• Member Since 22nd Nov, 2013
  • offline last seen Oct 1st, 2018


Are you a Rebel?


Herbert Wilkinson, an experienced government drone, makes the mistake of putting on a strange hat that a loony shopkeeper gives him.

Now, he is the Greengrocer, a villain with awesome powers over fruit and vegetables that he plans to use for his new-found goal:

The complete, and economical, subjugation of the new land he finds himself in.

The most villainous League of Humans Acting Villainous fic you'll ever read, I swear on me mum.

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 52 )

Upvoted only because it's you. I'm just surprised there weren't any changelings this time.

Sees the story.

Sounds interesting, and it's from Dropbear, I guess i'll give it a quick read before I continue typing my story...

Sees the 9,000+ Word Count

...So much for a quick read.

Can't find a single damn thing wrong with this fic.


Oh yeah.


>No Changelings


I think a certain Mumzie Dearest wouldn't approve of you swearing on her like that.

So, is this the reason for the weight wait?

Goddamnit man, you're actually a decent writer. Stop contributing to this cancer.

So here he was, Princess Greengrocer of Equestria and in control of the entire country.

I died.

Wow. This story, man. It's just... perfect.

Starting off I wasn't sure if this was making fun of something but either way this was amazing. Sequel, sequel I say!

and his cat, Mittens, were the only things he was looking forward to.

the blue-armoured lawmen casually talking to each other through their helmet speakers with their gauss-rifles held at their sides. He bit his bottom lip and hurried his pace past them, the weapons they held reminding him of memories he’d rather not remember.

This linked video has gore in it. Just so you know.> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tVx2uCcDXX0

Oh no, he solved world hunger, clearly, he's as evil as evil can be

Cute read

Huh, that was actually pretty enjoyable! I rarely get the chance to say that with Displaced fics, especially when it's a rare and original one.

I'd actually like to see a sequel where he gets to go back for a short time to apologize and explain that the hat was messing with his head. What's even funnier is the fact that they're already very familiar with such things (NMM, the Alicorn Amulet, etc.), so they might just brush it off as no big deal.

A very funny, well-written, and surprisingly deep story. Great job! :pinkiehappy:

“By six for five bits
Should be "Buy"

“I just… did we really loose our country
Should be "lose"

Other than that I didn't catch anything.
I liked this one quite a bit, got a good chuckle from it.


Well, writers block and work. We're going through our three-year refreash cycle (replacing all of the computers/printers/monitors) and I'm the scrub in charge of getting them all into the storage shed, unpacking them, listing them, deploying them, etc. It pretty much means that I can't just sit at my desk and write thousands of words while I wait for someone to have an issue.

I get to drive a forklift though, so it's not all bad.


The key to a good satire is if people can't easily distinguish it from the thing it's making fun of.

Also, it's another tick in the 'Fic subjects that shouldn't be written about' box.


Also that had better not been the MiB. Funny ending regardless.

The character Herbert is from a TCB parody fic where he arrives on earth with a squad of enforcers to deliver a fine to the Princesses for inter-universal travel without a permit. It's a bit of meta-humor on my part.


Thanks for those, it's always the small mistakes that escape notice.

Normally I like to bash Displaced fics, but this one is an obvious parody, actually has a novel idea, and is kind of funny, so good job I guess.

I'll admit that I liked this one. I normally hate the LoHAV stories, but this was just fucking funny.

Plot twist: The troopers are actually what humanized changelings look like.

Plot twist (II): The fruits and vegetables were all changelings.


Displaced, eh? Is that what they're calling LOHAV fics now?

Edit: Their group seemed pretty serious about their fics... so I added it anyway. Hue.

All he has to do is apply for a mind-control exemption plea. According to Title 61, ch. 14, s.ch. III, § 3398, ¶ 3 of the Intergalactic Legal Code, "An individual under partial or complete influence of mind control/affection, or any mind controlling/affecting device, system, or tool, without their consent... cannot be held legally accountable for any actions taken, statements made, or documents or agreements written or signed." That being said, the assault charge he's certain to be facing will leave a rather nasty mark on his criminal record.

On that same note, Loony's going to be facing a rather nasty legal mire, what with selling unlicensed mind affecting devices, not being a licensed mind affecting device dealer, and allowing an individual to handle a mind affecting device without ensuring that said individual was licensed to own and operate one.

Also, is it appropriate that I imagined Loony with white and black hair and the voice of a certain actor famed for playing mad gods?

With the silliness out of the way, you've created a character whom I am genuinely interested in. What was he doing in the military? What affected him so badly that he went from military to a cog in the corporate machine? How did he develop such an intense phobia of crowds?




Another Dropbear story... Odds are it will at least make my tracking list when I actually get around to reading it... Alas, Ark calls to me.

6132186 eh? I love the story it have me with and Evil smile and even I would like to things get better for Herbert
he can't prove he was mind controlled the Evidence was burned and after that he was still under its effects for a little
while he only hope is that he's knowledge of the system and laws or the two police man that saw
him dispensary because of Loony if they didn't think he was on nasty businesses they saw him skittish away from him after all.

yet most Important what happen to Mittens? :trixieshiftright:

6132051 yeah is almost the same but without the League thing, this is the only one I have liked so far. :rainbowkiss:

oh I just notice they got their Kingdom back the one who for some moths depended of one single man
to feed the masses and the farms aren't producing right? did they just got Doomed the moment he lost?

Brilliant. Absolutely sublime.

I think the green-grocer is a chilling extended metaphor for Woolworths.

6131232 Yes, but that doesn't mean you don't end up with god knows how many morons going 'Hey, look! Another LoHAV in the featured box! Gee, I should start writing my own, those always get featured!' And a resulting 50 or so HEY GUISE I DRESSED UP AS NARUTO AND WENT TO A CONVENTION, NOW SHIT'S GOTTEN WAAAAACKY! fics.

6129489 Quick read? Depends on your reading speed, I guess... Took me less than half an hour to read this. *chuckles* Pretty funny LOHAV story, author! /)

6133342 I made that comment because I was surprised Dropbear had made a LOHAV fic with a 9,000+ word count. :rainbowwild:

Specifically a one-shot.

Twilight can't do conjuration? Trixie can.

I dislike the ending. He has an entire country's supply of gold. He seriously couldn't pay the fine? And he never actually attacked anyone.


The ending is a reference to this:

The Conversion Bureau-- Bureaucracy

Also, he wasn't exactly going to pay. He was too busy giving his villainous speech.


By that logic, there should be a swath of Self-inserts and black and red alicorn fics in the feature bo...

... Oh.

Oh what have I done?

(Seriously though, I think that's a bit of an overreaction. I'd say that the group dedicated to pumping 'Displaced' fics out are probably a bigger cause.)

6134331 Eh the people in the group aren't anywhere near as obsessed with getting featured as that guy seems to think. Most people just write stuff like that for the fun of it all.

An excellent contribution to the rising counterculture movement against the LOHAV stories. I enjoyed this throughly.

6134331 I know he wasn't going to pay, but I have to wonder, why not? He totally had the money. And it was the one law he had actually broken.

If he files for Mind Control Exemption, they will hold a trial. One instance of evidence will be the holo-recordings taken by each of the police officers' built-in helmet cameras. Furthermore, he could call on witnesses from Equestria to talk about his behavior during his time in the hat, and how it compares to how he acted before and after. From there, the jury can decide if his demeanor before and after the destruction of the hat was sufficiently different to be evidence of mind-control.

6135205 nice you should be Herbert Lawyer! :derpytongue2:

6133315 many times the writers of Displaced fics don't just do it because those made it to the feature box
but for the fact that they can get one of they favorite characters change their personality with a human
of their choose and get themselves a fic they see as good, many other readers end up just reading that fic
for the character they like, giving a like and even favorite it before it properly start causing the fic to
made it to the feature box, so its not just the Authors but also the readers are responsible.

Oh no, I'm merely a secretary. Defense lawyers don't actually have to know the law, they just have to make sure their defendant isn't convicted (or, failing that, get them the lightest sentence possible). In this case, it sometimes help if they don't know much about the law.

6135406 you can do it you even have the word Freedom on your name!
this is Equestria your name weight a lot around here. :yay:

just defend from the equestrian side.

I enjoyed it, I'm not understanding the large amount of downvotes.


It's probably (since very little people have commented on anything negitive apart from 'It's LOHAV') the fact that it has LOHAV in the title. Despite it being a parody, people see that and go 'Downvote because LOHAV is cancer'. It's the reaction I was expecting as I was around when these fics were really, really annoying to the point of rivaling the great 'Brony in Equestria' craze.

Hmmm, I was certain this would end with the big reveal being that Looney was actually Discord, oh well...

It's a shame people are seeing LOHAV in the title and downvoting (apparently).

Wonders what Dropbear is up to, and then sees that he has 15 stories, instead of 14. Squees in happiness. Sees that it is another parody. Yay!

“Applejack, don’t be silly. Conjuration is very advanced magic that I can’t even do, and I’ve only seen Celestia do it once. For somepony to just make tons of food out of nothing is as unlikely as a pony putting on a mask and becoming a superpony. It’s silly and it doesn’t make sense.”

Yeah, about that...

I feel like the majority of the people downvoting this haven't actually read it, likely mistaking it for an actual LOHAV and not a parody.

EDIT: Ah, I see you reached the same conclusion yourself.

I'm in Dropbear withdrawal, so I felt like reading this again for a quick fix... It barely helped. I need a fix!

Even in Equestria, Astrophycology cannot be a real field. The proper term is Xenophycology.

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