III — Information Appreciation
III — Information Appreciation
Your steps feel heavier than usual as you walk back towards your dorm. You always wondered what it would be like to make a deal with the devil—now that you have, you're not sure how to feel about it, although you're certain that you'll have a solid opinion soon. A guttural phrase detailing last night's obscenities echoes through the hallway as a pair of degenerates leave their own dorm behind you.
It appears that the members of the de-generation have started going through the daily motions. You hurry around the corner before they can see you, and continue down the carpeted corridor to your own dorm.
When you reach your door, you twist the doorknob and continue walking, expecting the door to be unlocked, just like you left it—your wallet was almost perpetually empty with the exception of a couple bank cards, and the only thing of real value you owned was your laptop, which was safely hidden under your mattress.
The door fails to open and you walk straight into the door. Thankfully, your nose protected the rest of your body by taking all of the trauma. Swearing under your breath and pinching the bridge of your nose with one hand, you knock on the door with the other.
No response.
Gritting your teeth, you knock again and exclaim, "Rainbow?! I know you're in there! Lemme in!"
The door opens a crack. You try to open it all the way, but the chain-lock keeps it from moving. A single eye looks up at you through the slit.
"Who's there?" Rainbow asks, feigning ignorance.
"You damn well know who's there," you mutter. "Now let me in!"
"What's the password?"
You glance behind you. Thankfully, there's nobody out and about to see you locked out of your own home. You silently count to five in your head before answering.
"Open sesame?"
Rainbow disappears for a few seconds before returning. "Wrong password."
You throw your arms up in the air. "Then I don't know the password, Rainbow. Please: let me in." Your words were drenched in acidic sweetness.
"You don't know the password to your own device? How do you use it then?"
Wait, what?
"What 'device'?" you ask.
"This one." Rainbow disappears for a moment before returning to the crack. You can see that she's holding onto your computer, which is running and stuck on the log-in screen. "Did you forget?"
"Hey—did you go searching through my stuff? Put my computer back!"
"Tell me the password and I'll let you in, okay? Deal?"
Of all the—fine. Whatever. In the grand scheme of things, it doesn't really matter if Rainbow Dash knows the password to your laptop or not.
Besides: all your porn is very well hidden. She'll never find it.
"Alright," you sigh. "The password is 'cabbage', lowercased."
Confusion shows in the solitary eye that you can see. "Cabbage?"
"Yeah. Cabbage."
"Why is it—?"
"Don't ask. It's a long story."
You hear a couple of keyboard clicks and then the start-up jingle. The door opens fully mere seconds after, and you hear the bedsprings groan as she hops onto her bed. At least Rainbow is true to her word. As you shut the door behind yourself, you glance right and see her lying on her stomach, frowning at the computer screen. Her left, oversized ear twitches towards you as the floor cracks underfoot. Her legs below the knee are bouncing up and down, and where feet would be on a human, there are a pair of hooves instead.
Despite how human Rainbow Dash acts, you still have to remember that she isn't—and never will be.
You shake your head and begin to check over your area to make sure that the laptop was the only thing Rainbow took. She may be true to her word, but she doesn't seem to know squat about personal space.
Thankfully, the rest of your possessions seem to be in order. You look back at Rainbow to find her frown growing in size. It's almost comical how annoyed she looks.
"Rainbow," you begin, your voice laced with forced cheeriness, "what seems to be the problem?"
"It doesn't work properly. See?"
You severely doubt that. You walk over to her bedside and peer at the computer screen. Everything is as it should be: the desktop is exactly the way you left it, and there doesn't appear to be any error windows cropping up.
"I don't see the problem."
"I can't move the—the thing!" You look down and see Rainbow aggressively sweeping her finger across the track pad. The cursor remains practically stationary in the centre of the screen. It only moves a few millimetres after even her most aggressive swipes. "It doesn't work!"
You nudge her hand out of the way and trace a figure eight pattern on the smooth surface. The cursor follows the pattern exactly. You chuckle when you realize why it doesn't work for her.
"It's your hands," you explain. "The sensor is built for human hands, not Equestrian ones."
"So... I can't use it?" Rainbow sounds extremely disappointed. You sigh.
"Give me a minute and I'll find something that lets you use it," you offer. As you begin searching your side of the room for a mouse, you ask, "How do you know how to use a computer, anyway?"
"Is that what it's called? A computer?"
You nod.
"I sat beside a human using one on the... flying machine."
"Airplane?"
"Yeah, that was it. On the airplane."
"Hmm." The mouse isn't where you thought you left it, so you begin systematically searching through all of the locations it could possibly be. "What did Mister Teller talk to you about?"
"Oh, he told me about all of the different courses I'll be taking. He also welcomed me to college and said that I would have a wonderful time here." Rainbow's face scrunches up like she tastes something sour.
"What's wrong?" you ask. After scrounging for a short while, you find the mouse underneath your dresser. You pick it up and walk back over to Rainbow Dash. As you connect it to the computer, you add, "Feeling homesick already?"
She nods. "Yeah. I miss my friends. I miss my town. What I miss the most, though, is flying."
"Flying?" You glance at her wings. "Oh, right. Of course. Flying. How could I forget?"
Rainbow Dash flaps them once, lightly smacking the back of your head with one of them. "I can't fly very well here. I can barely keep myself in the air. When I first came here, to Earth, I landed flat on my face instead of soaring."
You stifle a laugh.
"Hey! How would you like it if suddenly your legs didn't work?"
"I'm actually quite terrified of becoming paralyzed. Sorry," you quickly apologize. "I just imagined that happening, and I couldn't help myself. You falling on your face and all." She hits you in the back of the head with her wing again, this time harder. "I said I was sorry! Sheesh."
After thinking for a moment, you remember what you were going to ask. "Why is it easier for you to fly in Equestria than Earth?"
Rainbow shrugs. "Something about different laws of physics. Or the lack of magic. Or the air content. Hard to remember egghead stuff."
Hmm. You always wondered on the more incorporeal aspects between Earth and Equestria. "For what it's worth," you begin, "I'm sorry that your wings don't work as well as they should. I really am. I've been stuck on the ground my whole life, give or take an airplane flight or two, so my words probably don't mean much. But I'm still sorry."
"...Thanks."
An awkward silence hangs in the air. You break it by showing Rainbow Dash how to use the mouse. "What is it that you're looking for on my computer, anyway?"
You see a twinkle in her eye. "My friend Twilight told me about something called the 'Internet', where you can find anything. Is that true?"
You nod. "Pretty much."
"How do I get there?"
"I'll show you."
Five minutes and a quick course of 'Internet for Beginners' later, you have Rainbow Dash using the Internet like a professional. Naturally, you put on the child protection applications on your browser so that Rainbow doesn't stumble upon something that'll scar her for life. You leave her to her own devices, and return to your own: namely, going over your thirty-page essay one last time.
As deeply involved as you are with your work, it takes Rainbow calling your name three times in progressively louder fashion to rouse you.
"Yeah? What?" you ask.
"I'm hungry. When's breakfast?"
You check your phone, which also serves as your watch. "About twenty minutes until the café is open. I'll let you know when, okay?"
"'Kay."
You're about to return to your essay when you realize that everyone and their mother will probably be swarming over to get a look at Rainbow Dash. Just the fact that she was here would probably make the paper until she left. You sigh and rub your forehead when you realize there's no way around it, but a small smile appears when you realize that today is half-off waffles day.
They say that revenge is a dish best served cold, but maple syrup is best served warm.
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FirstI feel like I've read this story before. Did you post this about one to one and a half years ago then delete it?
3918135
Something like that.
I Like This ! WOOO
ahh, the quest for cabbage
Eheheheh...
You know me... Well then, Im'ma have a look-see.
I really enjoy this. I hope you keep updating it.
Aww.
Harsh.
Introducing her to the internet, eh wot? Please, I implore you, unnamed protagonist whose-name-seems-to-be-lost-to-time, do not allow her into the clutches of 4Chan!
I don't think that'll end well... Dash is a prankster, yes, but I dunno if she'll take it well now... Adding that to the fact that everyone will be watching, to take a gander at the new pony in town.
I was kinda expecting Twilight when I saw 'Anthro', to be honest. In a foreign college setting such as this, I think Twilight would've performed the role just the same, if not better. We already have Anthropomorphism focusing on RD (although that story is most likely thrown to the wolves, anyway). Dash is my fave and all, but I just felt like spouting some more useless conjectures.
In spite of that, however, the humor is relatable and top-notch. The backstory is quite enrapturing, as I stated previously, and the basic foundations for this alternate universe were laid out for the most part. You have a semi-plot-driven story that contains many of the slice-of-life components present in the other anthro story. I greatly look forward to seeing how our hero's antics pan out in the future, while getting a good laugh at the same time.
... It's mighty good to have you back, and seeing you at full capacity is just an added bonus.
Take it easy, now!
I feel like this will be similar to The Roomate
May i add this to my group?
Eeyup.
You said that the rest of the mane six is on earth, you should expand on that in other stories once your down with this one.
The fuck do you have against people on athletic scholarship?
You know, I really like this. I've forgotten how nice your writing style is like, Divide.
After I saw that the password was cabbages, I looked up the cabbage guy from Avatar: the last Airbender.
This is a fun story! I look forward to more!
3919554
They're freeloaders that get paid by institutions of higher education to do something that has no practical value for society while other people have to pay them to learn how to be productive members of society.
I presume that you belong to said group?
Hm, this looks very, very nice! I can't wait to see how it progresses forward.
I have a thought however. How the 'fur on the hands' work? I need a proper explanation for that.
3920705 Magic
3920713
Which is apparently not working on Earth, according the story.
And real life.
Anyone else wanna make a guess?
3920672 I almost feel bad for posting this massive comment, and yet at the same time I don't feel bad at all.
The freeloaders?
I take it that you have absolutely no idea what happens in college athletics, you just sit around and make assumptions of how student athletes must be treated and how its so unfair.
Sure there's the big name guys at the top Division 1 schools who happen to get full-rides. Sure there's the North Carolina State Universities where they let their star quarterback skip all of his classes and still graduate. Sure there are that less than 1% of student athletes who can do whatever they want.
Those people aren't even close to an accurate representation of who student athletes are. Most student athletes don't "freeload", because most student athletes don't receive any athletic scholarship money whatsoever. On my team of 30 players only 9 of us receive any athletic scholarship money at all. I can only afford to go to college because of my 1/3-scholarship. I'm receiving more scholarship money than the vast majority of student athletes, and I'm still paying 2/3 of my tuition.
Let's take a moment to go into detail what exactly being a student athlete entails.
Right now I'm spending 11 and a half hours in class each week, and the same amount of time out of class to maintain a GPA high enough to still be eligible for my athletic scholarship. That's the standard 23 hours of work normal students have to put into college each week. Mind you that student athletes are reviled by professors, because most professors consider student athletes to be guilty until proven innocent. Myself and some of my teammates have compared our test scores on written answer questions with non-athletes, and there is a significantly harsher standard imposed on athletes because how dare we freeload?
Yet its not the magical free ride that you seem to think it is, I have to travel constantly for games, and I have to spend 15+ hours a week training to stay in good enough shape to be able to be a competitive enough athlete to receive scholarship money, which at any given moment my coach can take away. I can't afford to slip up at all, lest my coach decides that he can recruit someone to do what I do better than me.
This year I broke my leg in a meaningless preseason game, and my coach told me that if I didn't recover from it than I would lose my scholarship money, and be forced to drop out.
Do you understand how awful that would've been for me? Do you get how embarrassing it would've been to go back to my family and tell them I had to drop out?
To look into my Dad's eyes, who I promised that I would be the first person in my family to get a college education, and tell him that I failed because some kid accidentally missed the ball in a tackle and broke a 2 inch portion of my shin bone off?
I spent a week crying myself to sleep because I thought my chances at getting a college degree were gone.
Yet I worked harder than you probably ever have in your life. I've come back stronger, and better than I was before, both as an athlete and as a person for what I went through.
It amazes me that bronies, a group that prides itself on being inclusive and not judging others, could have assholes like you who lump people you don't like into groups and act they're all the worst thing to happen.
Well I'll stick to my values, and not stereotype people. I don't hate everyone who doesn't like student athletes. I don't hate the professors that make my life miserable because the only way I can earn an education is through soccer. I don't hate the people who don't understand how hard I work everyday.
I just hate you.
3920865
3920672
How wonderful, even on the internet where it doesn't matter what others think, we can all revel in hatred towards each other. Come, let us all collect weapons and kill each other for having different views on how the world works.
3920865
>Right now I'm spending 11 and a half hours in class each week, and the same amount of time out of class to maintain a GPA high enough to still be eligible for my athletic scholarship.
Fair enough. I concede to you on this point, sir.
>big name guys at the top Division 1 schools who happen to get full-rides
But these people? They can go fuck themselves.
>It amazes me that bronies, a group that prides itself on being inclusive and not judging others, could have assholes like you who lump people you don't like into groups and act they're all the worst thing to happen.
Welcome to the Internet.
3921046
>the internet
>collect weapons
666 views.....
Should I be worried reading this? D:
3921941
No Blackdrag-rose, you ARE the nameless human.
That cliff hanger is so good it deserves to be condemned!
3920739
Zeph, Science. Science, Zeph. Get acquainted.
3921055 3921046
Neat.
3922477 There are so many self inserts while this is a more obvious one it is certainly a good one.
Her hands may be covered in fur, but her fingertips and palms would HAVE to be bare-- either by nature or due to calluses.
3922466
>the internet
>neat
3923571
A brilliant sentiment, I must use that somewhere.
this story has some potential. it really does. i guess i shall keep my eyes on this.
3922394
I am aquainted with it quite long ago, thank you.
My point is: are Equestrians that different from beings from Earth?
If you take a look at the animals that have paws, you see how the underside of their fingers are not covered in fur.
But you know what? nevermind.
Let's just roll with it.
Damn Divide! Already on the board again!
s6.postimg.org/dd47s96ap/Pirate_Approved.jpg
3925174
.... I thought he changed his name to Hancock.
Hm...you've got some good potential here. It's a familiar concept with some new elements thrown into the mix for good measure. It's written pretty well, for the most part. My only real complaint is that RD seems to be slightly OOC, but whatever.
Onwards!
I'll see where you go with this.
I shall call him
Mini-MeCommander Shepard. That way we can have this conversation:3925328 commander Shepard... Isn't he from stargate atlantis
3925432
That's Colonel Sheppard. Commander Shepard is from Mass Effect.
I like it please continue.
3925441 oh sorry...never played mass effect
3925812
Good game,good story,good RPG one of my favorites.
3918754 Don't worry, safety search is on.
Ive decided to name him...
Merasmus!Vincent!
I have no idea why!
3926798
I take it from your response that you are a pratchett fan
3925441
Military rank. Now determining your universe.