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Prologue: Hello, Rainbow1,291 words
I — No Woe1,579 words
II — Quid Pro Quo1,817 words
III — Information Appreciation1,559 words

I — No Woe

I — No Woe

"Nice to meet you," Rainbow Dash says after you tell her your name. She silently mouths your first name, her expression looking like she had tasted something foul. She goes back to unpacking, shaking her head. Oh well. At least your name is actually a name, and not a noun followed by a verb.

You glance over at the leaning tower of books on Fredric's—Rainbow Dash's now, you guess—bed that somehow manages to stay upright. That says more about the stiffness of the bed than her stacking abilities, though. You see an assorted collection of textbooks, varying from math to sociology and everything in between.

"So, Rainbow—can I call you Rainbow?" you ask while she continues to unpack.

"Sure, I guess, but if you try to shorten it any more or give me a stupid nickname, I'll throw you out the window. Deal?"

You shrug. "Fair is fair. Deal. Anyway, what—exactly—are you doing here? At Victus?"

"I'm here to go to college," Rainbow replies simply. You see her pull out what appears to be a swimsuit—albeit a very strange-looking one, with the same holes cut out for her wings. "Isn't that obvious?"

"Why here? On Earth, I mean. Equestria has colleges too, right? And universities?"

Rainbow tilts her head from side to side, somehow combining a nod and a shake. She sits down on the bed gingerly so as not to displace the leaning tower of learning. "There are universities in Equestria, yeah, but no colleges. I'm going to college here because... well..."

You raise an eyebrow at her trailing off. "Because..?"

Rainbow brushes a section of her hair over a gently rounded ear before answering. "I had to leave all of my friends to come here. It wasn't really my choice... I mean, it was my choice, but there weren't a whole lot of choices, y'know?"

You did not know, but you nod anyway.

"Some went to other places across Earth to learn stuff," she continues. "Some stayed behind to teach stuff. I can't learn egghead stuff very easily and I can't teach somepony how to fly faster, so my options were kinda limited. I may be the fastest flyer in Equestria but they wouldn't let me get within seeing distance of a university." She sounds and looks unhappy after what she just said. "When I was given the chance to go somewhere that was basically a university for sports, I took the offer in a heartbeat."

Your teeth unintentionally grind together. Goddamn sports scholarships.

"Wait... are... are you supposed to be my friend here?" Rainbow Dash suddenly asks, looking up at you.

The question catches you off-guard. You swallow and look away from the intensity and amount of her stare. "I don't know how to answer that," you honestly admit as shuffle your papers uncomfortably. "What do you mean?"

"You're the first human that I've properly met, besides the weird silent guy wearing sunglasses that drove me here. And because you're my roommate. Roommates are supposed to stick together, aren't they?"

You inwardly groan. You barely have time to complete all of your assignments, let alone time to for friends. The only person you got along with was Frederic, and you had a hard time calling him your friend. Rainbow cocks her head at you, waiting for a reply. You look back up at the ceiling.

You really don't want or need a friend, but you can at least pretend to be her friend for a little while, long enough for her to make her own friends. Rainbow Dash would make friends in no time, and then she'll leave you to your own devices. You can feel like you gained a bit of good karma while simultaneously making Rainbow feel welcome. Surely, this will work out exactly like you plan and will not backfire in any way, shape, or form. Surely.

Hopefully.

"I guess I could be your friend," you say after what feels like an eternity. Her response completely baffles you.

"But what if I don't want you to be my friend?"

You open your mouth only to close it again shortly after you see her deadly-serious expression.

"But—?" you begin. "I thought—?"

"I asked if you were supposed to be my friend, not if you would be. What do I look like, a friendship charity case?"

You feel strangely rejected. "Well, uh..."

Suddenly, Rainbow bursts out laughing and falls onto the bed, chortling to herself. You stand at the edge of the bed with a confused expression, and when she seems to get a hold of herself and sits back up, you raise an inquisitive eyebrow. If anything, that seems to set her off even more. It takes a solid minute of waiting for Rainbow Dash's wracking laughter to fully die down.

"You should've seen the look on your face. I wish I had a camera," she said.

"Har-de-har-har. I can already tell that you are going to be a royal pleasure to room with, Rainbow Dash," you say, your voice dripping with sarcasm. Your mind is already churning with ideas on how to get her back. Her fur seems like a prime target. Something at breakfast.

"You know, you're not half bad. I think given some time, I could allow you to be my friend," she teases, bringing you out of your dastardly planning.

"So let me get this straight: you're not here to learn about human culture and science, you're here to play sports?!"

Rainbow frowns. "Yeah, so?"

"So? So?!" You feel your blood pressure rising. "You get a free ride while other more deserving people have to bust their ass in every conceivable way!"

Without warning, Rainbow Dash's wings spread and she launches herself off her bed straight towards you, fury in her eyes.

"Hey—!" is all you manage to say before she crashes into you like a wrecking ball. As you fall to the floor in what feels like slow motion, a small part of you hears a knock on the door.

Thunk!

"Ow!" you exclaim, your vision full of a very angry Equestrian. There's practically steam coming out of her ears. "What the hell?!"

"You think I'm getting a free ride?! You have no idea what I had to give up to get here!"

Dazed and confused, the back of your head begins to throb as the door to your shared dorm opens slowly, revealing someone standing in the doorway. You follow the nicely polished dress shoes to an un-creased pair of khaki pants. You already know who it is by the time you reach the grey blazer.

"Good morning, Mister Teller," you say habitually.

Mister Teller is the dean of administration. He replaced Mister Divide—who was kind of a dick—during the beginning of the year. Fortunately, you haven't had to have crossed his path more than twice, and those times were only in the hallway. To be honest, he kind of scares you. At least Mister Divide had a sense of humour, however dark it may have been.

He raises an eyebrow and strokes his always-shaven chin. You follow his line of sight, and promptly swear under your breath.

As if lying on the floor isn't enough of a poor impression on the dean, Rainbow Dash practically straddling you certainly is. She glances at the dean, then at you, then back at the dean. She smiles falsely, showing glossy white teeth. You look back at Mister Teller. He seems almost amused.

"Good morning indeed," he says neutrally. He pulls the cuff down from his left hand and checks his watch. "I was going to ask how you and Miss Dash were getting along, but that question seems rather moot at this point."

"I-uh—"

Mister Teller raises a hand, silencing your attempt at a retort. He thinks for a moment as the ghost of a smile appears on his lips. It quickly fades away, replaced by the stoic face he normally wears. "I was also going to ask if you two would accompany me to my office so I can finalize a few documents, but I could always come back in fifteen minutes, if that's more preferable."

You stare at him, eyes wider than Rainbow's.

He stares back, unmoved. "Is fifteen minutes not long enough?"

"Are you—?"

"Kidding? Yes." He rolls his eyes. "Now get up, please. I don't know what situation I stumbled upon, and quite frankly, they don't pay me enough to care. So, if you don't mind, finish—" He gestures palm-up to the awkward position that you and Rainbow Dash share on the floor. "—Whatever this is and meet me in my office by eight o'clock. That's eight minutes, in case you weren't aware."

The dean takes one last look before shaking his head and closing the door behind him.

"Rainbow?"

"... Yeah?"

"Please get off of me."

She complies without another word, and you find yourself and her staring face-to-face. You cross your arms and tap your foot, expecting an answer. She holds your stare.

You decide to apologize first. "Sorry for what I said. Sports scholarships are a bit of a sore subject for me."

"I, uh, over-reacted I guess. It's been a long couple of days."

Rainbow seems like she has something else to say, but she clams up before another word slips out. You wave the rest of her apology away, satisfied with her explanation.

"Alright, we have a meeting to attend. It's a short walk from here. Let's go."

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