course I've played Crysis and Crysis 2 (sorry no Warhead). I am completely aware of that in Crysis 2, Prophet commits suicide and Alcatraz takes on the Nanosuit 2. I just took a page from Crysis:Legion, it stating that Alcatraz now wants to be referred as Prophet.
No reason to be pissed of in Crysis 3, they didn't violate the universe at all (unless the alien's new look, lack of characters from both Warhead and Crysis counts).
update this story.... NOW!
962284 I would be working on this story (along with another that I actually have taken the time to write and type). Problem is the computer isn't working (or should I say bugged up its rectum) at the moment. I'm using the PS3 to access the internet, while I read and comment stories every now and then but hell. I'm starting to think I should start from scratch to fix the rushed pacing, add more immersive details, and make Alky resemble a bit more like his character in the novel "Crysis Legion" (minus the excessive swearing and expert talk on Nano technology, Hargreave's history, and most scientific talk that seemed more forced than necessary).
This ain't a false promise and I have ceiling cat as my witness to testify that this is the truth. So apologies if I'm taking way too much time doing anything, my luck has been lately going down to the bottom of the drain.
very intresting story u got going here.
Why this is a very nice story you have going on here
Interesting concept, I must say, I hope you take this off haitus and continue it soon. A Crysis-MLP crossover is a rather interesting idea.
I too made a crysis / mlpfim crossover video called FiM is Dead The idea is that if mlp fim had to die, it had to be done right.
1799062 I actually regret writing this half-assed POS. Nothing more but a generic crossover with hardly an inch of professional writing thrown in it.
With all due respect, your video did not impress me at all (and no, I never followed the whole "love and tolerate" concept that never was even said on the show). Try harder next time around.
1800598
yeah i know it sucks.... all i have is moviemaker so...yeah...video editing isn't really fantastic. in my defense though, it's probably the best video i've made......which really isn't saying much.......so....yeah
Y U NO CONTINUE STORY YET
2014067 Procrastination my good sir/madam. I'm actually thinking of starting from scratch (considering I've improved over time) in maybe one day where I feel like it.
i do like where you are going with the story tho, i was just wondering where you wer cuz it seamed like you werent on for a long time, i do hope you continue this story soon
НА РАБОТУ!ЧИСТИТЬ ГОВНО!
2222817 Care to be more specific on what you mean my good sir/madam? (that's some FANTASTIC Russian by the way)