Nothing Personal, It was Purely Business
“That’s the last of them, finally.”
Solid Theory let out a tired sigh as wiped his brow with a hoof. The tan unicorn fell back onto his rump, piles of parchment neatly stacked on the wooden table before him as the blue glow surrounding them fizzled out. He had finished compiling all of the research data on his master work; the potion that had allowed Princess Celestia to save the inhabitants of this planet from their own destructive nature.
Solid Theory stared at the paper, his mind reliving the week before when the Princess had announced the success of the project. The entire planet had been covered by the barrier, the once stricken environment replaced by green fields, lush forests and sparkeling oceans. Theory and his team had been overjoyed to hear the news, the celebrations having lasted for days.
While his part in saving the humans from themselves was heralded as a great achievement Theory still felt a twinge of remorse when he recalled his first meeting with a newfoal, the mare the perfect picture of innocence. She remembered nothing of her previous life or people, content to just voice her praise for Celestia and Equestria in general. He was proud to have helped a species that needed harmony so desperately but as a scientist, the loss of such knowledge that he could have learned from the humans tore him greatly.
Theory didn’t move to incinerate the research notes on the conversion potion immediately as had been ordered by the Princess, the stallion content to lose himself in his thoughts as he sat in the barren lab room. Minutes passed, the only sounds that could be heard were his breathing and the occasional shuffling that his personal assistant, Quicksilver, made as the young stallion packed up lab equipment in the adjoining room.
Thinking of his assistant brought a small smile to Theory’s face, the grey-coated unicorn always a reliable source of comedic relief. Ever since the young stallion had been accepted into the job he had proved himself to be quite the life-saver, always quick to provide the science team with tea and other refreshments as well as humorous jokes and lightheaded teasing. The assistant had quickly cemented himself in the lives of the scientists, sometimes even inquiring into the nature of their work. While Theory enjoyed Quicksilver’s curiosity there was one thing that he valued the stallion for above all else.
“Quicksilver,” the middle-aged scientist called out, “could you please fetch me a cup of that incredibly addictive coffee blend you make?” Hoofsteps rang out on the metal floor, Quicksilver brushing his chestnut mane out of his blue eyes as he poked his head through the door.
“Sure thing Mister Theory,” the assistant joyfully replied, “the usual straight with just a hint of sugar?” Theory chuckled at the response, despite the older stallion’s repeated insistence Quicksilver was adamant to refer to him as ‘Mister’.
“Do I ever take it differently?” the scientist answered, Quicksilver rolling his eyes in response.
“Sorry for asking old stallion, I just thought that with Celestia’s order you’d maybe like something stronger to help you go through with it.”
“No, I’m perfectly fine with the destruction of my work without any help thank you,” Theory bitterly responded as he returned his attention to the pile of notes waiting for destruction, “just a few more minutes for me to reflect on what I created, then all data on my ultimate work shall go up in flames.”
“You’ll always be remembered for the good you did sir,” Quicksilver comforted as he approached the seated scientist, “nothing will change that and I’m sure that you’ll have plenty of opportunity in the future to create more great works.” Theory gave his assistant a thankful smile, Quicksilver always retaining an upbeat attitude even in the most trying of circumstances.
“Thank you Quicksilver, you yourself have shown great talent and integrity during your time with us. I would be grateful if you continue to improve my working day in the future as well, speaking of which…”
Quicksilver grinned at the scientist, “I’ll go get your coffee right away, don’t go setting fire to anymore benches while I’m gone.” Theory laughed at the memory of that day, never before had he seen his team of scienceponies so panicked. Quicksilver took a small bow before rushing out the plain door leading to the kitchen area, leaving the scientist to his own devices. Theory adjusted his lab coat, the white fabric briefly shielding his cutie mark of a bubbling beaker filled with green fluid which represented his innate gift for all things scientific.
His ears sprung up as the sound of a door slamming shut sounded, coming from the hallway that his assistant had disappeared down. Concerned for the young unicorn Theory got up from his spot, calling out as he approached the grey metal door.
“Quicksilver, are you okay?”
Theory reached out with his magic, aiming to open the metal door before it was opened gently from the other side. Through the doorway strode four unknown ponies, all earth ponies that shared the same light blue coat colour. Two of the ponies, Stallions, had coal-black manes and tails accompanied by lively brown eyes. The two mares had two-tone lilac tails and manes with fiery red eyes, all four of the new ponies sporting wide grins as they stared at the startled scientist.
“Who are you, who gave you permission to come in here?” Theory shakily asked as he backed up, one of the twin mares slowly approaching him as her fellows fanned out around the room.
“Oh don’t mind us,” the mare began cheerily, “we’re just here because we’ve been ordered to make sure your research is all safe and sound!” Theory glanced around at the rest of the intruders, one stallion guarding the main doors while the other two Earth ponies started to gather all of the research notes and place them in metal briefcases. The mare watched the scientist with a mischievous look in her eyes, Theory gulping as he addressed the crazy mare.
“So, you’re not going to hurt me?” he questioned with a tiny amount of fear in his voice. The light blue mare giggled into a hoof at the stallion’s response.
“Oh no silly,” she chuckled as she placed her raised hoof against Theory’s tan chest, the stallion looking down at the limb in confusion. “The Commander ordered that you get to live so that you can serve us!” The mare announced with glee.
“What?“ was all Theory managed to say, before the mare’s hoof touching his chest emitted a light whirring sound. The unicorn stallion gasped as a needle punctured his chest and something was injected into him, the mare still grinning as her foreleg shimmered with a blue glow, blue hair giving way to the cool gleam of metal. The smiling pony withdrew her mechanical hoof, a sliver of metal retracting as a drop of clear liquid left the tip and dripped on the floor.
Theory found he couldn’t move his body, the scientist toppling over onto the cool metal floor hitting the bench with a hoof on the way down. A glass beaker smashed to pieces on the floor, the other three intruders paying it no heed. The mare that had paralysed him sat down and righted the scientist caringly, placing his back against the bench. She giggled once more as she watched the unicorn’s eyes blink rapidly, the pony unable to speak.
“Silly me, I put a bit too much in,” she proclaimed, Theory’s eyes growing in fright as the mare touched him again with her artificial leg. A second needle pierced the unicorn’s skin on his neck, a much smaller amount of liquid invading his bloodstream. Theory let out a weak splutter as he regained control of his mouth muscles, a line of drool dribbling down his chin.
“Wha- what are you?” he weakly questioned, the mare causally preening her mane with her metal leg, the limb having split into four parts that were covered with spikes which the earth pony manipulated like a comb.
“Well, my official designation is Unit-One and I’m an Infiltration and Subversion Assault Drone, Self-Aware Model,” The mare answered as she started to brush her tail. “I was created by the United Imperium of Planets Research and Development Section to serve the Internal Security Agency as an artificial infiltration and psychological warfare weapon. I’m able to change my form to match over nighty-eight percent of known sapient species and I’m classified as a self-aware Artificial Intelligence.”
“You’re a machine?” the helpless unicorn responded, the mare ceasing her grooming as she looked at him happily.
“You ask a lot of questions, I like you!” the not-pony exclaimed, “and if by machine you mean a robot then no. I can simulate flesh and blood,” she demonstrated by rubbing the stallion’s face tenderly with her other fore-hoof, causing Theory to wince “and I can think like a pony, I just am programed to follow every order from a superior officer and obey the rules of the UIP. My body is made up of tiny, tiny computers called nano-cells that work just like organic cells, even better in fact. I can replicate any part of an organic body,” the mare leaned in to whisper into the unicorn’s ear, “even the reproductive system to a limited extent.” Theory blushed as the mare winked at him seductively, her metal leg once again returning to its original organic appearance.
“What’s going on in here?”
All of the occupants of the room looked towards the voice, Quicksilver standing in the open door staring at Theory and the surprised mare leaning towards him. Hoping to save his assistant from whatever cruel fate awaited himself, Theory summoned up the strength to force out a shout.
“Quicksilver, run and get hel-“
The unicorn was cut off as Unit-One shoved her hoof into the scientist’s mouth to muffle his cry, Quicksilver not moving to escape at all as he continued to stare at the scene before him. The other three ponies around the room looked at the assistant before returning to their previous tasks. Theory was confused, why weren’t the intruders trying to capture Quicksilver and more importantly why was the grey unicorn not running away? Quicksilver trotted towards Theory and Unit-One, the artificial abomination that was posing as a mare leapt to her hooves and snapped off a salute as the scientist’s eyes widened in shock.
“Commander Sir! Everything is going as planned!” the mare addressed, Quicksilver shooting the mare an amused glance.
“Does the plan include you attempting to seduce our mission target?” The assistant questioned, Unit-One lowering her hoof as she beamed at her apparent superior.
“It’s included in my plan!” she chirped, “What’s the point of being able to experience emotions and stimuli if you can’t take advantage of it. Just look at units Two, Three and Four,” the mare continued as she pointed towards her three companions who had finished their task of gathering the data and were standing stock still with cases on their backs. “They’re all so boring, what with them not having quite an advanced AI as me,” the mare stated as she put a hoof to her chest and her muzzle to the air. Quicksilver chuckled, shaking his head at the prideful antics of the false-mare as Theory stared at him with disbelieving eyes.
“At least they follow orders and don’t go sleazing around bars in their free time, unlike you little miss. I personally think that the braniacs went a bit over the top with your personality program.” Quicksilver scolded prompting the Mare to snort in amusement at his statement.
“As if you don’t misuse your temporary body to seduce the locals, I remember that one Pegasus mare-“
“What’s going on!?” Theory wailed, the situation incredibly distressing to the normally collected stallion. In less than half-an-hour he had discovered that he was the target of an attack by mechanical pony look-alikes and his trusted assistant appeared to be leading the monstrosities. Quicksilver looked down at the still-disabled pony, a look of genuine pity covering his face as he stood next to his former boss.
“It was a shame you had to get involved in this Theory; despite what your creation was used for I believe that you are a good and decent being.” Theory stared back at Quicksilver, the older stallion unable to grasp why his assistant and friend would betray him so.
“Why?” was all he asked, Quicksilver sighing as he sat down before the stallion.
“As you probably have already figured out, I and my subordinates are not of equine origin. I assume Unit-One already told you about herself?” The scientist found he was able to move his head slightly, giving a hesitant nod. Quicksilver lost his solemn look, a small smile spreading across his features. “What if I told you that I am human, or rather a very close approximation to one?”
“That’s not possible,” Theory answered, “the barrier and potion freed all of the humans.”
“On this planet maybe,” Quicksilver replied, “or at least the ones that were not inhabiting a constructed body already in your country before good ol’ Celly decided that she wanted more land,” Quicksilver flexed a forearm as he eyed his elbow, “and I have to say that the Biological Engineering team did a great job as well.” Seeing that Theory did still not understand what he was getting at, Quicksilver decided to elaborate.
“It’s like this. The Empire that I serve, the United Imperium of Planets, is always expanding and needing more liveable land. Normally we would just pop over to a neighbouring galaxy and just conquer it but we eventually ran out of galaxies. About three-hundred years ago a great scientist thought of a way to breach alternate universes, so naturally we leapt at the chance to form a multi-universal empire. Looks great on your resume,” Quicksilver joked as Unit-One lay down like a filly listening to an elderly relative’s bed-time story.
“We’re running out of time so I’ll get a move on,” the alien unicorn continued, “to cut a long story short we found your humble planet and inserted multiple cells of Intelligence agents across all of the major civilisations, myself getting lumped in with the new artificial agents that share this room with us for testing.” Unit-One stuck her red tongue out at Quicksilver, the unicorn giving her an un-amused look before facing Theory again.
“Needless to say it’s been interesting but not as interesting as suddenly having the country you’re in teleport to another universe, only for the local equine inhabitants start to convert the local humans into ponies that act like naïve children while singing praise to Celestia.” Theory looked down at the ground, guilt once again rising up because of his role in the conversions, guilt that did not go unnoticed by Quicksilver.
“You aren’t the only Equestrian that has doubts you know, even Princess Luna and her Nocturne Guards have been imprisoned after the dear Luna attempted to sway her sister. One has to wonder what caused such a mood change in the normally gentle Celestia, no?”
“I didn’t notice anything at all,” Theory lied, knowing full well that the actions of the Princess had seemed incredibly out-of-character, an observation shared by many of the civilian population. Quicksilver gave him a knowing-look,
“I know you noticed it and I must say I was surprised by her sudden urge to ‘purify’ the inhabitants of this particular universe. For once we weren’t the ones that caused all of the trouble,” Quicksilver finished with a chuckle.
“Commander,” the pair were interrupted by the monotone voice of one of the mechanical stallions, “time until commencement of next phase is almost here, recommendation is to finalise conversation with local sapient equine before contacting High Command.”
“Yes, yes Unit-Three,” Quicksilver dismissed with a hoof as he stood up on all fours, Unit-One rising up alongside him. “I assure you that I will endeavour to educate you more about our history once all of this is over, for now I have other matters to attend to.” Theory watched on as Quicksilver turned towards the open door leading to the kitchen from where he had entered from, “Shroud!” the alien called out, hoofsteps growing louder as something approached the room.
A Pegasus stallion with an ice-blue coat hesitantly entered the lab, Unit-One bounding over towards the skittish pony. “Yay, Nigel brought me a friend!” the monster-mare squealed as she ruffled the new-comer’s teal mane, the Pegasus yelping in fright. Theory was curious about the Pegasus but what he wanted to know was who this ‘Nigel’ was, maybe that was Quicksilver’s real name?
“Leave him alone Unit-One, Shroud you can drop the disguise now.”
The Pegasus watched as Unit-One backed off, the stallion eyeing the grinning creature warily. A flash of green flame covered his body, fading away to reveal a changeling drone standing in his place. Theory was surprised that a changeling was here, it was thought that the creatures had died out after the failed attack on Canterlot.
“Units, meet Shroud, Shroud meet the Units. Don’t worry about any detailed introductions; except for Unit-One all of them can only fake emotions and feelings. As for Unit-One, well…”
“Oh! I can transform as well!” the bubbly killing-machine shared with the nervous changeling, Shroud’s insect-like wings buzzing in fright as Unit-One’s face re-arranged to form nothing but a snarling mouth filled with gigantic fangs.
“Unit-One, no,” Quicksilver ordered, the fang-filled maw returning to the shape of the young mare. Her constant grim seemed a lot less welcoming now. The changeling shared this opinion, the hole-riddled creature striding over to stand beside Quicksilver as he tried to avoid making eye-contact with Unit-One. The mare seemed not to mind however, her ears raised and her eyes focused on the main lab doors.
“More friends are coming!” She squealed happily, skipping towards the main doors as they were thrown open and two Royal Guard unicorns held their spears out in shock as they observed the trashed laboratory, the drugged scientist, the multiple earth ponies, the rapidly approaching mare and lastly the changeling staring at them wide-eyed.
“Changeling!” one shouted as it pointed towards Shroud, the changeling attempting to hide behind Quicksilver. The alien waved a hoof causally, Unit-One having almost reached the two unlucky guards.
“Unit-One,” he stated calmly as the unicorns focused on the approaching blue mare, “kill them.”
“Yay!” the machine replied as she leaped atop one of the unicorns, the surprised stallion attempting to fend the mare off with his spear while his comrade stared at the spectacle. Unit-One’s right foreleg glowed blue, yet another thin needle appearing from a slot. “This one is my favourite!” she declared, stabbing the unicorn in the neck, bypassing his armour.
The Unicorn stopped fighting back immediately as he began to convulse, the other guard, Theory and the changeling looking on in horror as the injected guard’s eyes rolled around their sockets before the unicorn collapsed like a sack of mush. Unit-One poked the body with her normal leg as the corpse jiggled causing the mare to giggle as the other guard stood frozen in terror.
“All your organs are dissolved! There’s not mush left, he he he!” she sang in a sing-song voice before she faced the other guard. “Your turnnnn!” she sung, the armoured stallion turning around and fleeing out of the door. Unit-One leaped after him in a way that was not natural, a panicked cry sounding before it was silenced by a wet squelch. Unit-One’s joyful laughter was accompanied by the sound of tearing flesh, both soon being over-ridden by the whine of a power saw.
“Well at least that should pre-occupy her for a while,” Quicksilver commented, giving the terrified changeling a comforting pat on the back. “Forget about her Shroud, she won’t hurt you unless I tell her too. Now let’s get you and Solid Theory acquainted with my direct superior.”
Both changeling and dazed unicorn observed as the alien nodded towards the artificial mare standing silently next to the two stallions. One of the mare’s eyes detached, the now one-eyed mare setting it down on the ground facing upwards. A bright assortment of colours shone out from the eye, combining to form a glowing rectangle that floated in the air.
Theory and Shroud watched in amazement as lines of foreign text that looked like the human ‘English’ coved the rectangle before multiple sections flashed blue. The text was replaced by the symbol of a skull superimposed upon a winged shield, a large third eye on the human skull’s forehead.
This faded away to reveal a middle-aged dark-skinned human wearing a deep blue military uniform un-adorned of any medals or insignia. He possessed pitch-black hair and green eyes which were currently narrowed as he peered out at the gathered group. The human’s stern expression was replaced by an amused smile as he gazed down upon Quicksilver.
“Well, I must say that you look quite adorable Chalmers, I might just get you to stay in that body until my great-granddaughter’s birthday party.” Theory was surprised at the revelation that the human had a great-granddaughter; thanks to the scientist’s knowledge of humans he guessed that the black human looked to be only forty to fifty years of age. Was it possible that this ‘Universal Imperium of Planets’ was so advanced that they were able to stave off old-age? Theory glanced towards the main doors, content hums of merriment accompanied by the sound of sawing seemingly timed like a musical number floated in through the doorway. He shuddered, considering what lay beyond those doors it was entirely possible.
“Jeez, haven’t heard that since I was put in here,” the alien that Theory assumed was named Nigel Chalmers, if human names were anything to go by, scoffed. “I’m willing to bet that Orthodox has already tried to draw penises on my face with permanent marker while I’m out, again.” The human on the screen let out booming laughter as he wiped a tear from his eye.
“Don’t worry; we managed to catch him just in time with a bucket filled with paint. You got lucky this time.” Nigel grunted in agreement, the human officer looking at Theory and Shroud with interest.
“I’m going to assume that the unicorn is Solid Theory, your assigned target but may I ask just who is the black-bug equine?” Nigel nudged the changeling in the ribs, the nervous creature bowing before the human officer which caused the floating human to raise an eyebrow.
“I-I am Shroud, Sir. I’m known as a changeling and Commander Chalmers offered me a chance to plead for the UIP’s assistance.” The changeling finished his speech by looking up the floating screen with pleading blue eyes, the human examining the small equine. He finished his observations, focusing back on Chalmers.
“What do you know about these creatures, Commander?”
“These changelings appear to be persecuted by the Equestrians, Lord Commander. They feed off of positive emotion, the most potent being love and to achieve this they are able to mimic the form of other similar sized creatures. After a failed attack led by a queen on the Equestrian Capitol three months before the commencement of our operations in an attempt to acquire this love forcefully the surviving remnants were forced into hiding or hunted down. So far our squad as well as Zulu and Charlie teams have located and approached several isolated groups, the total numbering one-hundred-and-eighty-nine. We have gathered them all and they are willing to join the Empire in return for shelter, protection and food.” The Lord Commander stared at the hopeful changeling in thought, rubbing his chin with a hand.
“We may have to find an alternate solution to the issue of food,” the human said as he nodded at Shroud, “but while we look for one I have no issue with the integration of these ‘changelings’ as long as they pass all of the required tests and exams. In the meantime ensure their safety until the fleet arrives, they are scheduled to enter the system in about five minutes.”
“Thankyou Lord!” the changeling praised as he once again bowed, the Lord Commander holding up a hand.
“While I appreciate the respect bowing is not needed, save that for the higher-ups.” Shroud ceased his postulating, standing back up far more confidently then before.
“What do you mean by fleet?” Theory asked, wondering just how the humans planned to sail boats to Equestria.
“Why, the invasion fleet of spacecraft of course,” the Lord Commander answered, grinning at the look of disbelief on the unicorn scientist’s face, “if your Princess refuses to surrender to our demands then we will respond with force. It’s funny really; the humans that were on this planet were apparently a post-industrial society were the biggest threat in this galaxy. Before you ponies converted them to those mindless children of course. Something that was mostly achieved due to the work of that conversion potion of yours.”
“I really didn’t know just how far the Princess would go!” Theory choked out, fearing the retaliation of the human for his role in the conversions.
“Settle down, we’ve conducted genocides of our own for centuries so I’m not going to have Nigel disembowel you just for that.” Theory looked at his former assistant, the false-unicorn flashing him a grin. “We are however interested in your intellectual capability so you’re far more useful to us alive rather than dead.” The Lord Commander looked to the side as he said this, Unit-One walking into the room at the same time. The gore-covered mare giggled at as she looked towards Theory, excitement in her eyes.
“The fleet is here, it’s time for Theory-Weary to go on a wonderful trip!” she yelled happily, a section of her torso caving in as she reached a hoof into her body. The hoof emerged transformed into a three-pronged claw, the mare grasping a metal circle which she attached to Theory’s right foreleg. “This is so you don’t get lost, remember to call me anytime,” Unit-One murmured as she caressed the terrified unicorn’s head. The circle light up with blue lights, Nigel upon seeing this approached Theory.
“I hope that one day you’ll come to forgive me for my deception,” the grey unicorn said, “It was only business, nothing personal. You’ll be treated well and if you co-operate I hope to eventually stand with you once more as fellow citizens rather than enemies. I don’t know how much this will mean to you but we will try to keep civilian casualties low in the coming invasion, hell I hope that Celestia recognises just how out-matched she is and surrenders so we can avoid killing any more of you.” Nigel stepped back, Theory at a loss of what to say to the creature which he had known for months that had turned his world upside down in a day.
“Are you finished Chalmers?” The Lord Commander inquired, Nigel nodding his head in reply. “Fine then,” the human continued, “All of the other teams have reported successful missions, I’ll let the fleet know that all of the targets are ready for transport-”
“Wait!” Theory called out, causing the Lord Commander to pause. The unicorn scientist looked towards Nigel, still in the form of the pony named Quicksilver. “I have a Niece who lives in Canterlot, an orange-coated golden-haired unicorn called Bright Spark with a cutie mark of a set of fireworks. She’s the only family that I have left; can you find it in your heart to please make sure that she survives if you do invade?”
The unicorn that had stood by Theory in what was some of the most trying months of the scientist’s life nodded his head, no thought needed regarding the request. “I promise I will find her and protect her,” Chalmers answered, Theory relaxing as he prepared for whatever was going to happen.
“Goodbye, Quicksilver,” he whispered, his vision overcome as a bright blue glow flashed in his eyes, the scientist blacking out as the teleportation system activated. He was left with Chalmers’s reply as he faded off to sleep, seven words echoing in his mind as his consciousness faded away.
“See you on the other side, Friend.”
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Yay, new story for Nigel!
This was pretty good.
Damn. Deception at its best. Serves you right Celestial. Don't fuck with humans XD
So Celestia is tyrannical in this one?
Enjoyed the story overall. Just a bit TOO dark for my tastes, nor is it begging for a sequel. For me, atleast...
Wow this is the most well behaved I've ever seen Nigel act. He needs to ditch the pony body so he can blow Canterlot off the mountain.
It would be nice to have a sequel for this. I really wanna know the details of how the ponies meet their end.
If Nigel is in a story, expect mass destruction to follow.
That was kinda blunt and jarring
Also, the comma should be a full colon
The way this is written now, it seems as though the Princess is announcing the success right now, as he is reliving the memory.
Should be something like, "the entire planet", right now the phrasing makes the reader take a long logical jump.
There should be a comma after "forests" (aka Oxford Comma) and the term vibrant doesn't fit an ocean.
You cannot enter a subject without properly introducing it. Try, "their celebrating continuing for days", "their celebrations lasting days", or something along those grammatically correct lines
Having the same word in such close proximity with this set up creates an awkward reading resulting in a disruption of flow and distance from the story.
There should be a comma after "scientist" and "tore at him" should be just "tore him".
*passed
These sentences were done very well, they were set-up and balanced perfectly. "as well as humorous jokes and lightheaded teasing" was a great phrase
They both contain large amounts of backstory in a rather short amount of words, kudos to you.
This was a great transition. By talking about something and leading into the subject, then switching to dialogue, you gave us a short heads-up that you would be showing the thing Theory valued. Good job
People don't talk like this, this dialogue is awkward and jarring.
Lowercase in this context.
Lowercase in this context.
Hope this helps, I'd like to finish but I've got other "obligations" to tend to
That is all. Equestria is ours.
3822015
Thanks, I have to admit that I was in a rush to push it out, my dialouge skills are kind of wanting and colons are not something i'm terribly confident with. Thankyou for the feedback.
3822033
np
That is all. Equestria is ours.
This story has nothing to do with doppelgangers....
Title misleading, butt is now hurt, DISLIKE DISLIKE DISLIKE. (In robot voice)
Seriously dude, I won't dislike your story, but c'mon. Do you even know what a doppelganger is...?
3822669
noun
noun: doppelgänger; plural noun: doppelgängers
1. an apparition or double of a living person.
I will give you the point because they are not exact copies, but considering the fact that they are inhabiting the bodies of ponies and four of them can shapeshift i think that the title is close enough. Also the four units look exactly the same (well, in their pairs that is).
Thinking back on it, I should have called it "I know who you converted last summer."
Need a sequel so much!
Misuse of the word "doppleganger": Consider my jimmies rustled.
Anyway, not bad. Not the best, but not the worst. Overall, an interesting take on TCB.
3824506
If the most of the complaints I recieve are about how the title is not 100% accurate then I'm fine with it.
Well that was interesting, while not my favorite anti-TCB, the TCB still is burned to the ground so I'm easy. Found it hilarious to see Nigel get called adorable.
Definitely needs a sequel.
I need a sequel. Come on, sequel!
I can responsibly say that this rocks
...
But for some reason I can't shake the idea of this empire being put up against the CORE and the Arm from Total Annihilation. Or just CORE.
3837349
First off, that game is still in my top ten.
Sup com (not 2, that game is shite) is pretty good as well and have you seen planatery Anhillation?
Secondly, in regards to the UIP:
They use drones and robot units, hell Unit-One is a fully aware AI after all. Plus did you read the 'Multi-universal Empire bit? I made them so OP it's not funny. Hell in one fic of mine Nigel has an armoured suite powered by four anti-matter reactors with a in-built fabricator.
3837377 My thoughts exactly and yeah, I have.
And I see, but they don't have the patterning, consciousness downloading or nano-lathing. Or do they?
And they're remarkably fast with strip-mining planets. Just a few days. Can the UIP top that?
And yeah, I did read that bit. Doesn't stop the CORE from trying still, does it?
Another thing. There's a TA fic on Fanfiction, which Cavedog declared canon. So the CORE has (or used to have) 80km super dreadnaughts.
3837396
That fic where Nigel gets that OP suit, yes it does have nano-lathing, that's fabrication.
The UIP can detonate suns by use of tempororal weaponry
Notice the lack of suprise to magic? That's because they have necrotech (have a guess what that means...)
As for the dreadnaught arguement...
It's my Empire so I say:
Reginald-Class Command and Control
Size: 120 kilometres
Crew: 8000 naval personnel, 5000 marines, 1000 pilots
Power: 10 Bronson-type B Antimatter Generators, One 'Icarus' type-B Steller Generator
Weapons: 60 twin-linked variable-caliber antimater cannons, 30 each side dorsel surface
80 close range wide-bore type E12 Plasma cannons, placed in pairs on lower surface
400 point defense quad-linked laser cannons, distributed around exteriour of ship
40 'Wrecker' LR anti-ship missile launchers, 900 megaton anti-matter warhead
10 'Titan Slayer' Heavy Anti-Ship Missiles, 2000 Megaton Dark-Matter warhead
Fighter Complement: 400 'Starstreak' heavy fighters, 200 'Leveller' Heavy bombers, numorous other fights/bombers/planatary assault craft
Shields: 12 'Protector MKII' varible shield systems
Cargo: Up to 80 000 UIP Military troops, assorted combat vehicles and mechs. Standard supplies
Special: Subspace tunneling sensors, Subspace comms array, Matter Reactor Bay, Ship Repair bay, Subspace Teleporter, 'Wrath Of God' Anti-Steller Temporial Weapon
Houston-class Carrier
Size: 92 kilometres
Crew: 5000 naval personnel, 2000 marines, 2000 pilots
Power: 10 Bronson-type B Antimatter Generators
Weapons: 18 twin-linked variable-caliber antimater cannons, 9 each side dorsel surface
30 close range wide-bore type E6 Plasma cannons, placed in pairs on lower surface
300 point defense quad-linked laser cannons, distributed around exteriour of ship
4 'Wrecker' LR anti-ship missile launchers, 900 megaton anti-matter warhead
Fighter Complement: 600 'Starstreak' heavy fighters, 300 'Leveller' Heavy bombers, numorous other fights/bombers/planatary assault craft
Shields: 8 'Protector' varible shield systems
Cargo: Up to 50 000 UIP Military troops, assorted combat vehicles and mechs. Standard supplies
Subjugator-class Heavy Cruiser- Planatary Invasion Configuration
Size: 72 kilometres
Crew: 5000 naval personnel, 2000 marines, 800 pilots
Power: 8 Bronson-type B Antimatter Generators
Weapons: 28 twin-linked variable-caliber antimater cannons, 14 each side dorsel surface
30 close range wide-bore type E6 Plasma cannons, placed in pairs on lower surface
100 point defense quad-linked laser cannons, distributed around exteriour of ship
4 'Wrecker' LR anti-ship missile launchers, 900 megaton anti-matter warhead
20 'Splitter' Anti-Ship Torpedo bays, 8 each side with 4 frontal mounts
Fighter Complement: 200 'Starstreak' heavy fighters, 150 'Leveller' Heavy bombers
Shields: 5 'Protector' varible shield systems
Cargo: Up to one million UIP Military troops, assorted combat vehicles and mechs. Outpost construction equiptment and supplies.
Planatary Assault: 16 underside Space-to-ground Missile silos, 40 S2G Mass Railguns
Special: Drop Pod Bays, Weapon manafactory
Hiendrecker Cruiser- Support and Supply
Size: 60 kilometres
Crew: 3000 naval personnel, 1000 marines, 1500 medical/support officers
Power: 6 Bronson-type B Antimatter Generators
Weapons: 16 twin-linked variable-caliber antimater cannons, 8 each side dorsel surface
20 close range wide-bore type E5 Plasma cannons, placed in pairs on lower surface
60 point defense quad-linked laser cannons, distributed around exteriour of ship
Shields: 4 'Protector' varible shield systems
Cargo: Medical supplies, Ship supplies, assorted combat vehicles and mechs. Outpost construction equiptment and supplies, replacement parts and other supplies.
Special: Subspace Portal Generator, Repair drone bay
Conqueror-class Heavy Cruiser
Size: 78 kilometres
Crew: 5000 naval personnel, 4000 marines
Power: 8 Bronson-type B Antimatter Generators
Weapons: 48 twin-linked variable-caliber antimater cannons, 24 each side dorsel surface
50 close range wide-bore type E6 Plasma cannons, placed in pairs on lower surface
200 point defense quad-linked laser cannons, distributed around exteriour of ship
8 'Wrecker' LR anti-ship missile launchers, 900 megaton anti-matter warhead
40 'Splitter' Anti-Ship Torpedo bays, 15 each side with 10 frontal mounts
Shields: 8 'Protector mkII' varible shield systems, 'Hoplite' Frontal deflector
Planatary Assault: 4 underside Space-to-ground Missile silos
Special: Two forward-facing 'Ripper' Large-caliber S2S Mass Railguns
Adolf Cruiser- Biowarfare/Psionic Config
Size: 58 kilometres
Crew: 2000 naval personnel, 1000 marines, 600 Psionic officers
Power: 6 Bronson-type B Antimatter Generators
Weapons: 16 twin-linked variable-caliber antimater cannons, 8 each side dorsel surface
20 close range wide-bore type E5 Plasma cannons, placed in pairs on lower surface
60 point defense quad-linked laser cannons, distributed around exteriour of ship
Shields: 4 'Protector' varible shield systems
Planetary Assault: 8 'Infector' Biowarfare missile tubes, multiple payloads
Cargo: 200 Psionic Op Commandos, Multiple strains of Bioweapons
Special: Psionic Cannon, Psionic sensor Array
Reginald Class Destroyer
Size: 30 kilometres
Crew: 1000 naval personnel, 500 marines,
Power: 4 Bronson-type B Antimatter Generators
Weapons: 8 twin-linked variable-caliber antimater cannons, 4 each side dorsel surface
2 Single-bore heavy antimatter cannons, two top-mounted turrets
20 close range wide-bore type E5 Plasma cannons, placed in pairs on lower surface
40 point defense quad-linked laser cannons, distributed around exteriour of ship
10 'Swarm' Multiple-Launch missile systems
Shields: 2 'Protector' varible shield systems
Spook Class- ISA Eletronic warfare/Black Ops
Size: 12kilometres
Crew: 800 naval personnel, 200 marines, 100 EW Operators
Power: 8 Bronson-type B Antimatter Generators
Weapons: 18 twin-linked variable-caliber antimater cannons, 9 each side dorsel surface
20 close range wide-bore type E6 Plasma cannons, placed in pairs on lower surface
30 point defense quad-linked laser cannons, distributed around exteriour of ship
2 'Santa Claus' Minelayers
Shields: 2 'Protector' varible shield systems
Cargo: 200 Black Op 'Wraith' Commandos
Special: 'Haze' cloaking device, 'Blink' short-range Ship teleporter, 'Leaper' Short range warp drive, 'Weasel' EW array, 'Snoop' Advance sensor system, Ship to Planet Indirect Teleporter
I'm not even started yet...
TLDR:
They'll mess them up
3837612 Impressive. I concede to you.
I wonder how the UIP would hold up to my friend's Hundred Empires concept. Just ask my friend Caledus the Immortal about it.
3837612 I shall give you the specs of my biggest in universe capable starship.
Kronos-class Super Dreadnought.
Size: 80 Light-years
Crew: Three hundred and eighty six quintillian crew, twenty three hundred and nine quintillian military personal.
Power: 932 times Urick-class Thyton Universal Collision Reactor Mk XVII
Weapons: Nano-form hyper fold machinobot outer layer, can morph into any weapon stored in the ships databanks.
Fighter Complement: Three trillion Promtheus-class Battle frigates
Shields: One Infinium powered nucleo-ionic energy pulse shield operating between 1E-9999 Hertz and 999999324E891 Hertz, one Icona-Nova matter disruption field emitter
Cargo: Varies from mission.
Special: Nymphgate Exoverse Core, Nylium temporal eviscerater, matter generation suites, energy fabricators, life essence collectors, cloning stations, temporal shielding, white matter field densifier.
Ta-da, now you know why my head cannon is able to destroy universes.
3869093
Nigel eats Celestia, gaining her TCB powers. Therfore according to TCB nothing you do can stop him, NOTHING!
3869098 *Whistles awkwardly* You're forgetting Captain Overpowered, he'll just eat Nigel and then poop out nuclear cluster bombs.
3869112
Nope, since Nigel ate Celestia, nothing can touch him. You can erase existance itself and nothing would happen, he would just raise a barrier of invincableness and laugh at Captain Overpowered.
3869117 Then he'd turn around and Captain Overpowered would be sitting there helping himself to Nigels cheese.
3871780
Then everything would cease to exist. The resulting battle would be indiscribable and existance itself would implode. Nothing would be left, not even Invinctia (TCB-Celestia)
3871818 And then Captain Overpowered would just be there, growing increasingly bored until he farts out another creation. He was made to take down the most OP of Gary Stu's and Mary Sue's.
3871823
I can see why this site must be his favorite hunting grounds, the amount of Black and Red alicorns must give him some indigestion though.
3872522 His stomach is actually the realm of all things harmful and cruel. It happened sometime after he accidentally swallowed thirty kilos of ghost peppers, three gigabytes of Japanese porn, a justin bieber album, a one direction album, and the tears of a titan.
interesting story, nicely done keep it up... Thumbs up
OMG dat cover pic
fc02.deviantart.net/fs71/i/2014/033/3/8/scp_035___possessive_mask_by_jason_jason-d74vs4v.jpg
3869093
3837612
Well, to all of this, I donate the Unmaker-class Special Super Destroyer to the UIP.
Size - 20 kilometers
Crew - 1000 naval personnel, 500 Maintenance Crew
Power - 5 Unmaker Specially Made Time Vortex Generators
Weapon - 1 Unmaker Super Cannon
2 Forward-facing Benjamin EMP emitters
4 Newton energy collectors
Shields - 2 Weapon Denial Shields
Cargo - 20 tons
Description: Small in comparison to most ships, the Unmaker looks quite unthreatening from the sides and rear, but at the front you see the weapon it was designed around. The Unmaker Super Cannon has a 1 minute charge to fire, and a 5 minute cooldown. When it fires, it takes Time by the neck and makes it it's bitch, forcing whatever is in it's sights to age at about 10000 the normal rate, making almost anything rust,mold,and age to dust within seconds. And after it's aged to dust, the ship will collect the remaining energy and send out a forward directional EMP blast to stun any other ships that survived. The EMP blast can, of course, be cancelled out and redirected into the ship itself to overclock the generators to add a little boost of energy where ever it's needed.
You know it's gonna kick-ass, just like the Doom 64 weapon it was named after.
4502381 Methinks you don't understand how large a lightyear is. Imagine light. Now imagine it travelling at its max speed for a year. That is a lightyear, and it is fucking massive.
4503933 Yes, i do know about lightyears. Also, size isn't everything. You may have a fuckmassive ship, but the Unmaker only needs it's one gun to annihilate your ship. Nothing can defeat time, after all.
4504038 Except for it's shielding systems. Not to mention it has it's own time based super weapon, only it has omnipresential attack capabilities.
4504525 The shields won't help, as it hits the area around the ship that it hit, meaning the shields will run out of power due to having to try to compensate for the rapid use. And even with that, the inside will age aswell. Basically, the only thing that can withstand a blast from the Unmaker is a TARDIS.
4505017 It'd just exit the universe. It has that ability. Also, it has generators that create power by colliding two universes together, they won't run out because time is running at ten thousand times its normal speed. Plus as a last fuck you, upon destruction its internal compression fields dissipate and you get to experience a cosmic scale fragmentation grenade.
4505026 And if it left the universe, then it wouldn't bother my universe for awhile. Plus, even though the generators will be able to get over it, it'd still have a gapingly massive hole on the inside of the shield, where the actual ship is. Then it'd have to spend time and energy to repair itself, and i'm pretty sure by that time the Unmaker would be ready to fire. Heck, it'd probably take longer if it's fired at the ship from the front and exits the rear. And finally, i don't think that it'd explode from time, as that'd be a major design flaw. What if you need to put it out of commision, due to say, age? Also, to not even consider the ship, any personnel caught in the blast will age and turn to dust practically instantly. That means depending on where the blast hits and continues, thats millions upon millions of little dust piles of where some people were. And as the final proverbial nail in the coffin, i'm pretty sure the shields will react to Energy and Projectile types of weapons, not Time based. And you can't say it's immune to time-based, as it'd have to have time frozen on the inside for it to be immune. Like i said in that car-salesmanesqe description, it takes Time by the neck and makes it it's bitch.
4505055 It has an internal compression ratio of one billion to one. It's internal volume is a billion times its external volume. By destroying it you cause the compression fields to fail, so you have roughly half a galaxy worth of matter suddenly being in the same spot. That'll either cause the most powerful black hole in the universe, or it'll explode outwards at the speed of light. Either way, your ship will still die. Also these ships don't need to be decommissioned, they just need the latest specs uploaded to them and then it'll retrofit itself to those specs. So while your ultimate gun may cause what you'd assume to be critical damage, it wouldn't even scratch the surface of what's inside. Plus even if you do destroy it, there's still countless more in the multiverse, hell, it's fighters are planet sized battleships with several million fighters docked in them. The ships that exist outside of the universe have armor plating so thick that one segment would blot out the observable universe.
4505086 Well, if all that's going to happen to the Unmaker is it getting destroyed, that's fine. Considering the thing costs about the same as today's $6 billion USD, as it's literally just a ship made around a gun and that it's construction time is about a year or so, it can easily be replaced. Unlike your ship though, which will probably cost a shit-ton more money than capable to be in a single solar system and take ages to rebuild. And yes, it would still cause damage. Rust and shit, plus on top of that most of the crew dead. Also, even if those 'fighters' are planet sized, it doesn't matter as it would just do the same to those. I think you yourself fail to realize the downside of fuckmassive ships. They're just bigger and easier targets to hit and kill. Also, seeing as how advanced your ship is, take into consideration the damage the cannon would do to circuits. Those will short-out within nanoseconds, causing even more damage and a possible short-out. And then finally, if you noticed i have only been describing one Unmaker facing your ship, it's because there can only be one in combat at all times. This is because if two Unmakers fired at the same time, it'd cause a massive rip in space-time that'll suck anything directly into the void. It does go away after awhile, but still.
4505129 Well there's the Revenant, which is basically the size of a B-2, and can travel anywhere or anywhen instantly, has omnipresential lasers, temporal shielding, quantum shielding, infinite mass cores, is the size of an apartment building inside, and has infinite power, simply because it can. Not to mention it is instantly repairing, can pilot itself, and can rebuild itself or make more of itself. It's basically the ultimate fuck you of my fighter class ships. Also, my fuck massive ship has one advantage your ships do not: It can turn its ENTIRE outer hull into weapons or any size or power. Basically, it has every weapon ever, and it can have them anywhere on itself.
4505152 ...You're just pulling shit out of your arse now aren't you? XD
4505469 Who said I was't in the first place?
4505502 Very good point, sir. The pulling of shit shall never end!
4505511 Indubitably.
4505513 ...I have absolutely no idea on what to say from this point.. My brainz r ded!
4505530 Indubitably!