...you must first invent the universe
Ponyville Schoolhouse was a place of liveliness and activity during morning classes. Little fillies and colts, who all wanted to learn something. Some of them more than others.
But after the lessons were over and the classroom was empty, somepony couldn’t help but feel a little lonely in here. That’s how Cheerilee felt everyday when she stayed behind for grading the tests. You could only hear the scratching of her pen, the occasional cough and the creak of the chair when she moved a bit.
That eerie silence made Cheerilee glad that she would have visitors today. Even though she wished the circumstances were different.
Like on command, the door to the classroom opened and the two ponies she had invited entered the room: Applejack and Twilight Sparkle.
“I still don’t get why I had to come here when Apple Bloom isn’t in trouble, Twilight,” said Applejack, her head turned to Twilight.
Twilight sighed heavily and answered in an irritated tone. “For the hundredth time Applejack, I don’t know. What I do know is that Cheerilee specifically asked that we both come to this meeting after school.”
They both stopped when they saw Cheerilee sitting on her table, giving them a dry smile.
“Hello Applejack, hello Twilight, I’m glad you two could make it on such short notice. I think this matter requires immediate attention.”
Applejack’s eyes went wide in surprise. That sounded serious, and in her head several horror scenarios started playing. They all involved the Cutie Mark Crusaders and all kinds of dangerous contraptions.
“So they did get in trouble! Tell me Cheerilee, how much was the property damage this time?”
“Relax, Applejack. Everything is fine with those three and they didn’t do anything wrong. Quite the contrary, actually.”
Cheerilee opened the drawer of her desk and took out several stacks of paper. She laid them out before the two mares and they recognized it as different tests with grades on it. Twilight saw the names of Scootaloo, Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom on them.
“As you can see, the grades of Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle improved across-the-board. In terms of math, biology, history, science or pretty much any other subject I teach, they have managed to become straight B students. But not Apple Bloom. She didn’t improve at all.”
Applejack narrowed her eyes to slits and the next words that came out of her mouth had a certain coldness to them. “Did you invite me here only to tell me that my sister is not as smart as her friends? Is that what this is all about, to tell me she is stupid?”
“Oh, goodness no, Applejack! That’s not what I’m saying at all. Apple Bloom is a decent student and managed to keep a straight C average,” said Cheerilee with a little panic in her voice, eager to calm down the angry Applejack.
Applejack took off her hat and slammed it on the table. “Then what the hay is the problem? And why did Twilight have to come with me for this?”
Taking a deep breath, Cheerilee removed Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle’s tests, then spread Apple Bloom’s tests all over the table.
“I invited Twilight to join us because she has the highest academic degree in Ponyville, and will most likely be able to confirm my suspicions about these tests.”
Twilight started to look over Apple Bloom’s tests and thought Applejack would do the same, but she got angry again.
“What suspicions are you talking about? Are you calling my sister a cheater?”
“Applejack...” said Twilight as she flipped through Apple Bloom’s tests.
Applejack ignored her and pointed her hoof at Cheerilee. “I don’t know why you’re targeting my sister, but let me tell you that no member of the Apple Family would do such a thing!”
“Applejack,” repeated Twilight, now with an edge to her tone. The flipping of the pages also became faster and more frantic.
“The audacity to even suggest that my little baby sister would—”
Twilight put her hoof forcefully on Applejack’s shoulder and spun the farm pony around to face her. “APPLEJACK!”
“What?” shouted Applejack, finally calming down once she saw the baffled look that Twilight had on her face.
Twilight’s hooves were shaking a little when she gave Applejack a few tests to look at. All Applejack could see was what Cheerilee already had told them. Straight C’s all around and Applejack couldn’t have been prouder. She never was good at school herself and had struggled to even pass.
“Every test has the same percentage,” said Twilight with ever-widening eyes.
Applejack shrugged with her shoulder. “So what, Twilight? What’s so special about that?”
“What’s so special about it, is that no matter what the total score or the subject was, Apple Bloom reached the exact amount of points every time to get the percentage for a C. Most of the times it’s just half a point which would have made a difference.”
“That could be a coincidence,” said Applejack, furrowing her brow.
Cheerilee snorted loudly. “Fifty times in a row? No, Applejack, she planned this! She didn’t even do all the questions per test, just enough to get the required results.”
Twilight really couldn’t believe it. Something like that would have been hard enough to do with one test, but fifty tests made this just look ridiculous. Only somepony who knew the subject matter could do this, and even then only when said pony was absurdly well versed in it.
“You think Apple Bloom is a prodigy, don’t you?” asked Twilight.
Opening her drawer again, Cheerilee picked up a large brown envelope with ‘For Cheerilee and Applejack’ written on it. “I think we’ll know for sure in a moment”
Applejack and Twilight looked at it, and Applejack recognized the hoofwriting on it as Apple Bloom’s. “What is that?”
“When I told Apple Bloom that I would talk to you and Twilight, she gave me this envelope and said to open it with you two present.”
Cheerilee thought about how she got it this morning. The little filly had a really sad look on her face back then.
Applejack and Twilight both came around the desk to read it with Cheerilee. She ripped the envelope open and the first thing she pulled out was a written letter.
Hello Cheerilee and Applejack,
I assume the cat is out of the bag and I can’t hide it anymore.
I’m sure you have your suspicions about me and my condition. To get this over with as fast as possible, I’ve enclosed something for Twilight to look at. I’m almost certain that she’s with you right now and is also reading this letter.
They stopped reading and pulled out a large stack of stitched together paper. Twilight read the first page out loud and her eyes almost popped out of her skull. “The Starswirl Theorem, a thesis by Apple Bloom Apple.”
While Twilight was busy scrutinizing Apple Bloom’s work, Cheerilee and Applejack continued reading her letter.
I’m brilliant and that’s no boasting. I think the enclosed papers will stand testament to that.
I always had the feeling that I could understand things easy, regardless of what it was.
Living on a farm and not having much opportunity to compare myself to others intellectually, I thought for a long time that was normal.
Turns out, It wasn’t, so I decided to hide it from my family and the rest of the world.
But then Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo came into my life. For a long time I didn’t reveal my intelligence to them, out of fear they would reject me.
Now they know and still stand by my side, not caring about it.
And I couldn’t be happier.
(I helped them study by the way, if you’re wondering where their good grades come from.)
I’m fully aware that this won’t last forever. Soon ponies will notice and expect things, but for now I’m begging you not to take my childhood away from me.
Please.
Regards,
Apple Bloom
The last thing in the envelope was a picture of the Cutie Mark Crusaders in their clubhouse, smiling at the camera.
Right at that moment, Twilight finished skimming through the papers and squealed in euphoria.
“This is amazing, simply amazing! I tried for years to solve this problem and your sister did it! We have to get her special schooling. We need to get her work published. The scientific society needs to know about this!”
“No it doesn't!” said Applejack dryly, a giant lump in her throat.
Twilight spun around and faced Applejack. “What? Why?”
This was exactly the thing her sister was afraid of. And Applejack would protect her from it, whatever the cost.
“Read the letter,” said Cheerilee, giving Twilight the piece of paper.
Her eyes flew over the paper and went soft once she reached the bottom of it. The inner conflict she had right now was something she never had experienced. Apple Bloom could be the smartest pony in written history, even more so than Starswirl the Bearded. But she was right in saying that things would change if ponies found out about it.
A soft knock on the door interrupted Twilight’s musings.
The door opened and the filly in question entered the building. She walked towards Applejack, while the three mares watched her in silence. Apple Bloom stopped in front of her sister and avoided eye contact.
“I’m sorry for not telling you. Please don’t be mad at—”
She didn’t get much further in her speech when Applejack hugged sister as hard as she could. “You have nothing to be sorry about!”
Apple Bloom glanced at Twilight and the stack of papers she was holding. “What are you going to do with this?”
Twilight put it back in the envelope before sealing it shut, and handed it back to Apple Bloom. “You know, the world waited more than a thousand years for this problem to be solved. What are a few more years compared to that?”
“Thank you Twilight!” said Apple Bloom while letting go of her sister. “And I wouldn’t mind talking to you about stuff like that, when nopony is around.”
The prospect of having an intellectual discussion of this calibre made Twilight squeal again.
Apple Bloom turned to Cheerilee. “Can I still come to the classes?”
“Of course you can. Maybe you’d like to help me with preparing the lessons, since you’ve been so successful with your friends?” said Cheerilee with a raised eyebrow.
Applebloom smiled at Cheerilee. “I would love to.”
With nothing left to say, they all exited the Ponyville Schoolhouse together, with Apple Bloom riding on her sister’s back.
“So Apple Bloom, if you’re really so smart, why don’t you clean up your room when I tell you to do so?”
“Applejack!” whined Apple Bloom into her sister’s mane.
But she was smiling all the while.
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I really liked the story. It was really cute at the end.
Thumbs up for making a Carl Sagan reference in the title.
This was really awesome, I loved it!
The end was so cute too
Good idea, but... It's hard to describe but I feel it could have been pulled off a little better.
One thing is that prodigy's usually excel at a few categories, or have a unique way of viewing the world. I just feel that it is a missed opportunity to not try to put something related to that in.
It feels a little odd that Applebloom, an earth pony, outclassed Twilight in an article that was most likely to do with unicorn magic. I know this is nit picking and it could have been about the universe but... it just didn't sit right as well as some brilliant new way to view magic would have. Solving a problem that thousands of others have tried seems a little ridiculous.
But I digress, this was a one off that I have no other major problems with. Hope this feedback helps.
Not bad, but you need to be careful with punctuation.
... and she still doesn't have her cutie mark? Damn, her talent must really be something amazing!
3927462
Thanks for your in depth feedback. It really helped me.
Maybe I add something in the future to fleshen it out more.
3929006
Man I love your profile picture.
3929094
I'm helpful!!!
Honest feedback time: it feels very rushed.
There's a decent buildup to the reveal that Applebloom has been sandbagging her tests. Fine. Then things just happen: reveal, she's solved a major field of unicorn study and eclipsed the canon genius, she's planned ahead and clearly articulated her reasons for sandbagging, she's given proof ahead of time to back her story up, all the adults do the rational thing as soon as it's presented to them... there's no conflict after the buildup. Aside from solving the Starswirl Theorum (couldn't she have created her own theorum of Earth Pony Magic, since the unicorns already have one and she isn't a unicorn in the first place) she's a level above believable in terms of intelligence anyway. Next, the adult ponies just agree to Applebloom's wishes as soon as she says what they are - this very rarely happens and was what finally broke immersion for me. Why do they agree so quickly? At least Twilight should need to be convinced (or should convince) because of Applebloom's expressed desire of friendship.
I do like the premise, it just feels about a thousand words short.
3929957
And again a very helpful feedback. I can see your points and why you think it should have been done better. Pretty much the places I would do touch-ups.
But for now I want to focus on my main story.
3929957
Actually, it's not all that unbelievable. Ponies thus far have proven to be easily swayed, not to mention Twilight and her friends are pretty much paragons of kindness, loyalty, honesty, et-cetera. If it's so important to Apple Bloom to not have her childhood ruined by the fact that she's a genius, well, I don't see why they wouldn't almost instantly acquiesce to her desires. Besides, if they honestly tried to force her to exploit her genius, she could just tell 'em to go screw themselves. I know I would.
Interesting story, but you really, really badly misuse commas. A lot.
You might consider looking for a proofreader to help with that. All over the place I find commas where there should be none, and no commas where there should be one. It just broke my immersion too much to continue after a while. 
3929509
3932774
Could you give me examples? Maybe, one for each?
It would help me alot
This is brilliant. I'd love to see more from this Apple Genius universe; it's an interesting premise as a one-shot, and I think it'd be an interesing premise for a longer story as well.
3933947
Sure:
The two commas you have there shouldn't be there; there should, on the other hoof, be a comment after "over the paper".
http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2010/04/alot-is-better-than-you-at-everything.html
3933969
Thank you.
That article was very funny.
3930779 If ponies acted rationally all the time, more than half of all episodes would be over in five minutes.
3930233 I'm glad it was helpful, and I hope to see more of your work soon!
Interesting. Very interesting.
i kinda want to see a sequel made where despite their efforts, her genius get's out to the public. i'd love to see how they all handled it.
3933947
Remove the comma.
Remove comma. No end of sentence punctuation.
Move the comma from after 'here' to after 'trouble'
Move comma from after 'stopped' to after 'table', and remove the 'and'.
Move comma forward one word.
And there's more. So much more.
If you've got this up on gdocs, shoot me a PM. I'd gladly go red-marker the hell out of it for ya should you so wish.
3933969
Very cute story
Not bad. But you keep missing the period at the end of quote sentences.
Going to have to mirror some negative comments in here. There are many grammatical and punctuation flaws in the story, and it feels quite rushed. The premise has potential; Applebloom feeling pressured not to go into science or academics because of her situation, or worrying that she will be treated differently if she excels academically, are ideas that make for a compelling story.
However, this conflict in her is set aside entirely. It's mentioned, and glossed over; a more interesting story might center on how this conflict affected her emotionally. Alternatively, investigating the reactions of the adults involved to her behavior in more depth might be appropriate.
Either way, the depiction of intelligence is not realistic. It's not that someone that age 'can't be that smart'. It's that intelligence is not some magical property, possessed by some and not by others; what we frequently call intelligence is a skill (actually, a set of skills) that one develops over time, with effort. Psychology is moving further and further against the idea that people are simply 'gifted' in modern times; it's more about what you care about and what you don't. One is 'gifted' with the drive to become good at academics.
Despite my criticism, props to the author for giving a unique premise a whirl. Here's hoping we see more out of this person in the near future.
I think the others comments said this, albeit not in the same words, but I'mma say it anyways. I can't help but feel like this story is underdeveloped. Everything just sort of happens without any buildup, and the ending is easy to see right from the start. I think it'd help if you spent some more time on Applebloom's point of view. I mean, she's a child genius, but where did she learn all that she did? Did she sneak books out of the library or something? Like others have said, the premise is good, it just needs some more work and development.
The proofreadening has completed!
I love Carl Sagan.
You get a thumbs up for that.
3936562 3927278
This is a great idea. I've read stories about Big Mac being a complete and total closet math wiz
, AppleJack being more worthy of a lab coat then Twilight ever will 
, even Granny Smith being not only wise but incredibly "book-learned" as she called herself, but never of Applebloom. Now my arsenal of Apple geniuses is complete
.
Welp, this was awesome. I (and probably a bunch of others) actually had the idea to write Apple Bloom as a math genius for a future story, but now I see somebody beat me to it. Oh well.
This was nicely written, everybody was in character, and the premise was handled really well. The detail with Apple Bloom's tests all being the same score was especially awesome.
But...and I know I'm going to get a crudton on thumbs down for this... I feel like this kind of a concept, particularly with Apple Bloom, could have been made into a REALLY good full length story. I know you wanted to just make it a oneshot, and that works totally fine for what you have here, but... consider it, maybe?
I feel like there's a lot of potential conflict that could come about as a result of this sort of thing happening. But again, this story is great just the way it is. Don't change it if you don't want to.
With all due respect,
~Arwhale
3935521
Firstly, intelligence might be a magical property in MLP. It is certainly influenced by genetics in the real world (although except in outlier cases, effort and upbringing make a far greater impact).
For the sake of this fic, lets assume that Apple Bloom has all the magic and/or genetics required to be a super-genius.
For anyone then curious as to how she then learned everything required to be as smart as shown in this fic without getting her books from the library (and cluing in Twilight), the title tells you what you need to know. She reinvented the wheel so to speak, by discovering a lot of what she needed independently of Equestrian prior knowledge.
The only question to then ask is; why doesn't she have her cutie mark?
3938185
Clearly, she's too omnicompetent for a single cutie mark to encompass her brilliance.
Any cutie mark sufficiently abstract and all-encompassing to represent her amazingness cannot actually be depicted in a 2D image on a pony butt.
The price of greatness. Also - HAH, Twilight's not the most bullshit overpowered pony in Ponyville anymore!
(I wonder if Applebloom has a secret lab. She should have a secret lab. For cutie-mark-discovering experiments too complex and dangerous to performed in the field with her friends.)
I had to read this for the title alone.
Edit: Scrolled down the comments, looks like you've already linked Glorious Dawn. Woop-haaw. Woop... haaw! (double
and a 
)
Ehh.
I'm going to be honest. I didn't really enjoy this. Your writing was mostly fine aside from some minor errors, it was just the concept that got me.
Apple Bloom as secret undiscovered genius just...doesn't resonate. I dunno. Maybe I've seen too many of this style of fic done badly before, and this is just a knee jerk reaction, but I didn't really enjoy it.
The whole thing feels rushed, too. And really underdeveloped. And while Twilight and Applejack do seem to be written very well, staying in character, it's Apple Bloom who feels way off here, and I get that some of that is due to the concept of her being a secret genius. But her just suddenly have solved this mystical theory, which if I'm reading Twilight's reactions right, is the pony equivalent of solving the Schrödinger wave equation in 4 dimensions, and it all seems to happen way too quickly after that.
It almost feels like you've made Apple Bloom too smart-she doesn't read like the character we know from the canon, and her language is way too advanced for her to be believable. And, like some people in the comments have mentioned, real-life geniuses tend to only truly be exceptional in one or two fields, and can, in fact, be utterly terrible in everything not related to that.
But again, I dunno.
3939319
There's a wealth of examples of real-life individuals who excelled in a multitude of fields (Polymaths). In modern times, most of the groundbreaking research requires cross-discipline knowledge regardless.
Still basically agree with the thrust of your comment.
3939405 Yeah. I'm not denying that people like that have, do and will exist, but they do tend to be rare, and the 'conventional' genius, who excels in one or two fields of study is more common.
And most groundbreaking research these days is done by teams of people, anyway. (the general rule is that for every person's name on a paper, there's at least five other people who helped out :D)
You should so a one-shot sequel of this, only x amount of years later. To have her stand before the scientific community, them looking down on her with their self appointed superiority, and have their egos crushed to a fine paste when she reveals her genius.
Goddam I hate brilliance. It makes me feel inadequate.
3939319 I think you are very much right on everyone being in character but Applebloom being made overly smart, she just seemed like she was a bit too out of left field and someone that smart would have shown it somehow, minus Applebloom though this was a good concept and read for me
(In regards to the title)
Is that why I suck at baking so much?
Daaww!
I... don't know what I was expecting, but it definitely wasn't this; I am happily surprised!
I certainly hope this doesn't mean her cutie mark will be a picture of Albert Einstein, Issac Newton and Steven Hawking
And one week later after all this trouble to not be revealed, she ends up with a calculus formula as a cutie mark, thus outing her.
I enjoyed it, but I wouldn't have seen it if it hadn't been added to "Cheerilee is Best Pony".
I'm gonna have to add it to a bunch more groups so more people can see this.
If you wish to make an apple pie from scratch you must first invent the universe...
Damn it, I knew I was missing a step. That explains why it kept coming out as rhubarb.
3927462 Are you saying that an Earth Pony would probably not be as capable of solving such a problem such as magic?
And besides, I doubt this story was being all that serious anyhow.
Completely consistent with Applebloom being a time looper, and the only one active in this iteration :-)
This is actually pretty dang good for a short story such as this. Really hope to see more of this AB in the future!
This is cute, and I like Apple Bloom's desire to keep things like they are.
Why didn't Twilight just help Applebloom publish the paper anonymously?